“May the impertinence of my eyes be forgiven. They look at you just a little; and what my tongue longs to speak, that is what they tell you. May the bashfulness of my eyes be forgiven. My eyes fall away from yours; what my eyes couldn't say while looking into yours, that lowered gaze says for me. May the impertinence of my eyes be forgiven.”—Aankhon Ki Gustakhiyan - Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam

 

Time went by fast.

 

Before they knew it, there was only three weeks left to finalize the preparation for the festival. And they were the busiest they've been, perfecting everything. The last three weeks before the festival, all the school in the prefecture would meet and perfected the segment of the ceremony they would be doing together, such as the national anthem and the military marches.

 

The tension at Yunho’s home was melting with each passing day, allowing sunshine to peek through.

 

Forcing the thought of Hyeena’s demised to the back of his head, Yunho allowed his days to be filled with sunshine and happiness brought by the infinitely finite summer long burning days and short stifling nights.

 

They went back to the days prior to his sister’s ‘hiking trip.’

 

Summer was fiery red and timeless again.

 

Yunho was eighteen once more and his only worry was Jaejoong, his growing feelings for him that surpassed what he felt for his other, normal friends. Feelings that confused him due to their nature.

 

Jaejoong made him feel good. A ‘good’ no one have had ever made him feel. That's the only way he could succinctly put it. It was also feelings he did not want to look too deep into. Yunho liked things for the now and hated thinking too deeply about things that confused him—he believed everything would make sense in due time.

 

With the sun setting, the horizon softened with the stain of orange and subtle red, the students assembled in the school’s large courtyard as ordered by their supervisors. Normally they would be getting ready to head home for the day, however, they were standing in multiple rows of straight lines, facing forward, arms resting stiffly by their sides, awaiting the schoolmaster.

 

They did not have to wait long, because the woman soon appeared and announced in both excitement and trepidation that the decision had been made and their campus was the lucky one chosen for the Phoenix speech.

 

The supreme leader with the adjoining administration, who usually served twenty years in office, always chose one school as the place where she/he gives the Fire Festival final speech. It was an honor.

 

In preparation for the closing act, two speeches were made every day by one of the politicians, one to open the day's ceremony and one in the evening—the ‘opening and closing speeches.’ Those speeches were palatable, because they were short and sweet. The Phoenix speech lasts two hours. It was the most grueling part of the studious, festive celebration.

 

Breaths were lost as the schoolmaster gazed over the crowd of tan faces and wide brown eyes of all shades and hues.

 

The fear and excitement at the reality that the supreme leader would be coming to their school made the students teary eyed and made them trembled like a leaf in a tornado.

 

They did not feel lucky. Not at all.

 

Their preparations would be the one most focused on and discussed for weeks to come after the festival. Now, they would have to work much harder.

 

They all were expecting it when the next day, the time allotted for lunch break and water break was halved and the supervisors started demanding much more than anyone could give.

 

The students understood why everything had changed, however. The stakes were higher now.

 

There could not be a single error.

 

 

“Are you doing anything during Respite Week? That’s the only break we’ll get this summer.”

 

Jaejoong had been trying to down his food before lunch concluded when Juhli flipped around to talk to Yunho.

 

Jaejoong hated the fact that lunch had been shortened. His time with Yunho was being taken away.

 

Distracted, the singer swallowed wrong and that ensued into a coughing fit. Yunho smacked him on the back with one hand and gripped his bicep with the other.

 

“You okay?”

 

He nodded, face darkening a shade more. “Yeah.”

 

Jaejoong reached for his bottle of juice, opened it and took tiny sips. 

 

Appeased, Yunho flashed Juhli one of his irresistible smiles and removed his palm from where he was searing Jaejoong’s flesh.

 

“I’ve been invited to visit the northern military base. I’ve accepted. It is an honor. You?”

 

Jaejoong grew cold at Yunho’s words. He couldn't help but recall Yunho’s Poppi’s words.

 

Yunho wasn’t a killer–Jaejoong could not imagine someone as nice and compassionate as Yunho taking someone, anyone’s life— and he didn’t want him dead. War only meant one thing: death. This was a form of thinking that was new to the worried teen and he didn’t know how to deal with it at all.

 

The teen chugged down more of his juice in an effort to calm down and clear his head.

 

Yunho scowled at Jaejoong before he let out a half smile and an endearing scoff. His lips curled in that lustrous satiny smile that always melted the singer’s bones.

