Chapter 24

Areum POV

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It’s nearly 1:30 pm and I have been laying awake in my bed for hours. I couldn’t fall asleep yesterday and had a terrible night. For the last couple of hours, I’ve been having a staring contest with the right corner of my ceiling.

I have been thinking.

Probably a little too much.

What have I done for everything to get so twisted and turned this way? I know that I’m not the nicest person out there, but did all my snappy remarks and bad attitude come back to bite me in the back like this?

Everything is ruined, my friendships, relationships, and the person I loved the most is now gone, and I will never be able to see her again.

I always had a strong liking for my grandma ever since I was a newborn baby. My aunties would tell me that when I was crying uncontrollably, Grandma would always know how to calm me down immediately. I don’t remember much from my toddler days, but memories of Grandma making me laugh and playing around with me are still prominent in my mind.

As I grew older I began to realize just how much my grandma and I were alike, Although, she never talked about her having a troubled past, she always knew how to deal with my situations and constantly liked the things I enjoyed, and always agreed with my point of view.

When I did things that were wrong my mother would scold me. Grandma would always get mad with the way she disciplined me and took the situation into her own hands by calmly explaining to me what was wrong and right.

When I first entered my teenaged years, I changed a lot. I became a lot more emotional, sensitive, and focused much more on my looks and boys. I was loud and enjoyed attention. Hana became more mature and stayed her shy quiet self and I never heard the end of it.

I turned into the typical teenager and my mom would always complain about my actions. We had once gotten into such a heated argument, she yelled saying that why I couldn’t be like my sister. My grandma had happened to be visiting my house at the time and heard what my mother had said.

I had never seen her so mad before. She raged at my mom for the things she said to me. My mom was so surprised she didn’t have the courage to say anything back. After she yelled at her, she crouched down to my height and said to me words that I still haven’t forgotten today.

“Your beautiful just the way you are Areum, never change.”

The look of gratitude she had was so genuine, I can remember exactly the way her lips curled when she smiled and how her eyes smiled as well.

During my emotional breakdowns I often called my grandma and told her about the trivial middle school drama I was dealing with, and even though it was just nonsense she never tried to cut the conversation short or tell me that this was ridiculous. She listened attentively and would tell me what she thought.

Now that I think about it, grandma probably saw herself in me many times.

It’s like she was watching herself grow up again. That’s why she always dealt with my situation well. Knowing what the right reaction was and what words to say. She knew I was different from my siblings and would watch our interactions with noble eyes.

She always knew how to make me feel better and I had truly all my life, had always felt so unconditionally loved when I was with her.

~10 years ago,~

My mom told me that we were going to visit Grandma today because she got a new house! I told her that she should paint the walls purple because that’s my favourite colour! I really hope she painted it that colour because I even wore my favorite purple dress!

“Okay girls we’re here”

I am moving my head back and forth because I like my the way my pigtails swing back and forth!

“Areum, your going to get dizzy if you keep doing that!

Donghyuk shakes his head at me while he unbuckles my seat belt on the car seat.

“Hm! No, I won’t!”

“Yes, you will.”

“No!”

I stick my tongue out at him and run towards the door laughing. Not looking where I was going, I trip over a rock and my bare legs hit the concrete hard.

Tears blur my vision and I begin to cry, I didn’t even notice the front door of the house opening.

“Oh Areum honey!” My grandma cries out and scoops me into her arms.

She pulls my hands from my eyes and wipes my tears for me.

“Areum, I have a surprise for you!”

I sniffle.

“W-what?”

“Do you want to see it?”

“Y-yes!”

“Okay close your eyes!”

I close my eyes and open them a few seconds later, and Grandma notices.

“Hey! You can’t open them yet!”

I giggle and close them again. We walk for a little bit more then she stops.

“Okay Areum Open your eyes!”

I look around and start clapping in joy! The walls are purple! Grandma painted the walls purple!

“Grandma! The walls are purple!”

“Yes honey, do you know why I did that?”

“Because purple is my favourite colour?”

“Yes, but there is a bigger reason.”

“What is it grandma?”

“I painted the walls this colour, so I can always think of you Areum, anywhere in this house, I will be reminded of you.”

I give her a big toothy smile and she hugs me tight.

“I love you pumpkin.”

“I love you to grandma!”

A sad smile and tears roll down my face as I recall that moment we had shared years ago.

I feel like a mess and force myself to get out of bed. The sun wasn’t shining through the creek of my blinds like it usually does. Instead I hear the sounds of rain smacking against my window and the harsh winds blowing the trees.

I wince when I look at my clock and realise that it’s now almost 2 o’clock. I have been laying in bed for hours and really need to get up.

I soullessly walk around my house. I refresh myself in the bathroom then head towards the kitchen and smell a nice odor.

