❧

Baekhyun blinks, awakening to the sound of what he assumes is his doorbell ringing. He isn't completely sure, though, considering the fact that he's been completely out of it since he left the hospital eleven hours ago. Now that he thinks about it, he doesn't even remember coming home.

Standing up, he runs into the bathroom and (half-assedly) applies some eyeliner underneath his eyes as well as some concealer on the (still gray-ish, much to his frustration) circles under his eyes before staggering downstairs. 

Upon reaching the front door, he stills in an attempt to prevent the head rush that's creeping up on him before opening it.

"Heya, you never came back so I figured I'd visit you myself!"

Baekhyun just stares in awe. What the hell? He subtly pinches himself to check if he's completely awake. It hurts - he most definitely is. "What the f-"

"That's one way to greet your best friend," Jongin scoffs with a dramatic roll of his eyes. Taking a step forward, he nearly tackles Baekhyun when he proceeds to envelope the latter in a bone-crushing hug.

Awkwardly patting Jongin on the back, Baekhyun clears his throat before pulling back and staring at him. He can hardly believe his eyes. "Does, the hospital know you're here? Did they let you out? Jesus, shouldn't you be at home resting or something?"

Jongin shrugs. "They told me I was good to go like an hour or two after you'd left."

"So I don't need to call them and double check?" Baekhyun asks, suspicion lacing his words. He chuckles when Jongin proceeds to roll his eyes a second time. "Fine, fine, I believe you."

"You got any ice cream? I'm starving," Jongin says before brushing past Baekhyun and making his way to the kitchen before the latter has time to respond.

Baekhyun follows Jongin into the kitchen and watches as the latter opens the freezer door. "You didn't eat anything at the hospital?"

"They offered me this weird- Ceasar sallad," Jongin hums while rooting through the freezer contents in search of some ice cream, "but I declined; it looked like death splattered with vinegar."

"Did they give you any tablets, pills or medicine before you left?" Baekhyun asks in a concerned tone as he hovers above the freezer door. He makes a mental note to organize his freezer in the near future because as of right now it's a complete mess.

Jongin hums something in reply (Baekhyun assumes he said 'yes') before getting out a tub of strawberry ice cream and placing it on the table behind him . "They gave me a pack of these yellow- tablets and told me to take one whenever I feel dizzy and or light-headed. They look really gross, though, so I don't know if I want to."

Baekhyun squawks. "You need to take your medicine, Jongin, the hell!" He exclaims, slamming the freezer door closed. As much as he likes Jongin, he won't argue that the latter can be a real pain sometimes.

"I'm kidding, birdbrain," Jongin chuckles. "I actually took one after ringing the doorbell. I had time to, y'know, since you took goddamn forever to answer the door."

"I was napping," Baekhyun throws his hands in the air. God, he really hates his best friend sometimes. 

"Calm down, puppy, I know."

Sighing in expasteration, Baekhyun sits down on one of the chairs surrounding the table. "Um, I don't know if this is the right time to bring this up," he starts when Jongin closes the kitchen door, "but I feel like I...kinda need to. If you don't mind, that is."

Retrieving a (clean, at least Jongin hopes) spoon out of the dishwasher, Jongin hums something in reply before sitting down across from Baekhyun. "I can't really decline your offer if you haven't told me what it is yet, can I?"

Damn you, Kim Jongin. "No, well...no." Baekhyun rolls his eyes. Same old Jongin. He watches as Jongin removes the lid to the ice cream before violently stabbing his spoon into it, penetrating the bright pink surface. "No bowl or anything? You're just gonna eat straight out of the goddamn tub?"

"You bet I am," Jongin mumbles between sloppy chews, fringe falling into his face as he leans forward. "Now, enlighten me."

"You pig," Baekhyun moans in disgust. "Take it easy, by the way. You literally just suffered a heart...whatever that was, okay? Don't make yourself vomit a second time."

"Get to the point, Baek."

There's no point in sugarcoating it. "I mean, you most likely don't remember since I'm pretty sure you were high on painkillers, but," Baekhyun starts before clearing his throat, "in case you do, did you mean what you said yesterday?"

Jongin furrows his eyebrows while shovelling a spoonful of ice cream into his mouth. "Hm?"

"Take the goddamn spoon out of your mouth and listen to me, please."

"I can't, the ice cream will melt!"

"Put the lid back on then!"

"No, I don't wa - hey, stop, gimme that!" Jongin squeals and huffs in annoyance when Baekhyun reaches across the table and somehow manages to grab the ice cream tub, carefully placing it next to him where it's safely out of Jongin's reach. He crosses his arms over his chest and pouts. Baekhyun thinks he looks...adorable, in a way.

