* * * * * *

Hakyeon had no idea why or how but according to Hongbin, they’ve known one another for a long time.

But how? Hakyeon has no recollection of meeting or associating with Hongbin. Yet, the boy claimed otherwise.

‘What do you mean we know each other? Besides today, I don’t remember talking or meeting you face to face before…’ Hakyeon questioned.

Hongbin sighed.

‘Your anxiety, your fear of people… I’m the one that caused it. You probably hate me so much that you forgot about me. Dammit, I didn’t mean to make the same mistake again. Please hear me out.’ Hongbin looked at Hakyeon with regrets in his eyes. The boy was no longer the almighty Lee Hongbin of the West Wing, but just another boy.

One who was sorry for his actions and tone when speaking to Hakyeon.

* * * * * *

Before Hakyeon had met Minhyuk, he’s always had a fear about bringing his interest out with others. Not everyone can accept a dream about being an event planner who’s focus of attention was on flowers and arrangement.

When Hakyeon was younger, he would hide his interests and only sketch secretly in his notebooks from time to time at school when no one was watching.

He thought no one would discover his hobbies and passion but Hongbin did.

Lee Hongbin, though three years younger than Hakyeon, had both the wealth and intellectuals that helped him skip a few grades right below Hakyeon’s class. During elementary school, Hongbin had always been the face of the Brampton before his family failed in a business and eventually became bankrupted.

Right when Hongbin’s family status collapsed, he was transferred to Hakyeon’s class and one day, he found a sketchbook that was lying on the ground after school.

He looked around to see if there was the owner of the book nearby yet he saw no one.

He picked up the worn-out sketchbook and opened it. It was obviously sketches done by a child’s. It must belong to one of his classmates.

There were pictures and images of flowers, writings about them and more. The drawings were strangely beautiful but also that of an amateur’s. Yet, Hongbin couldn’t stop flipping through the pages and fall in love with each and every single one of the images that he came upon.

But who was the owner of such an enchanting notebook?

It must belong to a girl’s if it’s filled with flowers.

At least, that’s what Hongbin had thought.

Day after day, he went around the school looking for the owner of the sketchbook. He’s never been so eager to meet someone before and the more he skimmed through the drawings, the more he fell in love with the mysterious owner.

‘What’s wrong Hakyeon-ah?’ Someone asked another boy nearby.

‘Huh?’ The boy shook his head. ‘It’s nothing.’

‘You’re still looking for what you lost a few days ago aren’t you?’ The other boy asked.

‘No, I’m not. Anyways, don’t worry about it and go on ahead.’

He lost something? That small conversation caught Hongbin’s attention. Could it be the sketchbook’s owner?

He went closer to the boys that were speaking to one another to see how they looked like. A small boy with tanned skin and narrow shoulders was sitting on a bench slumped and lost.

‘Where did it go?’ The boy asked himself. He looked as if he was about to cry.

Hongbin didn’t know how but he wanted to confirm if his suspicions were correct.

He found out that the depressed boy was Cha Hakyeon from his class but never cared to initiate any conversation with him. After all, everyone in Hongbin’s class was older than him and some was too intimidated to talk to a younger boy who was smart enough to skip grades. He found the perfect timing another day after school and placed the sketchbook at Hakyeon’s desk.

Hongbin looked for a place to hide and observe if the sketchbook’s owner was truly a boy name Cha Hakyeon’s. And indeed it was.

Hakyeon thought he lost his precious prize possession but when he returned to his class to gather his stuff before going home, he found his sketchbook placed neatly on his desk.

‘!!’

Hakyeon rushed to his desk immediately to confirm whether or not the book was the one he lost.

‘How?’ Hakyeon looked around to see who returned his book. He couldn’t see that Hongbin was hiding right outside the classroom.

The look on Hakyeon’s face was unforgettable to Hongbin.

First love.

Hongbin not only fell for Hakyeon’s beautiful sketches, but his smile as well. Hakyeon’s eyes were teary from his reunion with a simple sketchbook and at the same time, a beautiful smile of relief for it coming back to his side.

But, it wasn’t until a little afterwards that he realized that his crush could not be fulfilled.

Two men are not supposed to love.

* * * * * *

Hongbin was dejected at reality and how unaccepting the world was. He became frustrated that he could not love.

But he’s never felt this way about anyone before except for the boy he’s never had a conversation with.

Why?

Eventually, Hongbin found a way to simply grab Hakyeon’s attention.

But it was the wrong approach. And it wasn’t until everything went wrong that he realized it was too late to regret what he had done.

What he had done to Hakyeon.

