September 2015, The day before Chuseok

In Guk glanced at his watch as a train pulled out from the station. He had been waiting for the past hour and a half, anxious and unsure if it will all ultimately be a waste of time.

He and Eunji had been meeting up during the Chuseok period to travel home together for the past two years. It was not that they or their family were particularly religious, but it was a time when they could both be certain of a clear schedule for at least a couple of days. That and also that it was during this time two years back when they officially became a couple, so while celebrating their first year anniversary last year, they agreed that the Chuseok celebrations would always be a milestone for them each year.

Which was also the reason that In Guk was seizing this opportunity to try and win Eunji back again. He could only hope with all his might that Eunji had the same sentiments.

In Guk looked at his watch again. 10:57pm. The last train to Busan would be leaving at 11:50pm – the same train timing that they took together the previous two years. For two simple reasons: one, they could sleep through the train ride (the journey takes about 5 hours) and reach Busan slightly before dawn; and two, it was a timing that had little passengers, and getting to Busan before dawn meant that they could make their way to Eunji’s family home without being spotted too. If Eunji showed up, it would be likely that she would come in time for the last train, but In Guk wanted to play safe and hence arrived at the station after dinner in case she showed up early. In Guk stared out into the darkness beyond the station, his mind mentally going over what he would say if she turned up.

His thoughts were disrupted by muffled giggles and whispers to his left. He glanced over and saw three teenage girls nudging each other and whispering as they looked in his direction. They immediately turned away when he looked up, and In Guk’s heart sank. He had dressed simply, and had a cap and facemask on to prevent being spotted. He quickly looked down, hoping that the girls would just giggle and walk away.

However, he felt his heartbeat increase as he heard the shuffling of feet coming towards him. There is no choice In Guk, he told himself. You need to give some fan-service if they spot you. In Guk just hoped that Eunji would not choose that moment to turn up.

“Excuse me, are you Seo In Guk?”

-----

Eunji watched as the 3 girls approached In Guk, careful to keep herself hidden behind the pillar. In all the previous times that they met up in secret, they have never been noticed or approached, and Eunji hoped to keep it that way. Apart from getting into trouble with her company, she was afraid of the backlash that In Guk might suffer from his female fans. And they are the majority of his fan base.

Eunji watched as In Guk gamely posed for a selfie with the girls, and caught his attention after the photo was taken. Surprise lit up his face as she gave him a small smile, and he tilted his head slightly in acknowledgement, careful that the fans not notice.

Eunji saw the tell tale signs of In Guk’s impatience – his glancing up at her direction, the shifting of weight from one foot to the other – but he still continued to speak with the girls after autographing their books. This was one of the many things that she liked about him – he always treated people, and women in particular, with respect and dignity. She knew that to him, it did not matter if you were a fan, an elderly person or the CEO of his company, everyone deserve to be treated well and with respect.

At that moment, Eunji realized that she felt at peace with the decision that she had made. Granted, there was going to be challenges and what was done in the past cannot be undone, but she felt safe knowing that In Guk has not changed and was still the man she grew to love from the time she knew him. She leaned against the pillar, back towards In Guk and his fans, her heart pounding and mind racing. She thought of what she was going to say to him.

The next thing she knew, In Guk was standing to her right, looking at her intently. If she did not know better, she would have thought him intimidating with his tall frame and unsmiling face. But she saw the signs of his tentativeness – he stood too straight, and his eyes were filled with uncertainty.

“Eunji?”

She bit her lip and smiled.

“Annyeong, oppa. I’m here.”

-----

They were sitting in the exact same booth of the restaurant as they did two years back. Eunji felt fidgety – she did not quite know what to say or how to act.

The waitress came and left after taking their order, oblivious to who they were and the awkwardness that was exuding from them.

In Guk looked equally unsure of how to act around her too. He cleared his throat and took a sip of water, just as Eunji reached out to do the same.

“So, how –“

“In Guk-oppa –“

They started together and stopped. They looked at each other and blushed.

“You go ahead,” In Guk told Eunji.

Eunji wet her lips. “I…,” she started and swallowed. “How are you, oppa?”

In Guk gave a tiny smile. “I have been okay,” he answered. “Been busy with filming, working out new music, meeting fans…” he shrugged. “The usual.”

Eunji nodded. “That’s nice,” she commented. “I’ve been doing that too,” she said with a small laugh.

In Guk smiled. “I heard. You have a drama coming out soon, right? Congratulations.”

