The Past
The Real MeJi Wook was rooted at the spot.
Was she really in front of him right now? That girl he almost died for? The girl whom he felt so much guilt about when he realized he didn't love her like she did to him? The one he had left in Barcelona when she bid him goodbye.
"Anna."
The crack in his voice reflected the turmoil of emotions inside of him. It's been years, but she still looked the same or even better; that angelic model that blew everyone's breath away with her sweet smile and sweet childlike personality.
"It's been a long while." her voice, as clear as sky, seemed so lonely.
"Prosecutor No." he flinched when Bong Hee's voice registered in his mind. He almost panicked even though he didn't understand why.
"I'm sorry Bong Hee-yah." he wets his lips and turns to her. "Could you go on ahead for today?"
She stares at him in question and then at Anna, then back to him before she nodded hesitantly. "Okay, i'll take my car." she glanced at him in worry for the last time before going to the parking lot.
Ji Wook cleared his throat before inviting Anna inside. He sent a quick text to Mr. Bang, informing him that he'll be late and probably take half-day later; good thing he didn't have any trials today.
Anna let her eyes roam around the house, curious as to how he lived while he prepares her a juice. The house was big and spacious and felt really cozy for some reason, a strange ambiance for a man supposedly living alone.
"Here." he hands her the glass and gestured for her to sit at the sofa before he did.
The silence that followed was unsettling. She had something in her mind that was bothering her and it was obvious to him. She was holding the glass in between her palms and a finger was constantly rubbing the tip. He could always read her like an open book.
He unconsciously hunched over and leaned his arms on his legs, clasping his hands in front of him. When she finally looked up, he gives her a gentle and assuring gaze, slowly coaxing her to open up to him. It was an automatic reaction, she always needed an assurance before she said anything to anyone. He needed to make her feel that he can protect her and she could trust him. All his movements were somehow like a reflex and he didn't feel like his normal self.
"Je H--"
"It's Ji Wook, Anna.......No Ji Wook."
His correction made her widen her eyes slightly and she blinked. "Ji Wook." the name somehow felt foreign in her lips. She stares at him in silent question.
"Yes, it's my real name."
She smiles at the discovery. "I guess....nice to finally know you, Mr. No Ji Wook."
Her sudden formality took him by surprise but he didn't show it. He was used to her intimate referral to him, calling him "Je Ha-yah" for such a long time ago.
"So what brings you here?" he figured it was really easy for her to find him, knowing the capabilities of those working under her.
"Je--.....Ji Wook." she bit her lip as she contemplated on what to say. "Can you be....my person again?"
His breath was caught in his throat as if he was choking on air, the sudden question throwing him off. He looked at her in confusion, willing her to explain to him further so he could understand.
Her eyes were quickly becoming red with her held back tears. "I've never been the same.....the memories, the deaths, the gunshots, dad.....i'm clinically depressed." the tears were slowly trickling down her cheeks as though she gave up on holding them back.
"In those times that i was lost, i thought of you and it always brought me relief. I know this is really sudden and out of nowhere and you already have a new life but..." her words were fast and she had to catch her breath as she sobbed. "i love you."
Ji Wook went to her side and hugged her, offering his comfort as her body trembled. She must've suffered so much. He took the chance she gave him and left immediately back then, not even making sure that she was okay after all she had gone through.
"I'm sorry."
Anna gripped on his arm as she sobbed. "i didn't really wanna do this....i didn't wanna be a burden to you or to anyone.....i tried hard not to go to you after all those years but it's all just too much...."
He gave her a reassuring hold. "I understand." guilt filled his whole being and he didn't know what to do. "Have you tried to ask for medical help?"
She shook her head like a child ,"I'm scared...."
"There's nothing to be afraid of."
"They will see my weakness."
"Getting help is showing strength, Anna."
"As long as you're with me-"
"Anna." he cut her off. She was in denial again, it was her defense mechanism and she needed to stop. "You don't love me."
"No! I do love you!" she stares at his eyes, begging him to understand.
"You only need me...and for the wrong reasons...i am not your pillar Anna. You are your own pillar. I was the one who saved you countless times and protected you before, that's why you unconsciously linked me to something that gives you safety and comfort. I was only there to help you stand up on your own." he pulled away and looked at her in the eyes, needing her to understand herself.
"I know you are strong Anna, you don't need to depend on anyone to stand up. I've always believed in you, that's why i could leave in peace back then in Barcelona."
Her eyes were b with tears, his words suddenly felt heavy, but unlike before when it was full of desperation and confusion, it was now filled with something else. Something that assured him.
She laughed in embarassment as she wiped away her tears and pulled away from him. "Y-You're probably right." she sniffed and straightened herself. "No, you are right. The others kept treating me so gently, like i would break anytime. No one had the guts to smack me with reality, thinking that i won't be able to handle it." She stood up and attempted to erase the mess that her tears had become. "It won't be easy....i can't change overnight.. I might disturb you again so i'm apologizing in advance."
He didn't like seeing her so downcast after showing her determination. "It's okay, i will never see you as a disturbance. I'll help in anyway i can Anna."
Her smile, although still tainted with a bit of sadness, offered him assurance and he accompanied her towards the gate. He had offered to take her home but her driver was waiting outside.
"Thank you Je--Ji Wook. Sorry." she weakly laughed. "it's a little hard to get used to."
He smiled in response. "It's okay."
The muffled sound of an engine starting made them both turn towards her car. She gave him a hug and apologized again.
Gomaweo.
She mouthed the words when she rolled down the car window as they moved forward, taking with her the last of her tears.
Ji Wook sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. He was glad that she seemed better but she left him all messed up.
When did he start wearing Je Ha's mask?
.
"i love you."
Bong Hee heard the girl say and saw him hug her before she decided that it was her cue to go out. She didn't know if she could take it if she sees them being more affectionate. Contrary to what they knew, she actually didn't go to her car. She waited and stealthily went inside the house after they did, curiousity getting the best of her.
That girl called "Anna" was obviously his previous lover. Why didn't she ever thought that a man like Ji Wook would have a past love?
Her heart ached at the thought. Did he accept her back? What now? What's her place in between the two of them? Should she leave?
The realization that Ji Wook didn't confirm anything about their relationship hit her hard. She had no title to hold on to.
Before she knew it, tears were trickling down her cheeks and she wiped them away furiously before finally going to her car and starting up the engine.
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