A/N: What's a better way to celebrate Valentine's Day than to release the final chapter of < If You > ?

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[Final Chapter]

‘What… is this?’ Taekwoon took the box that was engraved with his own writing on it. ‘Did I give this to Hakyeon?’

He can’t remember.

Taekwoon’s frustration of not being able to remember was starting to build. He remembers everything else except for Hakyeon and by just holding the wooden box within his arms, he knew right away that Hakyeon wasn’t just any old high school friend.

Hakyeon must mean a lot more for Leo to have given this to the boy.

But why is it so difficult to recall a single person?

Taekwoon’s head began to throb. Dammit not now…

He tried to fight the agony and pain that was going through his mind all at once. He’s never felt more desperate to remember than right now. Not remembering anything about himself was less painful than what he was currently feeling while trying to remember who Cha Hakyeon was.

Why… why does it hurt this much just to remember who you are?

‘Taekwoon?!’ The boy called out as soon as he came in and saw Taekwoon had fallen on the ground and crouching in pain. ‘What’s wrong? Are you okay?’

Hakyeon rushed to Taekwoon’s side, worried and concerned but just as he leaned down to assist Taekwoon, the latter grabbed his arms tightly.

Desperately.

‘Cha… Hakyeon…’ Taekwoon called for the boy’s name while still trying to endure the pain that was violently rushing throughout his mind.

‘Yes, I’m here. Wh-what’s wrong? Are you feeling the headaches again?’ Hakyeon asked.

Just then, Hakyeon noticed something in Taekwoon’s arms. The box in which Leo had given him.

‘That…’ Hakyeon recognized.

‘Answer me Cha Hakyeon. Who exactly are you? Just what are you to me? To Leo?’ Taekwoon interrogated.

Hakyeon hesitated for a second then looked at Taekwoon who was in pain. The hurt and desperate Taekwoon brought sadness in Hakyeon’s heart, he could not bear to watch it.

‘Let’s get you rest first. You really don’t look too well.’ Hakyeon suggested as he could see Taekwoon’s face gone pale.

But Taekwoon refused.

He held onto Hakyeon’s arms tightly and refusing to let go even at the slightest until all his questions have been answered.

‘Answer me.’ Taekwoon demanded. ‘This box… these writings... they’re obviously my handwriting so why? Why do you have this? Why did I give this to you? Tell me already and stop hiding things from me. Please.’

‘Taekwoon-ah.’ Hakyeon has never seen Taekwoon look so desperate and in such despair to remember.

‘Do you know how frustrating it is not to remember everything? Just when I think I’ve finally recovered my memories, I realized that I could not remember the one person I want to remember the most about.’

‘What…’

‘My memories. They’ve almost returned completely. These few weeks returning back here to Brampton and along with Ken’s help, I remember my past as ‘Leo.’ I’ve even gotten used to people calling me by my own name now. But the most frustrating this is the fact that I can’t remember you – Cha Hakyeon. Each time I try to connect my memories together, there would always be something missing because I can’t remember anything about you. When did we meet? How did we meet? Each time I try to remember, my head hurts so much and more importantly, so does my heart?’ Taekwoon’s eyes grew teary both from sorrows and frustration. ‘When I look at you, I feel like I should know who you are. You’re not just some friend, who went to the same high school as me like you say, are you? I can tell just by looking at you that you mean something much more but I can’t remember what.’

 Hakyeon could tell that he could no longer hide the truth from Taekwoon. No, he should not hide it anymore.

‘I’m sorry, Taekwoon-ah. I should’ve told you everything but I was… afraid. I was afraid that by remembering who I am, that it would also end up triggering your most traumatic experiences and memories of the war. I didn’t think that I’d cause you so much pain.’

Hakyeon took Taekwoon’s cold and trembling hands in his own and took the box from Taekwoon to show it to the latter. He opened it and took a letter out from within to show it to Taekwoon.

