“Will you stop making that stupid face! This is ing serious! I am being forcibly pursued by a roommate, who is a ual deviant!”

 

Quishi continued to make his tea with the same idiotic, and particularly vexing face. His lips were pursed in mild amusement and his eyes half hooded and squinty as if he could look through me if he stared hard enough.

 

The tinkling of the spoon as he stirred his tea was beginning to grate on my nerves and he continued to just let his eyes do the talking.

 

“Why the are you still stirring your damn tea! It could not possibly need anymore mixing! Put the ing spoon down and help me you !”

 

I watched with frayed nerves and a hot temper as my best friend slowly picked up his cup and took an irritating sip. He slurped it intentionally then rolled the liquid around his mouth before swallowing and letting out a pleasant sigh of satisfaction.

 

I was livid. I had reached my limit with this ing game Quishi wanted to play. Slamming my hand down on the table I stood up and hovered over him.

 

“YOU ARE NOT A ING WINE TASTING! PUT. THE. CUP. DOWN!”

 

Quishi placed the cup on the saucer and leaned back crossing his legs.

 

“What’s the problem?”

 

Did this simple-minded just ask me what the problem was? I have been here for almost an hour explaining the situation to him and now he wants to pretend like he doesn’t know!

 

“What actual are you saying right now? What do you mean what’s the problem?! My roommate is a ual predator and ert and he is trying to recruit me in his evil ways. You are my friend you are supposed to support me!”

 

Quishi let his jaw fall slack before laughing in my face. I should slap his lips off his face for the insult. My best friend laughed until tears rolled down his cheeks and his face flushed red from the effort.

 

“Are you done? No? Well, go ahead and finish having a laugh at my expense. It's not like your closest friend is having a life crisis.”

 

I turned to leave when I felt him grab my shoulder. He was still struggling to control his mirth.

“I am sorry for laughing, but I fail to see how he is forcing you to do anything. You just said you begged him to you on several occasions. Maybe he was coerced by your incessant whining and pleading. You would be the ual deviant then playing on his kind feelings, forcing his hand by manipulating his emotions.”

 

If I had a weapon I would have killed my now ex-best friend for that bull. As luck would have it, I didn’t so I settled on throwing his hand off me and slapping him the back of the head.

 

“What ing nonsense are you spewing now!?”

 

Quishi ducked and rubbed his head and darted across to put some distance between him and his violent little friend.

 

“Oh, calm down I just teasing you. I simply mean you are just as responsible for what is happening between you two as Qing. You could always adamantly say no, but you don’t so whose fault is then. From what I understand you seem incapable of refusing the man.”

 

I could not believe the ery spewing from Quishi’s mouth. I didn’t even have a response to that ignorance so I just turned to leave. My hand had just touched the doorknob when Quishi finally said something of use.

 

“Why not turn the tables on him?”

 

I froze with my hand on the handle.

 

“Turn the tables?”

 

I could hear Quishi slowly creeping closer to me as he tried to best voice his idea.

 

“He seems to be all about teaching you lessons on how to behave better and school your reactions. What if you did the same? Qing is a known iceberg. What if you could unthaw that perfected frozen expression of calm and break him into a frazzled mess?”

 

I spun around and rushed to stand in front of my once again best friend. I grabbed his shoulder and backed him into the wall. Our noses were almost touching.

 

“How!”

 

Quishi rolled his eyes and looked exasperated with me. He shook me off and planted his skinny on the sofa.

 

“I’m not sure. I don’t know him well enough to know what would trigger that cold exterior to crack. But…”

How the could he just pause mid-sentence like that when we are trying to figure out how I can best Wang Qing.

 

“But, ing what?! Spit it out! I am desperate! I feel like I am losing some hidden contest I didn’t know I entered. I refuse to continue to let that bastard to think he has some sort of deranged ual hold on me! Stop rolling your ing eyes at me! If you want help I’ll slap you so hard your eyes will roll around like googly eyes!”

