Six
What if...?Saebyul left just after lunch (surely to make sure she didn’t have to help washing the dishes. This …) And Baekhyun couldn’t lie, he felt thousands of times better once he saw her disappearing from that house and his sight, as if someone would have removed from his shoulders and stomach a heavy and disgusting weight.
He was sick of have to watch those lovebirds almost making out every time and he almost threw up when the moment of their "goodbye" came. He didn't understand why the they had to kiss for so long and be so bloody noisy. They wouldn’t die spending two days without each other.
Love is disgusting. Baekhyun thought, feeling a lump of bile resting on his throat getting in the way when he tried to gulp and an awful negative tingle prickle his spine.
He hated that, he hated have to watch those two being so close and showing their "mutual love" to every ing body, and he hated to feel so damn affected for whatever the couple did.
Why couldn’t him het over them?
Saebyul disappeared after give a hug to everybody and kiss Chanyeol way too passionate for that situation. Hadn’t they any shame?
“Jesus holy Christ, hey lovebirds, get a room, for my eye’s shake! Leave something for the honeymoon, my lord” Jongdae joked (practically screaming) covering his eyes with his hands and everybody laughed. Baekhyun didn’t find the heart to laugh with them; instead, he just stared at the floor feeling more sad than angry. Chanyeol pulled out kind of embarrassed but the woman had a huge bright smile curving her lips, not even pretending being shy at the comment of the black haired, when she looked at Baekhyun.
I swear I will wipe out that grin of yours if you don’t do it by yourself, . Baekhyun started to feel kind of afraid of his own thoughts, but he didn’t mind as long as he could watch that disappear from his sight soon.
“Don’t complain! I won’t see my big-sweet-bear in two entire days unlike you” Saebyul pouted and Baekhyun sword he would throw up if he had to keep listening this kind of bull.
Shut the up, I bet you won’t be exactly lonely this time.
He was swearing too much and already had red marks in his palms. He didn’t notice his hands were closed on tight fits until his nails against his skin hurt.
Thank God she left after that awful scene.
Baekhyun offered himself to wash the dishes (again), almost begging Kyungsoo on his knees when the boys said they had to clean up before buy some food, drinks and some special things for Chanyeol’s stag-party.
Kyungsoo gave his friend a concerned look, aware of his feelings towards his cousin and the bad time the older was going through because of that. Only Baekhyun could know his own heart’s hollow at the idea of watching the person he’s in love with getting married with some else. Not even the younger knew the sadness hosted inside his friend’s chest, whom felt himself dying at the thought of Jongin getting married with some pretty girl.
Kyungsoo couldn’t refuse to the twenty-four years old’s petition, knowing the jealousy was gnawing him from the inside and he couldn’t force him more than he already did making him to attend to his cousin weeding when it was obvious his friend would just get hurt.
The twenty three years old sighed. Deeply. What Baekhyun needed now was some pace and time by himself; so Kyungsoo agreed with him and left him do whatever he wanted, just for this time. That was all he could do for him right now.
Everybody was occupied before they could even think about rest. Joonmyeon tided up the bedrooms upstairs before go to get some films from a video club nearby, Yixing stayed in the lounge with Chanyeol, playing videogames and keeping him amused, totally unware of his friend’s plans.
Jongin and Kyungsoo went to a party store, being in charge of Chayeol’s presents and anything stag-party related, and Jongdae, Minseok and Sehun went to buy some food and drinks in a nearby grocery store while Baekhyun washed the dishes. Kyungsoo knew it was a huge mistake to let those three go by themselves, that wasn’t anything but problematic.
He just hoped they would also buy some food instead of just alcohol.
Kyungsoo sighed again. They were hopeless.
“We’re leaving, now” announced Jongin opening the door, catching Chanyeo’s attention, who paused his fifa football match and glared at his friends with a blank look blurring in his coffee eyes.
“‘kay”. Mumbled Chanyeol in response, resuming the game without add anything else.
“Don’t break anything!” mocked Sehun with a try of a carefree smile that faded away after perceiving his friend’s unusual coldness. He usually would be pretending be upset with everyone, since they all were leaving him alone, and joking around, but this time he even asked where the hell was everybody going. Instead, he kept his glace glued on the TV screen.
Kyungsoo gave his cousin a worried look and then he looked up to Jongin finding a sad glow on his eyes too, almost wanting him to do something, anything that could comfort the tallest man, but, instead, the brown haired shook his head with hopeless eyes and pushed him gently to the outside, asking him to give up, to stop concerning, telling him they would make up eventually. But Kyungsoo couldn’t help but worry about that empty shell his cousin had turned into.
