‘Sanghyuk-ah! Are you really sure you don’t want to come with us for gopchang?’ Hyuk’s mother called him from downstairs.

‘I’m fine mom! You go on without me.’ Hyuk shouted back.

Hyuk returned back to his home in Daejeon as instructed by Soo-ah in order to find the answer for himself about how he actually feels for Hakyeon, the oldest of VIXX.

To suddenly go back home however, Hyuk didn’t know what to do to be honest. He was playing a few video games with his family during the first few days in order to waste some time but also to calm his mind. He thought he cared a lot about Hakyeon so eventually, thinking about how much he loves the leader shouldn’t have been a difficult task. But he struggled.

To say that he’s never had a single ill feeling for the oldest would have been a lie but that’s because Hyuk is still a child, no matter how hard he tries to catch up with the rest of the members. Sometimes he wishes that Hakyeon would stop spoiling him so much and let him do the things he wants to do, as a grownup. But there were times when Hyuk couldn’t help but thank Hakyeon for always being there to support him.

When Hyuk first entered the agency, he really didn’t have much expectations in debuting as an idol. Training to become one was just so he could waste his time and try to find a career path since he had none at the time. Sure, he liked music and dancing but he wasn’t really keen on doing either of them in particular. He just wanted an excuse to do something else aside from cramming for exams and studying. He entered the agency on an impulse when he hear that Jellyfish Entertainment was looking for trainees and might eventually debut their first boy group.

Even upon entering the agency, Hyuk expected to train a few more years until he is even considered to debuting in a group. His plans were that if he didn’t like the training or got bored with it, he could leave the company and look for something else to do. But one day, the CEO surprised him and told him along with two other trainees that they were selected to be a part of the group of trainees for a survival show.

Of course, Hyuk didn’t want to appear unmotivated and put other trainee’s hard work to disgrace just because he personally didn’t care whether or not he debuts. So, he still gave his best. If he made it, that’d be great. If he didn’t, he could care less.

When Hyuk first entered the survival show MyDol, he was quite intimidated by the older trainees especially Jung Taekwoon. The older never speaks a word, has an icy aura around him and simple looks as if he didn’t like anyone else. The other trainees have also been with the agency for awhile now so finally getting a chance to debut was their dream. There was just one single problem though.

Han Sanhyuk.

He was not only the youngest amongst the trainees but also only had a month of training before getting selected to go on the survival show. One more trainee in the show means one more competitor. They knew that the end result was six members so having another person come in means lesser chance of being selected in the end. Hyuk felt like a small presence amongst all the older trainees and quite shy to approach others because he thought he wouldn’t fit in and the others would not like him.

‘Hyogi-ah!’ Hakyeon jumped onto Hyuk and glomped him from behind like the usual.

‘Hyung. Stop that please.’ Hyuk was struggling to detach himself from the older.

‘Aw~ you’re no fun. But it’s okay because you’re cute~’

Hyuk have always looked at Hakyeon in question, the leader of the trainees, the oldest too but always acts so affectionate and loving towards everyone around him.

‘Are you still afraid of Taekwoonie?’ Hakyeon asked him.

‘A bit…’ Hyuk couldn’t deny that the pokerfaced member frightened him quite a bit.

‘Aw, don’t worry. Taekwoon doesn’t bite. He’s just awkward.’ Hakyeon assured him.

‘Whatever you say hyung.’ Hyuk sighed.

Hyuk have always wondered why both Hakyeon and Taekwoon was so different from one another despite being the same age but that was a question he never found the answer to. Hyuk also felt quite awkward when he first met Hongbin who was closer to his age but they didn’t really have much in common and Hyuk knew that Hongbin didn’t like him very much at first when Hyuk entered the group after only having a month of training.

But it was thanks to Hakyeon, who have known Hongbin the longest, that he got Hongbin and Hyuk to eventually get to know one another and talk things out. Now, they’re the inseparable maknae duo who gave their older members a hard time. It was fun though.

