Kyungsoo’s expression went from confusion to anger, and then to confusion again; his voice was breathless as he spoke hasty words, almost chocking with his own tongue.

“W-What are you trying to tell me?” He stuttered and now was Baekhyun’s time to roll his eyes with desperation as he putted on that mask of his, that mask, mask which could cover his inner fear, his insecurities, mask which could cover those suffocating feelings that were gnawing him from the inside.

Because everything is easier when you pretend that you don’t care, that it doesn’t hurt you. It was easier, but it was like lock yourself in your own perfect lie.

“When I came back from London, I met you in a restaurant and you saw me to come out of the girl’s bathroom.” The tone of his voice came out so neutral of his lips that he almost though he could live in his own deceit. Then he stopped the time enough to let Kyungsoo dumbly node to him before continue “Well, it was because I found a couple making out in the boy’s one. It turned that that girl was Saebyul, also knowns as Chanyeol’s fiancée” he felt a bitter taste in his mouth that were added next to the sweet of hid fake flams, but he ignored it with a hollow grin, as empty as he wanted his heart to be “She recognised me and confirmed she was that girl and assured me that she knew me and she was aware about how I feel about Chanyeol, but that he loves her and it would be lovely if I wouldn’t nose in affairs.” Baekhyun let out a tired sigh, feeling a heavy weight disappear from his shoulders and his chest but also a dull cloud of realisation raining over his head.

He felt able to breathe again, at least easily since he finally confessed everything to his friend, but he also realized how ed up everything was.

Kyungsoo’s mouth was open, jaw down in the floor, as he listened to Baekhyun’s words with astonishment.

“You can’t be serious”. He stuttered and Baekhyun almost cracked up. Oh, I wish I would, darling. He thought with grievous irony.

“I actually am and it , isn’t it?” There was grief and disgust equally parted in his voice “Now I have to watch how Chanyeol gets married with a that is actually cheating on him. My dream coming true, don’t you think so, Soo?”

He laughed but his laugh came out more like a whine, like a sad and painful cry, because what Baekhyun really wanted was to cry, to morn until there wasn’t more tears he could cry, until his voice breaks, until he feel breathless, because it hurt. It hurt and he couldn’t erase that pain in his heart.

“And what the are you doing here auto-pitying you?” Kyungsoo spoke with firm voice that took Baekhyun by surprise, making the latest to look up at him. “What are you waiting for to tell him, you, ?”

Baekhyun frowned but just mumbled “It isn’t that easy, Kyungsoo” before look down to his hands again because he couldn’t find the heart to look up to his friend, because he was a coward, all he was isn’t more than a ing coward who prefers to give up before even trying.

“Oh, c’mon, Baek, don’t even try it with me. You know I won’t let my cousin get married with that now you have told me, and if you’re too chicken to speak out, I’m definably gonna tell him myself if you don’t do it first.”

Determination glowed in Kyungsoo’s dark eyes and Baekhyun knew he was serious, he meant those words. It wasn’t about his feelings towards Chanyeol, it wasn’t about him anymore… he had been so selfish all this time he wanted to punch himself in the face so hard to leave a permanent mark to remember how moron he was. It was about Chanyeol, about his future, about his happiness. And if he didn’t tell him now, he’ll find out sooner or later. There was no point trying to hide it from him, was it?

A hollow grin deformed Baekhyun’s poker face. He was such a ty friend, wasn’t he? Excusing his fear and his poltroonery on his damn feelings when the truth was that he was just running away from the truth, fleeing from what he should have done as a friend.

“I’ll tell him” he said glaring down to his shaking hands after a couple of minutes of perfect silence. “I’ll tell him before the weeding, Kyungsoo, I swear to God I’ll tell him, I want to tell him myself, just… just give me some time” he met Kyungsoo’s eyes and he didn’t know what he saw in his owns, but it seemed enough to convince him.

“Okay” he said in a sight “but if you don’t tell him before it’s too late I’ll tell him everything. Deal?” Baekhyun nodded and Kyungsoo smiled at him, more relieved now. “Now put a smile in that face of yours. You look awful when you cry.”

And Baekhyun didn’t know how he managed to, but he laughed at his friend’s blame joke, a lighter feeling between them now the truths have been exposed.

Down in the kitchen, Jongin and Chanyeol were cleaning the white and red mess of blood and smashed plates of Baekhyun’s accident. Chanyeol was so worried for Baekhyun he couldn’t even focus in anything that wasn’t him, and it was obvious in the deafening silence that surrounded him, silence that Jongin didn’t dare to break.

The youngest noticed Chanyeol’s eyebrows furrowed and the way he nibbled his inner cheek nervously, maybe thinking way too much about something, surely thinking way too much about Baekhyun.

