Here he was again, lying on the shiny leather couch, talking to Dr. Byun. He was staring at the ceiling again crossing his arms and legs, giving away exactly how much he did not enjoy visiting this place. He didn't want to be here but he supposed it beat sitting at home feeling sorry for himself.

"So how are you feeling after your first chemo?" Baekhyun asked. Chanyeol sighed extra loud and inwardly rolled his eyes, he had been waiting for this question. He was surprised how long it had taken the doctor to ask it.

"It feels pretty bad I gotta say," hr explained. He didn't know why he had to tell Baekhyun this. That 'doctor' didn't know what he was going through. "My head hurts really bad right now"

"Yeah ummmmmm," Dr. Byun paused as if looking for the right thing to say. Was there a right thing to say? How could there possibly be a right thing to say? The whole situation was so awkward and uncomfortable. "From what I understand it's pretty rough."

From what he understands? He understoof nothing about this 'process'. He didn't know what it was like to have fluids forced into your body that hurt like a million punches to the gut but you just have to deal with it because it somehow helps in the end. He had no idea.

"But it will pass," he added quicly. Then he patted Chanyeol on the shoulder and left his hand there supposedly trying to comfort him. Why was he touching him? Chanyeol glanced at the hand then back to the man it belonged to. It felt inappropriate. Baekhyun noticed Chanyeol looking and realised that the man was uncomfortable. He removed his hand awkwardly and wouldn't look at Chanyeol as he did, making everything even more uncomfortable.

"Mmmm," the taller agreed unenthusiastically.

"I think it's important to remember that these side effects are normal," he told his patient.

"Well that's good," Chanyeol said sarcastically. "I'd hate to feel special in some kind of way."

It was silent again. That man didn't have a clue how to do this did he? God help the poor souls who have to go to him when he's officially a doctor.

"Uh... I'm sensing some anger... which is good!" he said trying to smile and cheer Chanyeol up.

"I'm not angry!" the other said loudly. It came out a lot angrier than he intended it to which didn't help convincing the doctor that he was wrong. He realised that he had made to smaller man feel uncomfortable again because he didn't say anything. Maybe it's because he was so much bigger than the doctor that he felt intimidated. Did he scare the doctor? He could feel him staring at the top of his head even though he was looking at the ceiling. Chanyeol decided to keep the conversation going.

"Why would that be good?"

"Because you're expressing yourself," Baekhyun explained. He seemed excited to show off what he had learned at university, as though he didn't want to put all of those essays and assignments he had comoleted during his degree to waste. "You're dealing with a very serious illness and it ummmmm...it brings up a lot of emotions."

"So you're trying to make me freak out and get angry? Is that what's going on here?"

"I'm not trying to make you freak out," he said quickly. "But I want you to get in touch with what you're feeling inside. So if you're angry-"

"I'm not angry okay? Why would I...," Chanyeol stopped and sighed. "Let's just do the relaxation thing yeah? Can we do that? I wanna hear some sitars and go to my happy place and feel the light."

"I see," said Baekhyun, nodding his head and looking very disappointed. Chanyeol felt bad instantly. He wasn't normally this cranky but everything was changing now and he was having a hard time coping with all of the medication and appointments and boredom from lack of a job.

"Sorry for being an , I didn't mean that," he apologised quietly. Baekhyun looked up at him and gave him a small smile.

"I don't need you to apologise and try to take care of me," he said. "I'm actually trying to care of you."

"You're right," Chanyeol agreed.

"Listen, there's a couple of books I want you to check out," he said while writing on a page. "A lot of people find them helpful."

He ripped the page in half and handed Chanyeol what he had written. The taller glanced at the titles but didn't really notice what they were.

"You don't have to read them cover to cover, just flick through them. I think you'll find them helpful."

"Okay I will." With that, Baekhyun patted his arm again whether as a thank you for the apology or a thank you for Chanyeol putting in a bit of effort, Chanyeol had to say something now.

"Sorry are you gonna keep touching me like that?" he asked the doctor.

"This?" He did again to make sure he knew what Chanyeol was talking about.

"Yes, that."

"I'm just trying to make you feel more at ease," he explained.

"That doesn't make me feel at ease," Chanyeol told him. "It feels like I'm being slapped by a sea otter."

"Touching releases stress. It's a technique," the smaller explained, once again getting excited about sharing what he had learned in university. "It's one of the key ways hospital practitioners help their patients to feel more comfortable and at home, less stressed out."

"Well that's not gonna-"

"Really?" he cut Chanyeol off. "A sea otter? I mean is this better?" He