“You don't know babe. When you hold me. And kiss me slowly. It's the sweetest thing. And it don't change….Where you go I follow. No matter how far. If life is a movie. Oh you're the best part, oh oh oh. You're the best part, oh oh oh. Best part.”—Best Part by Daniel Caesar

 

The house phone was ringing.

 

It was the middle of the night and Jaejoong was the only soul not yet asleep.

 

He had been replaying the day he had have. The games he played. The photos he took in the photobooth with his friends and Yunho—especially Yunho. How glorious Yunho looked in his outfit, the silkiness of his voice and the high pitch of his squeals of excitement when he won a game or came off a ride. Yunho was beautiful.

 

Sighing in slight annoyance, he sat up. He would have to come back to his precious thoughts.

 

It was weird for someone to telephone so late in the night.

 

His eyes made a beeline for the clock on the back of his door, it was too dark, and he was too far to be able to detect the hands. It was these moments that made Jaejoong wished they could have electrical clocks as was had in the government buildings. But they needed to be clean and conserve energy.

 

Wondering who it could be, his breath hitched when his mind landed on a tall, tanned, athletic teen with a thousand-watt smile.

 

Yunho.

 

Jaejoong’s heartrate picked up at the thought.

 

He hoped it was him.

 

Rolling off his bed, he literally skipped into the interaction area where the house phone perched.

 

Picking up the phone, Jaejoong was pleasantly surprised with trills rushing through his veins at Yunho’s nervous voice. He promptly sat down.

 

Yunho!

 

Before Yunho got the chance to recite the proper phoning protocol they were instructed as children where they announced who their family’ name and location of dwelling, Jaejoong interrupted, “Hey, it’s me?”

 

There was a pause and Yunho’s breath hitched.

 

Smiling, carding his finger through his hair Jaejoong asked while he tugged the roots of his fringe, “You still here, Yunho?”

 

“Yeah.” He cleared his throat. “Your voice….Were you sleeping?”

 

“No. I was thinking about today—the festival.” Jaejoong blushed at his candor.

 

Yunho’s chuckle did things to Jaejoong it wasn’t supposed to. He curled his toes.

 

“Ooh yeah, really? You had fun, eh?”

 

The singer held his breath before he exhaled. “I did. So many exciting things happened today. I had fun. I am glad Hyein suggested we go together. You?”

 

“Yeah,” Yunho continued whispering in that deep, gravely tone of his. Jaejoong’s toes tightened. “It was fun.”

 

The second youngest Kim held his voice, trying to stop the flutters in his belly.

 

“Sorry for calling so late, and when we just separated, but—”

 

“I do not mind,” Jaejoong quickly assured.

 

Yunho let out a short laugh. “That's good. Yeah.”

 

An awkward pause ensued.

 

Jaejoong would have not minded listening to Yunho breathing. Matter of fact, it was calming, as if he were being sung a lullaby. But Yunho called for a reason and he was impatient to know it.

 

Clearing his throat, he inferred, “If you do not mind me asking for the reason behind the call…”

 

“Ooh, right.” Another one of Yunho's short awkward laughs. “Do you, by any chance, might want to go running tomorrow morning?” He asked and quickly dropped down the rabbit hole with a long explanation of his morning habits.

 

His toes and fingers tingled, realizing Yunho missed him too.

 

Jaejoong interjected. “Yeah! Sure. Yes. I would love to.”

 

He would never reject him.

 

This is what reciprocity feels like, he asked the dark roof, head tilted back, smile stretching from one corner of his face to the other.

 

Jaejoong didn’t think he could ever be happier.

 

They whispered back and forth for what seemed like hours before Yunho yawned and said they needed to sleep, given they would be getting up with the sun. Severing their call, they promised to see each other the next morning. Yunho asked to pick him up at the train station. He sounded delirious with excitement at the prospect. Jaejoong quickly agreed.

 

 

 

Jaejoong waltzed out of the bathroom on a minty cloud.

 

He almost bumped into his mother. “Whoa there, tiger.”

 

“Sorry,” he quickly apologized, making to sidestep her. She grabbed his arm and frowned, inspecting him.

 

“You are up early?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Yes?” She cocked an eyebrow, eyes suspicious.

 

On days he had nowhere to go he would commit to his bed and sleep in till late afternoon. Today was one of those days. He had no obligations. She knew that. His mother kept neat, tight tabs on all her children.

