❧

Are you sure he'll be fine? Like, a hundred percent sure?

We've checked through everything twice, he'll be okay.

Can you check again? Just to make sure?

Sir, he's going to be alright.

The first thing that (literally) hits him is the blinding whiteness. Gah, what the . Man, that hurts. Squeezing his eyes shut, he clenches his fists when he feels something heavy on top of his chest. He doesn't dare open his eyes. To his right, he can barely make out the sound of what he assumes is two people talking; he's at least a hundred percent sure one of them is a man.

I demand you do another check, he's my best friend, he can't die!

Sir, calm down and lower your voice. He's going to be fine, there's nothing to worry about. We expect him to make a full recovery in about a week or so.

He hears the faint sound of a door closing and he clenches his jaw when a headache starts to creep up on him. God, how annoying. His attempts to shove the voices away but ultimately fails given the fact that his mind is completely numb and void of...well, anything. Damn it. He opts to stay silent for unknown reasons.

A strong smell hits his nose and he fights the urge to gag. He still doesn't open his eyes, though. He does his best to listen for any other sounds besides the ones right next to him but doesn't hear anything. Now that he thinks about it, the only thing he hears at the moment, besides the man's voice, is a strange rhythmic-like beeping noise. It does nothing to settle the headache that's threatening to make his head explode and it instantly gets on his nerves. Moving his left arm, he does his best to locate the source of the irritating and ear-piercing noise. Confusion fills his head when his fingertips suddenly come in contact with something soft and smooth. Moving his fingers in a grasping motion, his confusion only doubles. The hell. The beeping noise agitates him even more and he lets out a yelp of pain when his hand flies up and hits something that feels roughly like a steel bar. Damn it all.

He rubs at the sore spot on his hand and is seconds away from reaching out and trying again when he suddenly hears a voice coming from right next to him, nearly scaring him half to death.

"Jongin!"

Eyes snapping open in shock (he's eternally grateful for the fact that the adrenaline coursing through every vein in his body makes him immune to the harsh brightness of...wherever he is), he quickly covers his entire face when said adrenaline gradually wears off. Head spinning, he peeks through a few fingers, looking to the right, and comes face to face with none other than -

"Oh my God, I thought you were dead, thank God you're alive, thanks for not dying on me, you really are a true best friend."

Baekhyun.

Jongin blinks before attempting to sit upright and fails when his back refuses to support him. ing . He wordlessly scans his eyes across Baekhyun's face. The latter looks absolutely exhausted, not to mention worried and also a bit...relieved? Jongin isn't quite sure. What he is sure of, however, is that Baekhyun has got a nice set of dark circles under his eyes - they're visible even though Baekhyun has applied layers and layers of concealer on top of them; Jongin can tell. Baekhyun's hair is a matted red mess on top of his head and Jongin figures he hasn't combed through it in at least a day or two. The redhead's bag lies discarded somewhere on the floor under the bed and Jongin wants nothing more than to stop the redundant noise that's continuing to burn holes in his brain. He turns away and blindly reaches for the nearest wire he sees. Stop the goddamn noise before I go mad, for 's sake.

Only, he doesn't get a chance to do anything else before Baekhyun literally flies forward and nearly chops Jongin's (already injured) hand in half when he's seconds away from grabbing at the wire that's dangling in front of his face. Hissing in pain, Jongin pulls back and caresses his hand before shooting Baekhyun a dark glare. His head still feels like it's stuffed with cotton and he can't even think straight; and the newly added pain in his hand does nothing to make him feel better.

"That's your heart monitor," Baekhyun chuckles in a soft tone, "don't wanna mess with that, regardless of how annoying it is. Otherwise you're history, kiddo."

Exhaling in frustration, Jongin's gaze travels downwards and he nearly falls off the bed upon realizing he's wearing an oversized, light blue shirt. What the . He blinks in confusion and jumps a bit when he hears Baekhyun laugh.

"Every patient needs to wear one of those, don't worry."

