PART II

v. Gemini

“Full of anticipation, your whispers

Like a dream, we’ve drawn together,

you and I

Will we be able to love?”

 

TAEYEON

Taeyeon's phone rings and her ringtone cuts through the air, halting the murmur of conversation taking place at the dining table. Her group mates glance over at the offending device with various states of interest; ranging from Tiffany’s nonchalant apathy to Yoona’s vested curiosity. Sooyoung's tired eyes—still half closed from morning drowsiness—glares at Taeyeon from across the table, hoping the owner of said device would put an end to the incessant ringing, and thus allow her to continue to eating in peace. The tall girl sloppily picks up her spoon—as if she were still on the verge of sleep—and manages to shovel a spoon full of cereal into . Yoona glances at Sooyoung, lips pursed and slightly downturned in concern, but the other idol shrugs the concern off with a lazy wave of her hand. Taeyeon remains still as her ringtone continues to resonate around the room.

 

"Who is it?" Yoona turns back toward to Taeyeon, bringing their attention back to the phone. The playful idol's eyes are far too bright and the idol is too full of a lively energy, a stark contrast to the lazy forms of the other members. Yoona leans closer to Taeyeon, itching to reach for the phone lying just out of her reach.

 

"It's Jessica unnie," Seohyun deduces, and she continues with her methodical application of jam onto her toast, evenly spreading the sweet fruit topping with each passing of the knife. "No one else would call Taeyeon this early on our day off."

 

"What do you mean by that Seohyun?" Sooyoung mumbles, cheeks puffed out and words garbled as she struggles to enunciate the constants, full of cereal.

 

The maknae eyes surreptitiously flicker over to Taeyeon's form before shrugging—responding to Sooyoung's question but not giving a definitive answer. Sooyoung doesn’t bother pushing further and digs her spoon into her cereal bowl again, the metal clinking against the ceramic of the bowl.

 

"It's Jessi.”

 

Tiffany says and with a nod of her head, confirms Seohyun’s deduction—the caller ID displayed on the screen of the phone was indeed that of the fashion designer.

 

The curiosity on Yoona’s face quickly morphs into excitement and splits into a wide grin.

 

“Cool! Is Jessica-unnie coming to hang out at the dorm today?”

 

Taeyeon rubs at the nape of her neck, blinking as she glances down at the still ringing phone, averting her eyes from the expectant gaze of the younger idol. She feels the weight of Seohyun and Tiffany’s gazes on her, waiting for an answer, one that would no doubt be scrutinised, just like they were doing to her in this very moment.

 

Tiffany’s concern, she understands, but it's the attention from the awfully perceptive maknae that puts Taeyeon slightly on edge, even though she technically didn't have anything to hide.

 

“I’ll be back in a minute.”

 

Taeyeon says cryptically, before slipping out of the room—away from prying eyes—phone in heavy in her hand. As she walks away, she catches a fragment of Sooyoung’s voice--the second half of a question, indicated by the characteristic rise in intonation--as for what her friend was asking, Taeyeon doesn't know. The indecipherable question floats to her ears, followed by a murmur of voices and inaudible words, echoing softly off the walls of the hallway. Taeyeon's feet continue to move, eventually carrying her out of earshot, voice fading into mere whispers of ambient noise.

 

She picks up the call.

 

“Sica?”

 

“Hey, Taengoo.”

 

Jessica’s voice, as sweet as ever, drifts through the receiver—clear and without static—as if the brunette was there in the room with her, whispering into her ear. Taeyeon furiously shakes away the mental image that suddenly forms, pushing away thoughts of Jessica's gentle touch.

 

“Did you want to come over for a bit? The others miss you, especially one cute dongsaeng named Yoona.”

 

“Are you saying you don’t?”

 

Taeyeon can hear the pout in Jessica’s voice, and she lets herself picture the expression on the fashion designer’s face; the glistening almond eyes and downturned corners of plump pink lips.

 

“What?”

 

“Are you saying you don’t miss me?”

 

Jessica clarifies and Taeyeon gulps, suddenly dry, the right words struggling to form on her tongue. She wonders if she was imagining the underlying seriousness in Jessica’s tone, its dark accents now painting the question as more than just playful banter.

 

There’s a short lull of silence of which Jessica effortlessly fills with Taeyeon’s name--the two syllables rolling off the brunette’s tongue with the well-practiced ease of familiarity.

 

“Taeyeon?”

 

Taeyeon hesitates momentarily before a sudden sense of confidence, of daring fills her being. Her voice hardens into a challenging edge, pushing the ball back into Jessica's court.

 

“Why? Did you want me to?”

 

Now, it’s Jessica who is unable to formulate a response. The silence drags on and only the quiet breathing sounds of the fashion designer resonating softly in Taeyeon’s ear are the only indications that Jessica was still on the other side of the line.

 

“You can’t answer my question with a question, Kim Taeyeon.”