 

“You okay, bro?”

 

The light skinned male jerked his head rapidly.

 

Forgotten in the background, Juhli pouted and her eyes, centered with longing, remained on Yunho’s broad back.

 

“Good.” The general reached over, and lightly ran the tip of his fingers against Jaejoong’s bare knee before he patted there three times for good measures.

 

Yunho’s eyes were misty around the corners and soft, making Jaejoong’s heart flutter and butterflies rose in his belly. He started coughing again to elevate the tension in his throat over the rush of uncontrollable feelings.

 

“I am fine, really,” he assured, downing the rest of his drink in one swallow.

 

“Okay.”

 

Yunho scrutinized him in silence for a few seconds, making the rushing blood intensified, filling Jaejoong’s ears with white noise.

 

The corner of the teen’s lips lifted, and his lashes lowered, cashing a slight shadow on his tan cheeks. Yunho asked, “Doing anything over the break?”

 

Jaejoong nodded, swallowed and answered, “My family is thinking of taking a road trip.”

 

“Sweet.” The general face lit up. “Sounds like fun. I like traveling to different departments. I like hearing the different accents.”

 

Calm down, Jaejoong!

 

“Western cadence is funny,” Jaejoong retrospectively noted, chuckling.

 

“Exactly!” Yunho agreed, snapping his fingers loudly. “The way they hiss their Ses and their voices rises at the beginning of words is so interesting—funny.” Yunho shared, “When I was younger, I would try to mimic them. Try because I just cannot do it for the life of me.”

 

“No way.” Jaejoong eyes twinkled. “I hope it wasn’t around them.”

 

Yunho gave him a secretive look. “Maybe.” He shrugged.

 

“You’re naughty!” Jaejoong howled a laugh.

 

Yunho liked the word Jaejoong used—naughty. The male’s cheeks filled with blood, his eyes forming crescent.

 

Jaejoong didn’t want his time with Yunho to end. Ever. He didn’t want the festival to come. He didn’t want this summer to end. If it ended, Jaejoong felt like something would change, something would be lost—a fragile something that neither young men would ever be able to regain.

 

“We should hang out when we both come back home,” Yunho suggested, smiling at him.

 

Jaejoong nodded. “Sure.”

 

“I’ll come over to yours.” Yunho quickly made plans.

 

“Okay.”

 

“Good.” Yunho bit is bottom lip as he grinned at Jaejoong.

 

He was excited. He had yet to visit Jaejoong’s home and wanted an excuse to get Jaejoong to come over to his more and spend more time with him.

 

As he walked by the opened back sliding door that led into the veranda, he saw his sister and Poppi sitting under the shade of the tall trees in the spacious backyard. Poppi was gently Chrysanthemum’s silky mane from her position on his lap. The moonlight and the light streaming from inside the house illuminating their figures, casting their trembling shadows on the ground.

 

Yunho’s wanted to join them. The night was alluring.

 

Walking in the backyard, Yunho had a small, damped white towel thrown around his neck. He had just finished his shower and was drying his hair.

 

The night air was warm, it felt delicious against his skin, the moon large and radiant, shading the world silver. The scent of the citrus trees overpowered Yunho. It was different from the odor that Jaejoong emitted. He smelled nicer—softer perhaps.

 

Sanah was leaning toward her grandfather, telling him something with fever.

 

They did not notice an advancing Yunho.

 

“It is not the time, my little dove. We have to be careful. Especially now,” he droned, busy, graying eyebrows drawing near.

 

Sanah leaned back and loudly exhaled. “When will it be time, Poppi?”

 

“When it is,” he finished slowly.

 

“Hyeena…”

 

Poppi sighted Yunho, he smiled and Sanah quieted down and twisted her dark head and gazed openly at her brother.

 

With a thumping heart, he forced a smile and lifted a hand, waving at them. He hadn’t meant to eavesdropped, they had not seen him approaching; plus, he wanted to know what they were talking about.

 

The secret it seemed everyone in his household was on except him rested heavily on his soul. Why Was he excluded?

 

“What are you guys talking about?” he asked jubilantly, rubbing the smooth surface of his lips together. He knew they were not going to tell him the truth.

 

Sanah’s sudden smile was sloppy. Carding her fingers through her silky strands, eyes keen and bright she answered for the two, “Nothing much.”