‘Here.’ Hakyeon placed a letter within Taekwoon’s palms.

‘What… is this?’

‘These are letters. Letters written for me from ‘Leo’ – you. These are all letters in which you wrote to me during the six years you were away for the war. You wanted to send them to me each time you wrote them but in the end you never did. It wasn’t until later on when Ken returned to Brampton that he brought these to me instead.’

Taekwoon took the letter and opened it.

Dear Hakyeon,

This is my first letter to you since I have left Brampton…

Without even knowing why, Taekwoon’s tears felt once more. It wasn’t because his memories have returned but because he realized that these letters were both special to him as Leo and for Hakyeon.

‘I should’ve told you. I should have shown you these sooner. I’m sorry Taekwoon-ah.’ Hakyeon apologized as he realized how much regret he felt not revealing the truth earlier to the latter. ‘Honestly, even I think I’m such an idiot for holding back this long. If only I’ve been truthful to you, maybe the both of us wouldn’t have been running around in circles this long. I have so much to tell you. Can you hear me out please?’

Taekwoon can see how earnest Hakyeon was being and he sincerely wanted to remember the boy as well.

The two sat side by side next to the window and read the letters together.

Hakyeon told Taekwoon of how they first met in high school and even how irritated Hakyeon felt when Leo suddenly barged into his classroom all of a sudden. Though the two have never interacted before, Leo suddenly told Hakyeon to give up or not to waste time on something Hakyeon really loved to do.

It definitely wasn’t a great first impression.

But as the two got to know one another, they became closer. They weren’t the best of friends like how Minhyuk is to Hakyeon but a special person who would be there for the other whenever. Hakyeon and Leo didn’t need to say much to each other to know what the other person was feeling and maybe that’s why Leo could tell that Hakyeon was possibly feeling the same way for him.

‘Before you left for the war, you confessed to me.’ Hakyeon told Taekwoon.

‘I did?’

It sounds like something that he, Leo, would do.

Hakyeon nodded bashfully.

‘But at that time, I really wasn’t sure how to respond. We were both young and you had such a bright future ahead of you. As you know, being in love with someone of the same gender… isn’t very easy in this city. Even Amelia ran away to elope Haerin because she knew how the public would treat her if they found out. I didn’t want to put you in the same situation especially because you’re also the minister’s son. You could have had a normal family and even children that you love. But still, even though you knew of that, you still chose to be persistent with your feelings and even hoped for my reply once you returned from the war.’

Taekwoon could tell how much Hakyeon had been thinking for Leo’s sake. The boy was kind to everyone which is also the reason why every friend he’s made are so genuine.

‘Then…’ Taekwoon said.

‘’Hmm?’

‘Your reply. What’s your reply now?’ He asked.

Hakyeon took a second and looked at Taekwoon. He could see the hesitation on Taekwoon’s face and it brought the boy to a smile. Hakyeon decided to take the initiative this time.

‘I know that you still don’t remember and I can tell you’ve gone through a difficult time fighting alone with your memories. But I just want you to know that it no longer matters whether or not you can remember anything about me anymore.’ Hakyeon took Taekwoon’s hands in his and looked directly at the latter’s eyes. ‘Because I love you.’

‘Hakyeon-ah…’

‘I’m sorry I’m so late in my response because I’m such a coward. I even thought at one point to just lie to you or run away.’ Hakyeon chuckled at himself after realizing how silly his problems were.’ But I realized, as I grew to know you as Taekwoon, I fell in love all over again.’

Leo was the first to have confessed to Hakyeon.

But Hakyeon was probably the first to have fallen in love.

He hesitated for so long about his feelings and kept thinking it might have just been a temporary delusion. Then, he realized how much he could have lost because of his hesitations.

The war almost took Leo away from this world, from Cha Hakyeon.

But Leo was alive even if it’s by another name.

However, Hakyeon realized that aside from the different names, they were indeed still the same person. As Hakyeon watched Taekwoon, he continuously fell in love. His heart never once stopped beating whenever he was near Taekwoon or even thinking about the latter.