With a small nod, Jongin lies back down again. He swallows and is surprised at how dry his throat is. He doesn't remember the last time he's had anything to drink, and boy, does he crave a glass of water. Turning to face Baekhyun, Jongin opens his mouth to speak and barely avoids a coughing fit when his words get stuck halfway in his throat. He closes his mouth again and opts to stay silent for the time being instead. The clock on the wall strikes eight. God damn it.

"The nurse just left. Sorry for waking you; are you feeling okay?" Baekhyun asks after a couple of minutes and in his bottom lip when Jongin suddenly gestures something with his hands. "Huh?" His eyebrows furrow in confusion when Jongin balls his right hand into a fist and places it in front of his mouth, just by his lips. Baekhyun fights the urge to giggle and he mentally punches himself in the face. Grow up, you're way too old for jokes like that. His eyes widen when it suddenly hits him and he quickly mutters an 'oh!' before bending down and fetching his backpack from underneath the bed. ping it, he pulls out a bottle of water at lightning speed and unscrews the cap.

"Sorry, I didn't know what you meant," Baekhyun says sheepishly before motioning for Jongin to sit upright. "Come on, sit up straight, I don't want you choking on this, the nurses will kill me - come to think of it, she did tell me not to give you anything but whatever, let's make this quick." And with that, he carefully guides the bottle to Jongin's lips and watches as the latter proceeds to greedily chug half the contents in less than a minute. Baekhyun just gapes in astonishment before putting the cap back on and placing the bottle back in his bag. He turns to look at Jongin with a small smile. "Better now?"

"Much better," Jongin manages to croak, attempting a small smile of his own. The water has cleared the fog in his head, much to his surprise, and he exhales in irritation because seriously, he'd much rather prefer not to get the urge to go to the bathroom anytime soon. "Thanks."

"Anytime." Baekhyun shoots Jongin a thumbs up before his expression turns serious again. Jongin doesn't like that look on him, at all. "The nurse said you should be fine. You'll probably experience minor headaches and head rushes every now and then, but she said she'd prescribe you painkillers in that case."

With a small nod, Jongin attempts to move his legs and sighs in frustration when he realizes they're both stiff as cardboard. He looks down and his jaw nearly hits his chest. "What the f- they made me wear baby blue socks as well???"

Baekhyun giggles. "Yeah, they did. They made you change your clothes the minute you arrived. You were completely out of it, though, so I don't think you remember any of it. Thank God, though, since you most likely would've protested like hell."

"You bet I would've," Jongin states as a matter-of-factly. He suddenly feels like a gigantic weight has been lifted off of his chest when he realizes his throat isn't hurting anymore. "How the hell'd I get here, even?"

"Ah, right," Baekhyun says before biting his lip and averting his gaze. Jongin thinks Baekhyun suddenly looks awfully nervous but he isn't sure. "Are you sure you want to know?"

"Of course I wanna know why the hell I'm lying in bed in this bright-, funny-smelling room wearing nothing but a giant shirt with matching blue socks," Jongin raises his voice a little and instantly regrets it when he's suddenly overtaken by a gigantic coughing fit that lasts for a full minute. Baekhyun waits for it to pass before speaking.

"Okay, , uh, where do I begin," Baekhyun mumbles under his breath before grabbing a chair in the corner of the room and brings it next to Jongin's bed. Taking a seat, he exhales before looking Jongin in the eye. "You uh, you called me at about six-thirty ish and naturally, I answered. I was at a book fair half a block away from your place, thank mothering God, when I got your call. Um, when I picked up I couldn't hear anything so I went and stood outside the library since I initially thought there was something wrong with my service. But when I still didn't hear anything, I knew it wasn't because of that. And well, what can I say; when I suddenly heard this weird thumping sound I called your name since I thought you'd dropped your phone on the floor or something, but when you failed to answer me when I said your name I got hella worried, especially since I knew you'd spent the day with Sehun earlier, no offense or anything," he says before running a hand through his tangled hair.

"What happened afterwards?" Jongin asks, biting down on his lip in both discomfort and curiosity. He has no memory of this whatsoever.

