Ji Wook woke up with a jolt, his breathing ragged and body full of sweat.

He draws a shaky breath and rubs his face and neck to remove the sweat before he notices that his eyes were watery. Had he cried again in his dreams? When did he become such a crybaby?

He sighed and stood up, making his way to the bathroom and seeing his bloodshot eyes in grimace. Mr. Bang will get worried about him again once he sees how the dark circles under his eyes seems to have gotten much darker.

His insomnia got worse over the months since Bong Hee left and he quickly realized that it wasn't really the tea that helped him sleep better before, it was Bong Hee's presence. Now that she was gone and out of his life, he was back from scratch with double the nightmares.

Anna had visited him weeks after he refused to answer her calls when Bong Hee left. He felt guilty about everything and with big cases that was given to him so suddenly, he had been very busy and exhausted, both physically and emotionally.

She had apologized for whatever she said that drunk night, thinking that it was the reason why he avoided her and he decided to tell her about Bong Hee.

"Ji Wook.....why didn't you tell me sooner?" she had furrowed her eyebrows in worry. "I would've understood and not disturb you further."

"I know....i was just being stupid." he pinched the bridge of his nose and leaned heavily on the sofa. "i wanted to help you and i didn't think it would be a big deal. With all the things going on,i didn't notice that i had neglected her. After I talked to you that night, i was anxious and I...." he stopped before he could inflict further damage and avoided her eyes.

She sighed in understanding and bit her lip. "I'm really sorry Ji Wook.....i didn't mean to get in between the two of you and ruin everything."

"It's really not your fault Anna, it was me. I should've just told her everything."

She stared at his lonesome form. He was miserable. He looked miserable with regret and her heart constricted with a hint of jealousy. Did he ever suffer like this when they broke up too?

Anna sees his red rimmed eyes with unshed tears and she mentally scolded herself for being foolish. This man was clearly in love with that girl. It was nowhere the same with how he looked at her when they were together. His eyes were always so guarded and although gentle at times, he looked at her like how a guardian would, not of a lover. She took a breath to control her tears, having enough of pitying herself.

"You really love her don't you?"

His eyes focused on her and he answered with utmost assurance and adoration in his words that it nearly took her breath away. "Yeah i do.........i do love her. Much more than i thought." he was speaking as if that girl was somewhere in the room and he wanted to say it to her so badly.

She smiled solemnly, this man had lived such a rough and sad life as well. He must've thought that he didn't deserve anyone in his life. She was seeking medical help herself so what right did she have to give any advice on how to move on?

"You have to go after her, it's not too late."

"No...." he sighed in resignation. "It's too late Anna...."

She didn't understand what exactly is between them and what happened so she stayed silent till she decided that it was time to say goodbye. She was transferring to Barcelona and she actually just wanted to talk to him for the last time to apologize and say her farewells. He had wished her well and said his goodbye after the initial shock of her transfer.

Leaving with a heavy heart, she prayed that everything will become better for him.

.

It's been two years.

Ji Wook drank the glass that Mr. Bang filled with soju in one shot, grimacing at the bitterness. At least, it wasn't as bitter as the insomnia tea which he still drank despite it not working for him anymore. Alcohol was the only solution he could rely on in order to sleep lately.

"Prosecutor No, you've had three bottles already. You don't even finish off one bottle before." Mr. Bang commented with worry. The prosecutor wasn't originally fond of drinking but he had invited him before to lessen his stress which turned out to be a very bad idea when Ji Wook started drinking on a weekly basis.

They were currently at a pocha near the Prosecutor's office. Ji Wook invited Mr. Bang for a very "short" drinking session, to which the older raised his eyebrows with. They never had such short events after all.

"Don't worry." he smiled sheepishly. "I don't get drunk so easily. I'm not like her." his smile slowly vanished when the thought of her suddenly entered his mind. He didn't even have the nerve to say her name for such a long time already.