"You'll get it back in a moment, don't get your in a twist," Baekhyun reassures Jongin before looking the latter square in the eye. "Now listen, did you, or did you not, mean what you said yesterday?"

"Refresh my memory." Jongin's right hand comes up to rub the back of his neck.

"Okay, in no way do I mean to spoil your mood or anything, but you literally said you were over him. Like, over; like, you flat out told me you were over him and that you just realized it," Baekhyun says. "And since you're not on anything at the moment, I figured it'd be a good idea to ask you about it since, well; I for one am super ing confused, not to mention worried."

Jongin blinks before something flashes across his eyes. He heaves a big sigh before putting his hands in the air. "I remember. Look, I didn't mean that quite the way it sounded, I'll admit. However, thinking back to it now; a couple hours later, my feelings haven't changed in the slightest."

Baekhyun fights the urge to cry in confusion. "Are you...no, what? Wait. Wait. You can't be serious," he babbles, scanning Jongin's face for any signs of sadness or guilt. He finds none. "I mean..., I probably sound like an idiot right now, but...you nearly went into cardiac arrest because he sent you...that, over text. And here you are, less than 24 hours later, in my kitchen, pigging out on my ice cream, telling me you're a hundred percent over him? Want me to present the ten billion reasons as to why I don't believe you?"

"Baek, I did some thinking while coming here, and I'm sure of everything I say. I was wrong, I was a gigantic douche, and I'm glad it took a calm and collected guy like Sehun for me to realize that. His text gave me a lot of things to think about, and I realized, while standing and waiting for you to answer the door, that he's right."

"Right about what?" Baekhyun asks, lower lip trembling.

"That I do need time to figure out who the hell I am and what the hell I want," Jongin states as a matter-of-factly before pointing to the ice cream. "Can I have that back now?"

"So," Baekhyun blinks, subconsciously sliding the tub towards Jongin. "That's...this is it? Everything you went through with this guy, whom you very obviously liked, gone, just like that? Look, I know you're shocked and all, but I think we need to sit down and discuss this thouroughly before-"

"There's nothing to discuss," Jongin says between loud chews and winces when he accidentally bites down on his tongue. "Nothing. I mean, I know, I sound crazy, I get that, but please, believe me. I'm not over him, per say, but...I've learned to live without him."

"You've learned to live without him?" Baekhyun echoes in surprise. "You've been apart for less than a bloody day!"

"You know what I meant!" Jongin suddenly looks up at Baekhyun. "I thought you wanted the best for me? For me to be as happy as possible? Weren't you the one who constantly begged me to do what's best for me? Seriously, I did some thinking back to the times where I'd just lie in bed and cry all day because of him - do you really want me to feel like that all over again? Do you?"

Baekhyun bites his lip. "Well...no. I don't. At all. But listen, Jongin, are you su-"

"I'm basically failing every single goddamn subject because of him anyway," Jongin groans. "Nope, it's time to move on."

"You really confuse me sometimes, you know that?"

Jongin looks up. "How so? I thought I made myself perfectly clear."

"Because," Baekhyun throws his hands in the air, "you literally went from loving him to hating him - all in the span of what; 10 hours? That's not normal, at least not in my opinion. I mean, considering the fact that you told me over the phone how much you liked, no, loved him and all. Point is, I don't want to see you hurt a second time - I don't want to you to feel guilty or even worse, change your mind when it's too late. Look, I'm your best friend, I want the best for you, however, I want you to be happy with your feelings. As in, if you truly do love him, regardless of how much it hurts, I want you to be honest with both yourself and me. But then again, you know yourself better than I do, shockingly enough." He puts his hands up in defense before sighing. "And you know what? If this is how you truly feel, good for you. Not to be mean or anything, but I really don't want a repeat of what happened three weeks ago, alright? I'm more than willing to help you through all of this, you know I am, so don't feel the need to hide yourself no matter how difficult or hopeless everything may seem."

"For starters, I do not hate him," Jongin swallows his ice cream. "I'm just saying that this is what may be best for me at the moment, both mentally and physically. And secondly, I know you're willing to help me and for that I'm eternally grateful, I really am," he shoots Baekhyun a warm smile, "however, I feel like he was right when he said we weren't meant to be together yesterday. Not to mention that entire empty-parking-lot thing was basically him demanding we break up anyway, so."

"It's true that taking your mind off him for a long while will lead to your mental and physical health improving, I'm not denying that," Baekhyun nods, "but it's just...this is such a giant change of mind, are you sure this is how you truly feel? I don't want you crawling back to me in two weeks with tears running down your face because you asked for him to come back only to realize he's moved on, y'know what I'm saying?"

Jongin nods. "I get it a hundred percent. And I also feel like he deserved someone better than me anyway. Nothing against him, obviously, but yeah."