Jongin couldn’t help but leave a tiny smile curve his full lips before throw the smashed glasses into the bin. His friend was so easy to read, he was so obvious that everyone in the room could see how much he cared about the smaller, how much he loved him and how unhappy he would be with that Saebyul he was going to get married with.

But, as always, the only one who couldn’t see it wasn’t anyone but himself. He was the only one unaware of the truth, that he was just lying to himself pretending he was getting married because he wanted to when the truth was he was getting married just because he felt like he owed it to Saebyul, and, even though the truth is always scary, it’s better than a lie that will only bring you unhappiness.

He was so blind and no one but himself could remove that blindfold off of his eyes.

The picture of Kyungsoo was drawn in his mind and a sad grin deformed the previous happy smirk of his lips.

He was the only one who couldn’t see it too.

His heart ached with a bittersweet pinch of wishes, desire and hopeless love. If he could only tell Kyungsoo a paltry part of how madly in love he was with him, if he could only be brave enough, have the guts to confess to him for once…

But he was so afraid of spoil the friendship they had, of his negative, of his heartbroken and how much it’d hurt… He was a coward and he would rather hurt himself with every second he had Kyungsoo so close he could feel his shaky breath against his skin, every time he burned whenever he touched him in any way, every time he met those big dark eyes capable of make his heart skip a beat and lose his breath.

He’d rather have half of Kyungsoo that no have Kyungsoo at all.

But he was also too tired of that, he knew he couldn’t control himself anymore, he has waited all his life, and it was more and more difficult to him to play it cool, to pretend that he was okay with just being friends, because he wasn’t, he truly wasn’t.

He wasn’t okay having Kyungsoo close enough to count every single one of his eyelashes and feel his warm breath against his lips but unable to kiss him, he wasn’t okay having to make up an excuse every time he touched him unintentionally when the truth was that he just wanted to feel his nearness, his sinful skin against his, just an inch was enough, just a little bit was okay.

All he wanted was a little bit, it didn’t matter how paltry that bit would be, because a bit is enough when you’re sure you won’t get more.

He was so hopeless it was almost funny. But maybe it was just funny because of how sad he was. He was hilarious, wasn’t him?

Meanwhile, Chanyeol couldn’t take his thoughts out of Baekhyun’s little figure, his whole body shaking, his injuries bleeding, his lips red after nervous little nibbles, his eyes tired, swollen and glassy because of the tears.

He couldn’t stop thinking about his cold hands, his dark bangs… he couldn’t stop thinking about how fragile he was and how much he wanted to protect him, but he was so far away from him even though when just a couple of inches separated them.

He was broken, and Chanyeol couldn’t help but feel it was all his fault. Maybe it was selfish, thinking someone was so miserable everything was because of him, but the guilt took its place in his stomach and throat before he could even think it wasn’t maybe because of him.

And Chanyeol didn’t know how, but Baekhyun had been again all he could think about for whole minutes. “I’ll wash the dishes henceforth so Baekhyun won’t hurt himself again”, “I hope he’s okay”, “I wonder what are he and Kyungsoo doing now”. And he was maybe tired, tired of all those confusing thoughts that didn’t leave his mind, because who would care so much about a friend who has disappeared from his life when things were hard and came back now he was ready to pass the page and get married?

Anyways, he decided to not overthink, nay, to stop thinking, he didn’t like complicated things and Baekhyun wasn’t anything but complicated.

Yes, it was definitely better to stop thinking, he wasn’t made for big dramas, he liked simple things, easy things, but what he didn’t wanted to admit was that happiness wasn’t easy to reach, is it?

7:24 P.M. The time flied away between bad jokes and stupid argues between the guys about if they should be doing Marvel or DC marathon tonight so fast Jongin almost forgot for how long Kyungsoo and Baekhyun had been upstairs alone, and Jongin couldn’t help but feel jealous of Baekhyun who could spend lots of time with Kyungsoo without have to make up any excuse and he wanted to punch himself because he was acting too childish.

You down own Kyungsoo, you, . He remembered to himself.

“Oh, c’mon, Marvel it’s a million, what am I saying? A billion times better than DC!” Sehun cried out, frowning so hard his eyebrows became one.

“You’re kidding me. Marvel is next to DC; their heroes are such some losers” Minseok fight back, and, oh god, this discussion again no.

“HA! Name me just one Marvel hero who is a loser, I’ll wait, darling” Sehun crossed his arms across his chest, with a glow of self-sufficiency in his eyes. Jongdae was already there, next to Minseok and ready to take part in the conversation meanwhile Junmyeon and Yixing were discussing next to the phone what pizzas should they order since they won the rock, paper, scissors game.

A mischievous grin crossed Minseok’s face as he spited out “Spiderman” watching sardonically Sehun’s features warp as he faked a heart attack.