 

“I’m going running.”

 

She hummed in the back of , the eyebrow was still up. “You don’t go for morning runs.”

 

Pushing his fingers through his fringes that got damp when he was washing his face after brushing his teeth, he sighed. “I was invited.”

 

“By who?”

 

“A friend, mom! A boy friend.”

 

His heart dipped when her demeanor didn’t change. Her eyes remained observative and critical.

 

His warm, comfortable feeling disappeared with a clamoring thud.

 

Did she know something? Did she suspect something? Did he say or do something to tip her? Had she always known he was different? She was his mother. She knew everything about him.

 

Ooh no!

 

He began trembling, his palms growing soft, his cheeks filling with blood. He held his toothbrush in his tight fist.

 

Not now. Not when he just became happy and fulfilled.

 

“Can I know who he is?”

 

“Mom, are you treating me like Moonbok?”

 

“Who is he, love?”

 

Sighing, Jaejoong rolled his shoulders back.

 

She didn’t know. She was being her overprotective self. After all, he was certain his mother did not even fathom that two men could ever feel what he feels for Yunho. He was safe. They were safe.

 

He wanted to see Yunho.

 

“Jung Yunho. The YI general.”

 

The older woman looked distracted before her eyes cleared in recognition.

 

“Yes, I know him. Good boy. When did you two become friends.”

 

Moonbok’s fight and the friends he was choosing to have was having an impact on their mother.

 

“He’s a good guy, mom. He is the YI general.”

 

She chuckled lovingly. “I know, dove. I’m just asking. Why the rush?”

 

“I have fifteen minutes to leave or I will be late.”

 

“Don’t forget to eat something high in protein. Do not run on an empty stomach.”

 

“I won’t.”

 

Yunho felt like he was meeting his future partner for the first time and getting married as he stood in the train station the next morning in his trademark exercise clothing, waiting for Jaejoong’s train.

 

His clothing, which marked him for his upstanding rank and achievement in the Youth Infantry and his undoubtable plans to join the military commended praising remarks from passersby, as it always did. The citizens took pride in their military.

 

When Jaejoong train came, stopped, and he got off the metallic compartment, Yunho thought his heart would stop when their eyes met amongst the bustling bodies and a large smile overtook Jaejoong's beautiful face.

 

Yunho felt warm all over and he felt as if he was going to combust. Not to mention he had trouble breathing. Jaejoong was so beautiful and adorable that it hurt.

 

He wanted to run to him, hug him, tuck his hair behind his ear and kiss him. Soft and playful at first, before deepening it into a hard, rough kiss. He wanted to steal his breath, quite literally. Then take his hand and lead him out as he had seen married couples do.

 

It felt like forever since they’ve kissed.

 

Yunho did none of those things, however. He simply stood where he was and waited for him to come, the corner of his lips stretching so wide and far it hurt. But he refused to stop smiling or soften it.

 

Jaejoong stopped in front of him with a little bounced and they greeted each other.

 

Yunho could barely managed to get his tongue and throat working to ask, “Ready to go?”

 

Jaejoong nodded, eyes twinkling.

 

Once they left the busy part of town and was jogging down a deserted street, near the woods, Yunho slowed down and reached for Jaejoong’s fingers, stopping him mid—sentence. The vocalist stiffened and looked around in a panic state before he relaxed when he noticed that they were alone.

 

It was just them.

 

“I hope you do not mind.”

 

The teen’s pale cheeks were coloring as he shook his head, biting his lips, the corners tucking into a sly, pleased grin.

 

Yunho thought him lovely for blushing.

 

It was the little things that sends him diving.

 

Was it normal to care this deeply for someone? To want someone this deeply in ways he couldn’t describe because he didn’t have the words for? And they’ve only just began, too.

 

Squeezing his fingers, they slowed into a stroll and took in the beauty of the summer morning. The warming temperature made their scalp tinkle. The brightness of the sun made everything appeared surreal, the green of nature jumping at them. It was beautiful hearing the birds sing around them as they trekked up a small hill.

 

“I have somewhere I really want to show you. Would you please go with me?”

 

Jaejoong laughed as he nodded. “I’m already following you.” He paused and looked at Yunho through misty eyes. “Yes.”

 

Yunho grinned. “True. I still felt the need to ask you.”

 

“Thanks,” Jaejoong mumbled between their short silence.