 

“Ooh, I see.” His eyebrows lifted and dipped, following the syllables. He pulled a chair and dropped down, letting the balmy night air warmed up his cooling body.

 

“Just excited about the festival.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Yep. It is much more fun when you are not a part of the entertainment,” she confessed, unabashed.

 

Yunho rolled his eyes. “Of course.”

 

He balanced his chair on its hindlegs. Poppi tsked when he noticed his action. Smiling guiltily, he dropped down.

 

“I do love the festival, but I cannot wait till I am a mere spectator.” The boy sighed, playing along with Sanah.

 

Sanah laughed, Poppi remained quiet.

 

Chrysanthemum meowed, got up and jumped on Yunho’s lap. He was her second favorite human.

 

He petted her how he knows she liked it. She sighed soundlessly and plopped on his lap, relaxing, the motor in her chest rhythmic.

 

“Want to hang out with Jun and I during the ‘real’ festival?”

 

Jun was Junho’s nickname in the Jung family.

 

“No.” He shook his head, knowing she was trying to placate him, or she thought he believed her lies. He knew she was lying. He was just not in the mood to question and fight.

 

It was better to enjoy the spectacular beauty of the night, the summer moon and the stars who were being embraced by the night sky.

 

Tilting his head back, he inhaled deeply, citrus staining his lungs, and pulled the feline to his chest, feeling her tiny scalp. “I want to spend it with my friends.”

 

With Jaejoong.

 

“Suit yourself then.”

 

He would.

 

They would have to tell him the truth sometimes, he reasoned.

 

 

 

 

 

It was their last dip in the creek.

 

For some weird reason, Jaejoong felt saddened. However, he appeared to be the only one, because Yunho didn’t seem to be taking in the moment through nostalgic lenses; he was simply enjoying the water, laughing loudly and playing wildly without a care that this was their last.

 

This being the last meant time really hadn’t stopped, obviously, and their summer of eternity was coming to an end.

 

The magic of the moments the two teens spent together, the little dreams and wishes Jaejoong had let seeded were growing wrong and slowly withering. They would part. And Jaejoong would have to let go.

 

It all felt too final.

 

Deep in his thoughts, Jaejoong was driven crazy by Yunho antics in the water, making him both laugh and snapped at him.

 

Yunho did a good job of keeping Hyein away from Jaejoong, while Changmin took care of an exuberant Juhli.

 

When it came time to get out, the singer lurked behind and watched his athletic friend swim out first.

 

He got a great look at the tall, muscular male’s wide sun kissed back, and the way the crystal droplets clung to his rippling back muscles, and a trimmed waist led to glorious buttocks housed in a form fitting black brief—boxer with contrasting white waistband, firm legs painted over with dark hair extending from them, ending with toned calves and a slim ankle.

 

Yunho's body mirrored most, if not all, of the kids at the creek that night, but something about his lumbar lordosis, the way he turned his head to look at Jaejoong with that joyful smile etched on his handsome face and effortlessly flicked water out of his jet—black lashes, eyes glistening, his wet hair clamping to his scalp and forehead, his Adam’s apple bobbing, made Jaejoong feel ticklish all over.

 

Jaejoong knew what he was feeling at seeing Yunho in his half stated was not something he should feel. He knew that, and it twisted his inside in painful shame.

 

He had wanted to run his fingers down Yunho’s washboard abdomen, and feel his heat.

 

.

 

The singer shook his head, his hair smacking him.

 

Yunho felt Jaejoong missing and turned his whole body around and called his name, waving with that ridiculous boyish simper. “Jaejoong, hurry up.”

 

Yunho’s gorgeous golden skin gleamed under the moonlight. He looked so robust and positively beautiful, Jaejoong thought his breathing becoming haggard.

 

“Coming,” he said, but too soft that Yunho missed it due to the distance between them.

 

Wading out of the silver water, Jaejoong decided he needed to look on a different part of his friend’s phenomenal body and not his handsome face; his eyes lowered to Yunho’s tantalizing pelvic line, and the fuzzy, dark hair that led to places best left unnamed, made the boy instantly regret his decision as an all-consuming heat washed over his body, startling him.

 

He dragged his body under water before he reemerged to a concerned Yunho who was already in the water coming for him.

 

“I am fine.” Jaejoong waved, dragging his palm down his face, standing up.

