“Hyung! This is my best friend Kim Wonshik. He invited me here to the party. He’s one of the best architects here.” Taekwoon said proudly. “Hahaha! I’m not that great but thanks Taek!” Wonshik said slightly happy that his best friend was proud of him but still irritated at the sight of the other man. “Wonshik, this is Hongbin hyung. He’s my editor. The one I’ve told you about.” Taekwoon added. “Hahaha.. You seem older based from his stories. He never mentioned anything personal though just that you’re a good editor. No need to worry. Nice to finally meet you hyung.” Wonshik butted in, forcing a smile on his face, bowing slightly at Hongbin. Taekwoon was surprised by Wonshik’s comment but decided to ignore it.

“So who invited you here hyung? I meant, I don’t think I have seen you here before.” Wonshik questioned, trying to sound polite. Luckily, the two males didn’t notice the hostility in his tone. “My older brother invited me here. There he is!” Hongbin answered while waving back to someone from the other side of the room. “There you are Hongbin! I thought you left! I was about to send you a hate mail you know. Oh Wonshik and Woonie!” Hakyeon exclaimed, surprised to see his brother together with his friends.  “Hakyeon hyung? He’s your brother?” Wonshik turned to Hakyeon. Yeah right! Your little brother is not little anymore but you never mentioned that he is a freaking prince! For goodness sake hyung get your facts straight. Why did you betray me hyung?! Why?! I’ve trusted you! Wonshik thought, mentally scolding his Hakyeon hyung.

“Everybody this is my brother Hongbin. Hongbin this is everybody! Hahahaha… You’ve finally made friends while I was away. So proud of you.” Hakyeon said, roughly ruffling Hongbin’s hair. “Yah hyung! Stop messing up my hair.” Hongbin whined making Taekwoon chuckle. He had never seen Hongbin whining like a child before. “Actually, I am Taekwoon’s editor so I knew him even before and I just met Wonshik here. By the way, it was nice to meet you too Wonshik”  Hongbin said and smiled at Wonshik. Wonshik wanted to smile back too but he even became more irritated when he noticed that Hongbin even looked prettier with a disheveled hair. He was too irritated that he didn’t notice the frown on his face. He was suddenly snapped out of his thoughts when Taekwoon held his hand and whispered “Shik. You’ve been acting weird. Is there something wrong? Want to talk about it?” Wonshik was surprised by the sudden gesture so he accidentally jerked off his hand from Taekwoon’s hold. “It’s nothing Taek. Don’t worry.” Wonshik muttered apologetically. Taekwoon felt hurt by his best friend’s reaction but pretended that it was okay. He just smiled at Wonshik to assure the other man that there was no harm done.

The four of them proceeded to their table. Wonshik sat beside Hakyeon. Taekwoon was taken aback when Wonshik didn’t want to seat beside him. So he sat between Hakyeon and Hongbin silently. Wonshik was not even giving him a single glance when they were talking. Taekwoon pretended that he didn’t notice not to make things awkward. He continued talking to the other two males, pretending to laugh at the two brothers friendly bickering. Wonshik just sat there, not giving any mind to anyone of them. Hakyeon noticed the blonde male’s odd behavior so he started changing the topic. “Wonshik, you’ve been so quiet. What’s the matter? Are you too nervous for your speech?”  Hakyeon asked. “Speech? What speech?” Taekwoon questioned. Hongbin just stared at him in confusion. It made Wonshik even more annoyed. He didn’t know why but just seeing Hongbin seating beside Taekwoon made him boil up in anger. “It’s nothing. But I’m a little nervous” Wonshik answered, trying to make an excuse for himself. “It’s not nothing Wonshik! Actually, Wonshik is…” Hakyeon said cheerfully but was cut off when they heard Wonshik’s name being called out from the stage. Their boss was calling for him to finally deliver his speech. Everyone stood up in recognition, Taekwoon was still a little confused, Hakyeon whispered to him “Just wait and see Woonie. It’s time for our Wonshikie to shine.”

All eyes were on the blonde man when he was on the stage. This was the moment Wonshik had been waiting for. He wanted to make Taekwoon proud. He wanted to see Taekwoon clapping his hands in awe. He wanted to hear praises from Taekwoon. But at this moment, every hope Wonshik had was shattering to pieces. He didn’t want to make a speech. He was not in the mood. But he has to. He had to do it. He started his speech without any problems, his lines flowed flawlessly, not missing a single word. When he caught a glance of his best friend, he suddenly paused. Hongbin was leaning close to Taekwoon and was whispering to his ear. Hongbin whispered to Taekwoon “You must be proud of your best friend. You were right. He’s a really good architect.” Taekwoon smiled back at the comment, he’s heart was swelling with pride for his best friend.

When Wonshik saw Taekwoon smiling back at Hongbin, he couldn’t take it anymore. He clenched the microphone tightly, almost breaking it. Why am I the only one in love Taek? Why am I the only one in love between the two of us? Wonshik thought over and over as he stared at the crowd before him. Wonshik composed himself and pretended to smile at the crowd. He forced himself to continue with the speech.

After the speech, Wonshik was too angry to notice Taekwoon looking at him so proudly. Taekwoon was grinning from ear to ear, clapping even harder than anyone else, his palms turning red. He was so proud of his best friend. Happy tears were almost falling from his eyes. When Wonshik got off the stage, Taekwoon moved forward to hug his best friend to congratulate him but the blonde male just walked passed him as if not seeing him. Wonshik went to the table behind theirs and shook hands with his boss, Minji gave him a warm hug so Wonshik hugged her in return. The crowd suddenly got noisy, cheering for Minji and Wonshik. “They look so good together.” “Are they a couple?” “But they just met. But Minji is a really beautiful girl, so it’s not possible that Wonshik fell for her at first sight right?”

