February 2015, One week later

The days went by and VIXX continued with their rehearsals for their comeback. They were awake at the crack of dawn and into the practice studio within the hour, and often only heading back to their dorm near midnight.

“N-hyung?”

Hakyeon looked up from his phone while seated on the couch in the living room. It was the night before their first promotional stage for ‘Love Equation’, and Hakyeon was jotting down his thoughts and reflections for the interview segment. He saw Hyuk hovering near the television.

“What is it?” Hakyeon asked, putting away his phone. He patted the seat next to him on the couch. “Come, sit.”

Hyuk sat down, and then paused. “I’m worried about tomorrow,” he finally confessed quietly. “This song is so different.”

Hakyeon knew what he meant. The past year, the concepts that VIXX had been promoting had been pretty intense, and being a concept idol group, it was something that had defined them to the fans. Their promotional song this time around was light-hearted and well, somewhat childish.

To be honest, Hakyeon was also worried about the same thing. He understood that this song was a promotion of their special release album, which reflected the theme of childhood and memories, but even he had doubts about the success of it. Not that he would share this with Hyuk though; as leader he had to communicate confidence.

Hakyeon pulled Hyuk into a shoulder hug and patted him encouragingly. “I know it’s different,” he said. “But I’m sure our fans will like it. Remember in 2013 when we did GRU8? The fans loved it. This is pretty similar too.”

Hyuk smiled a small smile. “Yeah GRU8 was fun.”

Hakyeon laughed. “Then don’t you think this will be even more fun? I know you were having a lot of fun during the practices,” he teased.

“Everyone was, including you! It’s all part of the song theme!” Hyuk said defensively.

“Precisely.” Hakyeon smiled. “See, you know what’s the message behind the song and why we are doing it this way. So, just communicate it confidently tomorrow.”

“Thanks hyung. I’ll remember.” Hyuk stood up to leave. “I’ll go to bed now. Sleep soon, hyung. Goodnight.”

“I will. Goodnight, Hyuk.”

Hakyeon carried on with his reflections and thoughts and almost lost track of time. It was not until Taekwoon flopped beside him on the couch that he looked up at the clock and realized that it was nearly 2am. “Why are you not sleeping yet?” He asked Taekwoon.

Taekwoon shrugged. “Soon,” he said simply. Then he pulled out the bottle of pills and shook it before setting it down on the couch between them. “Don’t forget to take them,” he said, standing up. “And sleep soon, Hakyeon. You know your eyes get puffy when you lack sleep and are falling sick.”

Hakyeon was touched by his best friend’s concern. “Thanks Taekwoon. I’ll be in soon.” He packed up his things and headed to the kitchen to get water for his pills before making his nightly rounds to check that his dongsaengs were sleeping.

-----

Jung Eunji gave a sigh and lay on her hotel bed as she heard the shower in the adjourning bathroom come on. Her roommate and good friend Yoon Bomi had just started her turn in the shower, and it would likely be 20 minutes before she was out. They were getting ready for bed after their flight into Japan and had a fan meeting early the next morning.

Eunji and Bomi are part of a 6-member girl group Apink. The other members in their group were their leader Park Chorong, dongsaengs Son Naeun and Kim Namjoo, and maknae Oh Hayoung. Eunji was recruited into the group as the main vocalist, while the rest were better skilled in dance. The group debuted in 2011, and has since been very well received and successful in the music industry, earning awards for their songs, albums and choreography. Unlike a lot of the other girl groups, Apink chose to keep to their sweet, innocent and fairy-like image, instead of going down the y path. Eunji, for one, was glad of the decision. For the life of her, she could not imagine having to dance ily and ooze appeal. She had a naturally friendly and outgoing nature, and constantly needed something to occupy her energy. She enjoyed sports and adventurous activities – she sometimes wondered if she should have been born as a boy.