When Soo-ah asked Hyuk and the other members of whether there was a time that he disliked Hakyeon, he couldn’t really deny and say ‘no.’ But it was all for smaller reasons and that Hyuk would never hope that Hakyeon should disappear. If Hakyeon didn’t welcome him with a warm hug and helped him get comfortable around the other trainees since the beginning, Hyuk would probably still be the maknae who doesn’t really talk much and would shy away from others.

Hyuk had several nightmares after being charged by a weapon from the Dark Hakyeon. He was hurt to see that the leader looked at him with such hatred and intent to kill him. As frightened as Hyuk was, he could never truly despise Hakyeon.

Hyuk sighed as he sat in front of his desk to reminisce about the past.

‘I’m so spoiled because of you, Hakyeon-hyung.’

He tucked his head in his arms and all he could think about was Hakyeon.

‘Please, come back. I really miss you.’

Hyuk was positive though, that all his precious memories and affection for Hakyeon outnumbered the times he wished Hakyeon would leave him alone. It pained him too much to realize that the original Cha Hakyeon have disappeared into a dream and rather, his body was being in control by a dark force.  Hyuk didn’t like it. The current Hakyeon isn’t the real one and he wants his caring leader to come back.

He missed all the attention, all the pampering and Hakyeon’s guidance whenever he needed someone to be there for him.

‘I wish I could hug you hyung…’ Hyuk said as he pulled out a blank notebook and started to write words on it for his beloved Hakyeon-hyung.

~

Wonshik didn’t have time to travel anywhere aside from going home. His home was already in Seoul and he was never really away from home. More so, his work studio at the company felt more like his second home than his own.

There wasn’t much for him to pack up from the dorms in order to go back home in Gangnam. Everything he needed was already there. His laptop, his headphones, his recording equipments… he was a workaholic and he knows it very well.

Despite being an idol of a boy group, Wonshik’s passion have always been making music and creating compositions of hip-hop and rap. He loved to compose and has completely fallen in love with making things he like from scratch. It has always been like that since even before he became a trainee at Jellyfish Entertainment.

When Wonshik first entered the agency, he didn’t think he would be debuting as a boy group member at all. The agency only had solo singers at the time and Wonshik was more keen on being the company’s first hip-hop solo artist rather than being an idol. He didn’t want to rely on some already well-known labels to pave his way up but rather gain recognition as a music artist from the bottom. He was confident in his skills.

He really wasn’t very interested either in doing boy group dances during their practices and would secretly practice street choreography or dance routines when he had time alone.

‘I choose Kim Wonshik,’ Hakyeon raised his hands one day during practice.

Huh? Wonshik was blanking out and daydreaming about hip-hop like usual that he forgot they were choosing partners for their assignment. Their dance instructor gave them the assignment to come up with a choreography together with another trainee and it seemed that Hakyeon has chosen Wonshik.

What? Why me… we don’t even dance to the same genre…

Hakyeon turned to Wonshik and flashed a big grin on his face which made Wonshik feel a bit uneased at first. But Wonshik didn’t know how to turn down the oldest either. Hakyeon have been training with the agency for years now and Wonshik could only listen.

All the trainees knew that Hakyeon majored in urban and contemporary dances so Wonshik sat down with the oldest to decide for the music and routine together. In his mind though, Wonshik was panicking. He couldn’t relate.

‘What do you think of this one hyung?’ Wonshik found a video clip on the internet and showed it to Hakyeon in order to suggest something he knows Hakyeon would like to do. It was their first choreography together and also the first time they’ve actually worked as a group.

‘Hmmm… nope!’ Hakyeon scooted Wonshik over the other half of the small desk chair and started to type something frantically on the keyboard. ‘Let me see~ ah-ha! This one!’

Hakyeon moved his head out of the way to show Wonshik what he found and when the younger looked at the screen, he was surprised.

‘Huh? Hyung but this is…’ Wonshik stuttered.

‘Hmm? What? You don’t like it? I thought you like this kind of choreography.’

‘I do but…’

Wonshik was surprised that instead of anything urban or contemporary in which the older was good at, Hakyeon chose a street hip-hop routine video to show to the younger. He looked at Hakyeon for a moment and questioned as to why the latter would choose something he didn’t major in.