And most importantly, God had given him another chance. A chance for Hakyeon to reunite with the person who is the most precious to him.

Hakyeon thought about it and finally found the answer.

‘So, let me say this again Taekwoon-ah. I love you. No matter who you are or where you are. I’m willing to wait for you for an eternity. I just wish to stay by your side and be there for you whenever you need me to.’

Taekwoon looked at Hakyeon’s expression while the boy was confessing to him whole-heartedly. He didn’t need to wait at all because Taekwoon knew the answer right away.

Taekwoon didn’t need no memories to know how to respond to Hakyeon’s confession because the answer was there all along.

Ever since the two had reunited in the small town of Pinewoods, the town of beginnings and meetings.

Taekwoon caressed Hakyeon’s hands, which were so warm compared to his own. Then pulled Hakyeon in to embrace him.

‘Hakyeon-ah,’ he said with a soft and gentle tone.

‘Hmm?’ Hakyeon could feel his cheeks turning red from Taekwoon’s embrace.

‘It seems like it didn’t matter in the end whether or not I have any memories of you back when I was Leo after all.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘I fell for you all over again, even as Jung Taekwoon.’

~

Years later…

‘Hyung! Hakyeon-hyung!’ Hyuk came rushing into the boutique in quite a hurry. He looked around the shop but his tan skinned friend was no were to be seen. ‘Mrs. Cha, do you know where’s Hakyeon-hyung?’

‘He’s not here to help the shop today. I think he said there are classes.’ She replied.

‘Even though it’s the weekends?’ Hyuk asked.

‘Well the school just opened so he’s always there now with the other teachers.’ She nodded.

Hyuk was in a hurry and busy looking for Hakyeon. Without even watching where he was running to, he bumps into someone familiar on the way.

‘Minhyuk-hyung!’ Hyuk realized who the person was.

‘Ow~ Han Sanghyuk. Watch where you’re going. What’s the rush?’ Minhyuk asked while he’s rubbing his head from the pain.

‘I’m looking for Hakyeon-hyung.’

‘Doesn’t he have classes today?’

‘You know about it too?’

‘Well yeah because I’m going there now myself. Want to go together?’

‘Sure!’

‘So why were you running in such a hurry anyways?’

‘I wanted to show Hakyeon-hyung this!’ Hyuk took something from his bag to show Minhyuk.

‘Oh!!~’ Minhyuk read what Hyuk had in his hands. ‘Hakyeonie is going to jump when he sees this!’

‘So will Taekwoon-hyung!’

The two finally arrived at the newly built school in the mid-districts of the large city. As they walked through the hallways, they could still smell the newly painted walls and wooden furnishing from the small classrooms.

As they made their way to find their friend Hakyeon, they heard the sounds of a piano coming from a nearby room. They carefully slide opened the door in order not to interrupt the class and saw a few more familiar faces within the audience.

‘Kong-ah, you’re here too?’ Minhyuk whispered as he and Hyuk sat down quietly next to the boy.

‘Mhmm.’ Hongbin replied.

‘We’re here too.’ Ken popped out from the other side of Hongbin which Ravi at the further end.

The five of them were immersed into the performance just as the other children were in the small class as well. As expected, this music teacher never fails to put on an enchanting performance.

Yes, the pianist was Taekwoon.

Hyuk glanced around the newly furnished classroom and saw adorable drawings hung on the walls. He even recognized the small pots of flowers hanging by the window frames.

It’s definitely something ‘that’ hyung would do. Hyuk chuckled to himself.

After the song was finished, the audience all clapped happily.

‘Thank you,’ Taekwoon said.

‘Woot! As expected of my awesome cousin!’ Ken boasted.

Taekwoon blushed a bit from Ken’s sudden praising and being a bit of an embarrassment.

