The next day, Wonshik went to the gym early in the morning. Even though he was tired from not getting any sleep last night he needed a distraction. He was tired of over thinking things, tired of pacing back and forth in his small room while thinking of things to say to Taekwoon. He really wanted to apologize but he can’t find the right words to say. He wanted everything to be normal again but at the same time he didn’t want them to return back to the way it was. He didn’t want to be just friends anymore. So he decided to give himself some space and to give Taekwoon some time to think.

But the gym wasn’t enough to take his mind off things. After an hour, he decided that it was just a waste of time so he immediately went to the bathroom and cleaned himself up. On his way out of the building, he saw Hakyeon sitting at the reception area. The older man seemed to be deep in thought. He didn’t even hear Wonshik calling out to him. “Hello? Hakyeon hyung?” Wonshik waved his hand in front of the older man’s face to get his attention. Hakyeon jolted in surprise. “Oh Wonshik! You’re so early today. Why… What’s that on your face? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA” Hakyeon laughed pointing at the other man’s face when he saw two big dark circles around Wonshik’s eyes. “Yah! hyung! You have big eye bags too you know. You look like you haven’t slept at all.” Wonshik exclaimed in defense. “oh.. haha.. sorry… My thoughts kept me up all night. Haha.” Hakyeon said awkwardly, rubbing the back of his head with his other hand. “What were you..” Wonshik started. “Oh! Look at the time. I have to go home. I need to uhm… I just have to go home now. Sorry Wonshik. See you on Monday.” Hakyeon said and hurriedly bid goodbye. Wonshik wanted to ask what kept the older male awake the whole night but Hakyeon immediately waved it off, not wanting to talk about it. It was odd, Wonshik thought. He’s hyung was obviously keeping something from him. His hyung was never good at lying after all.

Indeed, Hakyeon was acting strange the whole day. He was restless and anxious. His mind kept wondering to the scenes that happened last night.

After the party, his brother, Hongbin, gave him a ride home. Hakyeon sat on the passenger seat chattering like crazy, like the usual, while Hongbin just nodded and laughed sometimes, trying to focus on his driving. Aside from his usual stories, there was something bothering Hakyeon. His younger brother acted strange at the party, but not the bad kind of strange though. So, like the prying and caring mother he was, he decided to ask Hongbin. When the traffic lights turned red, “Hongbin.” Hakyeon called out to get the attention of his brother. Hongbin just hummed in response. When he finally got the attention he wanted, Hakyeon asked out of the blue, “Do you like Taekwoon?”. “WHAT?! What made you think of that?” Hongbin exclaimed, suddenly taken aback by the random question. “Well… you were acting strange at the party. Your eyes were always focusing on Taekwoon. Hmmm.. You even tried making lame jokes just to make him laugh. It was the first time I’ve seen you acting like that. Hahaha. You were so desperate that you even used my old jokes. Hahahaha.” Hakyeon said while laughing from remembering his brother’s most embarrassing moment. Hongbin turned silent. He didn’t know how to answer the sudden question. He didn’t know what to say. So he just continued driving when the lights turned green. The car was filled with an uncomfortable silence, the two males didn’t even say a single word after their awkward conversation.

When they finally reached Hakyeon’s apartment, the older man turned around to face his younger brother. “Hey. Want to have some coffee first before you leave?” Hakyeon asked. He wanted to talk to Hongbin. His brother’s reaction a while back really bothered him. Hongbin just nodded in agreement. “Great! We’ll have a nice family bonding time. It’s been a while.” Hakyeon exclaimed in relief.  

At the apartment, Hongbin sat comfortably on the sofa, a cup of steaming hot coffee on his hand. Hakyeon sat on the opposite side, staring at his brother. “Hyung. Stop staring please. Just ask whatever question you wanted to ask.” Hongbin whined when Hakyeon’s staring got irritatingly intense. “Okay! Then I’ll start with the same question. Hongbin, my cute little brother, do you like Taekwoonie?” Hakyeon teased, but there was seriousness evident from his tone. Hongbin didn’t know how to answer the question so he decided to start his story from the very beginning. “Hmmm.. Do you remember the first month I got hired in my present company?” Hongbin asked in return. “Of course I do! You were always ranting when you got home. You had a big grumpy frown on your face every night. You always complained that the people on your company didn’t trust you because you were too young. You look like an angry grandma that’s why everyone was scared of you.” Hakyeon answered in detail. “Yah! That’s too mean hyung…” Hongbin exclaimed and heaved a sigh in defeat. “Anyway,..” Hongbin continued, eyes staring down at his coffee. “One day, I just got so pissed that I even thought of quitting. I went to a nearby park to write my resignation letter. I sat on the park bench beside a young man who was quietly drawing on his sketchpad. It was the first time I met Taekwoon. We’ve seen each other before at the company though. He was the kid who got rejected. He looked kinda lonely sitting all by himself, I didn’t know how to comfort him so I just sat in silence. He was drawing so earnestly that it got me distracted. I was trying hard to start off with my letter, but I kept on glancing at him.” Hongbin paused for a while and looked at Hakyeon. The older man just hummed and urged him to continue.