"Well, I walked to your house and knocked and when you didn't answer the door I grew even more worried," Baekhyun says, avoiding Jongin's gaze, "and I don't know why, but I got the gut feeling to enter your house and check on you, don't ask me why I chose to do that; I just did. I knocked a few more times and even rang the doorbell and when you still didn't come to the door, my worry skyrocketed. So after that, I kinda," he stop and rubs the back of his neck, "broke the door down. No, wait, I didn't break it down, you could say I broke the lock by repeatedly ramming my keys into it." He coughs awkwardly and flails his hands around when he sees the horrified expression on Jongin's face. "Hold on, I'll pay for a new lock, don't worry. Do you want to hear the rest of it?"

Jongin nods before pulling the blanket up to his chin. "I'm all ears."

"After I managed to get the door open, I ran inside and nearly tripped over a pair of shoes lying in the hallway. I the hallway light and called your name like two hundred times and when you didn't reply, I figured you weren't home and, well, considering the fact that I'd literally broken your goddamn lock less than ten seconds ago, I sorta panicked. But still, there was this nagging feeling at the back of my head that kept telling me to go upstairs and into your room. And boy," Baekhyun stops and exhales in expasteration, "am I glad I did. Talk about a great seventh sense, huh?"

"What happened then?" Jongin's voice is so quiet Baekhyun can hardly hear him, but he continues anyway.

"You were like," Baekhyun gestures with his hands, "lying on your back like right next to your bed. I mean, at first I didn't see anything when I came upstairs since it was so bloody dark out and all, but then I kind of averted my gaze so I was looking at the floor and holy Jesus, did I get the piss scared out of me," he chuckles dryly, ". At first I had like, no idea what to do and when you didn't move or say anything when I said your name I kind of went over and nearly stepped in a puddle of vomit," he shudders in disgust and squirms in his seat. "When I first saw it, I figured you'd fallen out of bed right after calling me and hit your head in the fall, but then I touched you and knew that you most definitely hadn't."

"Touched me?"

Baekhyun nods. "You were stone cold and so goddamn sweaty, it was both gross and really ing terrifying, believe me. But I realized I had to move you in case you happened to throw up again and accidentally end up choking on it. On a side note, I'm so ing glad you didn't choke on your own vomit the first time. God, that would've been awful. Anyway, after that I knew it was really, really bad so I got out my phone and called 911." Baekhyun suddenly chuckles but there's absolutely no humor in his voice. "I was panicking and breathing so fast I had to repeat myself, like, eleven times before I even got the address right."

Jongin shudders and buries his head under the covers so only the top part of his hair is visible. "God damn."

"I'll say. An ambulance came like two minutes later and I had to excuse myself and stand and wait outside while they...picked you up and carried you out of the house," Baekhyun shivers at the memory of four or so people rushing Jongin's lifeless body out the door on a stretcher. He never, ever wants to experience something similar ever again.

"Were you there?" Jongin asks from under the covers. His voice is so muffled Baekhyun has to lean forward. "Like, in there with me in the...you know..."

"You mean in the ambulance?" Baekhyun asks in astonishment before placing a hand on (what he assumes is) Jongin's shoulder. "Of bloody course, you numbskull, what did you think I did - waited for them to load you into the vehicle before turning around and walking back to the goddamn library?" When Jongin doesn't say anything, Baekhyun lets out a sigh. "Look, of course I did. I was practically a mess in there. I actually think I might've made a lot of the ambulance workers in there stressed as ; I don't blame them. I couldn't help it though, I was freaking out so bad, I couldn't stop. I mean, everything was just so...unexpected, y'know?" He buries his face in his hands. "I'm so ing glad you came out alright though. Jesus, I don't know what I'd do if you...God, nevermind."

The room is plunged into silence for a long, the only audible sound being the rhythmic beeping of Jongin's heart monitor. Apart from that, the room remains silent for a long while until Jongin speaks up. Lifting the covers off of him, he looks at Baekhyun. "How long have you been here? How long have I been here?"