‘Look at you! You’re a boy and yet you draw like a girl’s!’ Hongbin took Hakyeon’s sketchbook and waved around to show everyone in school. Everyone in the entire school was there.

‘Stop! Give it back!’ Hakyeon pleaded.

The eyes of other children was starting to hurt Hakyeon. And rumors started to flood the school ever since that day. Hakyeon lost his ‘friends’ and no one cared to approach him except a boy named Lee Hongbin.

However, Hongbin only knew how to hurt Hakyeon’s feelings.

The boy’s actions and teasing was supposed to be harmless in his mind. Hongbin just wanted the attention from Hakyeon.

But Hongbin didn’t realize that Hakyeon was eventually bullied by other boys at school because of what he did. After all, if the almighty Lee Hongbin was allowed to tease Hakyeon, why couldn’t they too?

And it was after that, Hakyeon started to have anxiety around people. He was afraid to go out and be stared at by others. He wanted to forget all about the teasing, all the bullying and people who laughed him for pursuing his dreams. He transferred out of his school and simply, chose to forget everything that had happened in the past. Forget that there was a boy named Lee Hongbin who had hurt him so harshly.

* * * * * *

Hakyeon finally remembers.

Hongbin’s face was full of regrets as he told his story to Hakyeon.

‘I… I don’t know why, but I just can’t shut up at times. Dammit, even though I said I wouldn’t make the same mistake again. I’m really sorry Hakyeon. I…’ Hongbin choked on his words. He started to tear up and not know how to continue with his apologies and make it up to Hakyeon.

When Hongbin found out that Hakyeon went to the same high school as him, but forgot about him completely, he became frustrated. He felt jealous that during the years he didn’t see Hakyeon, Hakyeon had made close friends like Minhyuk and a younger boy named Hyuk from the East Wing.

Even though I knew you first. You forgot about me…

Unlike in elementary school, Hakyeon was a lot more confident with his dreams. He had people to support him and was no longer teased for it. Hongbin was simply jealous that it wasn’t him that was next to Hakyeon and supporting his crush all the way with whatever he did.

And when he saw Leo taking Hakyeon’s arms, the face on Hakyeon was unforgettable.

The face of someone who had fallen.

Hongbin was too late.

It made him even more jealous.

If only… If only the person who made you feel this way was me and not him…

Hongbin wanted to catch Hakyeon’s attention again but he didn’t learn his lesson. Not until the two were on the stage for the contest of Miss Brampton.

When he saw Hakyeon’s face become pale, and sweat dripping down from his sides, he knew something was wrong. He had said something wrong again. He did wrong again.

Hakyeon had fallen. Hongbin wanted to catch the fallen Hakyeon but his body froze. He thought if he had approached Hakyeon again, he would only end up hurting Hakyeon once more.

Hongbin could only watch. Watch as Leo rushed onto the stage and carried the Hakyeon who had fainted from anxiety and fear.

* * * * * *

‘I don’t ask for forgiveness. I can’t be forgiven. I keep making the same mistake over and over again. I’m sorry.’ Hongbin cried out.

Hakyeon only stood there speechless.

Yes, he should be angry at Hongbin. For all the harm he’s done but seeing the younger’s depressed expression, Hakyeon couldn’t bring himself to be angry at the latter.

Hakyeon sighed.

‘Are you really sorry?’ He asked Hongbin.

‘Yes! Very! I-‘ Hongbin cried out.

‘… So you won’t do it anymore? You won’t hurt me again?’

Hongbin nodded furiously.

‘I won’t! I promise!’

Hakyeon couldn’t help but sympathize with the poor boy that was standing in front of him.

‘I got it.’ Hakyeon walked closer to Hongbin and wiped the tears that covered the boy’s face. ‘Look at you. If others saw you in this state, they would think I’m the one bullying the almighty Lee Hongbin instead.’

Hongbin immediately tried to wipe his tears away because he was afraid if anyone saw, they would misunderstand and hurt Hakyeon.

‘Although I can’t answer to your feelings, maybe we can be friends instead?’ Hakyeon proposed.

Though it wasn’t what Hongbin wished for, he already knew his little love was going to be unrequited since the beginning. But, he didn’t mind. As long as he can stay by Hakyeon’s side, being friends was just enough for him.

* * * * * * A/N * * * * * *

I'm so mean to Hongbin in my fanfics... oops? ChaBin/NBin is still my guilty pleasure though~ same with AllN tbh. 

Congrats VIXX for winning Bonsang on the 31st GDA and who cried watching Hakyeon's beautiful solo performance in the beginning? HE'S SO BEAUTIFUL *faints*