“I was suddenly surprised when we met eye to eye. He had the most captivating eyes, his skin was flawlessly white, his long black hair was tied neatly in a small black ponytail, a few strands were dancing with the wind. He was really beautiful, out of this world beautiful! “Hyung. I got rejected for the third time today.” He said still looking at me with those piercing eyes. I didn’t know how to respond so I just stared. His next reaction took me by surprise. He smiled at me and said. “But I just have to try again. Right Hyung?” His soft voice was so enchanting. My face was heating up at the moment. I just nodded at him in response. To change the topic, I asked him what he was drawing. He showed me his sketch pad. It was a drawing of a small coffee cup. I laughed so hard after seeing that. I expected more since I saw him drawing so intently. It felt like it was the first time I laughed so genuinely after a long time. “You finally laughed hyung. You should laugh more often.” He said. His smile was so sincere, it was so breathe taking. I can’t help but to smile back. Before we bid goodbye, he said to me the words I needed to hear the most. I clearly remember him telling me “Don’t give up hyung. I’m sure they will acknowledge you someday. You’re very hard working. I see you often at your desk, racking your brains around piles of paperwork. Just hang in there.  I won’t give up as well. So let’s continue to work even harder. Fighting hyung!” His words kept on repeating on my head even after he left. I can still hear his soft voice ringing in my ear. I crumpled the paper that I was holding, throwing away what was supposed to be my resignation letter.” Hongbin paused again, a soft sweet smile on his face. Hakyeon just stared at his brother caringly; he was almost tearing up from hearing such a beautiful story. It was the first time his brother talked about something with so much emotion. He could almost feel it just by hearing Hongbin’s words. Hakyeon just sat there silently, waiting for Hongbin to continue.

“He came to the office week after week. His work got rejected every time. I forgot when I even started buying an extra cup of coffee hoping to give it to him when he comes by. He was so stubborn hyung! He didn’t give up after all the rejections he received. Even though it was evident that he wasn’t getting any sleep, he came back each day with an even brighter smile. It was amazing. Each time I hear the door open, I always searched for him. His smile was so infectious, I didn’t notice that I was already smiling more often and because of that I started making friends with my other colleagues. One day he came to me excitedly. His work finally got accepted. He was smiling so brightly that it was almost blinding. That day, I decided that I would protect his smile.” Hongbin ended his story. He was now smiling softly at his older brother.

“You see Hakyeon hyung, if it wasn’t for Taekwoon I would have already given up on my dreams. His courage and perseverance never wavered. It gave me the courage to pull through. Hmm.. so I guess,.. to answer your question hyung. I don’t think I like Taekwoon. I’m in love with him.” Hongbin said, staring directly at Hakyeon’s eyes, giving more emphasis on his last line. Hakyeon smiled at Hongbin’s answer. It made Hakyeon happy that Hongbin was being honest but he pitied him because he knew that this will not end well for his brother. He wanted to warn him. “But Hongbin.”  Hakyeon said in a sympathetic voice. He didn’t know how to continue but he was surprised when he saw his brother smiling sadly at him. “I know hyung. It’s okay. Taekwoon is already in love with someone else right? Don’t worry hyung.” Hongbin said still smiling but Hakyeon can feel the sadness and desperation in between Hongbin’s words.  Hakyeon sat closer to his brother but was afraid to reach out to him.

“Even if I just have a supporting role in Taekwoon’s life, I don’t care. Even if I’m just the friend #1 in Taekwoon’s story, I’m okay with it. As long as I can see him smiling brightly, even if someone else is the reason for his happiness. I just want him to be really happy because he deserves it. I don’t care if I get tossed aside. I know I sound pathetic but that’s okay with me too. Because I just really really love him hyung. I’m in love with Taekwoon.“ That night, the younger male broke down in tears. Hakyeon cried with him.