I’m not surprised when I see Eunseo’s, Jisoo’s and Mi-Hee’s moms in the kitchen. They’re all very focused on the cooking ahead of them.

Jisoo’s mom turns her head and her face turns into a great look of sympathy once she sees she.

“Oh Areum!”
She walks over and gives me a big hug, rubbing my back. The other moms notice my entrance and come to comfort me as well.

“We just wanted to help out your mom today, so we made breakfast.”

I glance at the table filled with delicious smelling food. I’m not that hungry, but I know the moms aren’t going to let me go without properly eating.

“C’mon honey, take a seat the foods almost ready.”

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I was thankful for the moms coming to make breakfast and accompany my mom. If they didn’t make food, then I probably wouldn’t have eaten at all.

My day has been going by slow and painful. I haven’t really left the room much. My hair is a tangled mess and my room is a disaster.

Knock, knock, knock,

“Who’s there?”

“It’s Mina, can I come in?”

Slowly, the door opens and there stands Mina. She dressed nicely and shes holding a plastic bag with contents I can't see.

I watch as she takes a quick glance around my room. Her eyes slightly widen as she sees how messed up everything is, including me.

“A-areum.”

For some reason seeing her makes tears come to my eyes again. She quickly comes to my side and gives me a heartfelt hug. Her presence is comforting and I’m happy she’s here.

She pulls back and stares at me, clearing she speaks in a strong voice.

“Areum, I think it would be a good idea for you to go shower.”

I don’t answer her and she speaks again.

“C’mon, take a nice long bath, relax and I will be here when you get out, you will feel much more refreshed, I promise!”

Slowly I get up and grab the robe hanging from my door.

“Take you time okay Areum!”

“Okay Mina.”

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Mina was right about the shower, it really helped me to relax. I felt slightly bad because I took quite long. I stare at my reflection in the mirror and smile slightly.

I look much better. My crazy knotted hair was now tamed and straight, and my body was fresh and clean. I put my sweater on and slowly open the door and walk down the hallway into my room.

I gasp.

My room was clean, not a piece of garbage or clothing on the floor to be found. The curtains were pulled apart and the window was slightly open for some fresh air. The bed that had its sheets tousled was now neatly made and Mina was sitting on the floor with a blanket that had different types of fruits and sweets placed on top in bowls.

Her gesture was to nice and I can’t help but smile. She notices me and waves me over to sit down.

“C’mon Areum! Sit down!”

Once I sit she starts explaining to me all the food that’s on the blanket.

“So I realised you probably haven’t been eating well so there’s a lot of fruits I brought, I also got some chocolate chip cookies, because those are always good! Now eat up!”

My heart warms and her kind actions, Truthfully, I was hungry, and I dig into the fresh assortment of fruits.

“Thank you, Mina,”

“Don’t thank me, you deserve this much Areum after everything that was happened.”

The next hour was spent with Mina cheering me up and she did a great job. I got my mind off of things for a while and managed to spend a good time with her.

I watch as Mina glances at her watch and eyes widen slightly. “Oh, I’m sorry Areum but I have to go!”

“Don’t be sorry Mina, what you did today was very nice! Thanks for stopping by!”

She gives me a tight hug then rushes to get her stuff and leave the room.

“Bye Areum!”

“Bye!”

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People have been coming all day to come and visit my parents. The funeral is approaching soon, and I decided I want to say a speech. The noise coming from downstairs is loud, and even though my room is now clean, I still don’t want to be in here.

I change from my pajama pants to a pair of black sweats, grab a notebook, pen, my phone and I leave through my bedroom window. When I was younger I always used to sneak out like this to hangout with friends at night. So now, I have mastered the art.

I take a small jump and land steadily on the ground. It’s dark out and to be honest, I don’t know where I am going.

So I just go straight.

I pass by streets I don’t recognize and houses I haven’t seen before. The slight darkness has turned into night time and where I am going is getting harder to see.

I notice a trail surrounded by trees and a small bench and walk towards it. The bench is old and the paint is chipped in many places. I sit on the side and lean my body over, cuddling into my sweater. It isn’t cold outside but I’m still shivering.

I place the notebook and pen on my lap and stare at the empty clean piece of paper. Numerous thoughts run through my head and I can’t decide on what to write.

I glance up and watch as the night sky glistens, the stars are shining bright tonight. Grandma had always loved stars and would tell me about all the different constellations. The stars bring me a surprising comfort, as if she was here with me, and just like that I know what to write.

I steady the pen into my hands and bring the paper close to face. A single tear falls and makes a wet spot on the bottom part of the page. I close my eyes and take a deep breath.

Inhale, exhale

I write the name the name that means the most to me.

Kim-Eun Jung,

Dear Grandma,

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