Baekhyun blinks and nearly giggles when he sees the tousled brown mess that is Jongin's hair. "Um, you; or, we got here at around seven and you were in the emergency room for about an hour and a half or so. While you were in there, I waited out here."

"What were you doing?" Jongin asks, rolling over so he's lying on his side.

"Dying of anxiety, of course," Baekhyun deadpans, shooting Jongin a stern yet serious look. "ing hell, dude, at some point when I was sitting there, I genuinely thought you wouldn't make it. I was worried sick, you have no goddamn idea."

Jongin furrows his eyebrows and swallows the lump in his throat. "Really?"

"Yeah! I mean, I lowkey knew you'd be okay, or at least I hoped so, but you never know, and that's scary as hell, honestly," Baekhyun says before letting out another sigh. "But whatever." He reaches across and brushes a strand of hair out of Jongin's face. "Point is, you're here, you're alive and in one piece."

Jongin nods. "True, true." A sense of guilt washes over him and he fights the urge to slap himself. He looks at Baekhyun who looks even more tired than he did fifteen minutes ago - his concealer has oxidized and his dark circles are even more prominent, his hair has become messier and he just looks...miserable overall. Damn it, Jongin thinks, turning his face away. Damn it, damn it, damn it.

"I'll forever thank the lucky stars I was at the library at that moment and not at home, or I don't know what would've happened. God, I don't even wanna think about it." Baekhyun shivers again. "Which brings me to the most obvious question - what the hell happened?"

"Uh, what?"

"Wait, have I spoken too much? Are you tired? Did I exhaust you? , if you want me to leave so you can rest, I will," Baekhyun babbles. "You should probably get some rest-"

"No, wait, it's fine." Jongin sits up. "I'm not tired, just...overwhelmed, that's all. I feel surprisingly good, actually."

Baekhyun raises an eyebrow. He hadn't expected that. "Alright, well." He clasps his hands together in his lap. "If it gets too overwhelming, or if you start feeling tired, let me know and I'll leave you alone, okay?"

"I'm not a 90-year-old man lying on his deathbed," Jongin chuckles, "I'll be fine."

"No, but you did collapse from an anxiety attack that made your heart go all crazy. In fact, they told me your heartbeat's still pretty irregular, but it should improve in a month or two." Baekhyun rolls his eyes and chuckles. "Don't get all sassy with me, Kim Jongin."

If Jongin wasn't lying on a bed covered in what feels like a hundred layers of blankets, he'd walk right up to his best friend and put the latter in a choke hold. "I may be in the hospital but I can still run my mouth." He shoots Baekhyun a smug glare. "Anyway, uh, could you please dim the lights a tad bit? They're burning my eyes."

"It's already pretty dark in here, but alright, sure," Baekhyun nods before standing up and walking over, quickly dimming the lights until the room is plunged into comfortable (semi) darkness. He blinks a few times to get his eyes to adjust. "Good enough?"

Jongin shoots Baekhyun a thumbs up, unsure if the latter can see it or not. "Perfect, thanks."

"No worries." Baekhyun walks back to Jongin's bed and curses loudly when he accidentally trips over his bag. He picks it up and harshly throws it to his left. Leaning in and waving his right hand in front of Jongin's face, he chuckles when the latter recoils. "Okay, good, you can see me."

"Of course I can see you," Jongin breathes, lightly clutching his chest. "Don't scare me like that, you'll give me another heart attack."

"First of all, I wasn't sure since it's so goddamn bloody dark in here," Baekhyun retorts, "and secondly, you didn't-"

"Anxiety attack, heart attack," Jongin mumbles under his breath, "same thing."

"Actually, not re-"

"I'm kidding, Jesus. Anyway, where were we?" Jongin looks down at his feet, at his blue socks. He wiggles his toes and nearly retches. Baby blue does not suit him. At all.

Baekhyun blinks before his face lightens up. "Oh, right, you were gonna tell me." He looks at Jongin with an expectant look. "Y'know, about what happened?"