 

Yunho laughed in relief, and said when he was closer to him, “I thought you got dizzy, or something, and was drowning.”

 

“It’s not that deep for a man my height to drown.”

 

Yunho snorted. “Man.”

 

“Hey!” Jaejoong laughed.

 

Mother nature, he loved being with Yunho. He was always happy with him.

 

After they got out of the water and began dragging their clothes on, talking at the top of their lungs to be heard over the next shouting person next them, someone whined loudly, “I do not want to leave yet.”

 

“Yeah, me too,” a few others chorused, their words laced with longing.

 

They were all reluctant to leave.

 

Those fun after practice activities made the preparation for the festival bearable. It made the summer fun and memorable.

 

“Want to tell scary stories?” Someone, a female, suggested.

 

That way they didn’t have to vacate so soon.

 

A gust of wind rustled through the trees at that moment, it was refreshingly cool as it rushed through their wet bodies.

 

“Sure, let’s do that!” they excitedly agreed, voice tumbling over the other.

 

With the moon as their source of light, they sat in a circle on the bank of the creek on the slippery rocks and listened to one after the other tell a story. Some were well craft and did spook them a bit, some were terrible with no beginning, just a lackluster that run into a half—baked conclusion, and those got well deserved boos and playful slaps directed at the owner.

 

Yunho sat next to Jaejoong. Their wet thighs pressing together. It burnt and Yunho would occasionally pull away only to go back to his previous position, it felt worst to be away from him than it was to be burnt alive. Yunho felt extremely nervous over the light brushes.

 

He sneaked little glances at Jaejoong’s porcelain side profile. He was intently listening to the storyteller.

 

Yunho hid his smirk, because the story being told was bad. Really bad. And Jaejoong being so focused was…cute.

 

The storyteller’s expressions, which were supposed to make them scared, was coming across as comical. Everything, from the plot, to his tone of voice was hilarious. There was no fear whatsoever.

 

“You !” Sungyeol hollered, drawing attention to him and his quiet friend, who was sitting serenely in the vee of his legs. The complaining boy had his arms wrapped around his handsome friend’s waist, his chin on the handsome teen’s broad shoulder.

 

Some of the kids laughed their agreement while others, as in Changmin, got vocal and told their classmate to stop because he was terrible.

 

“None of us are getting scared.” He swiped his arm in an arch to point to his colleagues. “So why don’t we move to the next person?” The robust male smiled at his crestfallen classmate, who mumbled disappointedly, “Okay. Whatever.”

 

“Okay, my time.” A girl volunteered. She smiled sinisterly, rubbing her hands together.

 

“Aww. That’s a scary expression. I am already getting scared.” Mino laughed, rubbing his arms as if he were getting rid of goosepimples.

 

The poor boy that had been told his story was rubbish frowned, hurt at Mino’s words.

 

“It’s okay, mate.” Jihun smiled, slapping him on the shoulder. “I thought your story was scary.”

 

The boy pushed him off. He wasn’t in the mood to be soothed by pretty lies.

 

Yunho felt a tad bit bad for him, but his story was not engaging, and he was glad that the torture was over.

 

The girl began her story and by the time she was done they were all thoroughly impressed, and a few were shaken. She was wicked, Sungyeol said so, eyes shining in pure delight.

 

“Compliment. Thank you.” She took a few short flourish bows, still seated.

 

A gush of wind rippled through the woods. Someone shriek at the sound of leaves snapping. They laughed.

 

Changmin asked if they were scared. A unanimous answered was heard through the trees, “No!”

 

“Good. Let’s play hide and seek.”

 

Heejun whopped, grinningly at his friends.

 

“Let’s do it.” Hyein concurred, grinning. “It’ll be fun.”

 

Yunho nodded and smiled raising his hand. “I am in.”

 

Yunho threw Jaejoong, who was distracted by his bantering friends, a quick glance.

 

“You in?” Yunho asked, standing up.

 

Snapping his head up, Jaejoong shrugged and nodded. “Sure, why not.”

 

He did not want the night to end like everyone else. Hide and seek could be fun.

 

“I’ll seek.” A grinning Changmin offered. His smile was pure evil. Making the game more jollifying.

 

“Okay.” Sungyeol laughed, tugging Myungsoo up with his left hand.

 

“Why do you look like you are up to something?” Hyein asked, all the while sniggering, reaching for a grinning Juhli.

