as i sit here, with my pants undone
my sleep schedule ed
and my tea nearly gone
i cant help but think:
damn i love clementine oranges

           For a second he was worried about something very important to him being bent out of shape, but then he realized that Tao was gone.

           “Tao?” Joonmyun looked around, “Babe?” He looked under the bed, “This isn’t funny.” He frowned. He grabbed a pair of boxers and pulled them on before grabbing the doorknob.

           “Joonmyun. Calm down.” Tao’s voice placated.

           “Where are you?” He looked around,

           “Don’t you see the wisp of oddly coloured smoke around you?” Joonmyun looked. He squinted, He tried closing one eye then the other, he even tried crossing them. “You look ridiculous,” Tao said.

           “I can’t see you.”

           “But you can hear me.”

           “Yes.” He continued trying to follow where Tao’s voice was coming from but it sounded like it was all around him. “What happened to you?”

           “Come back to bed and we’ll talk,” Tao said softly. Joonmyun’s boxers disappeared.

           “Where do all my clothes go when you do that?”

           “Back in their drawers, folded and laundered.”  Joonmyun leaned back against the headboard and looked around, still unable to see Tao.

           “What happened to you, Tao?” Joonmyun asked again.

           “You know when you have an amazing and after you’re all floppy floppy and totally relaxed?” Joonmyun made an affirmative noise. “I got so relaxed I couldn’t hold my corporeal form. You cannot believe how amazing I feel right now.” Joonmyun felt a light kiss on his lips.

           “I wish I could say the same, but I panicked when you disappeared and the floppy feeling is gone.”

           Joonmyun felt himself lifted off of the bed and placed face down on top of the blankets. “What are you doing?” Joonmyun mumbled into the blanket. The adrenaline was wearing off and he was feeling tired.

           Joonmyun let out a loud moan as he felt pressure on his back. He couldn’t see Tao’s smoke, but for some reason, he could feel the genie giving him an amazing massage.

           “After we’ve relaxed for a bit, I think we should take a nice hot bath.” Joonmyun agreed wholeheartedly with the disembodied voice.

           The next day there was an obnoxious noise next to the bed and Chanyeol’s long slender arm reached for his phone to look at the time. He hummed and wrapped himself around Baekhyun. A moment later it had dawned on him what time the clock had said and he practically flew out of bed, accidentally knocking Baekhyun onto the floor.

           “What happened?” Baekhyun rubbed the sleep out of his eyes.

           “Photoshoot. Running late. Get dressed!”

           “Why me?” He asked groggily.

           “I need someone to hold my equipment and reflector.” Baekhyun dug through a drawer and found clothes that looked nice enough but were also functional.

           “What kind of photos?” He perked up a little.

           “Engagement cards or something.”

           Chanyeol ran out the front door and loaded the car with photo equipment. He turned to see if Baekhyun was behind him and the purple haired man came out with two slices of toast for him.

        “We can get coffee on the way.” Baekhyun said.

           “Bye guys!” Joonmyun said from the garage, covered in grease up to his elbows.

           The two men scurried into the car and pulled away. “We have a garage?” Baekhyun asked.

-

           Joonmyun and Tao worked on the Vespa together. At first it wouldn’t even turn on. They tried to see if there was fuel in it. When they put gas in it, nothing happened beyond smoke and a sputter.

           Kris walked up the driveway to watch them try to clean various pipes and replace various parts.

           “Need a filter for this… part.” Joonmyun raised a part up to show Tao. Kris swore that it just materialized on the counter.

          “Hey guys…” Kris waved. Tao had various blotches of grease on him but not as much as Joonmyun had. He looked as if the oil pan spit on him. It did. He was covered in old grease and oil and new grease and oil. The two men looked up and smiled politely at their neighbour.

           “Hey...” They both said in an almost droning voice.

           “Tao… gonna need another… whatever this thing is.” He showed it to Tao.

           “Do we have one?” He asked, silently gesturing toward Kris with his eyes.

