“I don't know why. But when I look in your eyes. I felt something that seems so right...I think I'm losing my mind. 'Cause I shouldn't feel this way. Catch me, I'm falling for you. And I don't know what to do. How can something so wrong. Feel so right all along. Catch me, I'm falling for you. How can time be so wrong? For love to come along. Catch me, I'm falling for you.” —Catch Me I'm Falling By Toni Gonzaga

 

Jaejoong was distracted the morning after his late night swim by all of his unnerving reactions to Yunho.

 

During breakfast, which he had with his family every Saturday mornings, because that’s the only morning all of them could make time to sit down together—any other mornings they were rushing to get ready—the events played like a film in his head. Repeating over and over again

 

It had been Jaejoong’s dad turn to cook. His efforts was awarded with warm smiles and a lot of ‘thanks poppa. This is really good.’ He was not a good cook and had made something simple, and that morning it tasted good. Everyone was pleased and thankful.

 

The teenage boy was deeply lost within his thoughts and seeing events passed that he didn’t converse much with the rest of his family, humming when a response was dictated from him. He even missed his older siblings antics. His sister teased his eleven year old brother over his weight gain all through breakfast with Seungjun periodically joining in when he was not talking to their parents in his quiet serious tone.

 

Moonbok had gained weight, but it was pure muscle. However, the poor boy was frightened.

 

His periodical weigh—in was soon and if he was deemed to be harboring too much fat by the physician he would be reprimanded harshly by his trainers and be put on a horrid diet; Anyone who had ever been on one can vouch for how terrible the whole matter was. However, the diet did do its job in scarring them into never being over or underweight.

 

At eleven, Moonbok had been going to more camping events. He seemed to enjoy them, unlike his older brother Jaejoong who couldn't help but remember his own retreats in disgust. And the constant physical activities has been whipping him into the customary physique of the citizens of Peyisivil.

 

Jaejoong regarded those Youth Club trips as nothing more than torture. Putting a group of barely critical male preteens together was the perfect recipe for disaster; the state seemed to enjoy disasters.

 

Nonetheless, during those retreats, Jaejoong found himself in every sense of the word and it seemed his baby brother was doing the same thing, too. He was becoming more mature.

 

Moonbok was growing fast. Too fast for Jaejoong who had a bit of a brother complex.

 

He just could remember when Moonbok was a baby and it was difficult for him to not see the smart mouthed eleven year old as more than just a slobbering eight month old with the most adorable smile.

 

Moonbok was the spitting image of their father, therefore in pictures of just him, his father, and Seungjun, it looked like the same person at different age and life stage. It was an interesting sight.

 

Lieah and Jaejoong were the two of the four siblings who resembled their mother the most, from the tilt of the corner of their eyes, shape and thickness and pigmentation of their lips, to even their physiques.

 

Lieah picked up on Jaejoong’s mood, but wait after breakfast to talk to him.

 

Yelling at him to come into her room as he walked by her opened door, Jaejoong stopped and walked in.

 

“Yes?”

 

She resumed her morning preparation.

 

Lieah was a pretty girl. She was as pale as Jaejoong, though she got much more sun as a youth trainer and organizer, and was athletic, though short. She was in fact the shortest, other than fast-growing Moonbok, in the family. Her thick bob had grown into long, dark shiny opaque strands that framed her oval face and made her large brown eyes jump out. More than beautiful she was adorable.

 

Smearing crimson on her plump lips, through her large mirror she connected gaze with her junior. “You okay?”

 

“What?” He was startled.

 

“You seem distracted. Are you…” She leaned back, lowering the hand with the lipstick. Her perfectly arched dark eyebrows dipped forward. “Are you being bullied?”

 

His eyes widened. “What? No!”

 

She sighed and resumed her activities. “That’s good. Because you know, if you are being teased I will go down there to the school and put them in their place.” She paused for split second to wink at him through her mirror.

 

“I am not being teased!” he shouted, face red.

 

She sniggered at his reaction.

 

Jaejoong was ostracised by his peers when he entered primary school, because he didn't look like them. He had not fit in their schema of male. The quiet, rather stoic Jaejoong was just as athletic as the rest of his age group, but he was pale and had delicate features and easily came to tears.Therefore, he had been written off as abnormal—weird. And one should never interact with the degenerates.

 

His sister had had to beat up a few kids, which made it worse because it got around he couldn’t fight his own fight and was a ‘sister boy.’

