"I like you. Dara, I think I like you."

Those words slipped out of my mouth without my consent. I can feel my heart stop beating for a good five seconds. The words shocking the out of me that my eyes widened and my body suddenly numb. The did I just said?! Did I.... Just confess? Or was I dreaming? Dara literally stop crying after she heard the words coming out from me. She wipe her tears with her backhand then rub her nose.

"You- What.. You.. Say..." She stutter, hardly composing a coherent sentences to say. She is just as shock as me or worse. Her confused eyes stare right into mine. At this moment, I don't even know what to feel or what to say but I can't just stay quite after a killer confession. That will only make things worsen. 

"Lee Chaerin.."

"You heard me." I said almost audible because right now I'm feeling all weak. I never expect this would happen because I never thought about liking Dara more than a friend and sister. In fact, I have never confess what's inside my heart to anyone. Not even one. But this moment, I feel like my mind is unconscious, it does not cooperate well with my heart that I suddenly blurted that words out. 

"I...."

I shake my head and quickly cut her off before she said something that might broke me into pieces. 

"It's Chaera things..." I bite my lower lips, looking at the wall behind her. I said I don't want tonight's ruin but I guess I just ruined this night by unconsciously confessing. Worse is I am still unsure if I like her more than just a friends or if it's the feeling that I get whenever I am drowning in that Chaera moments our fans made. Or I am already having that special feeling toward her that I haven't realise yet. 

"What about that?" She frowns. 

I scratch my cheek, sighing softly while thinking hard about something better to say to clarify the stupid confession and to not make her misunderstood or confused.

"This is stupid but since you told me about that name, I keep thinking about that and one day I found myself following every updates about us, Chaera. I watched the videos, read the fanfics, everything. The amount of time I've spent over this name is ridiculous."

I swallow a huge lump before I look at her. She seem a little bit calm now probably intrigued by the fact that I am updated about Chaera which is almost sound impossible to her since last year. 

"I thought you hated that name." She said and I can sense amusement in her tone. Why does this makes her happy though? 

"I did but that was before I'm drowning in to deep inside that world. I was curious. I wanted to know what makes them think..."

"We're dating or in love with each other?" She gets impatient when I paused. I nod my head, biting the tip of my tongue lightly. I get nervous and uncomfortable at the same time because we are about to talk about feeling. Something that I'm trying to figure out for months. How am I going to tell her something that I'm not sure if it's real, if it's really there. 

"But we aren't. We're not dating. Well, not until you.. You know.." She rub her palm against her cheeks which I find cute. I guess she's nervous too and probably trying not to act all awkward because who would still act normal when someone confessed to you, especially when that someone is a girl, just like you.

"I'm sorry." I said almost whispering. I don't even know why am I sorry. I don't even know why I feel the need to apologize. Maybe I'm wrong for liking her, admiring her more than friends. I'm a sinner for liking her. Maybe that's what she thought and maybe that's the reason why I feel really desperate to apologize.

"I don't know what to say." She said weakly and lean her back to the chair. It takes my whole energy to tilt my head and look at her. I suddenly feel a slight pain there. In my chest. 

"Is this why you're being an to me for 8 months?" She asked. 

I nod my head. I am unable to open my mouth, something is hitting my chest and it stung. The look on her face hurting me more. Even though she's trying to hide that expression on her face but I could see she's disgusted. I know her for far too well to not notice that. 

"You're avoiding me because you're too scared of your own feelings?" 

"Yeah. I'm scared and I am confused. This is all stupid!" I blurt out in anger, angry at myself. Mentally blaming myself because I allowed such feeling invading my heart. I allowed myself to think of her as someo