 

Anywhere. He would follow him anywhere.

 

That scared him. He didn’t know Yunho for long to feel this strongly toward him. Yes, he had admired him since freshman year, but to allow him to hold his hand in broad daylight where they might happen upon someone at any time and destroy not only their lives but also their families was something completely different. He was crazy, but he didn’t ever want to stop or let go of that rough palm.

 

He never wanted their time together to end. A sentiment he had held since the first moment Yunho invited him to lunch and showed his obvious desire of wanting to befriend him.

 

It felt so good being with Yunho. It mirrored that feeling of ecstasy he got when he won his first national competition. That rush of joy that appeared so tangible and infinite.

 

The drawing of the end of summer did not bother them as much as it did a few days ago. They were together now, and it felt right.

 

They headed for the woods, going up steep hills till Yunho grabbed Jaejoong’s upper arm and commended in a staged whisper right next to his ear, surprising him, “Stop.”

 

He looked over at him, shock written all over his face. “Huh?”

 

Yunho’s smile confused him more.

 

“It’s a surprised.” And he stepped behind the male and made to cover his eyes with his hands.

 

A giggle escaped Jaejoong’s lips. His heartrate picked up. He turned his head and looked at Yunho. “What are you doing?”

 

“Shss. It wouldn’t be a surprised if I told you. Just wait a moment.”

 

The last thing Jaejoong saw before he was mesmerized by the most amazing scenes he had ever seen was Yunho’s large heart shaped smile.

 

Standing behind Jaejoong, Yunho whispered, he feared raising his voice for no conscious reason known to him, “This is why I run every morning.” Because it was extra physical activity he didn’t need, as he had military training every day except for resting days. And he could have decided to stay home and sleep in.

 

“Wow!” Jaejoong muttered in awe when Yunho moved his hands and dropped them, palm down, on top of his shoulders. He squeezed lightly, sending thrills down Jaejoong’s body.

 

“I wake up extra early sometimes before the sun rise just to come here and see it crawls up the horizon. It the wondrous.”

 

Mouth gapping, eyes wide, he turned his head an inch and stared at Yunho saying in a hushed voice, “I want to see it, too.”

 

“You’d love it. We should come see it.” Yunho promised and leaned into Jaejoong and rested there, his scent stealing around the short male like vines that wanted to imprison him.

 

Jaejoong swallowed his gasp and clutched his trembling hands into fists by his sides.

 

Feeling Yunho’s larger body behind him brought Jaejoong a pleasure he knew he shouldn’t process or enjoy. Jaejoong liked it and hoped Yunho would never pull away. He felt warm and safe and ready to conquer the world and break all the rules and laws of their society with Yunho standing behind him, hands on his shoulders.

 

This is wrong.

 

Though he simply wanted to enjoy his time with him and the great view of the town, he couldn’t help but feel that he was committing a grave crime and he was letting his country down by being abnormal every time he looked in Yunho’s eyes and his heart skipped a beat and his world tilted off its axis. He was different from his brothers and sisters. Conforming unity was their strength. He was different. Yunho was different. They were different.

 

The thought was crippling.

 

Jaejoong wondered briefly how Yunho was taking things. He seemed to be treating their newfound relationship how he did everything: with an air of certainty and brightness.

 

Stifling his unwanted feelings, Jaejoong spun around and went head first into Yunho’s middle, dropping him to the grassy ground.

 

After the sound of the loud thud, laughter erupted, filling the woods. Yunho was the first one to laugh clutching Jaejoong on top of him, and it was contagious.

 

They began a little wrestling game.

 

Jaejoong managed to twist them around with him on top of Yunho who wasn’t putting up much of a resistance, reversing their prior position.

 

Like a recurrence of that night, weeks ago, Jaejoong sat down on Yunho and a bit of friction occurred as the stronger male tried to gain the upper hand.

 

A gasp that sounded nothing like a gasp filled the air around them, making Jaejoong’s ears ring, heat filled his lower belly and all the hair on his body stood at attention.

 

Yunho turned tomato red.

 

The handsome teen had sounded extremely...Jaejoong couldn't find the right word. All he knew was he liked that sound that was ripped from Yunho’s throat and he wanted to hear more. He wanted to see that expression again and again and make him let out those noise.

 

Flipping up, he pushed Jaejoong off him and brought his legs up tugging his jacket over his lower half, eyes downcast.