"I really hope you meant that in terms of how-well-you've-got-your--together and not in terms of looks or personality, because there's definitely nothing wrong with you in those aspects," Baekhyun chuckles while shaking his head in disbelief and exhaling slowly. "Damn it. This..., man. I know you don't wanna hear it, but I'm sorry. That you had to go through all this...bull, that is. Jesus. Oh well, as long as you're happy. Hey, what's that saying again - 'there's plenty of other dudes in the sea'?

"...I think you mean 'fish'," Jongin chuckles before shrugging. "This . But hey, I'll view it as a learning experience."

"What's the moral of all this, then?" Baekhyun asks. "'Always check to make sure you've got your together and neatly assorted upon entering a relationship'?"

Jongin lets out a loud laugh before nodding. "Yeah, that's one way to put it."

"Do you think he'll...you know, wait for you? Or, to be exact, do you want him to?"

"Uh. Seeing as I totally ed everything up I doubt he'll wait for me. Who knows, maybe he's found somebody new; a rich young man, unlike me. Either way, I don't see why he would, honestly. Do you?"

Baekhyun raises an eyebrow. "I really don't know. But like," he leans in, "he did give you time and space, don't you think he might've done that so you could figure everything out and then come back to him?"

"He deserves someone better than me, someone who's got his together. I mean, sure, I might 'figure everything out' in the end, but God knows how long that'll take. I don't want him to wait, I want him to be happy and be with someone who can return his feelings properly, you feel me? Look, I know how complicated this may seem, but in the end, it is what it is - I tried getting together with someone, I ed up and now it just...ended. It's over. I stand by it. But that's okay, that's life, right? Haven't you also experienced the same thing?"

"Um," Baekhyun mumbles before scratching the back of his head. "I've never really dated, so to say. I've mainly just...frolicked. You know, slept and fooled around with a bunch of random dudes. I do think I got together with one of them two years ago. Very briefly, though. It crumbled, though, which kinda ."

Jongin nods in understanding. He really didn't know this about his best friend. "May I ask why?"

"It's okay, it's no big deal, I barely even remember his name anyway," Baekhyun laughs. "And I can't quite remember, but I'm pretty sure it had something to do with him thinking I was too...exuberant, I guess?"

"Huh? You mean, you were polar opposites?" Jongin chuckles. "Come to think of it, me and Sehun are polar opposites as well, kinda."

Baekhyun leans in, clearly interested. "Really? How so?"

"I'm the calm-ish type whereas he's the kind of...bold and aggressive type, I guess?"

"Aggressive?" Baekhyun gapes. "In what way?"

"He frickin' beat some dude half to death three days ago while we were visiting his uni," Jongin says and chuckles when he sees Baekhyun's jaw practically hit the table. "No, really, he did. It was so...weird."

"Even more reason to stay the hell away from this dude," Baekhyun says in expasteration. "Wait, he just...did it, y'know, without reason or anything? He just walked up to some random kid and punched him?"

Jongin suddenly swallows. "Well, no, not exactly."

"Then what happened?"

Sighing, Jongin runs a hand through his hair. He really regrets bringing this up. "I may or may not have been in the midst of talking to this dude, and Sehun got, well...angry."

"Are you kidding? What were you guys talking about that pissed him off so much?" Baekhyun asks, eyes twinkling. "I wanna know, tell me!"

"I basically ran into him in the hallway and we just kinda started...chatting. I didn't want to, though! He just kind of initiated a conversation and I didn't really have the balls to walk away, he was super intimidating, trust me."

"What happened afterwards?" 

"He, uh," Jongin stammers, "said I was cute, offered me a drink - which I declined, and gave me his number."

Baekhyun lets out a not-so-manly squeal and leans in so he's practically lying on the table. "His number?! Did you accept it? What happened then? Did Sehun find out?"

Jongin nods. "Sehun kinda just came out of nowhere and saw that I was talking to the dude, found out he had offered me his number and, well, turned into the Hulk."

"I bet," Baekhyun whistles. "So I guess Sehun beat him to a pulp three seconds later then, or?"

"Yeah, basically. He growled something along the lines of 'if you don't get away right this instant you'll be waking up in a body cast' or something, it was pretty terrifying."

"I mean, I guess that shows how much he cared about you," Baekhyun shrugs. "However, I don't think beating the life out of that poor guy was the right thing to do, y'know? Although I kind of understand where he was coming from, considering the fact that you accepted his number and all, but oh well." He suddenly makes a disgusted face. "Ugh, rich people. What is it with them and this weird- mindset of theirs that they can just prey on random middle class people and get away with it? Like I said before, absolutely no respect for others whatsoever."