           “I’m sure we do, on the work table.” Joonmyun didn’t quite get what Tao was hinting at. There was no mistaking it. There was nothing there on the table a minute ago and now he had the exact part Joonmyun needed. Kris frowned a little.

           “Did you come to watch the show?” Tao gestured toward Joonmyun who sputtered again, because he was sprayed by another stream of viscous liquid coming from the moped. It had to have been doing this on purpose.

           “Actually I was wondering if I could talk to Suho for a moment.” Kris said, standing awkwardly at the end of the driveway. He toed at a pebble on the sidewalk.

           Joonmyun had been holding one tool this entire time. It was a non adjustable crescent wrench. Kris noted that it was completely the wrong size for any of the parts he had been pulling out but said nothing. He just chalked it up to more of the weird stuff he’s noticed at this house.

            Joonmyun handed Tao the wrench and tried to put on his best redneck accent, “So, what can I do ya for?”

           “I… uh… well Jongdae and I we um… “

           “You two got together?” Kris’ cheeks were tinted pink and he looked down shyly.

           “But um… He’s a guy and I’ve never… I uh um.”

           “You don’t know what to do.” Joonmyun stated, “He’s the first guy you’ve ever liked?” Kris nodded.

           “I embarrassed myself trying to give- trying to go down on him.”

           “Gagging? That’s normal until you get the hang of breathing and stuff…”

           “I drooled all over him and he said something about teeth…” Kris interrupted, “And the gagging.” Joonmyun let out a tiny, sympathetic ‘ooh’.

           “You came to ask my advice?” Joonmyun asked with a smirk. Kris nodded,“You don’t know anyone else to ask?” Kris nodded again.

           “You’re the only people I know that… that-that-that.”

           “Has with men.” Joonmyun finished. Kris nodded unsure of if he should wait for Joonmyun to help him or run home with his tail between his legs. “Ok. wanna come in for a snack?” Joonmyun asked. Kris nodded nervously.

           “Tao~” Joonmyun said in the direction of the garage.

           “Hm~?” he said in the same sing song tone.

           “We have popsicles, don’t we?” He asked.

           Tao got up from the floor by the moped and opened the door that went through the back of the garage. He came back a moment later, “We do now.”

           “Come in,” Joonmyun gestured toward the door.

           After Joonmyun washed the grease off of his hands in the kitchen sink with surprising ease, he sat at the kitchen table. “Can you get the popsicles for me?” Joonmyun asked sweetly.

           “Uh sure.” Kris opened the freezer and looked at Joonmyun, “There’s only two… rocket pops?”

           “That’s all we need, I’m sure Tao can find something else if he wants anything.” Joonmyun gestured at the chair next to him, “Sit here and don’t open it yet.”

           Kris sat on the chair and looked expectantly at Joonmyun. “The key, first of all, Kris, is patience.”

           “But it’s going to melt.” Kris looked at his neighbour nervously.

           “Do you want to learn or not?” Kris nodded with a frown.

           “Unwrap it slowly.” Kris fumbled with the packaging and eventually got it open. Joonmyun waited patiently until he had done what he was told. “Ok, show me what you did.”

           Kris looked confused and Joonmyun on the end of his popsicle as he waited for Kris to understand. The taller man looked at the popsicle and tried to stick it down his throat as far as he could, when he pulled it out, it was covered in scores of teeth marks and his eyes were watering.

           “Do you seriously think all those teeth would feel good?” Joonmyun asked him as he looked at the popsicle. “Start slow, make eye contact. Like this.”  He looked at Kris as he the end into his mouth. He pulled it out and noticed some of it was starting to drip so he the drips off. The whole time he maintained eye contact with Kris. He more of the frozen treat into his mouth and pulled it out a small bit before pushing more in. He pulled it all the way out of his mouth before gesturing to Kris to try again. Kris gulped audibly before realizing what he was supposed to do.

           Kris all of the drips off of the popsicle before they hit his fingers and looked at Joonmyun as he took the end past his lips. “You don’t have to go all the way down it, just see how far you can put it in your mouth before it gets uncomfortable. And for god’s sake watch the teeth!” Joonmyun said.

