Days flew by quite quickly. Not only did conversations shortened between Lisa and me, but Jisoo hasn't been talking to me a lot either. I'm pretty sure Jennie's starting to notice something odd happening between us. She won't be too happy if the beans are spilled, I just know it. Food hasn't been doing quite well for me lately as I was too depressed to eat anything that was nutritious and I was on my period, so ya know, just having those days.

One night, I stayed up late all snuggled up in my bed. I had to give myself a break from everything and sort out the things that I didn't have time to think over because I had such little time to do so. The ceiling was pale and yellow. It's supposed to be the feeling of happiness and hopefulness, that could explode under the surface of your skin at any moment. It’s the representation of laughter and the sense of joy. It’s the warmth of the summer sun dancing across your bare skin and the laugh on a little baby's face, experiencing the world anew. It's supposed to make me feel those ways, but instead, I felt the opposite very much. Maybe it'll feel like that in the morning, but I doubt it. Now with the darkness, it's just a dull yellow. It made me think caution, sickness, and jealousy. This wasn't making me feel any better as thoughts washed through my mind.

I decided to get some milk from the fridge outside in the kitchen. It was like 2am. I've been so tired the past few days that I felt bags under my eyes start to emerge, but it was just my imagination. It took me literally 3 minutes to get my slipper boots on because I felt so exhausted. My whole appearance probably looked like a zombie. Pffft who cares, it's not like anyone's gonna see me. I walked out carefully not to disturb anyone with my back slouched and with my feet dragging me over to the kitchen. "EhhhOW!" I shouted like a retard in the dark, as I stubbed my pinky toe on the corner of a table leg. We all know how that feels. My eyes shot open making me feel wide awake and covered my mouth darting with my eyes here and there to see if anyone came even though I c