 

Jessica sounds frustrated but her voice comes out soft, thin and fragile; like glass and just as easily broken. Taeyeon wonders where her own false bravado had come from and why had she become masochistic enough to constantly push their boundaries, stepping over figurative lines with no regard for consequences—wanting more and more of the other girl, all the while knowing she couldn’t have her.

 

And why did Jessica keep letting her do so-- relinquishing territory without compliant? Perhaps they were both stupid enough to entail in this elaborate dance--always just skirting on the edge of something more--after all, it took two to tango.

 

“You answer first.”

 

“No, I asked first.” Jessica says stubbornly, her frustration evident, having overpowered the fragility of her voice moments prior.

 

“At the same time?” Taeyeon compromises, trying not to find the fashion’s stubbornness endearing and attempting to focus on the conversation at hand.

 

“Okay.”

 

They pause for a beat.

 

“I wanted you to miss me.”

 

“I missed you.”

 

Taeyeon heart quickens at Jessica’s admission, biting her lip to stop the shy smile from settling on her face. Her action, however, does nothing to curb the warmth slowly spreading from her heart to the rest of her body, tinting her cheeks a faint shade of pink.

 

“So, you’ll come to the dorm, Sica?”

 

Before the other girl can answer, Yoona bursts into the room, shouting loudly and waving her lanky arms around in greeting.

 

“Taeng-unnieee!”

 

Taeyeon cringes at the volume of Yoona’s outburst, and she hears Jessica giggle at the sound of her group mate’s voice. The idol finds herself laughing along with the contagious sound.

 

“Sounds like the puppy has gotten impatient, Taengoo.”

 

“Taeng, you were gone too long, I thought you were fighting with Jessica-unnie, so I came to check up on you guys.”

 

“What? Fighti—Hang on a sec, I’ll put you on speakerphone, Sica.”

 

Taeyeon pulls the phone away from her ear and taps the speakerphone icon, allowing Jessica’s voice to fill the air.

 

“Hey Yoong! We weren’t fighting, don’t worry.”

 

“Jessica-unnie! You’re coming over right?”

 

Taeyeon shakes her head as she watches Yoona lay on the aegyo, her voice laden with an irresistible cuteness that was so characteristic of the taller idol. She knew the effectiveness of Yoona’s charm, having fallen victim to it many times. That pesky dongsaeng had cost her many dollars worth of sweets and icecreams.

 

The younger idol really knew how to bend people to her will.

 

“Jessica-unnie, I miss you.” Yoona playful whines, attempting to coax the other to join them at the dorm.

 

Taeyeon jerks almost imperceptibly, freezing with wide eyes. The words echoed her previous admission to the fashion designer, and Yoona unaware of this fact, is oblivious to Taeyeon’s reaction. Although, the words were not surprising as they were coming from Yoona—someone who naturally showed a lot of affection—Taeyeon can tell the phrase had too affected Jessica.

 

The fashion designer falls silent.

 

“You can’t leave Yoona disappointed, so you better get over here soon.” Taeyeon says after a beat, prompting the other girl to respond.

 

“Yeah…I’ll be there. See you guys soon."

/

Tiffany’s hand reaches out and catches Taeyeon, fingers finding purchase at the crook of Taeyeon’s elbow and halting her advance.

 

"You're really going to the studio?"

 

Taeyeon twists around awkwardly to face Tiffany, the grip of Tiffany's hand is still tight around her forearm.

 

"Yeah."

 

Tiffany glances towards the rest of her group mates, who were crowded around Jessica at their front door, latching onto the fashion designer, seemingly reluctant to see her leave. Taeyeon follows Tiffany's gaze, finding them were still joking around, genuine smiles of happiness on their faces.

 

"I'm surprised Tae."

 

"Why?"

 

Tiffany's grip loosens, and her hand falls back to her side.

 

"You never bring anyone to that place."

 

"I bring you guys."

 

"Besides us, I mean."

 

Taeyeon gaze lingers on Jessica's figure.

 

"I blame you for bringing up the studio in the first place because now she's curious."

 

"You could've said no." Tiffany points out.

 

Taeyeon silently shakes her head. Tiffany was wrong, at least partially. The thing is, she didn't want to say no to Jessica because it was Jessica.

 

"I better go."

 

Tiffany sighs and nods her head at Taeyeon.

 

"Yeah, you're right. Don't keep her waiting."

 

The sad and distant look in Tiffany's eyes elicits a feeling of concern within Taeyeon's chest, something felt off, like she was searching blindly in the dark and only finding its nothingness. She suddenly wants clarification, wants to know why her best friend's words were so cryptic these days--full of double meanings and confusing warnings. Had she just been imagining things? Were Tiffany's words meant to be taken at face value, merely an offhanded goodbye?

 

Taeyeon shakes her head again, trying to untangle her thoughts, to uncomplicate the mess in her mind. She had always been too much of a thinker, too much of an overanalyser.

