Hopes

The days passed peacefully. However, one should know that Big Bang’s definition is different from the socially accepted one. They kept on having their own busy schedules, but they spent their free time as they always did – teasing each other, taking naps together and playing games. Seungri was forced to share a bed with the members according to a plan they devised. After four nights of moving from room to room, Riri decided to rebel and went back to his own bedroom. His hyungs were hesitant at first, but let him do as he wished.

When he finally crawled back to his own bed, he felt relieved, but …cold at the same time. Even though he shared a bed with various members for only five days, he had somehow adjusted to having someone next to him when he fell asleep.

‘Grow up, Seungri! Aish, I feel like some kind of a spoilt brat!’ Riri thought and his head collapsed heavily on the pillow.

He sighed and forced himself to fall asleep.

However, that was… a mistake.

Seungri’s sleep was disturbed by the nightmare again. He groaned as he shifted uncomfortably. It was around three in the morning. He pushed his duvet aside, because he felt unusually hot. Riri lied in his bed motionlessly for half an hour, thinking about what the nightmare was, but unfortunately, he didn’t recall anything new beside some images that were too blurry to be described. Then he decided to go to the kitchen. Since he was thirsty and didn’t want to fall asleep anymore – the perspective of experiencing the nightmare immediately made him shiver – he prepared some coffee.

‘Gosh, I can feel my blood boiling inside me. Why is it so hot in here?!’ Seungri thought and took his mug with him.

He opened the doors to the terrace and sat down on a chair. His breath visualized in front of his lips. It was refreshing to sit and watch as the sky gradually turned from navy blue, to lavender and then to pinkish. The contrast between Seungri’s hot body and cold air made the maknae feel as if small needles were piercing through his skin. Surprisingly, the sensation was quite pleasant. He sat there until he could see first rays of sunlight.

‘What is wrong with me?’ Riri thought as he sipped his coffee, ‘What are those dreams about? Why are they so scary? Why are there so many questions that I am unable to answer? Maybe I should  just ask for a therapist?’

The coffee was still hot; therefore, its steam was visible in the dim light. He was deeply engrossed in his thoughts that he didn’t notice that someone was watching him. Suddenly, Riri jumped in surprise when he heard a scream behind him.

“You smoke?! You better explain yourself, Lee Seungri!” Youngbae shouted and his eyes widened as soon as he opened the doors to the terrace.

Seungri turned around with a hand on his racing heart, “Hyung, don’t scare me like that! And for your information, I don’t smoke and you should should know that very well! I value my voice! Besides, you should be aware of my opinion about smoking – I see no point in doing something that brings no advantages and in addition shortens your life! Aishh~” rhe maknae tilted his head backwards, still feeling adrenaline rushing through his veins. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes.

“Even though I only saw your back, I clearly saw smoke! Are you hiding something or maybe even lying to us all, Seungri-ah?! ” the older idol exclaimed, as he approached Riri.

“Aigoo, you are so stupid, hyung! I am drinking coffee and what you have seen was its steam!” Seungri pointed at his coffee, frowning.

“Oooh, I see,” Youngbae finally said and blushed in embarrassment, “Sorry, I didn’t see your mug. Can I join you?”

“Yeah, sure. Anyway, how did you find me here?”

“I went to the bathroom and felt that it was somehow colder; therefore, I assumed that we must have forgotten to close a window or something like that. Then I saw you and you know what happened next.”

The idols sat next to each other silently and watched the mesmerizing sunrise. The sky was changing its color to orange. They felt bit warmer as they slowly bathed in the fresh sunlight.

“Did you wake up, because of the nightmare?” Youngbae finally broke silence and nervously glanced at his dongsaeng.

At first Riri didn’t answer and this made his hyung worried that he said something inappropriate. After all, Riri’s face always turned a little bit gloomy whenever the matter of his dreams was brought up. All members decided not to mention the touchy subject, unless it was absolutely necessary, “I am sorry, I shouldn’t-”

“Yes,” the maknae interrupted him, his eyes still set on the sky. He wasn’t speaking; he was whispering with a hoarse voice, “I don’t know what is happening, hyung. I have never experienced such a weird feeling before. I cannot remember anything from the nightmares. All I know is that I don’t want to be there. Everything is so irrational. And this lack of knowledge terrifies me the most.”

‘Wow, Seungri finally said something more about his dre