 

He wasn’t the only one reacting strongly to the brief contact.

 

They were normal, healthy eighteen-year old and they’ve learned the technicalities of the human body and ual arousal in their biology class. But as they both were male, it still surprised them that they could have such a reaction on the other. They shouldn’t feel that way with each other, right? But they did.

 

That could never happen, they both thought. They were males, one, and secondly neither knew how such a thing would work between two men. Could it even take place? Which once more took them back to reason number one.

 

Calming down, sitting next to each other in silence, they stared at the breathtaking view in front of them, the sun rising higher in the vast oceanic blue sky.

 

Jaejoong begun in an awkward voice, “Have you ever —” He combed his fingers through his hair. A feeling of uncertainty fleeted across his delicately painted features before disappearing as if it never were.

 

“What is it? You can tell me.” Yunho encouraged, voice warm.

 

Jaejoong went ahead with the rest of his thought, looking into the distance. “Wondered what it would be like to...travel to a different country?” He was startled at his blasphemous statement. He quickly added to redeem himself, “Just to see how horrible they truly are. Not that I think this great country of ours is lacking anything. After all, we are the ‘civilized state.’” He sent Yunho a cheeky grin.

 

Yunho returned it, rubbing his outer thigh against his. Heat pricked his lower belly before spreading through his body from where they touched.

 

“I know what you mean.” The taller male grabbed a pile of pebbles and began throwing them, one after the other.

 

“You do?” Jaejoong smiled, thankful.

 

“I do.” Yunho nodded, continuing his pebble throwing in a distracted manner.

 

They were not permitted to travel outside of their country nor have any visitors. The reason given was that it was an agreement reached between the people and the government at the creation of this country. Other countries were dirty, poor, and dangerous and were jealous of all they’ve achieved and will continue achieving. Visiting them served no purpose and even had the potential to damage their morale and their great country.

 

They didn’t need of anything in this country where they were protected, given universal health care, public education that was to par with the private education only a few wealthy individuals got to have in other countries; had no poor, homeless, and malnourished citizens and had a country that was clean because of the efforts every sister and brother put into keeping it that way.

 

They were the smartest country on earth, backed by their national test scores which could not be rivaled by other countries. Their military was like no other.

 

They had everything they could ever want. Peyisivil was the literal definition of paradise, and it was all theirs.

 

They were blessed and lucky to have been born into such a great nation. And they could never forget that. Not even for a split second.

 

They were raised with a strong sense of pride in their government and country.

 

Citizens were encouraged to travel around their country to see the different biomes, landscape and environments. They didn’t need to go to different countries to get those things because they had it there at home. Each department was different and beautifully part of Peyisivil. When they traveled they did so in comfort because they were able to communicate—though every region had a different accent due to the fact their country came together from several other tiny states. They spoke one language. The forefathers made sure of that. Language was one of the most important factors when it came to architecting common identity, national pride, ethnic pride, sense of duty, connection and love for each other and country. The food was different enough to foster a sense of adventure, but similar enough to bring comfort and similarity.

 

Other countries lacked those important ingredients, and Peyisivil citizens are told those are the reason for their downfall.

 

“Poppi have talked about other countries.” Yunho turned to look at Jaejoong, squinting. “Poppi’s great grandparents traveled out of this country and they’ve passed the experience down.”

 

They lived around the time frame when the twenty-years-war began. After the war ended their country was busy rebuilding and one of the first steps taken was to shut down all borders.

 

A spark of fire lit in Jajoong’s eyes. He attentively listened to Yunho.

 

“It is very different in other countries, I heard.” Yunho grinned at him. “Poppi said there are people out there that look nothing like us and live in countries together where they look nothing alike. They don’t speak the same language, are not the same ethnicity, and do not even have the same culture or hold the same values. Scary.”

 

They both shuddered at the thought of living amongst others who did not appreciate their culture and language as they did and looked nothing like them. It was a scary thought. They were taught that this difference was what brought many great wars—what brought their war. Similarity was the key to success.

 

“We are thankful we do not,” Jaejoong said without much thought. A taught response.

 

“Exactly.” Yunho concurred. “Could you imagine the conflicts? We are in such peaceful time because we have a common goal and are of the same mindset. We are united.”

 

“Yep.”

 

Their chest swelled with pride for their country.