 

“Wha—” the boy faked feeling insulted. “Never!”

 

Hyein simply laughed and threw a pile of thick hair over her shoulder.

 

“I’ll make sure to catch you guys last.” Changmin winked at the giggling teenage girls.

 

“Thank you, captain,” Juhli threw over her shoulders as she scampered away with her friend, tan legs flashing where the moonlight hit.

 

Changmin watched them leave with a fond smile before he flipped to look at the rest of his friends.

 

“Excited?” Yunho asked, too focused on Jaejoong. He couldn’t help but chortle in glee, he was giddy for no good reason.

 

He stretched a hand out to Jaejoong who was still seated. 

 

The teen looked at his calloused fingers and slid his eyes up to Yunho’s warm face, sighed, swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing, lightly shrugged as if he had arrived on a hard decision, and accepted his hand.

 

“Very.”

 

Electricity crackled between them.

 

Jaejoong yanked his hand free the moment he was on his own two legs.

 

“Get going guys!” Changmin shooed them away.

 

The two broke their stare.

 

The two said in unison:

 

“Want to—”

 

“I’ll go that way.” Jaejoong pointed.

 

Yunho nodded, eyes dimming a bit. He resumed his vigor when he stated, “Don’t get caught.”
 

Jaejoong let out a short laugh. “I won’t. You should not be the first one caught.”

 

“I am good at hiding.” Yunho winked before Changmin snapped, “You guys are the last ones still here. Leave!”

 

They were not, but they complied.

 

They dispersed, going in different directions.

 

Yunho spied Myungsoo tugging a giggling Sungyeol after him. He hurried in their direction before he threw Jaejoong’s back one last longing filled look. He had wanted to go hiding with him, like Sungyeol and Myungsoo were.

 

Ooh well.

 

Yunho did not follow the best friend to their hiding place, instead he turned in the perpendicular from them, going deeper into the woods.

 

A creature cried in the distance when Jaejoong was far from where they had congregated to tell stories.

 

He felt a bit cold from his damp clothing.

 

He strolled around a bit, careful to not be too loud. He felt lonely. He wished he had allowed Yunho to ask him to go hide with him. He bet it would have been much more fun that way.

 

Just as the thought infiltrated his mind, he started beating himself up. He should not crave Yunho’s company so much. He did not need to be with him at every minute.

 

Mother nature!

 

Strolling around, trying to at least enjoy the night and be the last one caught, Jaejoong did not know how much time passed, but he knew it was a good ten minutes. He wondered if anyone had yet to be caught.

 

Tilting his head back, the vocalist tried to admire the moon from where it was peeking through the thick foliage.

 

It was a beautiful night. The whole summer was beautiful; maybe that’s why Yunho kept on commenting on the beauty of the night.

 

Just as Jaejoong was about to walk around a tree, he collided into a warm body. Jumping back, startled, Jaejoong’s scream was pressed in his mouth by a hard, callous hand.

 

A strong arm reached out to grab one of his elbow, stopping him from falling backward.

 

Looking up, the male’s heart rate began slowing down when he realized the shadowed figure was a smiling Yunho.

 

“Don’t give our place away.” He leaned forward, pressing his lips against Jaejoong’s burning ear shell and whispered.

 

Tugging his hands off, Jaejoong snapped, “You almost gave me a heart attack.”

 

“Shss. Sorry. I didn’t think we would meet.” Yunho laughed, eyes forming crescents. He grabbed his friend’s arms once more, and delicately rubbed his thumb on the soft skin of Jaejoong’s inner wrists.

 

Heat rushed down his veins, his arms heating. Why was Yunho doing this to him?

 

He yanked his arms free once more.

 

“Sorry!” Yunho quickly apologized, letting Jaejoong’s arm go without a fight. He did not want to upset his friend.

 

That rub had been unconscious, but Yunho realized what he had done was untoward and might have made Jaejoong uncomfortable—he never wanted that.

 

“I…” the rest of whatever Jaejoong was going to say got stuck in his throat when they heard footsteps coming in their direction.

 

Making to reach for Jaejoong, the general quickly caught himself. He pressed his hands to his side.

 

Sharing a look, they tried to get far away from the footsteps as quietly as possible.

 

The night’s air felt especially refreshing as it rushed against their scalp. Their damp hair making the sensation feel delicious.