Jongin squawks. "It's not my fault! Like I said, that guy - whose name was Marcus or Mark, can't remember - was super ing creepy, like he had jet black hair and this awfully expensive suit on as well as this piercing stare, I didn't have it in me to turn him down, especially not since we were literally standing in the middle of an empty hallway. Hell, I think Sehun might've saved me a black eye."

"...I doubt this Marcus or Mark dude would've punched you in the face for not accepting his number," Baekhyun says flatly. "But I understand, Sehun totally overreacted, holy . While you're over here figuring everything out he should sign up for some anger management classes over there," he adds with a dry chuckle.

"It's not like I was gonna give him a ing call regardless if Sehun found out or not. Anyway, yeah, what were we talking about again? You?" Jongin snaps his fingers together. "Right, your...boyfriend, I guess? Your ex boyfriend?"

Baekhyun blinks at the sudden change in subject before clearing his throat. "Right, uh, he was the calm type whereas I was, and still am, the over-enthusiastic bubbly type, I think that got on his nerves after a while. Since, you know, I'd never shut up. Point is, relationships aren't my thing, but who knows." He clears his throat again and averts his gaze to the left. "Anyway, nevermind that; this is about you. And regarding what you said about Sehun a couple of minutes ago, that's true, I guess, yeah."

"Right? A failed relationship," Jongin says, raising and wiggling two fingers at the last word, "nothing more, nothing less. It , but hey, it happens to everyone. Like he said yesterday, we simply just weren't meant to be together, and he's right, y'know? It doesn't necessarily have to be a bad thing."

"Will you miss him?"

"I...dunno. I mean, I don't really think he'll miss me that much, to be honest. I mean, I know for a fact that he cares about me but I don't think he felt the same way towards the end compared to how he felt in the beginning. When we first met, that is. I mean, he's such a kindhearted guy - a real gentleman, he most likely wanted to break up from the beginning but didn't know how to say it. Either that or he didn't have it in him to...well, break my heart, I guess."

"That's...understandable, actually," Baekhyun nods. "I mean...yeah."

Jongin in his bottom lip and furrows his eyebrows together when he sees the blank look on Baekhyun's face. "What?"

"Nothing, it's just that the lack of tears in your eyes at the moment really, really makes me worried."

" off, Baek," Jongin scoffs before finishing the rest of the ice cream. "You know damn good and well I won't cry."

"Speaking of tears," Baekhyun leans in closer, "did you ever cry for him?"

Taken aback, Jongin blinks. "Um. Yesss...?"

"Poor thing," Baekhyun coos and crosses his legs. "No but seriously, maybe you're right. Moving on seems like the best and healthiest option right now, I won't lie. And I mean, hey, at least you gave the whole dating site thingy a shot, right?"

"Yup."

"Not to mention that there are tons of other hot guys in the sea!"

"You've already said that. And still, I think you mean 'fish'," Jongin says with a sigh.

"I changed it up a bit; 'hot guys' sounds better," Baekhyun smirks, "a lot better."

Jongin rolls his eyes. "Whatever," he mumbles before proceeding to balance the spoon on his index finger. It doesn't work. "He'll be fine, I bet. I'd be surprised if he hasn't already bought himself a new car to make up for everything."

"Didn't you tell me all about how rich he is? Oh yeah, right, I saw his car a couple of days ago as well as his goddamn clothing - boy looks like he owns the entire country, Jesus," Baekhyun says. "Who knows, maybe he'd end up viewing you as an accessory."

"What do you mean?" Jongin asks with wide eyes.

"You know how the rich tend to be, they don't regard or treat people like us, y'know, those who aren't on their rich- level, like humans, and have zero respect for anything whatsoever. It's a little hard to explain." Baekhyun shrugs. "And y'know, as your relationship progressed he'd end up wearing you as a fancy accessory to go well with his fancy- suits and fancy- car. Or cars, what do I know."

"I think he owns seven, he told me two weeks ago."

", I both hate and envy the hell out of this dude, gosh," Baekhyun seethes before regaining his composure. “Not saying he'd stop caring about you, but yeah. And this sounds super ing corny and whatnot, but I kinda miss the way we used to be, you feel me? Like, ever since you got that app; during that entire month when you were messaging and talking to and about Sehun I couldn't help but feel like you weren't yourself. And I kinda...how do I put this...miss how we used to be. Y'know, like best friends and all?" He blinks before flailing his arms around. "I sound so selfish right now, I'm so sorry, oh my God."

"You mean you felt like we were," Jongin plays with his hair, "drifting apart? Like, we weren't as close as before?"

Baekhyun nods. "But don't take what I just said to heart, please, I'm being selfish."

"No, I get it. That stuff tends to happen, it's normal."

