It's almost dawn now but Chaerin hasn't home yet. She probably wasted right now which disappoint me just to think about it. I remember last night when she going home drunk, just like the other nights she mumbles something unclear in her sleep and cursing at herself. I believe she has some issues but I can't approach her, she won't let me. Every time I'm trying to reach for her, she shut me down completely which hurts me. We used to be so closed to each other, we used to share everything and talk about anything. But now all there is left is never ending argument whenever we talk to each other, whenever I'm trying to figure out the she's going through. Our conversation has never going on smooth without argument since the past few months. But when she talk to Bom and Minzy her eyes sparkling and she seem happy. Was it my fault? Where did I do wrong? Why is she so mad at me? 

She's changed, completely. She's not the Chaerin I used to know 10 years ago. She completely changed into someone new. She seems like a complete strangers to me now. She hated alcohol before but look at her now, she can't live a day without taking that drunk liquid inside her body. I wonder what's the reason, what's the caused of all this changes. 

I pull up the quilt above my chest, forcing myself to sleep until I heard the door cracking. My eyes slightly open and caught her silhouette at the door tiptoe-ing trying not to make any sound. She carefully place her purse on our make up desk after she close the door.

"Welcome home."

"Jesus!" She startled. My forehead knit at her normal tone, she sounded sober which is new to me. 

"Are you drunk?" I ask purposely, trying to make sure that I'm not dreaming or something. 

She nod her head. "Never been this sober."

I rise from the bed just as quick hearing her answer, sitting on the edge of the bed. "Oh wow! I'm surprise!" Obviously. "After 7 ing months and today you choose to go home sober?!"

"Yeah. Applause for that." She said in a very sarcastic way. She turn on the light and taking off her tight jacket with her back facing me.

"Did you enjoy the party?" I ask trying to break the silence that lingers between us while she busy changing her clothes into pajamas. 

"Kinda." She answer coldly. Trust me I am used to that now. I am used to her sarcastic and cold answers. After those drastic changes, I can't expect to be treated so dearly like she used to do back then, can I? Hurt? Yeah but that's the truth. We may look friendly in front of the cameras but the reality is.. it's totally the opposite. 

"What's with the IG posts?" She turn around, facing me. I can't see anything in her eyes other than a blank stare. She is so hard to read and unpredictable most of the ing time. 

"Just me being sentimental and emotional." I said with my flat tone. I won't admit that I feel bothered with her leaving me alone in this room every night. That I am actually lonely and I needed her presence just like the old days where we get to cuddle each other before we doze off. 

"I thought you know so well how I wanted my room to keep private but you ing post the bed with all those nonsense caption. I'm amused!" Here we go again. The never ending argument at 5 ing AM. Wow Chaerin just wow.

"Low your ing voice, ! It's 5!" I got heated up. Yes I am. The fact that she keep disrespecting me and neglected my feelings got me mad. 

"And those aren't any closer to nonsense because that is how I actually feel! You have becoming so dense that you don't even notice how lonely I get for all this past few months!"

"What's the purpose?" She insisted me to answer her about my recent IG post. She don't even bother to soothe me or asking me about what I feel inside.

"I've explained myself. I don't have to repeat that again." I said coldly. My chest burning though and my head throbbing because I haven't sleep yet and the reason is.. this in front of me!

"Trying to make me look bad in front of everyone?" 

"What the are you talking about?!"

"Didn't you see the comments? Have you forgotten? Every s we did off stage, fans will linked it to any one of us! That stupid combined name! You've posted the bed which obviously ours."