           Kris kept his eyes locked on Joonmyun’s as he managed to halfway down the popsicle before backing up quickly and making a small choking noise.

           Joonmyun looked at the popsicle. “Better. You ready for lesson two?”

           Jongdae walked to the driveway and looked into the garage. “Tao?”

           “Oh… hi.” He waved his wrench in greeting.

           “Have you seen Kris? He’s not at home.”

           “Yeah… Suho is showing him how to give a .” He said as he blew air through an old grease covered part.

           “He’s what?” Jongdae squawked raising his eyebrows.

           “He wants to make you happy.” Tao said with a shrug. “Want a popsicle?”

           “Uh… um… yeah. Sure.” He said, sounding mildly upset at the thought that went through his head when he thought of Kris learning from Joonmyun about s.

           “Come on. I think they’re in the kitchen too.” Tao said.

           Jongdae walked in and Tao was behind him. Suddenly his hands and arms were clean. He went to the freezer and pulled out two popsicles. Jongdae was staring at Kris with his mouth open as he watched his lover manage to stick almost the entire popsicle down his throat.

           “Impressive.” Tao said as he handed Jongdae a popsicle.

           Joonmyun looked at the two newcomers and stood up. He slowly made it to Tao and looked him in the eyes as he pushed the entire popsicle in his mouth.

           As soon as the frozen snack was out of Joonmyun’s mouth, Tao grabbed the back of Joonmyun’s head and crushed their lips together. They tilted their heads to their right and alternated between open mouthed kisses and their tongues pressing against each other. Their lips never stayed in contact for long.

           Kris looked at Jongdae, surprise evident in his face. “Uh… Hi.” He looked at the two almost violently kissing then looked back up at Jongdae. “Where did you get the popsicle?”

           “Tao got it from the freezer. Why?”

           “Nothing,” He frowned for a moment before on the sweet in his hand, “Not important.”

           The other couple broke apart panting and occasionally leaving tiny pecks on each other’s lips. Tao had a curious expression on his face. “Have you two ed yet?” Kris choked on his popsicle. Joonmyun smacked him in the chest.

           “You don’t have to be so vulgar.” The smaller man frowned, smacking him on the shoulder.

           “Jongdae, a word please.” Tao slung his arm over his neighbour’s shoulder, dragging him to the front room.

           “Where is he going with Jong?” Kris asked.

           “They’re going to have a chat. Is he the more experienced out of you two?” Kris nodded.

           “He… he’s… wow. Um…” Kris blushed and looked at his half melted popsicle.

           “I think tonight, you should let him show you how to do it then.” Kris looked confused.

           “Isn’t it tab A slot B repeat?”

           “Only if you want to tear something. Don’t be stupid.” Joonmyun chided.

           In the other room Tao and Jongdae spoke quietly. “You’ve topped before, right?” Jongdae nodded. “I think you should show him how it works, but I think he might try to be in charge eventually anyway.”

           Back in the kitchen, Kris stared wide eyed at Joonmyun.

           “Look, it’s going to hurt really bad the first couple of times no matter what you do. But the keyword is patience. Also if you bottom for him, he’ll show you how it feels for him when you eventually want to top, IF you want to top after that. After a while, it’s the most amazing feeling.” Joonmyun started rambling with a dreamy look on his face.

           “But it’s going to hurt?” Trepidation heavy in his voice.

           “Like I said. Patience. Do. Not. Rush. when Jongdae is getting you ready. Let him do his thing and make sure you relax.” Kris nodded nervously.

           After some time explaining things to Kris, Joonmyun pulled out a small bottle of lube the same time Tao gave one to Jongdae. They both pushed the lovers toward the front of the house.

           “I wanna hear you guys shouting from across the street.” Tao said.

           “You think they’ll be ok?” Joonmyun asked as he wrapped an arm around Tao’s waist.

           “Yeah.” He looked down at his lover with a smirk, “I’m getting kinda jealous of that popsicle.”