 

His classmates would giggle behind his back that all he knew to do was run to his sister.

 

And the bullying moved from verbal and physical to complete alienation.

 

It had been horrible.

 

Kids could be mean, and Jaejoong got to experience that first hand.

 

Everyday that Jaejoong had to go to school was torture.

 

The more he withdrew into himself, the testier Lieah got and the more of her brother’s classmate she would beat up.

 

His parents finally had to intervene. They talked to the school and Jaejoong’s classmate were severely punished—so was Lieah, because her methods were not approved—and Jaejoong finally became part of the group; he became invisible.

 

However, the biggest thing that changed during those years of primary school was that they all grew older and they learnt of the no bullying tolerance of their country, and Jaejoong learnt self defense and fighting skills from his Youth Club. By then, he had no need to use them because his classmates had already shifted their focus.

 

“I am fine. Really. Can I go now?” he asked, choleric and ashamed, his voice filled with flint.

 

“No.” Lieah sighed, leaning back.

 

Spinning around on her padded stool, she waved with her forefinger for him to come closer. Jaejoong did as instructed. He deeply respected his older sister.

 

“Seriously, what’s bothering you? During dinner last night you were extremely flustered, quiet, and distracted.”

 

She would be the one to pick up on his distress.

 

How was he supposed to express his turmoiled emotional state to her?

 

He didn’t have words for what shifted inside of him when he looked at Yunho.

 

He didn’t want to think about it, but he couldn’t forget the previous night: Yunho’s hand on his wrist and the way his lower belly dangerously dipped. Something that should not have, flipped within him.

 

“I am fine. Truly.” He squeezed his nape. “I am just tired from practice.”

 

“Aah. I see.” She nodded, skepticism filling her eyes.

 

“I am tired.”

 

Lieah got up and walked toward her younger brother and enveloped him in a citrus grove.

 

“It gets better.” She patted him on the back, squeezing him in her embrace. “The older you get the responsibility of preparing the festival lessens and you come to appreciate it all a bit more—I supposed.” She shrugged, spoken like a true twenty year old; an uncertain legal minor.

 

Stepping back, she rubbed his cheek lovingly. “I asked mother if we can take a family trip after this whole thing is over with, and she said she didn’t see why not. So, look forward to that as you practice hard.” She gave him a motherly smile.

 

“Thanks.” He grinned.

 

She stopped him from leaving with a warm hand on his shoulder. “Remember, if you have something bothering you, as your older sister it is my duty to help you out.” Her eyes were deep and thoughtful, though the laugh that punctuated the end of her sentence remained light and carefree.

 

“Thanks. I’ll think about blue ocean water, sea food, and mountain air when I have to sing the same song for the hundredth time.”

 

“Seriously, as your older sister you can come to me and count on me for anything. I might laugh a bit, but I will support you.” The change in Lieah’s tone made Jaejoong uncomfortable.

 

“Okay,” he croaked, his chest tightening.

 

“Good. Now let me finish getting ready.”

 

He looked at his wristwatch and declared, “And I must hurry, if I do not want to be yelled at by supervisor Choi.”

 

Laughing, she said while brushing her thick silky strands. “I remember those days. I am thankful to be an adult now.”

 

She went to his school only two years ago. That recollection reminded Jaejoong she might also know Yunho’s sister, who was the same age as her and had also gone to their school.

 

Shaking his head, he decided to not think about anything that had to do with Yunho.

 

Walking out, he quickly grabbed his stuff.

 

It is all admiration. What else could this muddling feeling be?

 

Jaejoong had spent the whole night trying to decide what category he should shove his feelings under. He settled on admiration. He was always lusting after people’s great figures, and Yunho had an amazing physique.

 

Given that he didn’t work out much, due to his duties as a music major, his body, though muscular and toned, was nothing compared to Yunho. He was a beast.

 

He made plans the previous night during his hour long session of mulling to either get his sister to train him after graduation or join the local gym, which was a great place to socialize, and Jaejoong could benefit from the added ‘practice’ of socialization.

 

Socializing was taught and encouraged at a very young age.

 

The first lesson children are given in Peyisivil covered teamwork.

 

Though they were all a bit different, they were taught that they are all equal and similar in all the fundamentals. That similarity created common grounds and made it easier and faster to work on things and that contributed to Peyisivil’s political standing in the world. Other countries were inferior because of their heterogenous ethnicity make up and that leads to constant internal battles.