He really didn't expect that he would still be this bothered and depressed for two long years. It was high time for him to move on but he found himself being stuck in the same spot over and over again. He looked for her presence everywhere in his house and for the first time, he had felt so alone. He refused to remove anything in her room, even the things she left behind, and he would sometimes just stare at her room and stand at the door; reliving her memories like an idiot. He wasn't sure if he was this messed up when Young Shin died or even worse.

He had made up his mind. He didn't want to hurt anyone anymore. Not only was his past very complicated and violent, he doesn't know if Bong Hee could accept him once she knows. He had been keeping such a huge secret after all....but the extreme longing was always there, buzzing in the deepest part of him, making itself known every. single. day.

Ji Wook had actually seen a glimpse of Bong Hee a few times over the years. Once, he saw her months after she had moved out. He had actually been very worried where she would be living given that she had just suddenly moved out of his house but he figured that she must've gone home to her mother although it was far away. It was certainly easy for him to confirm and to know where she lived but he didn't want to stalk her. He didn't know if he could resist approaching her if he does.

He was about to get off his car at the office one day when he saw her walking towards the office as well together with a man. He thought he was gonna have a heart attack the moment he layed his eyes on her. She was still very beautiful with her vibrant smile as she talked animatedly with her companion. He distinctly remembered how his chest suddenly tightened with longing for her. He was relieved that she was well yet he was sad that she had moved on from him so quickly.

His jaw grew taut when he recognized the man with her, Attorney Ji Eun Hyuk. The man was his classmate during law school and they were actually pretty close when they suddenly got distant after Eun Hyuk knew that the girl he was courting was in love with him and everything got too awkward. It wasn't his fault that the girl liked him, he didn't even know her personally.

If he remembers correctly, Eun Hyuk worked under Mr. Byun. Ji Wook automatically assumed that Bong Hee was under him for her last internship. So that's why he hadn't seen her as an intern for the public attorneys even though he was constantly peeking in the attorney offices to check if she was there.

He laughed at himself without amusement as he followed them and discovered her watching Eun Hyuk during a trial. He had been in that place before, in the court where she would listen to him as he proudly did his work and she would look at him with admiration in her eyes. Eun Hyuk had somehow taken his place now and it was painful to look at that he went away not long after.

After that, he had seen her again when she went to the building for her mock trials and bar exam. He remembered how he had followed her right after her exams,muttering to a flabbergasted Mr. Bang that he'll be going somewhere for a short snack break. She was walking slowly with her back hunched, looking as though she was very anxious with her exam and he let out a smile. She didn't need to worry, he knew she'd do well.

Each step she took, he mirrored her as he walked across the road, glancing at her from time to time. He took each step with a smile, his heart bursting with love as he gazes at her contently from afar. Just like that, even though they were on opposite roads, he felt as though they were walking together, like they always did long ago. It was more than he could ask for and he felt like he could live a few more days again.

Good thing that Mr. Byun had casually told him about this female intern they had that looked really familiar and she was now working under his firm as a defense attorney. He smiled at the discovery, amused at the mere coincidence of the old man mentioning her. He celebrated on his own, cooking her favorite food at home and talking to the air. "Congratulations on passing the bar exams, Bong Hee-yah."

He had never been so proud.

And he had never been so depressed.

Wasn't there a limit as to how much loneliness a person could have?

"Prosecutor No." Mr. Bang shook him and his eyes flew open. He didn't notice he had been so lost in his thoughts that he nearly fell asleep.

"Sorry Mr. Bang."

~I try to live without you,
But it's not as easy as to stop drinking coffee,
When i open my eyes,
I'll remember you again.

Perhaps it's like this, I'm addicted to you.
If i can't see you for one day,
I can't stand it.~

Ji Wook furrowed his eyebrows. He tried to ignore it as he chewed on the meat they had but the song the lonesome man was playing on his phone was loud to hear even though he was two tables away.

