As Hakyeon stood on the stage in front of the many students and visitors for the day, his legs were beginning to feel weak and his body was feeling heavy.

He was nervous and embarrassed all at once. The mixed feelings he felt inside were overwhelming. He didn’t know even know where to look except down because other people’s stares only made him extra anxious.

What did I get myself into? Dammit Ken. I’ll get you back for this one day…

‘Don’t worry Hakyeon-hyung. I’m here too,’ Sungjae said. The younger was rather confident in his puffy ball gown as Cinderella. Sungjae didn’t appear nervous at all with the situation or with the attire as if he was actually looking forward for it.

Hakyeon looked to the other side and caught Hongbin standing there as if he was on top of the world with his hands on his hips. Hongbin found Hakyeon glancing at him and responded with a snort.

What did I do to make him hate me so much? Hakyeon sighed.

‘Are you all ready for tonight’s greatest even of Brampton Wings?’ The announcement started.

The cheers were thundering and whistles were being blown. The crowd was excited by such an usual event or tradition. Every year, the school would hold a Mr. and Miss Brampton during the mid-summer festival but the twist was that it was all through cross-dressing. So, Mr. Brampton was actually female whereas Miss Brampton would be a male. It was all for the joy and laughter that one simple event could bring to the many people who took their time to visit the school on this special day.

As the announcer introduced each contestant one by one, it was obvious that Hongbin had the loudest cheers. And even the freshman, Sungjae, took the crowd by surprise with his beauty.

‘Next up is class 3-B’s own maiden, Cha Hakyeon!’ The announcer startled Hakyeon who was busy zoning out to anxiety.

‘Please introduce yourself to the audience.’ The announcer asked Hakyeon and placed the microphone in front of the nervous boy.

‘Uh... Hello, my name is Cha Hakyeon from Class 3-B…’

‘Please say something more. Like your interests or hobbies? What do you like to do on your free time?’

‘Uh… drawing.’

Hakyeon was too embarrassed to know what more to say. He just wanted this event to be done and over with.

‘Anything else? What do you like to draw?’ The announcer wouldn’t let Hakyeon go without more information.

Hakyeon shook his head frantically, refusing to be asked anymore questions. Just move on please. He prayed.

‘Shouldn’t you be more specific? Like drawing flowers in particular?’ Hongbin decided to answer Hakyeon and glared straight at the boy.

‘Oh? Flowers? That’s quite… an interesting subject to be drawing about. I thought only girls are interested in such things.’ The announcer was taken by surprised, and so was the audience.

‘My mom… runs a boutique…’ Hakyeon trying to explain himself.

‘Well, isn’t that sweet of you. Helping your mom out with flowers and all. Give it up for this shy and sweet contestant, Cha Hakyeon!’ The announcer shouted.

There wasn’t much cheering however, but more so, whispers were travelling from one side of the audience to the other.

Hakyeon gulped.

He’s felt this way before. Long before he came out to others about his love and interests. Not many people looked upon flower arrangements or art as a subject of interest especially for men. There was no future in it. The judging look on the audiences’ eyes made Hakyeon want to crawl away and hide himself.

I don’t want to be here. Let me hide…

Hakyeon felt faint and before he knew it, he had fallen to the ground and everything in front of him was black.

* * * * * *

Hakyeon had a dream.

A dream or recalling of the past.

Before Minhyuk or Hyuk moved into his neighbourhood, young Hakyeon would always help around the boutique for his mother despite his small features. The neighbors would smile sweetly at the boy for helping his single mother but as Hakyeon grew, those sweet smiles faded as well.

Helping around the boutique, drawing or sketching about flowers or being more knowledgeable about the subject than his mother was something the neighbors found awkward or hard to accept.

Men was supposed to be bold, independent, and helped to serve the country in times of need. They were supposed to take part in political affairs or military services as their future. However, Hakyeon’s interest was something the neighbors didn’t know how to accept. Sure it was cute to see a young boy helping out the flower shop before but when that child grew older, and still spending so much time at the boutique rather than his studies… well, it wasn’t favoured upon.

Hakyeon had always hid himself in his shop or his bedroom to continue his studies without others watching. He knew how others looked at him and knew he was constantly being judged.