 

Peyisivil was different. They were the same in all that mattered. They were superior.

 

They had the most intelligent students, as the national scores told them, and artistically endowed students from visual art to mastery of instruments, dancing, and singing. That was all possible because they worked together to make each other better, as well as Peyisivil.

 

Conformity was a must and a blessing.

 

Jaejoong didn’t want to be different.

 

Standing in front of his apartment door, the teenage male titled his head back, closed his eyes and drank in the sunlight.

 

Admiration.

 

The door creaked open behind him and his younger brother pushed him. “Get out of the way. I am late!”

 

“Hey!” Jaejoong screamed at the mouthy brat. “I am your older brother.”

 

Moonbok stared blankly up at him, putting his shoes on. “So?”

 

“Respect, please.”

 

“You were just standing there.”

 

Grinning, Jaejoong decided to tease the boy as he got up.

 

“The last thing you have to worry about is being late.”

 

Moonbok froze mid-lift of his upper body and sent his senior a crossed look. “What do you mean?”

 

“Weigh-in is next week for you, right?”

 

He blanched. “I hate you,” the eleven year old muttered and his heels to walk away but abruptly stopped and turned around, walked back to stand next to his brother.

 

Jaejoong realized how much taller Moonbok had gotten. It made his chest swell with pride and nostalgia.

 

“Have I really gained weight?” he whispered dejectedly. “I’ve been training hard,” he whined, on the brink of frustrated tears.

 

Ruffling his hair, Jaejoong laughed. “Don’t worry too much, you are a growing boy.”

 

“I hate you!” running away, Moonbok screamed when his brother didn't iron out his worries.

 

Cackling, Jaejoong placed his hands on his hips, jutted his lower body forward and inhaled and exhaled.

 

It was a great start to his morning.

 

Suppress. Laugh. And continue on laughing and suppressing.

 

You’ll be fine.

 

 

 

Jaejoong ruthlessly beat down his paradoxically mysterious and crystal clear feelings, hoping he killed it all. The moment he started believing in its demise, he stopped doubting his feelings of admiration for Yunho. The two got closer to each other and their friendship deepened.

 

Denial made everything so much better.

 

The summer heat felt as if it was melting them into messy puddles.

 

They worked hard and played equally as hard.

 

It was the first summer in Jaejoong’s life that felt eternal and he wanted it to last forever. It was as if they were trapped in the most glorious time of their lives.

 

"I've always wanted to be your friend," Yunho confessed, walking on Jaejoong's left side, hands up behind his head, locked fingers gripping his nape.

After a heart fluttering pause, Jaejoong slid him a look. "Ooh, really? Why didn't you talk to me sooner then?" There was no coy way he could ask the obvious.

Yunho grinned down at him, freeing one hand to pat the top of Jaejoong’s dark head.

Yunho’s touchy nature was the ban of the singer’s existence; Jaejoong wanted to be touched, but hated wanting the other male's tender touches.

 

Yunho made Jaejoong feel as if his reality was a paradox.

"You scared me!" he laughed, making Jaejoong scowl.

"Scared? Me? Scary?"

Yunho chuckled mouth closed, eyes dripping with mirth.

"Don't laugh at me!" Jaejoong’s snap lacked anger.

"There is a coldness to your beauty."

Another spike of heat low in his abdomen.

Not anger over being called beautiful, a word that would be appropriated to be directed at him from a male if he were a child, or it came out of the mouth of the opposite . But an indecent pleasure swirled within him over Yunho liking his aesthetics.

Jaejoong knew he should hate Yunho using such adjective to describe his looks. Yunho was male. But he didn’t.

Looking away from Yunho, Jaejoong cleared his dry throat and corrected half heartedly "Handsome."

Yunho extended his arm and wrapped it around his sulking friend's shoulders. "Jaejoong," he husked in a low register, and dared to lay his chin on the tip of Jaejoong’s shoulder.

 

Another spike of heat.

 

Who was he kidding? Jaejoong thought. He might as well admit and accept it.

 

Acceptance was the first healthy step towards letting go.

 

Jaejoong pushed Yunho off. Yunho laughed but kept his hold on the singer.

 

The laughter made his abdomen do acrobatics.

He pushed Yunho off again. Too hard that time around.

Yunho was not prepared for the movement. He tripped—arms searching for Jaejoong as he fell, smile frozen on his lips.

Jaejoong was too late in saving him.

 

The general landed on his muscular buttocks on the middle of the dark, deserted street.