Baekhyun tried his best to put his together and calm the down. He swears he really tried to, but it was too difficult since the picture of that stupid Yoda and that of his fiancée kissing, messing around, touching each other and being intimate didn’t leave his thoughts and it was…. It just... was too much for Baekhyun.
The raven haired didn't notice how tight his hands were closed around the dishes as he washed the plates, how his entire body was trembling and his anger didn't anything that increase and increase as pictures of the couple sharing passionate kisses just in front of his eyes re-played inside his head as it were a movie, a very disgusting one.
That daughter of a approaching Chanyeol, playing with his T-shirt and cutting the distance between them, leaning on as she started a moist (and annoyingly loud) kiss.
The nasty words of "I love you" coming out of the woman’s thin lips when they finally pulled back echoed in his ears in the perfect silent of the kitchen, broke with the cold sound of glass against floor, sound that Baekhyun mistook with the sound of his heart, breaking, spiting in two, falling apart, again, and leaving behind it a heavier silence than the former one.
Baekhyun’s inside was habited by a loud silence too, filed with worry and confusion, but, above all, unbearable pain.
He felt a hole in the place his heart should be, he felt emptiness running through his veins and a hundred of knifes stabbing his stomach at the same time.
It hurt.
He hurt.
Salty warm tears flooded Baekhyun's view as he felt something throttling his throat, leaving him breathless as he stared at his feet. Stains of red and white were everything he could see. It hurt. His chest hurt, his eyes, cloudy for the tears, hurt, his body, numbed for the ache resting on his heart, hurt too.
Baekhyun hurt and he couldn’t do anything about it.
“Baekhyun!” A familiar voice called out his name and he couldn’t help but look up to what wasn’t more than a tall foggy burl, burl which turned into Chanyeol’s terrified eyes standing up at the kitchen’s door frame as warm tears started to roll down his cheeks.
The younger’s eyes went from Baekhyun’s ones to the floor, pausing in his hands before going up again to his eyes. Baekhyun’s heart ached.
Go away.
Chanyeol glared at him and parted his lips, but after before Baekhyun could notice it, he closed his mouth immediately, stopping himself from saying anything.
Baekhyun wanted to stop himself from crying, but he couldn’t, he couldn’t help but cry. He cried because he couldn’t stand it anymore, he couldn’t bear with the knowledge of Chanyeol being with someone else, kissing someone else, sleeping with someone else, and getting married with someone else.
Someone else who wasn’t him, someone who he knew she wasn’t good enough, but still, made Chanyeol happy.
Stop looking at me.
Chanyeol’s eyes in his owns felt so bad but so good at the same time… Baekhyun didn’t want to Chanyeol watch him in this state though, he didn’t want to him to watch him like this; he didn’t want Chanyeol to watch him like a cry-baby and a heart broken. He wanted to run away and hide into a dark corner and never ever come back to this place hide from this pain who was torturing him.
Go away.
But, instead, Chanyeol stepped forward and gabbed Baekhyun’s arms with soft touch, holding them between his owns.
Stop acting nice. Stop confusing me.
He didn’t noticed he was shaking until he felt Chanyeol’s tight but gentle grip so immovable against his jelly body.
I want to hate you.
Baekhyun’s arms were burning in the places their skins touched; it was as if Chanyeol’s bare touches could set him on fire.
I want to hate you since you said you couldn’t hate me.
But it was maybe because he had broken glasses all over his hands and arms. It hurt, a ing lot, but it didn’t hurt as much as his heart did.
I want to hate you since I can’t stand loving you anymore.
Chanyeol started to clean his wounds, throwing the little fragments of glass at their feet in perfect silent.
Stop.
Chanyeol never looked up at Baekhyun, but Chanyeol’s concentrate expression was all Baekhyun could look at. His soft fingers caressing his skin felt so god, Chanyeol’s fresh scent of air, wet grass and freedom felt so well, Chanyeol’s nearness felt so bloody fine… But the silent between them felt so empty, so big, so wrong… but unavoidable after all.
Everything Chanyeol did, anything he did, it was too much. Too god to be god, too bad that was all Baekhyun needed.
Stop.
Chanyeol left the room and came back with bandages and ethyl alcohol two minutes after, starting to clean Baekhyun’s injuries with soft cares, making sure to not hurt the smaller even more.
Please, stop.