Eunji blushed. “Kamsamida. We just ended filming for that two days back,” she explained. “Just in time for the Cheusok holidays, I guess. Oh, Hakyeon is in it too. And Ji Soo, you know him too right?”

In Guk nodded. “I saw the teasers on TV the other night. Looks like a fun show to watch.”

“So are you going to watch it?” Eunji ventured with a slight grin.

In Guk tilted his head in consideration. “Well, I guess it depends. Did you watch my drama?” He joked just as the waiteress came back with their orders.

There was silence as their orders were served and the waitress walked away.

“I did.”

In Guk looked up at Eunji, not understanding.

Eunji cleared . “I did,” she repeated. “I watched your drama.”

In Guk broke out into a smile. “Did you enjoy it?”

Eunji smiled back. “I did.”

“I’m glad.” Another smile.

A couple of bites later, In Guk spoke. “You know I’ll watch yours too right?”

“You will?”

“Of course,” he replied, picking at his food. “I have been following what you’ve been doing these past months.”

Eunji just stared at him.

“Nothing’s changed,” he continued. “I still think about you every day.”

Something in her heart broke at this statement. Something so simple, yet so deep; something so matter-of-fact, yet possessed so much meaning. Eunji did not know how to respond, nor understood what she did to have deserved him.

How could I have doubted his love? How could I have doubted what we had?

She stopped eating a few bites later, her guilt of the past few months gnawing away at her appetite. In Guk noticed this. “Are you full already?” He asked.

“Kind of,” she lied.

In Guk noted her hands clasped on her lap as if to stop from fidgeting, and her eyes that wandered and darted around the room. He put down his cutlery too.

“Shall we talk a walk then?” He asked.

Eunji looked at him in surprise. “Are you not going to finish your food too?”

In Guk waved it off. “Not that hungry either,” he lied. “Come on, let’s take a walk.”

-----

In Guk and Eunji walked side by side in silence along the canal behind the restaurant. They were not quite touching each other, but walked close enough to each other to feel the occasional brushing of arms and fingers.

They came to a stop at a small, rounded lookout that extended out slightly to give a view of the canal, lights bouncing off the reflection in the water.

Finally Eunji broke the ice. “Oppa,” she said tentatively.

“Hmm?”

“I…” Eunji started. She took a deep breath. “I’m sorry for taking such a long time to think and decide.” She paused, as In Guk continued to listen intently, nodding to encourage her to continue.

“I know that the past few months have been difficult, and that it was mostly my fault.” She shook her head as In Guk was about to protest. “No, it is,” she insisted. “The business with Sunny… I should have trusted you and not the press. It was wrong of me to have accused you and not trusted you. If our relationship cannot be built on trust, then how can it stand, right?”

In Guk gave her a reassuring smile. “Yes, trust is important,” he conceded. “But understanding is also equally important. I should have considered how it was for you to have had to go through that, and not be so quick to expect you to act a certain way.”

Eunji shook her head. “I felt insecure even though you have done all you could to assure me. That was something I had to overcome.”

“I could have been there and understood that better,” In Guk insisted. “I didn’t even know that you felt insecure… how could I have missed that?”

“No, I never told you about it and always kept it to myself.”

“Even so, I should have realized it…”

They looked at each other, and burst out laughing.

“Why are we even arguing about this?” In Guk wondered.

Eunji giggled. “I don’t know.”

In Guk reached out his hand to Eunji. She accepted it shyly.

“Eunji…” In Guk said softly.

Eunji bit her lip and gave a soft laugh. “But I think you can guess that since I am here with you, it means that I’m sorry that I doubted you and doubted our love. Can we…” She swallowed. “Can we start over?”

In Guk exhaled loudly as he took a step forward and wrapped his arms around Eunji, much like how he did the very first time they got together. “Oh Eunji,” he whispered into her hair, his voice shaking. “You don’t know how relieved I am.”

Eunji reciprocated the hug, tension leaving her body as she started to giggle in relief too. Feeling his safe and secure embrace… Eunji closed her eyes briefly and whispered a prayer of thanks.

They stood in each other’s embrace for a while before In Guk pulled away from the hug, but continued to grip her shoulders tightly. Eunji saw that his eyes where shining, and immediately felt a stab of guilt.

He really loves me, she realized. But the words that he said to her then shook her world completely. 

“But I don’t want to start over,” he whispered. 

----------