“Don’t dare to call Superman a loser when you’re a fan of Batman” and now was Minseok’s time to pretend he was going to throw up at the words of the youngest.

“At least Batman isn't a insect”.

“At least Sperman has actual superpowers and isn’t just a rich random guy who wants to play the hero!”

“Oh, excuse me there, what superpowers? Those threads of his are as dangerous as a pink butterfly”.

“They are cobwebs and they are better than nothing, you're just jealous that DC and you can't even deny it!”

The looked at each other right in the eye and Jongin thanked to the highness stares couldn’t kill, because he could watch actual sparks popping out of the stare they shared for prolongated minutes until Sehun’s eyes met Jongdae’s, realising his presence for the first time since he started to argue with Minseok.

“Jongdae! My beloved friend, my best mate, the Kirk of my Spock, the Watson of my Sherlock, the fried of my chicken. You’re a clever guy, I know it. Can you explain to our hyung, Minseok how amazing Marvel is and how much DC ?” he said batting his eyelashes and Jongdae rolled his eyes, letting out an exasperated sigh.

“Oh, shut up, you little , I don’t wanna take part of your couple arguments, besides the half of your references are gayer than me so try to think about better ones” the black haired said, earning a judgemental look from the other two, now in death silence, their discussion now forgotten as they eyed Jongdae significantly “Not that I’m gay, y’know, no homo…” the other two keep silence and a madden snort leaved Jongdae’s lips “I’m done with you two, you haven’t even sense of humour”. And then he leaved like a diva. Maybe Jongin would kept listening to their arguing, but something catched his attention.

He watched Kyungsoo coming downstairs with a little smile curving his heart-shaped lips that he loved so much, getting lose on the way his eyes drawled caressing his soft features. He didn’t notice the obviously way he gulped when his big owl eyes met his, making his Adam apple going up and down, trying to ignore the lump in his dry throat, and his heart flutter when the smallest approached to him, his little smirk wider and wider as he was closer and closer, not enough to show his teeth though but more than enough to bright up every day of Jongin’s existence.

“Hey” he muttered and his smile infected Jongin maybe too easy and too woeful, but he couldn’t care less at that moment.

“Hey” his voice sounded huskier than usual, shakier than usual, and Kyungsoo noticed it, he knew it, who wouldn’t? and, it, how old was he? 13? He was an adult, why the was he acting like a damn schoolgirl?

PutyourselftogetherPutyourselftogetherPutyourselftogetherPutyourselftogetherPutyourselftogetherPutyourselftogether.

Kyungsoo’s eyes glued on Sehun and Minseok, who were back to their “Marvel vs. DC war” and Jongin forgot how to breathe as he watched how he frowned his eyebrows cutely before look back at him again.

“What are they even arguing about?” he asked, too easily Jongin couldn’t help but wonder how such some casual words could sounds so angelically perfect on someone’s lips.

It took to the youngest a couple of seconds to absorb Kyungsoo’s question and articulate a properly answer.

“They’re discussing about who is best; DC or Marvel for tonight’s marathon. We’re doing a film marathon tonight with pizza and beers and let’s just pray the won’t kill each other before decide what are we watching”. Kyungsoo shook his head, not even surprised and a yearning smile was drawn on his lips.

“How old are they? Eight?” he said, or, at least, that was all Jongin could heard, too lose in the way his eyes glowed with the old bright of memories.

He was so beautiful without even trying that he wondered how could a human being be so perfect.

“Anyways” the black haired snapped him out of his thoughts and glared at him, now without that sad glow in his eyes “which team do you think will win?”

“Marvel, obviously. Their heroes are the best ones. Marvel will never lose against DC.”

“Oh, really? I think DC is actually cooler” and, do you know when you feel like you should better shut the up and stop messing up things? Do you know when you want the earth to swallow you? Do you know when you just say your crush’s favourite comics are ?

Well, that feeling must have deformed Jongin’s features that much it made Kyungsoo crack up and the younger was so busy wishing he could die right now and there that he didn’t realised Kyungsoo was laughing at him.

“I’m joking, you, fool” he said in between his laughter and damn it, it was the most beautiful sound Jongin has ever heard, so, he actually wanted to record it and play it on repeat before sleep every single night “I’m The X Men trash.” He added with a smile, and Jongin would have agree because he loved The X Men too and he wouldn’t mind to watch a marathon with him one of those days, but he was interrupted by Chanyeol, who came into the lounge holding lots of films between his long arms.

Everybody quietened as Sehun and Minseok’s shadows rushed towards Chanyeol and started another competition to see who could talk louder.

“Hey, chill out you two, I can’t understand you if you’re yelling at me at the same time”.

“Who’s better, Marvel or DC?” they said at the same time and Jongin wondered how could they be so in sync when they were about to kill each other a few seconds ago.