‘As long as you like it, it’s fine by me!’ Hakyeon smiled. 'Plus I like all genre of dance!'

Since then, Wonshik realized just how selfless Hakyeon is and how observant the older was when it comes to the people around him. Hakyeon knew that Wonshik liked hip-hop way more than being in an boy group but nonetheless, the older wanted to show him that boy groups can be unique as well. They didn’t need to do idol-like routines and music all the time but try something knew and exceed other people’s expectations. Hakyeon understood each of the members well and Wonshik came to admire that ability. Hakyeon was indeed ‘leader’ material.

He cared whole-heartedly for each and every single person around him; he paid attention to their needs rather than his own. Because making others happy made Hakyeon happy as well.

Maybe debuting in an idol group isn’t so bad after all. As long as Hakyeon-hyung is here with me…

That was the first time when Wonshik grew fond of being in an idol group. Because he was able to be in the same group of people who he trusted and could rely on.

Ring.

Wonshik’s phone suddenly went off and woke him up from his nostalgic past.

‘Hello?’ He picked up.

‘Oh, Wonshik-ah.’

‘Mom?’

‘I heard you have a few days off from work. Are you at home right now?’

‘Yeah.’

‘Busy?’

‘Huh? No, why?’

‘Can you do me a small favor and bring something to your grandparents’ house? I have a box of their old belongings in our storage room that I need to give it to them when they moved out of Seoul. I intended to give it to them awhile ago but work has been really crazy lately so I was wondering if you can do that for me instead since you have some time off your hands.’

‘Sure.’

As his mother had instructed, Wonshik went through their storage closet and dug out an old box that was labeled to be given to his grandparents who lived outside of the big city. His grandparents lived a few hours away from Seoul and Wonshik haven’t seen them in a very long time. So, he agreed to do the delivery.

Immediately upon his arrival, he was greeted by the pair of elders who saw him happily and Wonshik was delighted to see them healthy as well.

‘What’s inside the box grandma?’ Wonshik asked as he sat next to his grandmother and giving her a shoulder massage while they were chatting on the front porch.

‘It’s just some old heirloom and possessions that our ancestors cherished. We never throw this away. It’s what makes our family special. I was going to bring them with me when we first moved here but I keep forgetting. Blame it on the old age I guess.’ The old lady chuckled.

Wonshik’s grandmother opened the box to show her grandson what was inside. There was a few vintage photos, a few old letters, and a bunch of dated items within the box. There was also a notebook inside.

‘This is a really old notebook that has been with our family for many generations. Though the ink of the words is no longer legible, it still holds a special meaning for our family. Here, have a look.’ She handed the book delicately to Wonshik.

Wonshik took the book in his hands with care and flipped through the paged. The ink on the page has almost faded away, the pages were yellow and the book itself gave off a vintage smell.

Wow, just how old is this thing? He thought as he examined the book.

As he continued looking at the pages, he came across a drawing that caught his attention.

‘Grandma, what is this?’ He asked her.

‘Oh? This. I remember this. It’s a story that our great grandparents would tell us when we were young.’

‘A story?’

‘Hmm… how did it go again? It was a story about the door that created meetings and reunions. A door that connected the different worlds together.’

‘Different…worlds?’ Wonshik was intrigued as he stared down on the page with a drawing of a certain door.

‘It’s an old folklore but it was a very sweet one. We used to believe that if we were ever to find this door, we would also find our fate and soul mate.’ She laughed at how silly it was for her to believe in the story when she was a child.

But, Wonshik felt attached to this book and the drawing. It was rather familiar to him. Even the drawings throughout the book gave off a rather strange vibe, though the words were no longer legible, Wonshik felt like he could read the text. The notebook was filled with drawings of circles and writings that seemed to be some sort of ‘formula.’

‘Grandma, can I ask you a favor?’ He asked her.

‘What is it?’

‘Can I take this with me back to Seoul?’ Wonshik asked.

* * * * * * A/N * * * * * *

The last part of Hyuk's perspective is taken from his first self-composed song.