April 2015, Two weeks later

“WHOOO TAEKWOON IS TEXTING A GIRL!!!”

VIXX were taking a break during their dance practice for their concert, and everyone was sprawled on the floor exhausted by the intense choreography. Well at least Hakyeon thought everyone was. Apparently despite his loud self-proclaimed exhaustion, Jaehwan still managed to wriggle his way next to Taekwoon and catch a glimpse of his phone screen.

“Who is it? Who? Who?” Hongbin and Hyuk immediately sat up and clamored over Taekwoon, trying to grab his phone. Jaehwan managed to escape Taekwoon’s quick reflexes and made it out with just a punch to his back and death glare that followed.

“It’s Eunji from Apink! Euuunji!” Jaehwan shouted before bolting out of the door to the next room. Taekwoon broke himself free from Hongbin and Hyuk, and gave chase. The rest of the boys continued laughing as they heard Jaehwan’s mock cries of pain.

“Oh Hakyeon-omma! Save me from appa!”

Hakyeon rolled his eyes at Jaehwan’s attempts to get him involved, but got up anyway and walked towards the next room. This was a running joke between the members in the band – they somehow all fit into the roles of a typical family. Hakyeon was the omma because of his constant mothering and nagging at them as the leader, and because Taekwoon was also of the same age and superbly quiet, he was labeled as appa. Jaehwan took the role of the rebellious eldest son, Hongbin and Ravi as the comical twins, and Hyuk as the cute baby.

Taekwoon walked out into the practice room calmly before Hakyeon could reach the scene of the crime, with his phone tight in his hand. Hakyeon peeked into the next room and laughed when he saw Jaehwan on the floor, curled up and exaggerating his groans. Hakyeon offered a hand to Jaehwan as he chided him, “One day Taekwoon will really tear your head off, you’ll see.”

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“The caller you are trying to reach is currently unavailable. Please try again later.”

Jung Eunji released the deep breath that she had been holding the entire duration of the dial tone. Don’t pick up, don’t pick up, don’t pick up. Her wishing worked.

“Well?” Bomi demanded.

“He didn’t answer,” Eunji was careful to make her tone of voice flippant. “See, I told you.”

“Try again,” Bomi insisted, grabbing the phone from Eunji’s hand and pressing to re-dial. “Maybe he didn’t hear it ring the first time.”

“Maybe he’s busy!” Eunji snapped as she snatched her phone back, hiding it behind her back. “Can we please just let it go? There’s no urgency and no need,” she pleaded with Bomi.

“Jung Eunji! I would believe you if I didn’t know any better,” Bomi said sternly. Then she softened. “The single was written by you, don’t you want to let him know?”

Eunji looked away. “He doesn’t need to know,” she mumbled.

“But, Eunji…”

“Can we please just let it go?” She pleaded again. “You asked me to give him a call and I did. He didn’t pick up. So it’s a sign; let’s not bother anymore.”

“You need this, Eunji,” Bomi tried to reason. “You’re still holding onto the past. That’s why this is the best way to let it go; to say it all and walk away.”

Eunji kept silent. Finally she spoke in a determined voice, “I wrote the single, let me decide.” With that, she walked out of the room, head held high before her tears could betray her.

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Later that night in the dorm, Hakyeon plopped himself beside Taekwoon as he was fiddling with his phone. “So… Eunji?” Hakyeon asked casually, with a glint in his eye.

“We’re just friends. Apink just released a new single a couple of days ago, and Eunji wrote it. I was just texting her congratulations.”

“Ahh, I see.”

Hakyeon was familiar with who Eunji is. She is the main vocalist from Apink, their sunbaneim, and VIXX had met with both her and the group at the backstage of many music programs and concerts. Taekwoon, in particular, was close to Eunji after they spent several months performing together on ‘Full House’ the musical last year. Hakyeon himself had never had a personal, in-depth interaction with her before, but he remembered her warm and bubbly personality.

In actuality, VIXX had first met with Eunji way back in 2012 when they first debuted – she had been In Guk’s leading lady on his first drama role. Back then, Hakyeon could not remember having much interaction with her as VIXX was mainly there to show their support for In Guk-hyung, and of course, was also in awe of their first ever visit to a filming location.

“Okay then, wish her our congratulations too on behalf of VIXX too,” Hakyeon told Taekwoon as he stood up from the couch. “I’m going to bed first, goodnight.”

Taekwoon nodded, but did not make a move for a moment. Instead, he stared into space, deep in thought, his phone tightly clasped in his hands.

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Across the city, Eunji was mirroring the same action as she sat in the balcony of her dorm. She had tried to sleep after her shower, but after tossing and turning for half an hour, she gave up and went to the living room instead. She was not used to such silence in the dorm – everyone else was fast asleep after the strenuous rehearsals today – and this was dangerous as there was nothing to distract her from the cycle of thoughts that have been weighing her down even more so recently.