Shooting Jongin a thumbs up, Baekhyun smiles. "Look," he says, quickly changing the topic, "this isn’t about Sehun anymore, like I said yesterday. I mean, as much as I want, and wanted, you two to be happy together, I want you to do what makes you happy and nothing else. Seriously, I nearly lost you yesterday and I definitely don’t plan on nearly losing you again. As surprised as I am at how...quickly you seemed to change your mind about this whole...situation, I’m all for it if it means getting to see you happy, really. You've been through so much bull lately, God."

“Dude, you’re not my psychologist.” Jongin leans back in his chair and proceeds to shovel an entire spoonful of ice cream in his mouth. “But I get it, I’m surprised too, it’s just that, y’know; I’m...tired.”

“I feel you,” Baekhyun says in a sympathetic tone. “I mean, , I can’t remember the last time I saw you smile. Like, a real smile; teeth and . I mean, not that you haven’t been smiling lately, but yeah. I think you know what I mean. Not to mention you're still pretty goddamn skinny, Jesus. Actually, now that I think about it, I’m like ninety nine percent sure this whole...thing, did you more bad than good. I mean, no offense or anything, really. But regardless, I'm happy to have you back.”

Jongin nods before scraping at the bottom of the tub with the spoon. "I agree, though. I mean, I get where he's coming from; if my partner constantly refused to hold my hand in public or even introduce me as their partner I'd probably go nuts as well."

"This whole entire month has been nothing but a hot mess," Baekhyun sighs and runs a hand across his face. "God, it feels like everything was going just fine before you made the stupid- decision to download that godforsaken app. Hey, speaking of which, do you still have it on your phone?"

"You mean the dating thingy? Uh," Jongin reaches into his pocket and pulls out his phone. "...yeah."

"Are you gonna keep it and look for someone else or delete it and move on so we both can forget about this whole episode entirely?" Baekhyun shoots Jongin an expectant (and desperate) gaze. 

Jongin raises a contemplative eyebrow. "I mean, I don't see the harm in keeping it, but," he says while swiping his thumb across the middle of the screen, "I won't. It's probably for the best, anyway."

Baekhyun watches with relief in his eyes as Jongin proceeds to tap on the screen once before placing his phone on the table. "Did you do it? Is it gone?"

"It is. Boy, that felt good." Jongin shoves the empty ice cream tub aside before cracking his knuckles. He suddenly feels as if a gigantic weight has been lifted off his shoulders and for the first time in what feels like forever, he feels like can finally breathe a little easier. 

"I bet. God damn, to think that this all happened because of a mothering dating app," Baekhyun chuckles before reaching across the table and placing a hand on Jongin's arm. "Look, I know this gonna sound super corny, but I'm really proud of you for doing this. I mean, you went from being in total denial to finally coming to terms with your feelings. Not to mention you actually had it in you to not only move on, but to forgive him as well. That takes guts, seriously."

Jongin wants to roll his eyes because God, Baekhyun can be so incredibly dramatic sometimes, but he ends up blushing instead, much to his dismay. "Thanks, I guess. Really, it's no big deal. I mean, it that it had to end this way and I feel bad, I really do, but I mean, what can I do? I was a selfish, arrogant prick and I, well, paid the price for it, I guess. The next time I meet someone, hopefully I'll have redeemed myself. No, really, I hate that it had to end like this and I really wanna call or text him and see how he's doing since I'm a little worried for him as well, but hey," he shrugs before rubbing the back of his neck, "like they say, you need to move on someday."

"Look at you, all grown up and ," Baekhyun coos and yelps when Jongin slaps his hand. "I speak the truth! Stop hitting me all the time, gosh." He shakes his head in disbelief and suddenly whips his head up to look at Jongin. "Hey, on the bright side, guess what?"

Jongin blinks. "What?"

"Now that you're Sehun-less, we can go out and hit on guys together! Like I said before; a couple of weeks ago, remember?" Baekhyun's eyes flash with excitement and he's practically bouncing up and down in his seat. "Doesn't that sound like fun?"

Nearly choking on his own spit, Jongin stares at Baekhyun in horror. "What? No way!"

"Aw, why not?" Baekhyun pouts. "I'll guide you through everything, so there's no need to worry! It won't be awkward, I swear! I mean, you do tend to be awkward 99% of the time, but alas."

"Gee, thanks. And no way, me choosing to get over someone doesn't automatically equate to me feeling the urge to go to some club and bang every dude I can get my hands on."

Baekhyun blinks before bursting into laughter. "That was oddly...specific. And hey, who says we need to go to a club? That stuff works just fine in a bookstore, trust me."

"You mean like that one time when you hit on that attractive bookstore guy and got r-"

"I got rejected, I know, shut up," Baekhyun's hands fly up to cover his ears. "It happened like a goddamn week ago, what makes you think I forgot? Anyway, what do you say? doesn't need to be involved, by the way."