Jaejoong covered his mouth in shock—sorry.

 

Before he could apologize, laughter bubbled to the surface at Yunho's expression of shock.

 

Yunho’s warning look and rapid utterance of “Don't” made it spilled over.

 

Jaejoong couldn't help it. Warm tears stung his eyelids

"Yunho, I am so—" he choked, trying his hardest to suppressed his laughter and apologize.

Yunho lifted his hands off the ground and pointed them toward Jaejoong.

Jaejoong who had given up and was laughing in abandon took a step back, weary of the quiet Yunho.

"Help me up!" he snapped.

 

Jaejoong could not see the general’s expression well and his tone was bland. Too bland.

 

The boy wondered if Yunho was angry.

 

He really did not mean to push him and was sorry.

Jaejoong shook his head, sobering. "You won't...do anything, right?" He demanded, cautious of the stoic teen.

Yunho shook his head, eyes clear.

"Promised?" Jaejoong asked, refusing to get closed to Yunho till he nodded.

"Okay." Jaejoong stepped back to stand in front of Yunho and clasped his fingers with his potentially angry friend's hard fingers and put all of his weight on his heels.

Jaejoong should not have trusted Yunho.

Before he could released Yunho's vine like death grip, he was tumbling toward him and he was smirking devilishly.

 

With part of his body on the ground and the rest padded by strong muscles, Jaejoong shouted at his cackling friend and lightly thumped his first on his chest. "Yunho!"

 

Jaejoong could not get angry when his ears were being filled with Yunho's thick burst of laughter, his nose so close to where Yunho's neck and shoulders met and his scent overpowering his senses.

 

"You promised," he mewled, lifting his head to look down at a beaming Yunho.

 

Jaejoong was trying to jostle laughing and pouting, which in turn made Yunho's smile grow wider.

Yunho rested a warm palm on Jaejoong's waist and squeeze there, the stream of laughter dried up.

 

Fire bloom there—blue and wild.

 

Yunho pushed his head back further. Noting how closed their faces were.

 

Distracted by Jaejoong’s soft pants, his eyes strayed to where they were being emitted. Jaejoong really did have nice lip.

 

As fast as the strange thought came Yunho looked as rapidly away. His eyes met Jaejoong in the swift movement, and for the first time Yunho felt slightly awkward.

 

It was as if he had done something wrong.
 

"Are we equal now? It was an accident, you know?" Jaejoong said, pulling Yunho's attention back to their situation.

 

Feeling the mood shifted, and rightfully awkward, Jaejoong slid his right leg in the alcove between Yunho's legs, the other pressing against the teen’s upper thigh, and lifted his lanky frame.

 

Jaejoong’s ears and the back of his neck was bright red.

 

He took a few steps away from Yunho who was still sitting in the street.

"Never," the general said, lifting his hands for Jaejoong to help him up.

"How can I trust you anymore?" The fair skinned teen teased, examining Yunho’s outstretched arms.

"I promised."

Standing above him, he crossed his arms over his chest, eyes glistening. "You also promised a while ago."

Yunho’s lips twitched in a sly grin. "I never said I promised." His tone challenged Jaejoong.

He was right, Jaejoong gasped. Yunho had nodded. Only nodded.

 

Jaejoong was stubborn. "A nod means yes. A universal law."

"I never promised, but now I have. Help me up. Please.” He employed a cute tone, knowing Jaejoong always found it cringe worthy, but funny, and he was weak against it.

"You are the worst," he muttered, sounding like a petulant child, but still bended over and hoisted Yunho up.

 

Too close.

They stood, chest touching with each exhalation, Yunho's fingers hot on his skin.

 

Yunho’s eyes skimmed over Jaejoong’s glorious lips. Especially the snape of his bottom lip. It was fascinating. A hot feeling slithered through him. Awkwardness, confusion, and shame all mixed together.

His heart fluttered when he looked up, finding Jaejoong’s luxurious eyes on him. Intently studying his face.

The mood changed. Electricity cackled.

 

Jaejoong took a step back to steady his balance.

 

“What?”

 

“Your lashes.”

 

“What about them.”

 

Yunho squeezed his fingers, cheeks lifting. Heat flared there.

 

“Let me finish. They are really long. I’ve never noticed.”

Jaejoong colored at his loud swallowing and thumping heart. He hope Yunho did not hear nor feel his humming pulse on his wrist.

“First it was my hairy legs, now it is my lashes. You have something for my body hair?”