 

They tried to suppress their laughter. It was all suddenly comical, outrageously so.

 

Yunho’s foot got caught in some rocks. He began slipping. Jaejoong reached for him. Wrong move. He should have had let him fall.

 

To their surprise they both went down.

 

The air left Yunho lungs, Jaejoong bit his bottom lip to stop from screeching. The two teenage males wished their fall was covered by the clamor of the night. Blood rushed to their ears, and the need to laugh got stronger.

 

Yunho who was on his back saw a silvery thin slice of the moon, the rest obscured by the thick leaves. It was a painful moment of intense beauty.

 

Pressed against Yunho, Jaejoong hid his lips against the taller male’s throat to hide his shriek of delight and the laughter that wanted to bubble from his chest.

 

It was difficult to hold it in and their stomach was hurting. Laughing against each other’s sultry skin, they tried to hear if the footsteps was gone.

 

Chest pressing together, they breathed against the other’s hair. It was an intimate position they never planned to get in. But it felt good.

 

Being in the other’s arm like that this summer night could not compare to anything else. It was perfect.

 

Yunho noted, Jaejoong was very hot and he smelled terrific, and felt harder than he thought from how pretty and soft his face was. Jaejoong was acutely male.

 

If felt as if his heart would jump through his skin, Yunho thought, hoping Jaejoong didn’t hear the rapid beats.

 

He wrapped his arm tighter around Jaejoong. Yunho wanted him closer. He loved the warmth of his weight against him.

 

Suddenly it all made sense. It was crystal clear.

 

Yunho knew what those feelings of wanting to touch and be close to Jaejoong was.

 

He was eighteen, after all. He did envision a future with a partner, albeit a female partner. He did know of what occurred between the sheets of married couple. He had paid attention in the half semester ual education course every Peyisivil students had to take their sophomore year.

 

Yunho knew what his feelings were, and it hurt.

 

Yunho felt disgusted with himself that he had such a reaction while he was holding a friend who viewed him through innocent lenses. He wanted to apologize, but shamed and a grittier, painful emotion kept his lips sealed.

 

“I think they’re gone,” Jaejoong husked in Yunho’s ear. He pulled back, his knees on the soft earth on both sides of Yunho’s waist, Jaejoong’s soft, firm bottom hovered over the male’s crotch.

 

Jaejoong peered into the darkness, trying to see if he could see anything. Nothing.

 

“Yeah. Whoever it is is gone.” Jaejoong gazed down, his eye locking with Yunho’s. Time stopped altogether.

 

Yunho wanted to kiss Jaejoong then.

 

 With his plush, red lips parted, fringes spilling over his pallid forehead, chest pumping, eyes deep and calm, lids hooded, Jaejoong was a sight. Yunho wanted Jaejoong in that moment in such a way he did not believe he would ever find the language to be able to explain. He had never wanted anyone like this before. Not even a girl. Especially not a girl.

 

Yunho knew he saw Jaejoong differently and finding the reason why didn’t surprised him. He felt as if he has had always known.

 

Was this normal, he wondered? Could you want someone this much?

 

Yunho’s pulse felt like it was about to jump and escape at any minute.

 

Jaejoong’s chest began pumping faster, his shallow breaths more audible.

 

A loud shriek broke through the spell, laughter quickly following. Someone was caught. Jaejoong knew that laughter. It was coming from someone he adored, a close friend, Juhli.

 

Changmin laughed. “Game over!”

 

Yunho wondered if he knew how loud he was.

 

He didn't want to let Jaejoong go. Yunho subconsciously dug his fingers into Jaejoong’s hip, locking him over him.

 

The dark—haired male looked down at his athletic friend, eyes quizzical at the president’s reluctance to get up and thoughtlessly down on Yunho, asking, “You okay?”

 

Wrong move.

 

Jaejoong thoughtlessly sat on Yunho’s crotch.

 

All the air left the male’s lungs and a sound between a moan and a startled gasp flew through his mouth before he could swallow it deep into his core. Flinching, Yunho shifted.

 

His body came alive.

 

Everything that followed was worse than a nightmare Yunho could have ever conceived.

 

Jaejoong felt it and jerkily shoot up, knees pressing hard into the dirt on both sides of his waist, palms widened on Yunho’s chest, eyes wide, stupefied.

 

Jaejoong was still straddling. The position didn’t make it better.