Her relationship with Seo In Guk.

No one knew that they were actually dating, except hers and his immediate family. Not any of the Apink members, not even Bomi was aware. Eunji always felt guilty that she was keeping such a huge secret, but she had no choice. Her company had completely forbidden her to be involved in relationships during their contract (which is for seven years by the way), for fear that it would cause a scandal and upset fans. In Guk’s company was less explicit; but then again, he was older and already an established celebrity.

Bomi had thought that Eunji had fallen for In Guk after Reply 1997, but that the love was not reciprocated and Eunji had not gotten over it. This was far from the truth. In fact, Eunji had originally thought In Guk as a playboy and was extra careful to keep her emotional distance. He was naturally charismatic and easily charmed the entire female cast members and crew, which were alarm bells for Eunji then. But In Guk seemingly only had eyes and concern for Eunji, and tirelessly pursued her even while they were still filming (subtly of course). Eunji had rejected him initially, afraid that it was just a passing phase because of how closely they worked together, but In Guk was persistent. He continued even after filming and promotions had ended, and Eunji eventually caved in after she realized that his charisma and charm were not just a façade. Well, that and the fact that she finally admitted to herself that she had feelings for him all this time too.

In Guk was different from all the other guys that she had met in the entertainment industry. He was down-to-earth and humble, despite his rising celebrity status. But what drew Eunji to him the most was his honesty, and how safe and comfortable she felt when she was with him. It was somehow like he could cast a spell on her and make her share things with him that she would never have shared with anyone, even Bomi. He always looked out for her, even back when they were filming, and made her feel understood and protected.

After Reply 1997 and all its promotions, they continued to keep in contact through texts and occasional phone calls, but never quite established their relationship. It was pretty obvious that he liked her – he made no secret of it to her even while they were filming – and Eunji found herself reciprocating more and more to him. It wasn’t until nearly a year after Reply 1997 before they went on their first official date – a deserted restaurant in one of the districts nearly 2 hours’ drive away from Seoul. Even then, they travelled separately and only met up halfway when they were far enough from the city. It was there that they officially sealed their relationship…

September 2013

Eunji nervously rubbed her gloved hands together as she stepped off the bus and looked around the terminal. It was autumn now, and although not terribly cold yet, the excitement and nervousness in her veins were making her more susceptible to the weather changes that were happening around her. It had been a while since she had travelled on her own, without her manager, aide, or any of the Apink members. Oh and did she mention that she was travelling to a location that none of them know about (they thought that she was making a visit to her family in Busan), and going to meet the one guy that could make her insides melt just by his lopsided grin?

Eunji glanced nervously around as she kept her eyes peeled for anyone who might look vaguely familiar and may recognize her. She had dressed simply, with a dark plain coat and her hair down to cover most of her face. She even went without her signature red lips and opted for a lighter, natural make up look instead. Eunji took a deep breath as she closed her eyes and counted slowly in attempt to calm herself down. Don’t be so paranoid, she chided herself. There’s hardly anyone around here. Relax!

When she opened her eyes, she caught sight of a familiar, tall and lanky figure making his way towards her. She subconsciously broke out into a smile as she walked towards him.

“Eunji,” In Guk breathed when he got near, a wide smile on his face.

“Oppa,” Eunji blushed, unsure of how to act. Do I hug him? Shake hands? Should I go closer?

“I’m so glad to see you,” In Guk continued in a low voice and taking a step towards her such that there was barely a feet between them. “I was afraid you wouldn’t show or got lost getting here.”

“You gave good directions,” Eunji replied, her eyes twinkling.

In Guk smiled as he offered his hand to her. “Come on, let’s get out of this cold.”

Eunji blushed as she took his hand and followed him. Her heart beat even wilder when he linked their fingers, as if it was the most natural thing in the world, and led her down the street.

Eunji held her breath as they entered an Italian restaurant at the end of the street. The handful of customers paid no attention to them as they were ushered to a booth near the back. The waitress also did not blink as she welcomed them and handed them their menus.

In Guk reached over and squeezed her hand after the waitress left with their order. “Relax,” he said assuringly. “No one will recognize us here.”

“I know,” Eunji replied. “I think I’m just being paranoid. I’ve never done anything like this before,” she confessed.

“I should hope not,” In Guk said jokingly. “I didn’t think you were in the habit of meeting guys in secret.”

Eunji blushed. “No, I meant the doing things without letting anyone know part!”

In Guk nodded, assuring her that he understood. He squeezed her hand again and linked their fingers. “But I’m glad you came,” he said, voice thick with emotion.

Eunji looked up at him, mirroring his sincerity. “I am, too.”