 

Yunho’s grin was teasing and...bslightly flirtatious. “What if I do?”

Lowering his gaze, Jaejoong jumped further back, yanking his hands free with force. He now stood far away from the smirking male.

 

“I would say you are weird. Let’s go.” And he began walking away really fast. He was jogging before he knew it.

"Hey," Yunho called, frowning at Jaejoong’s. "I was only playing."

A stab of pain.

Yunho had not felt his world flipped a moment ago. Nothing happened for him. He had not felt nor experienced what he had. Jaejoong felt ashamed. Trying to turn his and Yunho’s pure, innocent friendly moment into something... more made him nauseated.

"My sensibilities are not that weak, Yunho!” He slowed down and looked back at his friend. “I just do not want to miss my train. Let's go. I am hungry."

 

“Okay.” Yunho mumbled. The mood chilling.

 

Scowling in confusion, Yunho walked silently behind Jaejoong.

 

What did he do, Yunho pondered? Wondering how he should apologize.

 

His eyes wandered to Jaejoong’s clenched fist.

 

Yunho thought they were getting closer—so he thought.

 

He hated how Jaejoong never shared any of his thoughts with him, especially when they concerned him.

 

The distance Jaejoong drew between them hurt, in light of Yunho's obvious affection for him and their friendship.

 

He wanted to get closer to Jaejoong.

 

The fact that they’ve not even been friends no longer than a month escaped Yunho. To him, it felt like they’ve know each other forever.

 

“I am sorry.” Yunho ran up to the shorter male and extended his hand to grip his backpack string. Slightly yanking Jaejoong back into a stop.

 

“Sorry.” Yunho muttered again.

 

Jaejoong flung his head up and his bitten lips parted. “What? No. You did nothing. Nothing is wrong.” He smiled. It was genuine. It transformed his face, and his sloe eyes, which appeared bottomless, shimmered. “Promise. I am just hungry and tired.”

 

“Okay. But, Jaejoong?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“We’re friends, right?”

 

He quickly bobbed his dark head. “Well, I hope so. Why?”

 

“Nothing. Just...I want us to be...close. Good friends.”

 

Jaejoong inhaled, pausing before concurring, “Me too.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Yes, Yunho.” His voice was firm.

 

Yunho flashed a boyish grin with none of its usual valour. “That's good.”

 

Jaejoong wondered if he miscalculated.

 

Did Yunho suspected he felt and thought abnormal things about him?

 

“I am being sincere, Yunho. I do appreciate your friendship.” Jaejoong told Yunho in alarm, voice earnest. It was Jaejoong’s turn to worry. “I want us to get close, too.”

 

Yunho snickered. “Jaejoong.” He made to touch him but stop midway, shook his head and decided to lower his hand and bump his shoulder against Jaejoong’s shoulder. “I believe you.”

 

The singer exhaled, relieved. “Thank you.”

 

“I see us being friends—forever.” Yunho’s voice regained its usual vibrancy. The usual youthful sugary happiness.

 

Jaejoong shoulders slumped in relief and heart clutched in an unnamed pain.

 

 

 

They went swimming in the creek again.

 

More people joined that time around because of the rumor that circulated about how wondrous last time had been. Everyone now wanted a piece of the action.

 

Jaejoong spent a great portion of the time sneaking secretive glances at Yunho. He could not get enough of him.

 

Deep inside, Jaejoong knew he did not have to be secretive. He could look at Yunho freely without shame. No one would be the wiser.

 

The ‘problem’ was all internal.

 

He was the one who did not want to look at Yunho, though his eyes alway betrayed his weakened will.

 

The singer watched his friend’s broad back, miles of warm golden skin and found the corner of his lips lifting into a tender smile.

 

Yunho was a sight with his dark head tilted back, laughter spilling from his throat, water rivulets down his back.

 

Jaejoong fingers tingled.

 

He wanted to trace the path of the silver droplets and trace Yunho’s wing bones and the ridge down his back.

 

A small flame crackled alive within him.

 

Holding his breath, the vocalist submerged under water long enough to forced his mind to become a white, blank slate.

 

Emerging, his eyes landed on the two best friends, Myungsoo and Sungyeol.

 

Jaejoong smiled against his will at Sungyeol’s shrieks of glee. He was being dragged by one leg through the water by a chortling Myungsoo.

 

Their friendship was cute, Jaejoong thought.

