The mood maker, the energetic little tofu, the one who always seemed to be smiling; that’s how everyone saw her, that’s how everyone assumed she was. Although she had the ability to bring her member’s moods up, she could never seem bring up her own. It always seemed to be hurdling down further and further into a hole.

She wanted it to stop so she made it stop.

*

All that’s left are the memories of her. The last smile that ever graced her lips, her infectious laughter looping in her head, all the jokes that they’ve exchanged in the four years they’ve known each other.

She was really gone.

There would be no more tomorrows with her, no more spending time with her. There’d always be an empty seat in the vans, an empty bunk underneath hers. There would be an empty spot in their group, a hole in their hearts.

They all sat there, tears streaming down their faces as they read her final words written down on a piece of paper that Chaeyoung was holding in her trembling hands.

I’m sorry it’s come down to this. Every moment I spent with all of you were the best but I just couldn’t pretend anymore, I couldn’t stand it. I’m sorry for giving up, I’m sorry for never speaking up about this issue, most importantly, I’m sorry for leaving like this.

You were all special to me and deserve everything good in the world. Please be happy.

-Dahyun

How could she have not noticed? They’ve known each other for four years, how did she not see it?

(The mask she wore was too thick to be seen through.)

Sometimes she would sit and stare at the empty bottom bunk (the one that would always remain empty and untouched.). Sometimes she’d wish the door would open and Dahyun would walk in with that silly smile on her face and talk to her just like they always did.

She wished that she had the courage to tell her that she loved her.

Tzuyu noticed Chaeyoung staring at Dahyun’s bed, eyes pooling up with tears. She carefully put her hands over Chaeyoung’s eyes, blocking the view.

“You’re hurting yourself even more by doing this.” Tzuyu quickly wiped away a stray tear with her free hand as she continued using her other as a blindfold for her same aged friend. Using the strongest voice she could muster she continued.

“I know you miss her, we all do.” Soon Tzuyu was as teary as Chaeyoung was a moment ago. “But we have to stay strong for her…live for her.”

The shorter of the two silently sobbed as she basked in the memories they’ve shared. No matter how hard she tried, everything would remind her of Kim Dahyun.

(Oh how she wished Dahyun would just walk into their room like nothing happened, like she was still here.)

Chaeyoung found herself sitting on the floor next to Dahyun’s bed, a picture held tightly in her hand.

“I said that I’d protect you unnie but I couldn’t even do that. I said I’d always be by your side but I wasn’t…god why was I such a fool? Why didn’t I notice?”

Fresh tears rolled down her cheeks as she stared at the picture.

“Yah, how could you leave me all alone like this? You even said we'd be with each other for a long time. I love you, you know that? I love you so god damn much but now I can’t even tell you that…”

She hit the cold mattress weakly (it was as cold as she was when they tried to bring her back.).

“I miss you.”

A ghost of a smile danced upon her lips as her eyes fell upon the picture again. There stood Dahyun, her arms tightly wrapped around Chaeyoung with a bright, shining smile on her face.

A smile that she misses, a smile that they all miss.

“What are you doing Chaeyoung-ah?” Jihyo asked upon entering the room.

“Reminiscing.”

She let out a soft chuckle, her thumb gently over Dahyun’s fa