The gazes from others were too frightening. He was quiet and timid for the most part and would scurry away if he felt like others were watching him.

His classmates during elementary would tease and bully him. Joking about his feminine hobby or if he was actually a girl. Their laughters hurt a lot. Hakyeon became scared of people.

It wasn’t until after Minhyuk transferred to his school and became his neighbor that Hakyeon found someone whom he could speak and express himself to.

Minhyuk was from the outskirts of town and people where he was from did not judge others like those in Brampton. Where he came from, no matter what you chose as your path, people would support you all the way.

Minhyuk encouraged Hakyeon and helped him come out from his timid and anxious character that he had developed during his adolescents. Hakyeon was not born being a quiet boy, but it was because of other people that had changed him.

But Hakyeon could tell Minhyuk anything and everything. He’s shared stories about how he felt for his future, and his dreams or goals. Hakyeon had so much he wanted to pursue but was afraid that people would put him down for it. But Minhyuk was different.

‘Minhyuk-ah…’ Hakyeon called quietly in his subconsciousness.

‘Hakyeon-ah! You’re awake! Are you okay?’ Minhyuk rushed to his fragile friend who was laying on the bed.

‘Save me…’ Hakyeon cried and fell back into his dreams.

Hakyeon didn’t realize that it wasn’t just Minhyuk that saw how fragile he was but everyone else was worried for him as well.

‘How is he?’ Ken asked Minhyuk.

‘He’s fallen asleep again.’

‘I think we should let hyung rest a bit longer.’ Hyuk suggested.

‘I think so too.’ Sungjae commented.

Leo stood silently in the room, only able to watch and not help in the situation. How did Hakyeon become like this? So fragile… it was the first time Leo had witnessed this side of Hakyeon. He wanted to help but the moment he heard the name that Hakyeon called out in his subconscious, and that that name was not his, Leo could not approach any closer except watch quietly along with everyone else.

How he wished he could be the most important person to Hakyeon instead… how he wished that it was his name that Hakyeon called out instead…

* * * * * *

Hakyeon finally woke up from his sleep and right when his eyes opened again, he saw his bestfriend Minhyuk sitting next to his bedside.

Minhyuk was asleep and possibly tired out from worrying about Hakyeon.

Hakyeon slowly sat up in order to not wake his friend up but even the slightest rustle of the bed sheets eventually woke Minhyuk up.

‘Hakyeon-ah! Are you okay? How are you feeling?’ Minhyuk immediately sat closer to Hakyeon to assist his friend.

‘I’m fine Minhyuk-ah. Sorry for making you worry about me.’

‘Gosh! You really had me worried. Your anxiety attack haven’t happened in so long, you really had me shocked!’

Yes, this wasn’t the first time for Hakyeon to past out from feeling too nervous or anxious before. Several incidences had happened in the past but he thought he was cured. He was wrong.

‘Sorry…’

‘Why are you sorry? It’s not your fault. Ken was really sorry about signing you up for the stage. He wanted to stay and make sure you were fine but he had to go home for something.’

‘He was here?’

‘Everyone was. Even Hyuk and Sungjae. Leo too.’

‘Leo?’

‘Yeah. He was the one who carried you back here the moment we saw you faint on the stage. His face was completely pale when he saw you lying on the floor.’

Leo was worried. Worried to no end. But why wasn’t he here for Hakyeon right now then? Like his friend Minhyuk?

No, Leo has done enough. He’s done so much more than he should have. He doesn’t need to stay with me…

‘Anyways,  now that I’ve seen you awake, I’m more at ease.’ Minhyuk yawned. ‘Let’s go home. The nurse had already made enough exception for letting you stay in here even after hours. We need to check out with the guards on our way out.’ Minhyuk said.

Hakyeon nodded.

Just as the two left the nurse’s office in the middle of the night, they heard footsteps approaching them.

The corridors were empty and dark unlike this afternoon during the festival. The approaching footsteps gave the two friends an unsettling feeling in their stomach.

A silhouette slowly appeared and his face was barely visible by the starry night sky.

Hakyeon gulped.

‘Who’s there?’ Minhyuk shouted.

‘Me.’

Me? Hakyeon scrunched his eyes to make focus of the silhouette’s face and figure.