 

Unconsciously, his eyes strayed to Yunho and a hot flash of shame crashed onto him at the rather wishful thought that attacked him.

 

He frantically shook his head. How dare he thought that about the two friends.

 

They are normal. Pure friendship.

 

Jaejoong realized he had thought what he did because he did not want to be the only one. There was comfort in numbers.

 

Jaejoong took in the gray orb in the night sky through hooded lids. His wet lashes were spiky and clung together at the closed contact. They formed a jagged outline against the lustrous skin of his cheeks.

 

Studying the night sky gave Jaejoong enough subject matters to distract him. He began to softly hum his favorite song.

 

Yunho who had been captured by his friends managed to pull away from Changmin’s firm grip and swam over to Jaejoong. He missed him.

 

Yunho smiled when he saw him floating by himself, eyes closed. The girls had not been able to make that night. Hyein had made her disappointment known while Juhli looked at them with longing in her eyes when they waved their byes, her eyes stuck on Yunho and Jaejoong.

 

Yunho decided to spook Jaejoong.

 

Swimming closer to him, Yunho giggled in excitement.

 

Yunho paused before he does anything to look at his friend’s face—blank, smooth porcelain. Jaejoong’s parted lips appeared redder than usual.

 

Yunho had started to pick up on the fact that Jaejoong’s lips enthralled him. Why, he couldn’t say. All he knew was that his friend had nice lips. Perfect lips for...for kissing, he guessed.

 

Thinking about kissing, even if it was all due to the lips of a man, was a first for Yunho.

 

Yunho reasoned he was arriving at that age: The age most parents feared and dreaded, because romantic feelings sparked and teens begin dating, making the Listing difficult for everyone involved.

 

Yunho promised himself he would never be like that.

 

I am not.

 

He just found Jaejoong’s lips beautiful and nothing more. That was okay to think.

 

Coming back to reality, Yunho captured his smile and fit it on his face and decided to attack Jaejoong.

 

Sneaking behind Jaejoong, he startled the singer into a standing position and jumped on his back as he floated standing up in the water, acting like a koala.

 

“Yunho!”

 

Yunho squeezed him, chortling.

 

“What if my heart had stopped beating?” Jaejoong inhaled, exaggerating the process. He had been taken by surprise and his heart was beating faster than usual.

 

“It wouldn’t have.”

 

“But, what if?” He tried to twist around to look Yunho in the eyes.

 

Yunho shook his head and tightened his grip on him and lowered his cheek on Jaejoong slick shoulder. “I would be devastated.”

 

Yunho’s laughter was too loud to make Jaejoong see any sincerity or regret on his part.

 

“You are too heavy!” Jaejoong screeched, jostling his cackling friend.

 

Instead of being freed, he got pulled underwater by Yunho’s strong arms.

 

Laughing, Yunho released his legs from around his friend, but kept his arms around Jaejoong’s shoulders.

 

Yunho was abnormally hot. Jaejoong squirmed.

 

Squeezing his friend closer, the athletic teen whined in a cute voice, “I want to be carried. Please take care of me.”

 

His warm, damp breath hit Jaejoong’s ear shell, making goosebumps rose on his skin.

 

He tried to shake Yunho off, making him laugh. “No.”

 

“Please.” Yunho tried to slur his word, using baby intonation.

 

“You are not a child. You are too heavy for my weak frame.”

 

That was the first time in his life Jaejoong didn’t mind referring to himself as weak. It felt different with Yunho. He knew the much stronger male would not criticize him.

 

“Come on, Singer Kim, you are not that weak. What about all of these muscles?” He teased, gropping Jaejoong’s arm and chest, setting sparks of fire where he trailed.

 

Inhaling brokenly, Jaejoong rolled his eyes. “Stop acting like a big baby, and stop calling me Singer Kim.”

 

Yunho did something that made Jaejoong gasp loudly. Amidst the laughter, Yunho dipped his head and bit right where Jaejoong’s neck and shoulder connected, making him tilted his head to the side in shock.

 

“What are you doing!” the opaqued haired male shrirked in surprise.

 

They caught a few of their peers attention.

 

Yunho clung to Jaejoong harder, smile white. “Punishment. Plus, I am acting as babies do.” As he said that, he leaned forward, pushing his face right into Jaejoong’s, his grin crystal clear.

 

Jaejoong shook his head. Thankful for the cover of the darkness. His cheeks, ears, and neck were all burning. “You are a mess.”