‘Okay kids, off to your next class with Ms. Amelia and Ms. Haerin okay?’ Taekwoon instructed the children and off they scurried away to their cooking lesson.

‘So what brings you all here?’ Taekwoon asked.

‘What? Don’t want us to be here? We thought you’d enjoy some company and a few welcoming gifts for the school’s grand opening,’ Ravi sulked.

‘No, I don’t mean that. I really appreciate it. Thanks for coming.’

‘I didn’t think the two of you would really build a school though…’ Hongbin commented.

‘Haha, it’s always been his dream and I enjoy teaching the children music as well.’ Taekwoon smiled.

‘Ah! That’s right!’ Hyuk suddenly realized. ‘Where’s Hakyeon-hyung?’

Minhyuk also looked around and saw that his friend was the only one missing amongst the group.

‘Where’s Hakyeonie?’ He asked.

‘He heard that there’s a new art stop opened in town and went out early in the morning to grab supplies before the school officially opens.’ Taekwoon said.

‘Oh. He’s going to be so thrilled when he sees what we have to show him then,’ Minhyuk said.

Hyuk and Minhyuk glanced at one another and smiled in agreement.

‘?’ Taekwoon didn’t understand what he was talking about.

‘I’m back! Sorry it took me so long Taekwoon-ah! The merchant was being so stubborn… Oh!?’ Hakyeon came in and finally realized that all his friends were here, all in one place. ‘Wow. You’re all here!’

‘Hakyeon-hyung!’ Hyuk rushed to Hakyeon immediately.

‘Woah. Calm down Hyogi-ah. What is it?’

Hyuk took the newspaper from his bag to show it to both Hakyeon and Taekwoon.

The group of boys gathered to read the headline of the article:

“Brampton’s first ever, orphanage school… helping children in need to discover their talents and potentials.”

This school is both Hakyeon and Taekwoon’s dream. It was a place where both of them could teach the things they love the most to the people they cherish the most.

Hakyeon realized that he didn’t need to go anywhere far to fulfill his ambitions being an arts teacher for children. He realized, why not just build his own school instead? Near all the people he cares for the most?

After all, Brampton was a big city but this was the place where he made so many wonderful memories and met so many important people in his life – Minhyuk, Hyuk, Sungjae, Hongbin, Ken, Ravi and Taekwoon.

It was a small school but just big enough to help those in need. Taekwoon also helped Hakyeon in the arrangements of the school and promised to teach the children music classes during the weekends when he wasn’t performing his role as the new minister of the city. He too, found the perfect balance of doing the things he love and inheriting his father’s dreams.

Amelia and Haerin also returned to Brampton in order to help with cooking and sewing classes. They even made trips back and forth between the city and Pinewoods in order to seek out other children from the small town. There was just so much space for the orphans back in the church of Pinewoods after all.

~

After the other boys have left and the classes were over, Hakyeon and Taekwoon sat by the large cherry blossom tears in the backyard of their school.

‘To think we’re really doing it. Building a school together.’ Hakyeon said.

‘It’s what you’ve been wanting for the longest time isn’t it?’ Taekwoon asked and held Hakyeon’s hands.

‘Like you didn’t want it as much as I do? You should’ve seen your eyes glow when I mentioned about it first.’ Hakyeon teased.

Taekwoon nodded.

‘I’m glad it’s going so smoothly though. Even Amelia and Haerin came back for us. Mom even comes to take care of the children and teach them how to garden from time to time. Then there’s all our friends too.’

‘Mhmm. The children really love them. I’m almost… jealous.’

‘Haha same! I think we’re really fortunate to have met them.’

‘Hakyeon-ah.’

‘Hmm?’

‘I think I’m fortunate to have met you too and to have you by my side. Helping me through all the ups and downs. As well, helping me create these wonderful new memories.’

Hakyeon blushed a bit from Taekwoon’s words.

‘Me too.’ Hakyeon gave a surprise kiss on Taekwoon’s cheeks as his way of saying thanks as well as to embarrass the latter. It wasn’t fair that he was the only one blushing after all.