"Then what's the point?" Jongin blurts out. He suddenly feels like dying. Damn me and my big mouth. "Okay, I didn't mean that quite the way it sou-"

"True, true," Baekhyun nods slowly before smirking. "Look at you, you're finally learning! So is that a yes? I know the perfect place to start!"

Jongin fights the urge to facepalm. This can't be good. "Maybe, we'll see. And what place?"

"There's this fancy- coffee shop I know that's located a half block away from the house," Baekhyun chirps and pulls out his phone before opening up the Safari app. "Since you seem to like chill dudes with a calm personality, that coffee shop is perfect. Seriously, every barista who's ever worked there is boyfriend material, I swear." He looks up at Jongin with a smile but it soon fades when he sees the latter fidget. "I mean, only if you want to, that is. Look, if you're feeling uncomfortable with this whole thing-"

"No, no, it's fine," Jongin reassures Baekhyun with a nod. "I'll never come to terms with myself if I don't at least experiment, y'know?"

Baekhyun bites his lower lip in worry before nodding. "Are you sure? Remember, if you want to take it nice and slow from now on and take a break from relationships, we can always-"

"Baek, it's fine! That place sounds perfect, we should definitely go there," Jongin says while waving his hands in front of Baekhyun's face. "It's fine, I swear! But like...nevermind."

Baekhyun puts his phone on the table and leans in. "Tell me what's on your mind."

"It's just that," Jongin starts and rubs the back of his neck again, "what if...you know...him."

"Huh?" Baekhyun raises an eyebrow but his lips soon form an 'o'-shape when it hits him. "I highly, highly doubt he'll be there. How often do trillionaires hang out in coffee shops when they could be counting their savings or buying new cars and , what do I know? Point is, he won't be there. I promise." He sighs and places a reassuring hand on Jongin's hand when the latter doesn't reply. "Look, how about this - we'll keep a look-out for him, alright? And I promise, if I see him inside or outside the shop, I'll let you know immediately and we'll be out of there in an instant, how does that sound?"

Jongin furrows his brows, seemingly deep in thought before nodding slowly. "Not that I mean to be a or anything, it's...I don't know."

"Because you're scared of falling again," Baekhyun says quickly. "That the feelings might return. I understand, don't worry." He grabs his phone and proceeds to type something in the search bar. "But hey, perhaps hitting up a new guy might take your mind off of him, at least for a little while, right? Not to mention it's all fun and games at the end of the day."

"Will you be doing it as well? You know, meeting other people?"

"Say 'guys'," Baekhyun deadpans. "Saying 'others' makes me seem straight and whatnot," he adds before shuddering dramatically, turning his attention back to his phone. 

Jongin rolls his eyes. "Fine; will you be hitting up guys, then?"

"Will I? That's like my hobby." Baekhyun shoots Jongin a sly look. "I try doing it whenever I can."

"That," Jongin chuckles, "really makes you sound like a...nevermind, I won't say it."

"You mean a ?" Baekhyun raises an eyebrow and Jongin nearly falls off his chair because how can Baekhyun be so direct??? "You can say it, you know, you're not offending me so don't worry. And I'd say I am, in a good way, of course." He suddenly smirks. "A guy I met a couple of months ago called me that after I told him I must've banged at least twenty guys in my life. Let's just say both he and I went home satisfied that night."

Jongin covers his ears and groans. "I don't want to hear all about your lovey-dovey affairs, it makes my life sound lame. Anyway, have you found the damn place yet, or?"

"As a matter of fact, I have," Baekhyun says before putting his phone away. "Hopefully that cute blond still works there. He gave me free coffee once, by the way."

"Good for you," Jongin mumbles under his breath before resting his head on his right hand. "If my make-up work isn't too difficult I'll come with you."

"Make-up work? The hell? I don't know what's more worrisome - the fact that you're actually willing to study of your own accord or the fact that you're even contemplating studying after getting out of the hospital only an hour earlier. We weren't assigned anything over the weekend, by the way, Christmas break is coming up, did you forget? Or did the goddamn anxiety thing wipe every out single memory of yours?"

"Hey, shut up! And I don't know if you remember or not, but I'm basically failing every single subject, no thanks to you."

"What, really? Oh. Right. ." Baekhyun scratches the back of his head. "I can uh, help you out if you want me to."

"As if I'd decline," Jongin chuckles. "I was actually told a few days ago that if I fail History, which I'm alarmingly close to doing, I'll be held back a year. The teachers all gave me an -load of assignments to do over the weekend. So yeah, I'm willing to accept all the help and tutoring I can get at this point, honestly."

