08 January

Another hectic day had passed. Ever since I enter high school, I don’t even have time to feel bored. My every day is filled with something to catch up and finish, but I won’t complain, though.

A lot of things had changed ever since I joined high school. In junior high, I was just an ordinary schoolgirl. People might know who I am, but to be exact they know nothing more than just my name. I was a nerdy girl that every people think is boring. The young me had thought that maybe by studying hard and becoming the top student in the class can make me be recognised by the others, but the truth is that people still only know me as the “teacher’s pet” or “top student”. Some of them even only started to talk to me when they wanted to team up with me for a group project.

Me being a shy person had also made the situation even worse. I don’t really know how to socialise with the others, and if I do I will feel very awkward. I didn’t join that much of parties of friend meetings unless Jungkook was there. But Jungkook always left me behind when he arrived the place, so it didn’t really make that much of a difference anyway. Every time when people are around, I felt like I’m wearing an invisibility cloak, and that no one would ever notice my presence. That’s why I’d rather stay in my room all day. At least I get to play with my guitar or study. I also like to spend my time drawing pictures and colouring them. I think these are the only things that I am best at.

Although I don’t have that much of friends, but I am glad to have Lisa and Kookie. Lisa is one of my few best friends, and is the closest girl friend I have. Unlike me, Lisa is very popular since she moved to South Korea and joined my school, until now when we’re in high school. Being a foreigner, she first approached me to ask about the direction to the principal’s room, so I brought her there and that’s how our friendship starts to bloom. Lisa is a friendly and cheerful person. Wherever she is, she will light up the atmosphere there and eventually became the spotlight. Even though we’re very different from each other, she is still willing to become a friend with me. I guess that’s what they said about opposite attracts.

Actually, we do have something in common, which is the passion in dancing. Not many people know about this, but I do enjoy dancing a lot. The feelings of swaying your body accordingly to the beat of the music, and how you can express something with your movement, these are all the things that I like the most about dancing. In fact, I think only Lisa knew about the fact that I could dance. I hope that one day I can show my ability to others, to show them what I have under my sleeve.

Entering high school this year, I’ve decided to make a change in my life. This time, I wanted to make more friends, and join more activities and become more noticeable. I want people to know me as Roseanne Park Chaeyoung, not only someone nerdy who is only known in the class. I wanted to be remembered by everyone after they graduated. And I truly know that all of these will start in my high school year.

My first step in doing so is to change my appearance. By that, I don’t mean to have scalpel over my face, but more to something like a makeover. For this, I have asked Lisa to help me, as she has a really great sense of fashion and appearance. This year, I am not going to wear my ponytails to school anymore, but instead, I put my hair down and waved them. I also ditched my bulky glasses and started wearing contact lens. My wardrobe had also changed from those ugly sweaters and sweatpants to something more chic and girly.

The second step for that is joining cheerleader team in the school. I’ve always wanted to be in a cheerleader team, but I never had a chance until recently. I still remembered how nervous was I during the audition and thanks God that finally I was accepted. The captain of the cheerleader team, Jisoo is my senior and she has been so nice to me ever since I joined her team. Besides her, I also know some other people who are on the same team as me such as Jennie, Joy and Wendy. There are all so nice and pretty. I hope that we all can get along well.

After being a part of the cheerleader team, I have to spend more of my free time to practice for the routines over and over again. It’s nice somehow because if it wasn’t for that, I would just stay in my room doing nothing all day. It was tiring but it was definitely more fun than being in the room alone. At least I tend to spend more time with more people, and bond with them in the process.

Another thing about being in high school is that the lesson is getting more and more tougher than before. Especially when our SAT is approaching, the teachers have been trying to push us harder so that we can achieve our best. I should really manage my time well so that I can find a point of balance between my academics and cheerleading.

Now that I am actively involved in high school things like studies, co-curricular activities and friendships, I might as well wanted to try something more… you know, maybe like a love life? >///< From what I had always read from those cheesy romantic novels, they often said that high school’s love is the purest and beautiful kind of love in the world. It is also some kind of love that is the most unforgettable, as some of the people experienced their first love during high school. Maybe they are just a metaphor, or maybe it’s just their hormones working, but I really want to try it myself too.

I don’t really have a love life before, at least not an official one. All I had was a crush on my senior during my junior high. I was so stupid back then that I’ve never get to tell him how I feel earlier. I only knew it was all too late when I overheard his conversation with his friends that his family is moving to another country. On that same day, I was about to give him my confession card, to finally tell him how I liked him. However, it all ended up in the dustbin, including my feelings. I cried for the whole night and got a fever and swollen eyes in the morning. I basically cried when I am eating, bathing, walking my dog and even while watching comedy. This is so embarrassing to say, but I really don’t know how to control my emotions, especially when I just experienced most likely my first ever heartbreak.

My eyes are getting teary again while I remembered all these things.

It’s not like I’m desperate for someone to date me, but high school isn’t really that long and I really doubt that someone will have his interest on me during this time. If someone really did, maybe it’s me that didn’t really favour him. It may sound childish but I’m actually still waiting for the right charming prince to enter and never leave my life. Well, I’ve decided to just let it be and when the right time comes, I will surely know. As what I read from the novel, you can’t really rush into love, right?

The main point is that, I want to fully experience my high school life so that I will leave no regret in later days. I’m trying to work this all things out, and it doesn’t matter if it progresses fast or slowly, as long as it’s always going on and on and on. You can do it, Rosie! Just believe and yourself and everything will be just how you wanted!

I am really exhausted right now, till next time~

I wonder if Jungkook is still writing his diary?

Mood: Sleepy zzz