 

The two begin making their way over to the others and her friends shift slightly allowing Tiffany and Taeyeon to squish themselves into the circle.

 

Jessica smiles at Taeyeon, little creases forming from her nose to the corner of her lips.

 

"Taeyeon unnie is so selfish and is stealing you away from us." Yoona complains, pouting at the fashion designer and sending a pointed look at the newly arrived Taeyeon.

 

"Don't blame Taengoo, I asked her if I could see the studio."

 

Jessica's eyes twinkle in amusement at Yoona's behaviour.

 

Taeyeon's wonders how they had accidentally raised a sly albeit very cute monster in the taller idol. Lim Yoona had somehow become their unofficial "maknae".

 

"Yoona's just kidding. Have fun you two! And Jessica, you might as well get her to sing something live for you." Tiffany says before jabbing her elbow into Taeyeon side painfully. Sooyoung laughs at Taeyeon's grimace and Taeyeon half regrets letting Tiffany standing next to her. She sends a glare at Tiffany because damn, her elbow was bony.

"We're leaving now." Taeyeon says moodily, gesturing to Jessica and turning around to move towards the front door. The fashion designer shoots the rest of the gang an apologetic smile before placing her two hands on the back of Taeyeon's shoulders, and trailing the idol out the front door.

/

To Taeyeon, the studio was her personal place, a place where she spent hours pouring her soul out, and carefully imbuing her melodies with its essence. It was more than a room, more than a space filled with equipment, it was almost like a direct extension of herself.

 

Tiffany had been right. Aside from her group members, she's never let anyone into her studio, especially whilst she was working. She finds it akin to sharing her innermost thoughts, stripping herself down to the her very core, leaving her feeling and vulnerable.

 

But Jessica's here and yet she feels strangely at okay with the entire situation.

 

Taeyeon calmly connects up her laptop to the various cords and cables, carefully untangling the mess, and restoring them to their rightful positions. The connections hook up without a hitch.

 

The idol watches as Jessica's curious gaze wanders, taking in every aspect of the room--from the analog clock hanging on the wall to Taeyeon's haphazard stack of notebooks on the desk--Jessica's eyes appreciating its details. There's something about the way that Jessica Jung wanders around the studio--her personal space--like she was revelling in its quiet beauty, and respecting its importance, as if acknowledging a part of Taeyeon herself.

 

"This place is nice." Jessica states as she gently trails a fingertip across a notebook on the desk, eyes not leaving Taeyeon's own and the idol feels nervous—self-conscious even. She gives a stiff shrug, attempting to come off as nonchalant, collected and completely unaffected by the fashion designer's presence.

 

“I like it.” Jessica continues.

 

Given the strange tone in the fashion designer's voice, Taeyeon’s not sure if Jessica’s talking about the space around them or something else entirely.

 

“It’s convenient.” Taeyeon answers, deflecting the topic, not entirely sure how to interpret the message Jessica was trying to send her. Her answer isn't entirely false though. As much as her studio was a place of creation, it was also an escape, offering her the convenience of leaving the world around her behind, and immersing herself in an entirely different one—One filled with endless combinations of notes and harmonies.

 

“It’s personal.” Jessica says quietly, “Thank you for letting me in here, I shouldn’t have let my curiosity make you uncomfortable, Taeyeon... I feel like I'm intruding.”

 

So Jessica had seen the studio as more than a work place. She saw past the fancy equipment and had felt the personal intimacy of it all, and had not judged what she saw but rather, grateful for Taeyeon's implicit trust.

 

“It’s okay, I was the one who brought it up remember?”

 

Jessica smiles at her like she held a galaxy of stars in her hands and had offered them to the brunette. Taeyeon almost melts at the sight, knees weakening and pulse quickening to an irrational rate. Jessica's smile is intense but soft around the edges, soft like the curve of her pink lips, or the slight tilt of her head. The afternoon light streaming through the window kisses Jessica's skin, setting it alight with a warm glow. It traces the outline of her profile with its golden fingertips, leaving Jessica looking like work of art that has Taeyeon mesmerised.

 

"Do I have something on my face?"

 

Jessica's brows furrow in worry, her lips slowly forming a pout, self-conscious at the way Taeyeon had been staring.

 

Taeyeon jerks her gaze away from Jessica, embarrassed at having being caught blatantly staring. She shakes her head quickly, in response to Jessica's question.

 

"Want to hear a song, Sica?"

 

"Oh? Is it something new?" 

 

Taeyeon nods.

 

Jessica moves closer and all Taeyeon can smell is the rose accented fragrance of the brunette—its heady scent—like the fashion designer herself—is as alluring as always. As Taeyeon navigates through various folders on her laptop, the fashion designer leans into her, pressing a shoulder against Taeyeon's own, resting against the idol comfortably.

 

"You look good with dark hair." Jessica states out of the blue.

 

In the randomness of it all, Taeyeon's