 

Yunho felt as if he had been lit on fire before he was slapped with icy cold water that he felt by every single membrane of his body. He did not know if he should cover his face or act like a statue.

 

He almost passed out, mortified when Jaejoong’s beseeching eyes landing on his. He hoped his red cheeks did not illuminate his face.

 

Mother nature. Ooh, !

 

Jaejoong felt that. It shone in his eyes that he knew what just happened.

 

How will I explain this? I am toasted.

 

Yunho didn’t try to assemble his jumbled thoughts into a string, no matter the length, of coherent vocalized explanation, or apology. He pushed his startled friend back and began pulling his legs through Jaejoong’s thighs, forcing the surprised male to get up to accommodate him.

 

He was going to dash home, sleep on it, and act like nothing happened the next morning.

 

Jaejoong grabbed his arm, stopping him from making his escape.

 

Yunho quivered in horror.

 

“Hey, I…” The singer sounded out of breath.

 

Yunho didn’t know if he could look back at Jaejoong and hold his steady gaze.

 

The male decided to avoid Jaejoong’s bright eyes. Eyes that saw him as a friend—Only a friend.

 

His body, how dare it!

 

He wiggled his arm free.

 

“Don’t go!” Jaejoong half whispered and half shouted.

 

Yunho froze.

 

Turning around with his head hanging low, mortified beyond compare, he played with his fingers.

 

He could push an ‘I am sorry’ through his clogged throat, but he would be admitting that he did something. One, he truly did not mean to react in that fashion and have never thought he would, and two, it would be better if he acted like nothing happened. They both didn’t know how to face it. Silence was golden, after all.

 

Yunho was petrified and felt as if in any moment now he would have passed out. He was beyond embarrassed. His head was white and hot.

 

“I...What I am trying to say is...I didn't—do not mind.”

 

He snapped his head up and looked at Jaejoong. “What?” he croaked.

 

The male shrugged, ruffling his damp hair nervously.

 

Cicadas, crickets and other summer critters sang around them in joyous abandonment.

 

“I...umm—” Just as he lifted his head and looked Yunho square in the eyes, faint footsteps accompanied by clear distinctive voices reached them. The incoming hiders’ words melted into the other.

 

Looking at each other in panic as if they were children caught stealing from the candy jar, they reached for each other at the same time. Jaejoong yanked Yunho and pulled him closed, the beige skinned male dropped against his chest, and they tried to hide in the darkness the trees provided.

 

Heat flushed through them.

 

Stuffing his face down on Jaejoong’s shoulder, where he was assaulted by his body odor, Yunho crushed the side of his arm. The poor teen hoped he would simply calm down, and his breathing would even out, and he would stop panting.

 

Jaejoong was in the same predicament. Excitement made it difficult for him to stay still.

 

The singer had dreamt and wondered what it would feel like to be held by Yunho or hold Yunho. Not the side, impersonal hugs Yunho gave to everyone, but the ones he had seen his parents shared. A lover’s embrace. A crushing embrace that would tell him he was his.

 

Jaejoong had and was getting more than he ever could have had wished for.

 

He panted softly and rhythmically in Yunho’s ears, relishing in the feeling of the planes of Yunho’s body against his. Hard and supple. Jaejoong wondered if his shirt would smell like Yunho, warm, earthy, and thick.

 

He wanted him. He’d always wanted him.

 

The need was so intense that Jaejoong feared he would turn his head the half inch it would take and sink his teeth into Yunho’s flesh, marking him as his territory, as animals are wont to.

 

This is what it felt like to be closed to the….

 

Myungsoo stepped through the clearing with Sungyeol on his back. “If I’ve sprained my ankle, I blame you.”

 

“You were enjoying it too, so stop complaining.”

 

Sungyeol slapped him on the shoulder. “My enjoying it doesn’t negate that it is your fault.”

 

Jaejoong and Yunho frowned and connect their gazes. Yunho quickly looked away.

 

Myungsoo groaned exasperatedly. “If you do not shut up, I will drop you,” he assured.

 

Sungyeol wrapped his arms around his neck in a death grip. “I’ll never talk to you again if you do that.”

 

Myungsoo’s laugh was tender, like the soft wind caressing Jaejoong’s cheek, and said something that was too low for the two hiding friends’ ears to detect, but it made his complaining friend laughed and he slapped Myungsoo on the chest where his hands were now knotted.