It was Hongbin. The high and mighty one of a kind, Lee Hongbin.

Why is he still here at this hour?

‘We need to talk, Cha Hakyeon.’ The younger said in a rather demanding and superior tone.

‘What?! What do you want to talk to Hakyeon about? Don’t you think he’s had enough for one day? Leave him alone!’ Minhyuk was very upset at Hongbin for picking on his friend time after time. And after Hakyeon’s accident, he was even more defensive than ever.

Hongbin glared at Minhyuk.

‘I just need to talk to Hakyeon. It won’t take long.’ Hongbin said again.

I wonder what he wants to talk to me so badly about?’

‘Hakyeon has nothing to say to you-‘ Minhyuk shouted but was stopped by Hakyeon.

‘It’s okay Minhyuk-ah. Let him talk. Can you wait for me outside of the school gates? I’ll be right there once we’re done.’

‘But!-‘

‘Please.’ Hakyeon looked pleadingly at his friend and Minhyuk knew that it was best to give Hakyeon what he wanted.

‘Fine. But you!’ Minhyuk pointed at Hongbin, ‘Don’t you dare try anything funny with Hakyeon or I won’t forgive you. Got it?’

‘I won’t.’ Hongbin said.

As soon as Minhyuk left, Hongbin got closer to Hakyeon for the ‘talk’ that he wanted so desperatedly that he couldn’t even wait until tomorrow.

‘What is it that you wanted to talk to me about?’ Hakyeon questioned.

‘…’

‘Well?’

‘…’

Hakyeon was slowly starting to lose his patience with the boy.

‘If you’re not going to say anything, I’m leaving. Minhyuk is waiting for me outside and I’m really tired.’

‘Wait!’ Hongbin grabbed desperately onto Hakyeon’s wrist.

‘I… dammit… I’m sorry!’ Hongbin apologized loudly and bowed deeply with his head laying low. He was sorry but for what?

‘Huh? What for?’ Hakyeon questioned.

‘I… I didn’t know you had anxiety attacks and dammit… I didn’t mean to make you feel that way being on stage…’

‘Huh? It’s not really your fault, I was just overwhelmed.’

‘No, it is! Ugh why am I like this?’ Hongbin scratched his head in frustration which only left Hakyeon questioning the younger’s sudden change in attitude even more.

‘Um… can I ask you something?’ Hakyeon asked.

‘What?!’ Hongbin accidently shouted too loudly and surprised Hakyeon. ‘I mean, what is it?’ He immediately lowered his voice again.

‘Did I do something to you? Did I do something to make you hate me?’

‘Hate you?’

‘Mhmm. I mean we’ve never talked or met before yet… you don’t seem to like me for some reason.’

‘… we’ve met before.’

‘Huh? When?’ Hakyeon could not remember.

‘A long time ago…’

* * * * * * A/N * * * * * *

How's everyone doing? This is my update from Seoul! Been out literally everyday since I've arrived ~ I watched Hakyeon's musical < In the Heights > twice and I'm in love with ChaBenny so much! He's so darn cute!! Also, I was able to see him off each time and he was so tall compared to me and so CUTE!!!! He was literally half a meter from me when he left, and even looked at me in the eyes and waved *faints* It's because of my blue hair ~ I swear.

I also got a chance to watch Taekwoon's musical < Monte Cristo > as well. He was a much more minor role compared to Hakyeon but he was ultra cute doing his aegyo for his character who is supposed to be 18 years old. 

NEO is just so darn cute! I don't have any other words to describe them to be honest. I'm leaving on the 20th and going back home but I'm having a huge dilemma whether to see Hakyeon for the last time or Taekwoon. It's like this hard decision where people ask you 'Do you like your mom or your dad more?' 

I didn't get to go to Ravi's R.EAL1ZE concert but I saw him leave the venue afterwards. His hard was so red and our Kim Wonshik is cute. Gosh, all of VIXX is cute! I don't know what to say xD I'm bad with words. Please support our cinnamon roll rapper's solo debut on Melon, Genie, Naver and Bugs as well as purchase his physical album! The songs in this album are all so good!! I can't stop listening to them at all. BOMB BOMB! FEEL THAT ENERGY!

P.S. I really miss Kong though. Apparently he's been sick and there's zero signs of him.