Author’s

“What are you doing here, hyung?” Jimin sat beside Yoongi by the lake. It’s still an early morning. 7 a.m or so. Jimin wondered what makes the lazy Yoongi to wake up early and sat there alone.

“Goodmorning  too, Jimin” Yoongi answered with small playful smile.

Jimin grinned. “Sorry, not usual to see you so early, but seriously why are you here alone? In the foggy morning like this” Jimin watched as Yoongi threw pebbles into the river, creating ripples on the lake surface.

“Nothing, I’m just… need to calm my thought. It’s kind of messy these days” Yoongi unfolded his legs and massaged his knees.

“What were you thinking hyung? Care to share them with me?” Jimin laid on the grass. Enjoying the chilly morning air.

Yoongi took a little bit long time to answer which made the younger boy turned to look at him. He found it amusing seeing white steam puffed out from Yoongi’s mouth and nostrils. The elder seemed to blend really well with the nature. His snow-white fair skin, black hair, rosy lips, and strangely, red sweater. Yoongi was like an accent to the dullness of the nature, with its green pine forest and crystal clear water of the lake. The sky is light blue, slightly greyish. The fog was still there. Covering the entire area with its white cast.

“Hyung” the elder heard Jimin called again. He just slightly turned his head, signaling that his ears are on.

“Are you okay? you seemed… a little bit occupied” Jimin’s silvery blonde hair draped on the grass, like a mop of a freshly drop snow in the winter.

“Yeah” Yoongi answered. Then the silent fell again.

“Hey, Jimin”

“Hm?”

“How does it feels in here when winter?”

Jimin wasn’t expecting the kind of question but he answered it anyway. “It’s freezing cold, much much colder than the city. Moreover, the lake is slightly freeze. The fish are usually migrate to the other area. Me and Hoseok hyung would lit up the fireplace because we don’t use electric heater” Jimin smiled remembering some winter memories with Hoseok.

“Fireplace, so it was used?”

“Yes, it’s been there since our parents build the house”

“Why don’t you use electric heater? I thought it would give more heat and made you guys more comfortable?” Yoongi waited till Jimin finished giggling.

“This might sounds old-fashioned, but…. The heater, consumed more electricity and we’re… kind of saving for something more important. Besides, the fireplace gave us relaxing feeling and also since the heat didn’t reach our bedroom, we got to sleep in the living room. It’s either we shared the couch or we just laid on the floor with pile of blankets on our body. It’s kind of cheesy but it made our bond stronger and I really love Hoseok hyung. He’s a great brother and he takes care of me very well. We usually chatted about our daily activities and some non-sense that sent laughter to our house. It’s… it’s the best time ever. I like winter. Definitely” Jimin unconsciously smiled as the memories of him and Hoseok wrapped tightly in a thick wool blanket.

“That sounds amazing… I’d really love to have those kind of moment too” Yoongi’s mind lingered on his winter activities. He was kind of sad to remember his daily activities wasn’t really different than the normal season. He got electric heater all over his condo, thick blanket, and loneliness.

Yoongi bite his lips. There’s no difference between winter and other season to him and Taehyung. He would work, but in lesser time. But Taehyung didn’t. It’s like the winter didn’t affect him. Only to the clothing. Taehyung wore more sweater in the winter. But overall, he got up at eight, went to work half an hour after, went home at midnight or later. Or sometimes, didn’t come home at all due to his business trip. It left Yoongi wondering alone in his condo.

Yoongi then remembered his parents. It’s been a long time since the last time he visited them. When was the last time he called his mother? Or his father? Or little brother?

Yoongi sighed desperately. He now realized he really miss them.

I’m going to visit them after everything’s settled.

Yoongi thought.

He envied Jimin’s.

Even though the boy no longer have parents, but his relationship with his brother is the strongest that Yoongi ever known. He was always there for Hoseok and vice versa. It’s not like the slightly different blood relation made any different.

Yoongi envied the night-at-the-fireplace activity that Jimin mentioned before. He thought Jimin made a good sense about it. The shared blanket, hot choco, and some silly-brotherly joke really are a rare things these days, moreover in the city. People are too busy with their own activities, making money and etc until they forgot to relax and enjoy the moment with their loved one.

“I really want to feel it too, Chim…” Yoongi said. Jimin looked at him, waiting for Yoongi to continue  what he’s saying.

“I feel… cold. All the time. Like I live in a soulless body. No emotion, never relax, thinking too much and it kills me slowly. Lonely. Even though so many people surrounded me but I feel alone. Maybe because of my habit to ignore people, because of my habit to busying myself with my own thought. I should’ve paid more attention. I should’ve take care of my loved one more. Do you think I’m selfish?” Yoongi wasn’t sure if Jimin understood what he feels but he knew Jimin wouldn’t judge