Taekwoon tilted down his head from suddenly feeling shy.

‘This tree.... it’s exactly like the one you have back at your place.’ Hakyeon commented. ‘It’s so pretty now that’s its finally spring.’

‘Isn’t it why we chose this location in the first place to build the school?’

‘Mhmm! After all, we met for the first time underneath the cherry blossoms at your house.’ Hakyeon remembers.

There was not a moment in his life that he would forget the day he met Taekwoon. It still feels like yesterday when the cherry blossoms bloomed so magnificently that it captured Hakyeon’s attention. The flourishing pink blossoms pulled Hakyeon in and thanks to them, he met Taekwoon there, sleeping ever so peacefully underneath.

It was love at first sight.

‘Taekwoon-ah.’

‘Hmm?’

‘I love you.’

‘Me too. Let’s be together forever. No matter how much time have passed, no matter where we are, what we’re doing… let’s be together for all eternity.’

[EPILOGUE]

December 6^th, 2013.

Many idols and singers were gathered together on the small stage, all waiting for the announcement to be made.

Hakyeon took a deep breath.

‘Hyung, you nervous?’ Hyuk nudged teasingly at Hakyeon. All the members were standing together, in their heavy makeup and patched stage outfits.

Hakyeon nodded. ‘My legs are feeling weak… what should I do?’

‘Otteokajii~~’ Jaehwan chuckled.

‘Don’t worry. We’re here with you and just as nervous.’ Wonshik said standing right behind him.

Calm down me, calm down. This is just a nomination… calm down. Hakyeon kept telling himself that and calming his heart that was racing miles away.

Then, the monitor in front of them and everyone watched silently at the numbers.

‘Who will be the winner of the first week of December Music Bank?’ The announcement started. ‘Digital music chart, viewers’ choice chart, broadcasting ratings and album sales…’

The six boys stood almost frozen in their spots as they watched the numbers change. More than a year since they’ve debuted together as a group called ‘VIXX’ after being through the years of training and survival show, they finally got to stand at the front and be nominated for first.

Calm down, Cha Hakyeon, Calm-

‘The winner is VIXX!’

Huh? Hakyeon heard his group’s name and looked at the scores on the charts. They were higher than their senior singer and immediately, his tears fell down. As the microphone was handed to him, he could feel his hands trembling.

Hakyeon, the oldest and the leader of VIXX, could not stop his tears as well as gratitude as he made his speech for his beloved fans.

“Our St☆rlights, you’ve all waited for a long time, haven’t you? Sorry for the long wait… and thank you, thank you very much!’ Hakyeon continued his speech while tears kept falling down.

It wasn’t just him that could not stop his tears. Even his lifelong friend, Taekwoon fell on the floor and crying his hearts out.

The younger members assisted their two crying hyungs off the stage and walked to the change room. Along the way, the staffs and other singers were all congratulating them. Hakyeon almost couldn’t believe it.

As they entered the room, the young ones all began to cheer and jump around like children. Their first win on a music show! It wasn’t just a win for the group either but also a win for their hardworking, dedicated fans who kept supporting these boys since their debut.

Just as Hakyeon finally calmed down his tears a bit, his same-aged friend approached him. Taekwoon leaned his face onto Hakyeon’s narrow shoulders and continued to cry a bit. Then, he whispered, ‘we finally did it Hakyeon-ah.’

‘Mhmm.’ Hakyeon nodded and rubbed Taekwoon’s back to comfort his friend.

Despite ever really showing any emotions in front of the camera or strangers, Taekwoon was thankful and cared a lot about those around him. He couldn’t have been more grateful to his fans and the members who were like his own family.

‘I’m glad we’re in the same group, Hakyeon-ah.’ Taekwoon whispered. ‘Thanks for everything.’

‘Me too.’

I’m glad that we’re together again, even after so long.