 

The two slowly made their way through the clearing and away from Yunho’s and Jaejoong’s sight.

 

Yunho abruptly stepped back, and shook unsteadily before he found his balance, face downward.

 

Jaejoong pressed the back of his hand against his mouth to quiet his breathing.

 

Myungsoo and Sungyeol were weird. Something was definitely up between them.

 

Like them?

 

Could they deny it anymore after what just happened?

 

Yunho flew passed Jaejoong into the clearing, breathing hard.

 

“I hope Sungyeol is okay,” he said, wiping his clammy palm on his thighs.

 

“Yeah,” Jaejoong muttered.

 

Yunho had put up a wall. He did not want to continue where they left off.

 

Maybe Jaejoong felt wrong. No, he did not. He knew what he felt.

 

Parting his lips, Jaejoong shook his head, swallowed his words down and clinched his fist.

 

Maybe it was better this way.

 

Yunho wanted to know what Jaejoong had planned to say before they were interrupted. But he didn't dare pressure him. It was better to forget everything. Act like it never happened.

 

Was the game over now? Only one person had been caught? Jaejoong thought, awkwardness descending on him.

 

“Do we…” Jaejoong choked.

 

Hide or go back?

 

“I think the game is now over,” Yunho added, looking back toward the meeting place.

 

“But only one person has been caught.”

 

“True. But…”

 

“No.” Jaejoong shook his head. “I think it is best if we just go home.”

 

“The rest can finish the game.”

 

“I feel a little guilty,” Jaejoong muttered, stepping around Yunho.

 

“They would never find all of us anyways. We cannot spend the whole night here.”

 

“True.” Jaejoong nodded.

 

They walked the rest of the way in weary silence.

 

Changmin happened upon them as they walked back to the river’s bank. He was chirpy, he pulled them into a conversation.

 

Around twenty—three people had been caught from the total of around fifty students who had participated in the game.

 

The game was indeed over.

 

The silence remained as they walked home. They talked to their other friends. Jaejoong allowed Hyein to talk him into a headache. Yunho joined Juhli and Changmin.

 

The inside of Yunho’s head was filled with questions: when and how long had it been since his, to his knowledge, innocent, platonic affections turned into this big confusing pile of yearning, craving and so many other emotions he had yet to decipher?

 

Yunho parted ways with Jaejoong and the rest of his friends.

 

His eyes lingered after Jaejoong's disappearing back as he stood at the entrance of his front yard.

 

What had just happened continued looping in his head, and with each rewind, he got hotter and wanted to go back and experience it once more.

 

Maybe he should have had kissed him. He looked so willing on top of him like that, eyes soft, lips red, parted and yielding.

 

Regrets, mortification and need kept sleep at bay.

 

Lying on his bed Yunho could help but feel as if they—he—committed a crime. Something he could never share with another soul.

 

What he felt for Jaejoong was a need beyond wanting his body—an impossibility, they were both male—or romantic love. He just wanted...him.

 

However, he did lust after Jaejoong, which his reaction proved.

 

 Lust. The word repeated in his head loudly.

 

Could a man feel lust for another man? He did. He supposed one could. Could one sate that desire? They both were male, he supposed no. The important question was, was it okay? Was it normal? No, it wasn’t.

 

It was not like they could even sleep together. That did not happen between two males.

 

He shouldn't feel such a way toward a fellow brother. What was wrong with him. He had never heard of two men loving each other.

 

Yunho shot up in panic and rolled off his bed and fell on the floor. Rolling into a ball, he screamed into his knees.

 

He was abnormal.

 

This was why he had never liked a girl.

 

All his male friends were going crazy over the female figure and having ‘crushes’ and would secretly share magazines around. He had never felt anything except a bit of curiosity. Now he knew why.

 

He was scared.

 

What if someone found out about his abnormal feelings. What would happen?

 

Would he be punished with death?

 

He was scared that even though such dark thoughts plagued him, his body still hummed with need for Jaejoong; Kim Jaejoong who could never know about these feelings of his.

 

He was a deviant.

 

Writer’s note: Here is the promised update. Please enjoy. Please remember to leave me a comment if you have any input (just five comments would make my whole week^^). Question, who would want me to update for Valentine’s Day? If anyone wants an update around that time frame, please leave me a comment. Anywho, until my next update, stay amazing! Bizou