 

“But,” Jaejoong started, longing clear in his voice, “I’ve always wanted to see those people, you know? I want to hear different languages. I wonder what they sound like.”

 

“Did you know there are numerous of music styles in those countries? Well, Poppi told me.” Yunho shrugged. “Each country’s music is different, and within those countries there are numerous of genres—like here.”

 

The spark of excitement in Jaejoong’s eyes made Yunho laugh. Jeejoong was a singer after all.

 

“What?” He chuckled, hitting Yunho’s shoulder playfully.

 

Keeping eye contact, he shook his head and distractedly his lip. Jaejoong hurriedly looked away.

 

Clearing his throat, he said, “Fascinating, really. It would be amazing to hear them. But I know their music, culture, and everything of theirs are inferior to ours.” Sincerity shone in the eighteen-year old’s still deepening voice.

 

“Obviously!” Yunho declared, as if the mere thought of such a thing was an impossibility.

 

In the soft silence, Yunho wondered if he should show Jaejoong the vast collections of books and pictures his Poppi saved in his library from the generational passing down of his ancestors. Jaejoong appeared as if he would enjoy them given his line of thought. He decided not. He wasn’t allowed to even tell people of those books.

 

Yunho knew they were forbidden to be in their country and in his family’s possession. Those books discussed different worlds. Worlds their school did not teach them about. Worlds they shouldn’t know anything about. Worlds that should have been incenerated in The Great Fire. Worlds Yunho did not care about. Peyisivil was the greatest and he was happy and proud to have been born there.

 

His family was committing a national crime for possessing those volumes, but it was a crime Yunho grew up with. Though he knew it was monumental, he did not find the act rebellious at all. Those books and pictures were family heirlooms and nothing more.

 

When the sun managed to burn their knees and they scooted closer, their shoulders pressing together and allowing their fingers to mingle together, they wondered guiltily if there were other people like them in those countries, deviants, and if they operated under different rules and laws. Looser ones.

 

They quickly shook the thought away because it was wrong, and they were blessed to be born in this glorious country that will never set with the sun but continue through millennia.

 

Yunho caught Jaejoong sneaking a glance at him. The general smiled softly, the corner of his almond shaped eyes crinkling, the air hitting the top row of his teeth.

 

The corner of the beautiful singer’s lips lifted, and he quickly looked away.

 

“Can I kiss you?”

 

They were both surprised at Yunho’s voice and the nature of his question.

 

They’ve kissed before and he had desperately wanted to kiss Jaejoong since they pulled apart after their last awkward kiss but asking such a question in the bright sunlight made everything feel different.

 

They felt more real and concrete.

 

He could see Jaejoong’s iris, the way it dilated, his pores, and the way the sunlight brought out the deep, rich blue of his raven hair. There was no darkness to hide either of their desires or protect their secrets.

 

A warmth spread through Jaejoong’s chest before it overtook his whole body, collected in his bones. He smiled at Yunho, calming his heart down.

 

His cheeks candy red, Jaejoong lowered his eyelids and nodded; not waiting for the teen to lean in and steal his lips, he decided to meet him halfway.

 

The act of Jaeoong leaning toward him, eyes closed, his dark, long lashes brushing his red cheeks jarred Yunho into action.

 

Stealing one final look at Jaejoong, Yunho set both of his large hands on his shoulders and pressed his lips against his, head tilted to avoid bumping their noses—lesson they learned after their first time.

 

They slowly warmed up to the kiss and the tension left their bodies. The kiss got deeper and harder.

 

Jaejoong loved kissing Yunho.

 

Yunho moaned in Jaejoong’s mouth.

 

The sound pooled low in Jaejoong’ belly with a zing and a throb and slowly cooled down.

 

Yunho gripped Jaejoong’s shoulders, pulling him closer as if he could not get enough of him, and tried to kiss him even harder. A difficult feat, given he was already giving it all he could.

 

It, they, their feelings felt too good to be anything but appropriate and right for them, even if it was potentially against their beloved country’s laws.

 

They would be fine.

 

 

Writer’s Note: Thanks to all who read the last chapter and to the two amazing commenters. I love you all. Thanks for the support. And as always, comments make me deliriously happy. You do not have to, but it would be amazing to have you engage and make my bleak days. Lots of bo, as always. Until next time, remain fabulous and gorgeous

 

P.S. Excuse distracting grammar errors and typos; I've been going through some rough days and I ended up editing this only two times.