Dear Diary

I love clubs. Yeah I know it extremely weird. A person like me, having an interest in something that screams danger to all of my anxieties. The truth is you're right. If you're imagining me doing what every other youth my age does in club you are perfectly right.

But its more complex than what you're imagining. In my world I enter the club and find the most isolated corner of the club. A place extremely close to nowhere in everyone else's memories of their youthful time in here, even less insignificant than when they need to empty out their guts after they're completely smashed.(yeah Im talking about restroom)

 I find that place and I grab a drink from the bar trying not feel as outsider as I am to all the other people here. And the most joyful part of this is that everyone else are so busy drinking, partying and ing up their life that no one ever realizes I'm here. And that’s exactly why I love this place.

Well not quite. There was once another reason I loved this place. The truth is He was a frequent here …

-"Was" I whispered looking at the word pressing my pen so hard on the paper I felt the tip of the pen going inside and my heart sank at the same time.

-now what? are you accepting it now?" said an extremely annoying voice in my head called Mr logic.

-Shut up" I thought trying to defend myself

-Even "Was" is not the right verb you idiot. He was never there to begin with" It spat back.

-I'm not starting this agai…"I started but stopped  as I felt a shadow hovering over my seat. So I slowly looked up hoping with every ounce of my body it was just someone walking by. But Its not like my wishes would ever come true you know.

-Hey" He said although I barely heard it through the loud music.

I gulped looking directly into his pupils and then looking around trying to remember all the social skills I kind of put on hold when I entered this place. The silence went for a few more seconds and I could hear Logic louder and louder. "Say something you idiot. You're just m-aking things even more awkward." I slowly opened my mouth trying to make a hearable sound.

-Hey, Jungkook How you doing?

-Good … um … what are you doing here?

I tried to not look terrified of the question I didn’t want to answer specially to him but Im note sure how much my expression was betraying me so I quickly smiled and looked down saying :

 -you know the usual stuff … drinking, listening to music. "Its not usual you weirdo, no one comes to club just to drink and listen to music you idiot" Mr logic mentally mocked me and I tried not to give in still smiling at him.

He pushed a chair back and sat across me and I unconsciously closed my diary trying to not be too obvious and waited for his response.

-Its great to see you here, I was actually here for the music as well. My friend is going to perform here tonight.

-Cool ! The performances are great here arent they?

-Yeah it is … are you a frequent here?

-No .. I mean yeah … I guess .

-how come I've never seen you here before?

I opened my mouth to say something but I could see Mr Logic handing me the white flag smiling victoriously in the corner of my head as I tried to come up with an excuse of why exactly my whole existence is so invisible for everyone. I kind of gave in so I just sincerely replied:

-Well I guess I don’t  usually hang around the crowded part, maybe that’s why. "Great job labelling yourself as an official weirdo" Mr Logic whispered in my head .

-Yeah same, Im not into being in the crowd as well to be honest.

-Really?

-Yeah! I rather just have a couple of drinks and talk with my friends. Not really into crazy stuff.

I smiled a bit confused as I was feeling something I haven't experienced for a while now. I put my guards down and I wasn’t a