Baekhyun whistles. "Sounds tough. Hey, I'll check my schedule and see what I can do, 'right?"

Jongin nods before letting out a cough and averting his gaze. "Hey uh, I forgot to say this earlier."

With a confused look, Baekhyun looks at Jongin. "Hit me up," he says before raising an eyebrow.

"I don't know how to formulate this without sounding like a total moron, but," Jongin starts and rubs the back of his neck, "sorry."

Baekhyun blinks. "Whatnow?"

"Sorry for all...this," Jongin murmurs while gesturing between them. "You know, for dragging you into this whole thing. Forcing you to put up with my mindless babbling 24/7. I agree that this whole month's been a hot mess; no, scratch that, it was absolute hell for the both of us and for that, I'm really goddamn sorry. I mean , look at you - you look like you haven't gotten a good night's sleep in years. I hope you didn't think I was ignoring you all that time or taking advantage of you - I shouldn't have gotten you involved in the first place, I'm sorry. Jesus."

The room falls into silence and for a moment Jongin worries if he's said something wrong, but his worries soon subside when Baekhyun nods. The latter sits in silence with his brows knitted together, seemingly deep in thought, for a good two minutes before he looks up. "It's okay."

Jongin raises an eyebrow. "What? Are you sure?"

"I'll admit, it did get a little frustrating at times since I thought you had your together and all figured out, but hey, what can I say, that was just me trying to be a good best friend," Baekhyun says with a shrug before lowering his voice. "Look, I knew how much your breakup with Jenny affected you so I knew I had to help you through this. Even if it didn't really work out. Point is, you don't need to apologize. I did my best to help and you did your best to make it through. Speaking of which, I'm sorry for slapping you like I did. I still feel terrible about it, I'll admit. Regarding that whole 'me-looking-like-a-zombie' thing, I haven't slept in weeks but it's mostly as a result of stressing over all the upcoming exams we have after the break. Oh, and sure, you were annoying as hell sometimes but what the ; you were confused and...well, newly gay. I don't blame you for being confused - I'd be running around like a headless chicken if I were in your shoes."

Jongin blinks. "Newly gay?" He groans and slaps a hand on his forehead. "Just say newly out of the closet, for God's sake!"

Baekhyun puts up a hand in defense. "Fine." He looks at Jongin with a blank look on his face. "Hey, do you mind if I ask you something? This is kinda off-topic, though."

"Go ahead. If it has anything to do with how many dudes you've banged this week, though, I'm leaving."

"No, no," Baekhyun laughs, "it doesn't have anything to do with that. My question was, how did you...you know..."

"Realize?" Jongin finishes and bites his lip when Baekhyun nods. "Uh, well. It's sort of really embarrassing."

"If you don't feel like telling me you don't hav-"

"I had a dream," Jongin blurts out and instantly covers his mouth with his hands before burying his face in his arms. He makes a mental note to duct tape his lips together the minute he gets home because this whole accidentally-humiliating-himself-in-front-of-his-friends-because-of-his-big-mouth thing is seriously starting to get on his nerves. 

Baekhyun blinks before doubling over in laughter, letting out a string of unattractive guffaws as he clings onto the edge of the table for support. "Wow, I wasn't expecting that, okay then. Nice."

Jongin watches Baekhyun in both humiliation and amusement. "I think I told you a couple of weeks ago, didn't I?"

Wiping at his eyes, Baekhyun shrugs. "God, I don't remember. So, tell me," he says in a smug tone as he leans across the table, "how big was he?"

Jongin nearly falls off his chair. "Whatthedidyoujustsay!"

"What? Come on, tell me, don't be shy. It doesn't need to be realistic, you know."

"It wasn't about that - God, Baek, I ing hate your ," Jongin splutters as he nearly chokes on his own spit. "Get your dirty- mind out of the gutter, for once, you goddamn idiot!"

"I can't help it," Baekhyun retorts, "Sehun's an attractive guy, what do you want me to say? Anyway, shut up and answer the question."

"I told you, it wasn't a se-"

"You're as red as my hair, moron." Baekhyun rolls his eyes and Jongin fights the urge to reach out and smudge his eyeliner. "You ain't slick. Now, for the third time, tell me."

Jongin inwardly curses. He really needs to learn to control his blushes. He makes a mental note of that, too. "Okay, it was, you know, that, but-"

"So you admit it? It was a dream?"

"It was, but," Jongin exclaims, putting great emphasis on the last word, "I didn't get to see his," he coughs before looking away, "you know."

"His gigantic di-"

" off, you moron!" Jongin rests his head on the surface of the table and exhales in agony. He hates his best friend sometimes. No, scratch that - he detests him sometimes.

"What a shame," Baekhyun pouts. "On the bright side, I'm glad you came to terms with your uality, really," he adds with a pearly white smile. 