 

Quishi cringed away from me and dramatically placed his hand on his chest.

 

“Maybe I should let you fend for yourself because clearly Qing’s lessons on manners was already forgotten. I should call him and tell him you need a refresher course.”

 

I blushed. I ING blushed. I should have never told this smug er anything.

 

“I’m sorry, just help me please.”

 

Quishi’s eyes bugged so far out his head at my words he could probably see around corners without turning his head.

 

When he finally returned to himself he cleared his throat and motioned towards the chair.

 

“So, here’s the plan…”

 

I was so excited about getting best of Qing and making that er put a crack in that handsome cold persona. I abso-in-lutely refuse to analyze why I was so excited about this ed up plan, I shook my head to clear my thoughts just as I heard the Qing’s key insert into the lock.

 

Time to get this plan in action. I was seated on the sofa with all my books spread out in front of me on the coffee table. Slumping over and trying to school my expression into one of exhausted and irritation I waited for him to enter our room.

 

Qing came in and breezed right by me and entered his room and shut the door. Leave it to that selfish er to ignore his roommate’s plight. Here I was clearly tired and frustrated with studying and he doesn’t even stop to offer words of comfort. Did the bastard not see me sitting here requiring some attention! Who the does he think he is!?

 

I was truly irritated at this point when Qing comes out of his room and plops down next to me on the sofa and turns on the television. WHAT THE ACTUAL !

 

“Can you not see that I am studying here!? Why the do you need to come in here now and disrupt me by watching television. Go back to your damn room.”

Qing paused in search for something to watch and turned his head to slowly look at me. I watched his eagle eyes scan over my condition. He looked me over so long I became agitated.

 

“What the are you looking at?! Did you not hear me have you lost your hearing?! I said I was studying and you are bothering me!”

 

Qing gave me a once over and sat back on the sofa and went back to channel surfing.

 

I hate the motherfuc-

 

“Maybe you would have an easier time studying and doing your homework if you weren’t trying to do you Statistical Analyse homework with your Market Strategies notes.”

 

I looked down at my arrangement of books and notes. Well, dammit!

 

“Furthermore, if I did have hearing loss it would be to all the screaming and yelling you did in my ear last night. Maybe you should learn to be a bit quieter in your bliss.”

 

HOW DARE THIS BASTARD TRY TO MAKE HIS CARELESSNESS ABOUT ME!

 

‘Whose ing fault I was yelling like that in the first damn place. No one asked you to stick your tongue in my --”

 

Why the am I letting this jackass get the best of me. This was my plan and he was ing ruining it with his smart comments. I am not going to let him win! NOT THIS TIME DAMMIT!

 

“This is about any of that! This is about your disregard for me as your roommate. I am clearly in so distressed that I picked up the wrong notes. You should be trying to ing comfort me. I have been here all ing day studying so hard. I forgot to eat and you come in here and ignore my plight and add to my ing frustrations! You should take responsibility for your actions!”

 

Qing turns the television off and went back to his room without another word. I will kill him in his sleep! That er will not know what hit him! I am going to slip into the room and beat him to death with a pillowcase full of soap bars! The selfish prick didn’t even respond to my obvious cry for comfort!

 

When I heard Qing’s door open again I didn't even bother to turn around. I heard his heavy steps as he walked to the doorway and shuffling as he stepped into his shoes. The sound of his footfalls came closer and stopped near me.

 

“Stop pretending to study if you needed a break and wanted my attention you should have stated that clearly.”

 

“Who the wants your attention I--”

 

“Quit being so noisy and get dressed. I will take you out for dinner. I will wait in the car. You have ten minutes.”

 

Then, the arrogant turned and left me sitting there with my mouth hanging open. When the door closed I rushed from my seat and gathered my coat and shoes and rushed after him. I need to get back in control of the situation. I am Feng Dayu it’s time for me to turn the tables on this er!