Taekwoon just stood there, stunned. Hakyeon placed his hand on Taekwoon’s shoulder to console him. Hongbin placed his hand down on Taekwoon’s back and ushered him to sit down. Hakyeon was surprised too by Wonshik’s behavior. He knew that Wonshik wanted Taekwoon to be there at the party just so Taekwoon could see his achievements. He never knew that Wonshik liked Minji. Hakyeon furiously shook his head at the idea. He tried hard to think of possible reasons why Wonshik was acting this way. Ah. My poor Taekwoonie. What are you doing Wonshik?! Aish! Hakyeon thought, irritated by the sudden development. To lighten up the mood, Hakyeon started telling stories about him and Jaehwan. Taekwoon was still silent, but he was trying to join in the conversation. When Hongbin noticed, he started telling lame jokes to make Taekwoon laugh. After how many failed attempts, Taekwoon finally laughed, though it only lasted for a few seconds, it made Hongbin relax. Taekwoon smiled at his hyungs for making an effort to comfort him.

After an hour passed, the guests left one by one. The crowd around Wonshik was now gone. Minji and his father had already left. Taekwoon stood up and bid goodbye to Hakyeon and Hongbin. Hongbin wanted to suggest giving him a ride home, but Hakyeon stopped him. Taekwoon walked towards Wonshik who was now standing alone in a corner with an almost empty glass of wine on his hand. “Congratulations Shik! I’m so proud of you. You were great there on stage.” Taekwoon complimented, trying to sound cheerful. He was really proud but he was a little hurt by the way Wonshik ignored him. “Thanks Taekwoon.” Wonshik answered in a monotone voice. “Do you want to…” Taekwoon started but was immediately cut off by Wonshik. “Why are you still here Taekwoon? You should go home now.” Wonshik butted in nonchalantly. “Oh okay. Uhm. I’ll go now. Congratulations again Wonshik.” Taekwoon said, biting his lip trying hard not to cry in front of his best friend. He wanted to ask Wonshik to come home with him so they can celebrate but he was immediately turned down even before he could make his suggestion. They simply bid farewell. Their usual promises of texting each other when they got home was never made. Wonshik wanted to stop his best friend from leaving, but he was too clouded by anger. So he stood just there, and stared at the back of his best friend as it disappears from his view.

Taekwoon grabbed a cab. When he was finally in his apartment, he went straight to his room and immediately locked it up. He placed his clenched fist on his chest. He felt his heart banging like crazy. He was anxious. His mind betraying him as it kept on replaying all the events that happened that night at the party.

He’d been bottling up his feelings even before when he saw Wonshik talking to Minji at the party and almost forgetting him. He didn’t know the girl but seeing his best friend talking so fondly with her made Taekwoon’s heart swell up in pain. He felt a thousand needles piercing through his heart.  At that moment, he wanted to be selfish. He wanted to pull his best friend to his side. He stood up, when he was now closer to them, he saw the beautiful girl leaning on Wonshik whispering something to his ear. He wanted to move even closer to his best friend but he couldn’t move. His feet were suddenly rooted to the floor; his heart was too heavy to carry. That was when he heard a familiar voice calling for him. He was snapped out of his emotional rollercoaster when he saw Hongbin. Seeing his hyung surprised him but made him a little at ease. But the pain in his chest never went away.  He pretended to act normal and cheerful. When Wonshik came to talk to them he felt better but seeing his best friend’s face while jerking away his hand from his hold made him hurt all over again. Wonshik never did that. He tried to ignore it but he was feeling restless. But what really made him break down was the moment Wonshik walked passed him and went to hug the other girl.

After remembering all those painful moments, Taekwoon couldn’t pretend anymore. He leaned on his bedroom door. His head raised up, staring blankly at the ceiling. “Maybe he pulled away his hand because Minji was there at the party. Maybe he didn’t want to look weird in front of her. He must really like Minji. They were hugging so tightly. Wonshik wanted me to come to the party because he wanted to introduce her huh? They look like a great couple. Minji is so beautiful, young and successful. Wonshik is handsome, kind, smart, dependable. He’s great. He’s perfect. The perfect couple indeed. I should be happy for them right? I should be happy for Wonshik. I should….” Taekwoon said to himself, his lips trembling. He’s eyes suddenly becoming blurry; tears were building up and without even noticing, it started to fall. “I should be happy. This is Wonshik’s first love. She’s so lucky Wonshik-ah. You’re my best friend, I should be happy for you. I should be happy. I should be happy right? I should be… I should be happy.. I should be…“ Taekwoon repeated but failed to continue because more tears were falling. He bent over, trying to stop the tears but it hurt too much to even breathe. He crouched down and covered his mouth to stifle the noise. He tried hard to hold it together. But the pain was too unbearable. He let go and finally screamed.

Loud sobs echoed in his room as he poured out all his feelings into words. “I knew this day would come. I wished I confessed to him before this happened. I’ve always waited for the right moment to confess, but it never came. I got rejected before I even told him my true feelings. I’m so pathetic! Why am I acting like an idiot?! Even if I confessed before, nothing will change. Wonshik finally found someone he could love. I should be happy for him. I’m his best friend after all. So why am I crying?! Why am I crying?! I’m so pathetic! I’m so selfish! I should be happy for Wonshik. I should be happy for them... I should be happy… I… I should be happy for him…” Taekwoon uttered over and over again the same words, trying hard to convince himself that he should be happy for his best friend.