"I gue-"

"Hey, wait, hang on," Baekhyun puts up a hand, "is that why Jenny left you?"

Jongin looks up and rests his chin on the table. "Huh?"

"Come to think of it, you've never told me why she left you. I mean, all I know is that she did and that you felt like for a solid month afterwards, but," Baekhyun looks at Jongin. "I never got to know why. I mean, that is, if you feel like discussing thi-"

"She said I was acting hella weird and not giving her enough attention," Jongin huffs before playing with his fingers under the table. "Basically."

"That's it? Girls are always like that." Baekhyun snorts. "There's got to be more to it than that, I'm positive."

"She was all like 'Jongin, you aren't holding my hand or hugging and kissing me as much as you used to' and 'you're spending way more time with Baekhyun than you are with me and I'm tired of it'", Jongin mimics Jenny's high-pitched voice and chuckles to himself afterwards. "I have no clue what that last part has to do with, well, anything, but girls will be girls, I guess."

"Now you know exactly why I'm gay," Baekhyun snorts and clears his throat when he sees Jongin's less than amused look. "Coming from someone who's never had a girlfriend in his entire life and doesn't plan on getting one either, that sounds like a pretty ty reason to break up, if I do say so myself. Oh, and she actually said that last part? You know, the part about me? Huh. Now I know why she gave me dirty looks every time she saw me. I never liked her anyway."

"She was always kinda strange, but she was so pretty," Jongin sighs. "Anyway, yeah. I think you're able to understand why she chose to end it."

Baekhyun blinks. "I don't, actually."

"You're a straight-A student, use your gigantic- head!"

"Wait, are you implying she left you because she was starting to get gay vibes from you?" Baekhyun asks and presses his lips together when Jongin nods. "Holy damn. I never really liked her, but still. Poor girl."

"I mean, I'm assuming," Jongin says with a roll of his (tired) eyes. "I have no idea, really. But it's not that far-fetched, you know? Since I was starting to feel...different then."

"Correction, you were starting to feel gay as hell," Baekhyun corrects Jongin and hisses when the latter proceeds to kick him in the shin. "It's true! Anyway," he continues while reaching down and rubbing his leg, "speaking of you being gay as hell, should we get going?"

"Get going? Where?"

"The coffee shop, lunkhead! Haven't you been listening?" Baekhyun tuts in disappointment before standing up and stretching. "Let's leave this ty episode behind and start fresh, shall we?"

"Baek, I'm not looking for a goddamn relationship and you know it." With a groan, Jongin gets up and out of his chair. "I'm only going because-"

"-because you're just as eager to ogle attractive dudes as I am, I know," Baekhyun finishes with a wink and chuckles when Jongin shoots him an evil glare. "Don't kid yourself, Kim Jongin, it's the bloody truth and you know it damn good and well. And who knows? You might find somebody new if you're lucky. And hey, it'll help you take your mind off Sehun for a while. A long while, hopefully."

Grabbing the empty ice cream tub, Jongin (carelessly) tosses the spoon in Baekhyun's sink. "Yeah. Hopefully."

Walking towards the kitchen door, Baekhyun quickly pulls it open. He takes three steps forward before zooming back into the kitchen and peeking his head through the door. "By the way, you owe me a coffee."

Jongin whips his head up to stare Baekhyun square in the face. "Why the he-"

"I never ing said you could barge into my house and help yourself to my ice cream, did I?" Baekhyun shakes his head in disbelief as he watches Jongin throw the ice cream tub in the trash can. He checks his watch. "The shop closes in like three and a half hours, we'll have plenty of time to check out all the guys we want, come on, get over here!"

"Hold your horses." Jongin stops dead in his tracks when a certain thought hits him. "Wait, do you mean The Coffee Pot? The one down the street?"

"Seeing as I live in the middle of the freaking forest, I wouldn't exactly say 'down the street'," Baekhyun says but nods anyway. "But yeah, that one. Why do you ask?"

"Isn't that place like, super ing expensive? Like, if I remember correctly a regular latte costs like seven bucks." Jongin runs a hand through his hair and moans in disgust when his palm sticks to his hair. How on Earth did I manage to get ice cream in my goddamn hair?? "How on Earth will I be able to afford one? Let alone two?"

Baekhyun blinks before rolling his eyes. "You may not be a millionaire like some people we know, or, to be exact - you know," he laughs, "but you most certainly have enough for two regular- lattes. Not to mention we're not going for the coffee, are we? You'll be fine, stop worrying. Now hurry the hell up, the hot coffee-shop dudes are waiting," he says in both a hurried and excited tone before grabbing Jongin's arm and literally dragging the latter out the door and into the hallway.

❧