At first, Jongin's mind is totally blank. No matter how hard he tries to remember, something in his head seems to disconnect. He blames the irritating beeps coming from the heart monitor a few feet away for losing his train of thought. He opens his mouth to speak but quickly closes it again.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, you know," Baekhyun says softly while placing a reassuring hand on Jongin's shoulder, "don't put too much pressure on y-" he doesn't even get to finish his sentence before Jongin's head quickly snaps around to stare him square in the eye, nearly scaring the living daylights of out of Baekhyun, who pulls back like he's been burned. He feels a sense of uneasiness travel down his spine when Jongin continues to stare at him with wide eyes.

"I remember now," Jongin exclaims, slapping a hand on his forehead. "I think."

Hand clutching his heaving chest, Baekhyun raises an eyebrow. "The hell was that - some kind of revenge? I just about pissed myself, Jesus Christ, Jongin."

"That scream of yours," Jongin starts before chuckling and shaking his head in amusement, "so not manly."

"Shut the hell up and tell me what went down."

"I would explain it to you, but I don't have my phone on me," Jongin furrows his eyebrows before looking at Baekhyun, who's busy fanning himself, "did you happen to bring it, by any chance?"

Baekhyun momentarily stops fanning his face and freezes before nodding slowly. "As a matter of fact," he says before reaching into his sweater pocket, "I did. Don't ask why, though. And I'm not sure if it'll be of any use since the screen was still on when I entered your room two hours ago." He pulls out Jongin's iPhone and hands it over without getting up and out of his chair, much to Jongin's disbelief.

Jongin accepts the phone and breathes out an audible sigh of relief when he presses the On button and realizes that it's not, in fact, dead, and actually at 45%. He wastes no time in typing in his passcode before opening up his texts and proceeding to literally shove the phone in front of Baekhyun's face.

"," Baekhyun hisses when the harsh brightness of Jongin's phone screen suddenly hits him square in the face. He leans away and blinks a few times to get his eyes to adjust before reading the words in front of him. Jongin watches him intentely with his lower lip in.

It doesn't take very long, and after less than 30 seconds, Baekhyun leans back on the chair and stares into the distance. "Okay, wow." He blinks slowly, trying to process what he just read. "Damn."

Turning his phone off, Jongin places it next to him and prays to God that it doesn't fall off the bed and onto the floor. When Baekhyun doesn't say anything for a full minute, Jongin clears his throat. "I mean, I don't see what he could've possibly meant by that other than 'I want to break up'!"

"I really hate to say this." With a quiet sigh, Baekhyun reaches out and places a hand on Jongin's arm. "But neither do I."

Jongin blinks and looks at Baekhyun. "Really? You really think so?"

Seemingly at a loss for words, Baekhyun fidgets in his chair. He nods, but it's so subtle Jongin barely catches it. "I mean, normally I'd be annoyed at you for constantly overexaggerating and overthinking as a result of constantly taking his messages, and what he says, out of context," he says, "but this..." he sighs before running both hands across his face and cursing when some of his under-eye concealer sticks to his palms. "This..."

"," Jongin breathes before flopping back down onto the bed and staring up at the white ceiling. Words fail him. But, shockingly enough, he isn't feeling the usual painful weight on his chest like he typically would. He doesn't tell Baekhyun, though.

"Hey," Baekhyun stands up and attempts to get Jongin to look at him, "are you alright?"

Jongin rolls over and onto his his side and nearly jumps out of his skin when he sees the dark (and black-ish) circles under Baekhyun's eyes due to his concealer smearing off. "I'm feeling fine, why do you ask?"

"Nothing, sorry, that was weird," Baekhyun clears his throat before sitting back down. "It's just that you're so...silent." He sighs when Jongin doesn't say anything. "You know, it's okay to cry, it's okay to feel sad, hell, I'd be devastated if I were you. You can cry, you know that. I won't judge you."

"...Baek, I'm not gonna cry," Jongin says in a (suspiciously) neutral tone before rolling over so he's lying on his back again. "It's fine, I'm fine. It's all fine."