This was ironic of course, given that she is now a member of a female idol group with the sweetest, most innocent image in the market. Eunji is the eldest in her small family unit of four. She had a brother much younger than her, and hence was glad that she did not have to portray a y image – she could not imagine her family reacting well to that, and not to mention how embarrassing that would be. They had initially frowned upon her decision to become a trainee, and were even more displeased when she eventually made it to an idol group. Her mother pleaded with her to use her singing prowess elsewhere, and warned her about the dangers of being an idol. Her parents eventually came around to the idea of her being in Apink, and they compromised by her promising that she would not change and would still be their Eunji. Till date, Eunji has tried not to let the idol industry influence her, and remained grounded in her family values. Eunji was grateful that her Apink members also shared the same values as she did, and so together they withstood the pressures of having to be something they were not. Thankfully, their company also bought into their decision to remain different, and have not forced them otherwise. Besides, their album sales and popularity spoke for themselves, and so there was no reason to spoil a good thing.

Nothing much changed since their debut 4 years back, and Eunji was glad of that. Well, except her body shape and size. That was inevitable.

Eunji’s phone buzzed indicating that she had a text message. Eunji glanced at the name of the sender. Well, make that another thing that has changed, Eunji thought somewhat resignedly. Her mother was right about one aspect of idol life – the total lost of privacy. Eunji initially brushed her off; how bad could it get right? But now that she was in this… situation, she never treasured her freedom more than anything else.

Eunji swiped to open the text message.

“Annyeong Eunji! How is Japan? Is it very cold? Did you pack enough warm clothing? Not sure if you are asleep yet, but good luck for your fan meets tomorrow! Fighting!”

Eunji’s heart warmed and she smiled widely, her frustration towards her non-freedom slipping away as she read the message and typed out her reply.

“Annyeonghaseyo! Japan is very nice. It is very cold here, but don’t worry I have packed enough clothes. Thank you for the well wishes! I am not asleep yet, but will be soon. You should sleep too! You have schedules tomorrow!”

A reply came back less than a minute later.

“Yes I have schedules, but this is more important! (: Speaking of schedules, I have a free break mid next month! Can you meet with me then? Please please please say yes.”

Eunji smiled at his childishness. Despite him being her oppa, he occasionally displayed a child-like nature that, while she often showed her disapproval, she actually found quite endearing.

Eunji frowned as she did a mental calculation. She was not too sure of her schedule in mid-March, but she knew that the group would be busy with their new album after they got back from her promotions in Japan. Eunji groaned. She remembered that she also had to finish her songwriting by then to make it in time for the group’s 4^th year anniversary.

“I’m not sure, but I will check! We could be busy with a new album :(“

Eunji could sense some frustration arising in her towards their conflicting schedules. She had missed him dearly, and their ever-busy schedules were always in the way. She almost wished she were not an idol.

“:( Please try? Even if for a couple of hours. I really really miss you and I really really want to see you.”

Eunji felt a pang in her heart as she read his sincerity. But she was equally stuck in the situation that had too many external factors for her to control. Just then, Eunji noticed the shower being turned off. She hurriedly typed out her reply.

“I will try oppa, I promise! I have to go now, Bomi is coming out of the shower soon. Sleep soon okay? I miss you too <3”

Eunji quickly deleted all the text messages, and barely had time to read the reply that came in before Bomi came out of the bathroom.

“Okay, goodnight Eunji. Saranghae! <3”

“Are you okay Eunji?” Bomi asked as she toweled down her wet hair in front of the mirror.

“What? Yeah, I’m fine,” Eunji said casually as she switched off her phone and tossed it on the bed, her heart still beating fast. “Just tired, I guess.”

Bomi groaned. “Tell me about it,” she said. “We have to be up at 6am tomorrow.”

Eunji laughed as she gathered her clothes and headed to the bathroom, patting Bomi’s head along the way. “You better sleep soon, then Sleeping Beauty.”

She heaved a sigh once she was in the bathroom alone with the door shut. That was close, she thought, as she started to get ready for her shower.

Eunji knew that she was walking a very thin and dangerous line. But she couldn’t help it. She could not stop feeling this way for him, and him for her. But because of tight monitoring, busy schedules and their very public statuses, there was no way they could reveal their relationship to anyone without causing a reaction. So this was the only way they could maintain their relationship.

But the thoughts that occupied Eunji as she started her shower, much like most of her thoughts recently, was: How long can we keep it up like this?