And he grew more annoyed when the lyrics seem to speak to him, as if rubbing salt to his wounds.

~i love you and i have no regrets,
Even though i don't say a word,
How could i forget you?
When my heart is still full of tears.

I love you even if you're not there,
Even if you're gone, even if it's hopeless,
Because i miss you,
I would never blame you~

He gritted his teeth as the words spoke to him in volumes and made his evening worse. Never in his life would he imagine that he would relate himself to a song. He wanted to throw that offending phone away if it wasn't a hassle dealing with the owner. If the guy wanted to be sentimental with his love life, couldn't he just listen to the song with earphones?

Ji Wook told Mr. Bang that they should go home as he quickly paid for their orders.

When he arrived, he lied on his bed after loosening his tie and covered his eyes with his arm, not even bothering to take off his clothes as he was too tired from everything. He sighed heavily as his arm started to get wet from his eyes.

The memories were sometimes too much for him.

"I miss you......Bong Hee."

.

A few days after, Ji Wook didn't know whether he should be ecstatic that he's finally seeing Bong Hee face to face, or whether he should be horrified that she was standing opposite him as the defense attorney for the suspect.

Either way, it was only a matter of time before they finally meet at opposite ends.

His heart constricted.

He couldn't keep his eyes off her even before the case started. She looked healthy, her cheeks a bit plump, her usually messy hair in a pretty half-bun, her long lashes covering those bright eyes as she had her head down while reviewing documents, and her luscious lips tinted with colored gloss. He wets his lips unconciously, gaze focused as he sees her biting her bottom lip in deep thought and the memory of having those lips on his flashed in his mind.

Two years and the effect she had on him was still this strong.

She doesn't even seemed surprised that he was the Prosecutor-in-charge of this case and she faced him head on with her determined eyes. He briefly wondered if he saw a hint of sadness and vulnerability in those bright orbs of hers for a moment but he quickly dismissed the thought.

The client she defended was accused of . He had evidences to prove that the guy was guilty but she had argued that some of it were only circumstantial evidences and could not be used to rule out other possibilities that makes the suspect innocent. She gave out her client's alibi and also supporting evidences to prove it.

Her confidence was unnerving. Bong Hee had learned and grown as a lawyer exceptionally and it made him very happy, no matter how it was actually bad for his case right now. It didn't help that he was constantly distracted with her voice that he missed so much.

When they finished the trial after what seemed like hours, he found himself running towards her when she came out of the court room.

"Bong Hee-yah!"

The words somehow felt weird. It had been too long. When did he even start calling her so intimately before?

She took a deep breath before facing him with a straight face. "Yes?"

Ahh, just one word was enough to make him weak in the knees. She was talking to him directly right now. Not like in the court when she avoided his eyes as much as she can and only spoke towards the judge. He longed to talk to her for so long and for it to be actually happening right now was filling his heart with so much happiness.

"Uhh.....can we talk?" he stuttered the question. He wanted to slap himself, he didn't actually know what he wanted to talk to her about! All his actions were out of his control, like his whole being just wanted to be with her longer and he couldn't resist.

She made a move to look at her watch and smiled awkwardly. "I'm sorry Prosecutor-nim. I'm really busy, i have to meet up with another client." she quickly turned from him before he could say anything and he could only stare at her back as she hurriedly walked towards the corridor.

If he wasn't mistaken, he sees her wiping away a tear before she turned the corner.

-----------------------------------

NOTE: I'm so bad with these law cases seriously. Please pardon me if i make mistakes (╥_╥) i have no background whatsoever in the legal field.

The song Ji Wook was irritated with is Kim Joong Kook's "Addiction" LMAO. I cried when i first heard it, such a beautiful sorrowful song. It's the perfect drama OST actually ●︿●

Here's the most recent he sang it, with AKMU's Lee Su Hyun, please listen to it if you have time ^^