Chanyeol gave them a critical look, eyes going from one to the other, everybody now in dead silence, even Yixing and Junmyeon, who already ordered the pizzas, everyone’s eyes on him, because he had the last word in this discussion since it was his stag-party.

A mischievous smirk curved Chanyeol’s lips, apparently amused by how tense this situation was and how powerful he was at that moment.

“ you, we’re watching a Harry Potter marathon” Minseok and Sehun groaned, not wanting to believe Chanyeol’s words, and Jongin wanted to laugh so hard, because it was so typical on him that he didn’t know how we didn’t see it coming. He will always be a little kid who doesn’t like to complicate and loves children films after all.

“Chanyeol-ah” the youngest whined “It’s a film for children”.

“First of all, I am you hyung, so respect me, and, secondly, since it’s a film for children, it’s perfect for you” he fired back and Minseok burst into laughter, earning a death look from Sehun, who mumbled something that sounded like “this is why I don’t respect you”.

Minseok wiped a fake tear from the corner of his eye after Sehun punched his shoulder with annoyance.

“That was a good one, man” he said once he recovered his breath “but are we watching Harry Potter for real?” Chanyeol glared at them with hurt eyes, pretending to be about to cry.

“WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS? Harry Potter is amazing, it’s a saga about friendship, magic, it has epic battles, funny scenes, love, mystery... It’s just perfect.” Chanyeol cried out with desperation, wondering how his friends couldn’t see how masterly Harry Potter was, and he had a lot to say about why Harry Potter was actually the best saga ever made, but something, more exactly like someone, caught his attention.

It was Baekhyun who was at the end of the stairs, wet bangs stuck on his forehead, moist skin glowing under the lounge’s artificial light, dressed in an oversized T-shirt which showed his right collarbone and waterdrops rolling down his exposed neck from his hair.

Chanyeol was stunned by the way his T-shirt was sticking to some parts of his still wet chest, and how sinfully the T-shirt’s collar was hanging from his shoulder, almost exposing its skin. He gulped, mouth doughy all of sudden.

“Sorry I’m late” he said with crystal voice and a little flush tinting his cheeks of pink.

His stomach made weird things and he thought he was maybe hungry.

“Don’t worry, we just ordered the pizzas and chose what are we watching tonight.” Junmyeon said with a sweet smile and Baekhyun nodded shyly as he played with the end of his sleeves.

“We are watching Harry Potter. Thank our big baby Chanyeol” said Sehun, still pissed and maybe Chanyeol would have deny that fact or say something, but now Baekhyun’s eyes were on his owns, making something in his chest flutter with a warm feeling and his heart beat faster, and maybe he would ask himself the reason why, but Baekhyun smiled and he couldn’t help but wonder how could someone look so sad with a smile on their face.

The pizzas arrived, and they had cans of beer and soda all over the place and the lights turned off. Everybody was sitting on the couches, Baekhyun next to Kyungsoo, Kyungsoo next to Jongin, and Chanyeol next to Junmyeon and Sehun, except for Yixing, who, for some reason, ended up half sitting half laying on the floor with a huge slice of pizza bigger than himself on his lap.

They started the marathon and there were no more complains because they couldn’t say they didn’t enjoy Chanyeol’s film choice, everyone loves Harry Potter, and maybe Chanyeol would have pointed that out, but there was something in the way the telly’s glow drawn sharp shadows in Baekhyun’s features that enthralled Chanyeol to the point of not even pay attention to his favourites films and appreciate Baekhyun’s features slightly deformed but still beautiful.

He was so spellbound by the picture of sleeping Baekhyun, parted lips and head resting against the couch, that he didn’t noticed how fast the time had passed and how everyone and not just Baekhyun had fell asleep by 4am. He smiled a bit, because Baekhyun moved in his sleep and he ended up with his head looking down, and would hurt his neck in that position, so he reached for Baekhyun and gently shook his knee with his foot, making him to move again and go back to his initial position before turn off the TV.

Chanyeol smiled wider and felt sleepy all of sudden, noticing the way that the now dry Baekhyun’s bangs covered his eyes.

What Chanyeol didn’t noticed was the way that Kyungsoo smiled at him after have watched the entire scene in his last moments of consciousness and before fall asleep, head resting on Jongin’s shoulder.

*runs away before someone kills her*

Now for real, I'm so sorry, I didn't expected it would take me an  e n t i r e  month to finish this chapter, but I have started classes again and I haven't been too inspired latelly. You can hate me.

Anyways, y'all were asking for a break of all the angst so, hope you liked it?

I'll really try that the next chapter won't take me so long, I know how it feels when authors take too long to upload a fic. And remember that english isn't my first language, so I apologize for the grammar mistakes I may have made.
 

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Thanks so much for reading <3