 

“I’ll kiss it to make it better if it hurts.” Yunho winked, beaming.

 

“No!” Jaejoong snapped, heart galloping like a frightened runaway horse.

 

Cackling, Yunho leaned down and half kissed and where he’s bitten.

 

“Dude!”

 

Hissing, Jaejoong pushed Yunho off with all his strength and swam out. His heart was galloping in the cavity of his chest. His skin was tingling with fire, sizzling through his abdomen. It was as if he was being bitten by millions of fire ants.

 

He hated it.

 

Anger infused him. Jaejoong didn’t know at who it was directed. Himself or Yunho.

 

Yunho needed to stop playing all the time and listened to his no’s.

 

“Hey, do not be angry!” Yunho rushed after him, pleading.

 

“Listen,” he flipped to face Yunho. Trying to keep his calm, Jaejoong try saying in a leveled tone, “if you will have to apologize, don’t do it Yunho.”

 

Yunho extended a tan arm to grab Jaejoong wrist when he snapped, “Stop acting immature.” The hand flopped.

 

Yunho’s eyes dimmed.

 

Jaejoong found himself wishing he wouldn’t have such a visceral reaction to Yunho’s playful nature, but he could not find the courage to apologize to his hurt friend. Instead he turned around and huffed.

 

Yunho had mean nothing by it and Jaejoong knew that. But it didn't make it better. In fact, it made it worse, because it stung.

 

Everything Yunho did to him send him spiralling.

 

Yunho cautiously poke Jaejoong’s spine as he yanked his clothing on.

 

“I am really sorry.”

 

The pretty male shook him off. He was ready to stop feeling angry.

 

“I was only playing. If I knew it would have angered you like this—I promised I won’t ever do that to you again.” Nothing. “Please, do not be angry at me.”

 

Yunho sounded genuinely sorry and scared.

 

A warm weight coiled in Jaejoong’s chest over the power his reaction had on Yunho’s emotions.

 

Yunho hadn’t wanted to anger Jaejoong. He simply was being himself: His normal playful, touchy self.

 

Jaejoong usually put up with him. Patience was supposedly his strongest suit. Plus, he liked the touchy, loving, clingy Yunho.

 

The singer wondered if something was going on with him that night.

 

Inhaling he ceased his jerky hand movements and turned around to smile at a dejected Yunho. “I am sorry. I overreacted.”

 

The boy soaked his forgiveness up, his body relaxed instantly.

 

“No.” He quickly shook his head. “I was wrong.”

 

“No. I really did—do not mind you being...yourself.” He punctuated the end of his sentence with a short laugh. Ruffling his hair, Jaejoong sighed.

 

I am the mess.

 

Yunho had not like the thought of Jaejoong being angry at him.

 

Yunho was not used to an irritated Jaejoong. He didn’t like it. Especially if he was the because behind the irritation.

 

Since they’ve become friends, Jaejoong had gone along with him and his—he would readily admit—sometimes overbearing personality.

 

Yunho knew Jaejoong allowed him to rattle his ears of while he’d listened in his quiet attentive manner and did not tell him to stop talking or he was annoying. When in fact, he knew he was.

 

When he forced Jaejoong’s hands a few days prior and got him to stay after school to train with him simply because he wanted to spend more time with him, even though Yunho could see the tiredness in the singer’s eyes, the boy had not gotten angry.

 

Jaejoong was beyond a lovely human.

 

“You’re not angry anymore?” he posited desperately.

 

“I am not angry,” the pale male said running his hand through his wet strands, slicking his hair back, and looked up at Yunho with his lips slightly parted, huffing.

 

“I am glad. I do not like when you’re angry.”

 

“You’re the reason I am almost always angry,” he spat, lightly swatting Yunho on the belly.

 

Yunho acted hurt, wrapping his muscular arms around his hard belly.

 

He was really glad Jaejoong had forgiven him.

 

Yunho mewled cutely, “I hate making you angry. I’ll work harder to rein all of this in.” He meant his personality, but his hands framed his whole physique.

 

Jaejoong rolled his eyes as he laughed. “Dude, please stop.”

 

“You guys are already leaving?” A wet Changmin asked, startling the duo.

 

Jaejoong looked at the half Yunho.

 

He smiled at Jaejoong and nodded at his friend. “Yeah. but you guys stay and enjoy yourselves. Jaejoong and I will walk home first.”

 

Changmin shrugged with a disinterested expression. “Okay. Have fun.” He waved going back to his friends.

