Bomi's POV

Being a broken hearted, a hopeless and a lifeless person for about few months really made me realize that I was living a useless life for all this time. I was a useless girl, I was just a girl who breezes through heartbreaks, the girl who didn't want to find someone else but hurting herself. It was totally different with who I was before I experienced a brokenheart, I was a girl who was so independent, a girl who was strong. What happen to me totally changed me into a dark me. I wish I was strong, I wish I could get through anything. But it was totally different, I was numb, I could not feel anymore. There was a time that I wish I'd die better than living like this and bothering all the people.

And today, I'm gonna meet and talk to my ex girlfriend, a woman who I loved the most in the past, a woman who I trusted the most, a woman who turn me into this darkness. I know she's just gonna apologize to me, but I know that I'll go back to the past where she loved me, when she lied to me, when she cheated on me, when she left me for another boy. I got distracted suddenly whether the decision that I made is right or not? I have my own reasons for this and I totally understand why Eunji and the other girls worried about me. It's not that they're afraid Chorong will hurt me, but they're worried about my mental. My body is totally shaking as I'm thinking about this, thinking about the dark memories that I had.

"Are you okay Bomi-ya? You can change your mind if you don't want to do this yet" Hyuna unnie makes me sure if I really want to do this.

"Don't worry unnie, I'll be fine" I ensure her, I know she's worried too. I feel blessed to have them in my life.

"We'll stay outside Bbom-ah, you don't need to worry" Eunji said it again.

*******

"Bbom-ah..."

I turn my head when I heard a soft voice called my, I know who comes, I know who she is, and I don't know what to do. I can't hardly breath, I'm in a state of confusion, scared, as I've had such a long nightmares. It was totally different with I imagined before. I knew I would be able to talk or just say yes to response her, but the fact, I couldn't move my mouth at all, I got a cold sweat all over my body, my body got stiff. My eyes couldn't stop starring angrily to her. I feel like something burn my body.

She walked inside hesitantly towards my direction, she walked really slow, I can see her eyes aren't off my sight. I can see her smile frightenedly to me. I can see her red eyes, it's almost teary. I didn't move my wheel chair, I keep staying where I sit before, I let her comes near me, I let her call my name. The nightmares that I had suddenly popped again into my head, the nightmares about her, about the suicide, the scene when she dropped herself from the rooftop, the scene when she chose to kill herself, the scene when she chose to end her life in front of my eyes. That was totally scaring me, that was totally frightenning. I didn't realize when cold sweats rolling down into my body.

"Bo,,, Bbom-ah,," She called my name one more time, this time, she has been in front of me, she's so close to me, and yet I let her to, I couldn't answer anything, I just nodded hesitantly.

I haven't said anything. then she kneeling down in front of my chair then cry. I know I was wrong, I think I could be strong when she comes, I know I'll just get weak just seeing her like this.

"Bbom-ah,, Will you really forgive me? I,, I can't live peacefully after I realized what I did to you, I can't live peacefully seeing you're living like this."

I'm just staring at the window, I don't want to look at her. I was the one who asked her to come, but suddenly, I became a coward, I feel like I don't want to talk to her, I don't want to see her, I want to tell her to go but my mouth can't even move.

"Did you.... really mean it??" I asked her in a very low tone.

"Of course, I swear I couldn't live well, I keep thinking about my stupid mistakes in the past. I... I'm sorry for hurting you,, I know you can never forget it, but I......"

"Geumanhae......." I told her to stop, I knew it would be like this.

I feel few drops of cold sweats are dropping down to my face, I can't even count how many of it, it feels like I'm soaked in the cold rain. I cry,, I shouldn't cry, stop it Bomi, don't cry, in front of her..

"Jebal Bbom-ah, jebal... Give me a chance... ".

"Stop it..." I told to myself to stop crying, I told her to stop talking too, I close my eyes as I feel a headache so much, I feel like my head is spinning too fast.

"Please,,, forgive me,, jebal..."

"I said stop...!!!!" I snapped at her unconciously.

"Wae?? Why u keep telling me to stop.?...." She's crying too.

"...Didn't you want me to come to talk? Why now u're telling me to stop?! What should I do Bbom-ah? What should I do so that you will forgive me??" She keeps forcing me to speak, I can't,, I can't.

I shook my heads many times, as a sign that I don't want to talk, I don't want to do it, I was wrong, I couldn't be strong enough to face this.

"Talk to me, Come on?? I just need your forgiveness, tell me what should I do? Tell