The rest of the dinner continued without a hitch. There were occasional moments of silence where they looked at each other and laughed awkwardly, but for most part they seemed to have found their rhythm and were talking comfortably like they did last year.

After dinner, they walked along the canal behind the street, hands linked in comfortable silence. After a while, In Guk stopped suddenly and turned to Eunji. “I’m really, really glad that you agreed to meet me and are here with me now,” he said sincerely.

Eunji giggled. “I know, oppa. You have told me this a few times.”

In Guk blushed and gave her a sheepish grin. “I just really wanted you to know.”

Eunji squeezed his hand. “I know.”

They walked for a bit more before In Guk stopped again. Eunji looked at him. “Is something wrong?” she asked, concerned.

In Guk bit his lip nervously. “Eunji,” he started.

Eunji looked at him expectantly.

“Will you consider being in an exclusive relationship with me?” In Guk asked in a rush. “I know your company does not allow it, and it’s dangerous for you to do so. But I admit that I am selfish and I want more of such moments like this with you, and more than just text messages that we have been exchanging the past year. Without having to feel insecure and wonder whenever I see you with other guys…” He swallowed. “To know that when you smile or laugh or are upset and cry, I’ll be the first one you’ll call so that I can be there to share the happiness and burdens with you.”

Eunji was speechless. She had never heard such sincere and heartfelt words, and she was both shocked and glad. Shocked that In Guk was actually feeling such way about her, and yet glad that he trusted her and felt safe enough with her to put himself in such a vulnerable position.

“You mean… like be your girlfriend?” She finally spoke.

In Guk gave a small laugh. “Yes, in not so many words. Be my girlfriend.”

Eunji was also torn. She had never been in love before, but what she was feeling for this guy in front of her seemed pretty close to whatever she had read in novels or poems. Yet, the logical side of her was also sounding alarm bells about the huge risk that she would be taking in defying the company’s strict rules.

“But, how?” was all she managed to stammer as she tried to gather her thoughts. “I do not get much vacation time, and neither do you. When will be the next time we get to meet again?”

In Guk pulled both her hands and held them in his. “I don’t know,” he confessed, shaking his head. “I haven’t thought about it yet. But I know that I want to fight for this, and I will spend every moment that I can to meet with you and make this work,” he said fiercely. “But I need to know if you will be willing to fight for this too.”

Eunji stared at him, getting lost in his eyes while trying to fight her logical brain. “Why, oppa?” she whispered. “You can date anyone else without restrictions and secrecy. Why me? You could get into trouble too and all your hard work earning your reputation would be gone. Why take the risk -”

“Because you make me laugh and make me forget about my popularity and who I am supposed to be,” he interjected. “You make me want to write love songs just for you and to shout it out from the mountaintops.” He placed her hand over his heart. “You make my heart beat wild whenever you are near. I just can’t help it; I’m drawn to you and there is no way else around it.”

Eunji looked at him helplessly. How could she go against a confession like that? “I… I have never been in a serious relationship before,” she confessed. “I don’t know what to do.”

“Just say yes,” In Guk pleaded. “Give us a chance. Give me a chance to show you what love is. Let me be the source of your happiness, and the one to share your burdens and chase your blues away. I want to be part of your life,” he added sincerely.

Eunji looked into his eyes that were pleading with her. She felt herself melt. “I want that too,” she finally confessed, both to him and herself. “But are we ready for this?”

In Guk pulled her into a tight hug. With their height difference, his cheek rested on the top of her head, fully embracing her. “Your love and willingness to try is all I need,” he whispered.

Eunji returned his hug, squeezing him tightly and enjoying his warmth as she laid her cheek against his chest. She could hear and feel his heart beating fast, mirroring hers. Unexpectedly, she felt tears prick into her eyes. Her heart never felt so full and complete.

In Guk pulled back slightly to look at her, his eyes shining. “So is that a yes?”

Eunji made her decision. She smiled and nodded shyly. “Yes,” she whispered.

In Guk swopped in immediately to capture her lips, his fingers tilting her chin up, kissing her tenderly and lovingly. Eunji melted into the moment as she clung onto him, returning his passion. She could swear that there were fireworks overhead…

Eunji’s fingers brushed her own lips as she recalled the moment. What would I give to go back to that again, she thought. With both their busy schedules and hardly ever the chance of meeting up, Eunji wasn’t quite sure how to define their relationship now.

Is it even a relationship if they only met 5 times in the past 2 years? No, 4 times, Eunji corrected herself. Considering the extent of their argument, the last meet up cannot be considered.

Eunji sighed as she pushed the painful memories of that night out of her mind. It was not going to help her sleep. Eunji got up and headed to the kitchen to make some tea instead – hopefully she could get a least a couple of hours’ sleep before another busy day tomorrow.

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