 

No one seemed to be ready to leave. The’ve all just arrived, an hour had not passed yet.

 

The two teenage boys left together and grabbed cooling, ice drinks on the way home.

 

“I never want this summer to end,” Yunho muttered around the straw in his mouth.

 

Jaejoong, who was walking so close to him that their shoulders kept on brushing, arched an eyebrow up at him. “I want it to end. I want to graduate already.”

 

And it was hot. Too hot.

 

Yunho laughed and reached out to ruffle Jaejoong’s drying hair.

 

“Keep the hand out of the hair.”

 

“I don’t want to. I love touching your hair. It is so soft!” He gushed, talking to Jaejoong as if he were a petulant child.

 

Yunho pawed at Jaejoong’s head again, not allowing him to evade his greedy fingers.

 

“Stop!” Jaejoong chuckled against his will and stepped away from Yunho, only for him to reach for Jaejoong’s arm and yanked him back to his side, eyes bright.

 

The moment felt so perfect.

 

Jaejoong’s stomach twisted, electricity shooting through him. He felt short of breath, but he could not look away.

 

Yunho looked away first, and freed his arm, falling in step next to Jaejoong.

 

Yunho cleared his throat.

 

That mood change he had felt. It was weird.

 

“You hair is really nice, though.” He added, breaking the tere silence. “It is like it is asking for my fingers.” Yunho grinned, tapping his shoulder against Jaejoong’s.

 

“Stop hitting me.”

 

“I am not hitting you.”

 

“If it feels like you are hitting me, you are hitting me.”

 

Yunho choke on his laugh.

 

“I will shave my hair.” Jaejoong breathed, patting his belly, where fluttering bugs were rummaging.

 

Yunho gasped. “No! What will I do with my fingers from now on?”

 

“What you did before you had my hair.”

 

“I was withering away.”

 

“Well, get ready to lose your fingers,” Jaejoong fired back, snorting down a chuckle.

 

“Let me touch those silky strands one last time.” Yunho smiled like a comical villain, and wiggled the fingers of his free hand—the other hand was holding his drink.

 

Though Jaejoong laughed, an intense need was twisting inside of him. He had never craved another's touch as much as he wanted Yunho to touch him that night.

 

The longing was quickly replaced with disgust and fear.

 

Jaejoong rejected Yunho’s offer and swatted his outstretched hand.

 

His refusal did not deter Yunho.

 

Jaejoong allowed the jubilant teen to catch him and dig his fingers through his hair.

 

Tendrils of something went down Jaejoong's spine. He bit his bottom lip to stop his quaking.

 

He wanted Yunho to never stop playing with his hair. Sadly, as soon as it began Yunho lifted his hand and slugged it around Jaejoong’s shoulder, and pulled him close to his side, enveloping him in a scent that was uniquely Yunho’s.

 

Slurping his drink, Yunho sighed loudly, long and deep. He was content to be where he was the moment, living in the same timespan as Jaejoong.

 

Changmin had asked Yunho in a joking manner two days ago, though underlined with seriousness, if he was discarding all of his friends in favor of Jaejoong. Yunho had replied in the same manner that, yes, he was. Though it all had been in good fun, Yunho couldn't help to wonder if he would choose Jaejoong if he had to.

 

The First Order general couldn't explain why he adored the singer as he did.

 

He just loved being with Jaejoong. Spending time with him, and seeing him smile, especially if he was the person behind it, made Yunho’s weeks.

 

Spitting out his straw, he said, looking down at his dark head, “Don't cut it.”

 

“Mate? Of course I won't.” Scoffing, Jaejoong stepped out of Yunho’s hot embrace. “Not over you, anyways.”

 

The smile Jaejoong twisted his lips in was what brought Yunho the greatest happiness lately.

 

“You are heartless.” Yunho tittered.

 

“You are a fast learner.”

 

They smiled into the darkness ahead of them

 

Chapter Ten Preview: Sunbeam Yunho graciously invite his friends to come have tea at his home; Yunho ponders the most serious question of his existence when he waits after practice to walk home with Jaejoong, even though he was hungry and tired—Jaejooong's presence rejuvenates him.

They all come together for the afternoon tea, which feels more like a lame small party than anything else. Hyein and Juhli acts as they've always done. Myungsoo is an extra, adorable mess. Poppi is amazing, as always. And Yunho is charming everyone and their mother—i.e., Jaejoong and his irrational heart. Sorry for poor preview.