Baekhyun's eyebrows furrow as the same uneasiness he'd felt just minutes earlier begins to soak his spine. He stares at Jongin intently. "...what do you mean? Jongin, what the hell do you mean by 'it's fine'?"

"You know what?"

"What?"

"Maybe all it took was a gigantic shock and a near-death situation," Jongin says as a matter-of-factly before wiggling his toes and playing with his fingers.

Baekhyun feels a lump form in his throat as he watches Jongin. "Wait. What the hell do you mean?"

"For me to realize, of course."

"What? Realize what?" Baekhyun's eyebrows are furrowed to an impossible extent as he scans Jongin's face for any hint of emotion. He doesn't find any.  "Jongin, I don't like where this is go-"

"For me to realize I'm over him, of course, what else?" Jongin looks at Baekhyun with an unreadable expression and nearly lets out a yelp of surprise when Baekhyun literally flies up and out of his chair.

"Are you feeling okay? Is there something wrong with your wires? Are they plugged in properly? Do I need to call a nurse? , you do look a little pale, wait, hold on," Baekhyun babbles before turning around and walking towards the door, only for Jongin to grab his arm and pull him back. 

"...what's with you?" Jongin gestures for Baekhyun to sit back down on the chair. "Sit down and calm down."

Baekhyun obliges before eyeing Jongin with a wary look. "I told you, it's okay to cry, it's okay to feel angry, and it's okay to feel upset, I know how you must be feeling right now and I feel awful, I really do." He lets out a loud sigh before continuing, making sure to avoid Jongin's gaze. "But I think it's best that we sit down and think about and discuss this rationally before jumping to conclusions. I mean, we all have different ways of expressing shock, however-"

"Shock? What are you talking about?" Jongin stares at Baekhyun. "You agreed with what I said; you know, that he wants to break up and all, so what's up with...this?"

"Are you seriously just gonna act like you don't give a about him anymore and that he means nothing to you all of a sudden?" Baekhyun exclaims, doing his best to keep his voice down incase a nurse or a doctor happens to walk past the door. "I mean, I guess I do agree with you that that's what he meant, yeah, kinda; but, are you forgetting about the fact that you literally almost died less than two goddamn hours ago because you went into shock after reading his message?" He runs a hand through his matted hair when Jongin remains silent. "This isn't even about Sehun anymore, this is about you - I know exactly how you've been feeling and acting for the past couple of weeks, don't de-"

"You just said it, you know how ty I've been feeling because of him for the past month or so," Jongin says quietly, voice almost a whisper, "so shouldn't you be happy for the fact that I'm over him? Since you want the best for me? Why would you want me to go through all that pain? Do you want me to feel the way I did then? You even slapped me silly because of it."

"Please don't bring that up." Baekhyun runs a hand across his face. He's feeling the urge to vomit for unknown reasons and he quickly stands up before he can stop himself. "Okay. Okay. Listen, did they give you any painkillers?"

Jongin blinks at the subject change. "Uh. No, I don't think so. Not sure, though. Why?"

Baekhyun quickly zips his sweater before bending down and grabbing his backpack and slinging it over his shoulder. "Because," he says in a hurried tone, "nevermind. Look, I don't know what's going on right now, but I really want you to rest, okay? I'm sorry for talking so much and making you stressed and everything, I shouldn't have woken you up from the start. We can and will discuss this thoroughly tomorrow, when your head's a little more clear than it is right now, alright? Not to mention visiting hours are over anyway. Give me a call if you need to." He sends Jongin a small nod (while still refusing to look the latter in the eyes) before practically sprinting towards the door. Jongin doesn't say a word when Baekhyun pulls it open and steps out into the hallway, nearly colliding with a nurse.

Attempting to make his way down the hallway and to the exit, Baekhyun curses when his shaking legs fail to support him and he collapses onto the nearest chair after taking three steps. His bag falls and hits the floor with a dull thud before he suddenly feels like he's been doused in ice cold water. Head spinning a thousand miles per second, he heaves a gigantic sigh of expasteration before burying his entire face in his hands.

❧