Baekhyun couldn’t help but flinch with every time Chanyeol moistened his injuries with alcohol; miserably failing on his try to not let out of his throat those muffled little whines of his.
Stop making everything even more difficult.
Baekhyun stared at Chanyeol, but the younger never met his glance, and Baekhyun didn’t know what was worst, his inexpressive face and the chill silence between them or his racing heart which beat faster and faster with every touch of the taller, so loud that Baekhyun feared he would hear it.
Don’t you see you aren’t doing anything but hurt me?
Chanyeol started to bind up Baekhyun’s arms with care, putting down his long sleeves to hide the bandages once he finished. Then, and for the first time since he entered into the kitchen, Chanyeol looked straight into Baekhyun’s dark eyes with such intensity that Baekhyun thought he could see through him.
Baekhyun gulped, sweating all of sudden.
Don’t you see you’re not doing anything but giving false hopes?
“Yah, clumsy idiot” Chanyeol muttered lowing his glance to the elder’s arms. “Watch out next time”.
Chanyeol tried his best to stop the shaking and the nervousness of his voice, blaming on the shock.
Baekhyun couldn’t say anything as Chanyeol loosed his grip and looked back at him. There was worry? in his eyes, almost concern? But Baekhyun knew that was impossible, he must be hallucinating.
Chanyeol couldn’t be worry about him, it was impossible after all he did to him, it was impossible after all Baekhyun made him go through.
More silence preceded his words. Baekhyun, too busy trying to play it cool, as if he didn’t care at all about anything that concerned Chanyeol. He didn’t say a word and glared at his new and imperfect bandages under his sleeves, avoiding the other’s eyes.
He knew he was strong as long as he didn’t look into those large and dark eyes of him.
“Y’now” Chanyeol broke the awkward silent between them. Baekhyun didn’t know if he was feeling relieved or more nervous after hearing his husky voice again “All this awkwardness between us…” Baekhyun looked up and met his shy eyes, his pink cheeks, his messy black hair and his large ears.
Baekhyun’s heart skipped a beat. There, right in front of his eyes, was Chanyeol. Not the 23 years old Chanyeol who was getting married within a week with an insane , no the grownup Chanyeol who Baekhyun left behind and now couldn’t help but feel uncomfortable with. Right there, right in front of his eyes there was his Chanyeol.
The Chanyeol he missed all this time, the Chanyeol who left him sleep in his bed when his father beat him in his nightmares, the Chanyeol he felt in love with.
The Chanyeol he’s still in love with.
“It’s just not cool, Baek” Baekhyun’s heart skipped another beat, he couldn’t help it. He fell so deep he’s afraid “I just don’t want to spend four days feeling like this”.
Baekhyun watched Chanyeol glaring down to his hand and playing with the end of his T-shirt nervously. He felt his legs shaking as jelly and his voice dying inside his throat before he could excuse himself and ran away.
“I forgive you, I really do. The question is; can you forgive me?”
The soft touch of artificial feathers caressed Kyungsoo’s fingers as he wandered absently next to a cheerful and talkative Jongin through the costume shop’s aisles.
His head far away from his body, musing about pictures of a fishy girl who he doesn’t trust at all, a heartbroken Baekhyun and a confused Chanyeol.
Jongin stops making Kyungsoo stop too, but it wasn’t till the taller glared questionably at the elder one that Kyungsoo realised he has just made him a question.
“…Uh?” Kyungsoo snaps out of his trance, looking up at the brown haired with a mixture of sorry and query in his eyes.
Jongin lets out a deep sigh that confirms to Kyungsoo that he was ignoring him. Again.
Kyungsoo’s such a crappy friend.
A worst one since he is hopelessly in love with his friend.
“I’m…” He tries to say, but Jongin cuts him off with a warm smile which didn’t reach his eyes.
“Hey, it’s okay. It’s normal you’re worried. We’re talking about your cousin and your best friend after all.”
The younger man reaches up for Kyungsoo’s shoulder, squishing it trying to comfort his friend, but his hand fades away as his smile as his arm it’s hanging lifeless at his side.
“But the fact that you’re the oldest doesn’t mean you have to take care of Chanyeol forever…” He adds in a troubled mumble and Kyungsoo couldn’t help but wonder if the youngest was thinking to himself and accidentally spoke out loud without noticing or he consciously whispered that.
He didn’t comment it though.
The brown haired seems to notice his enthusiasm dying away, because a new smile curves his full lips as he takes Kyungsoo’s wrist, surrounding in with long slender fingers, and starts to lead him to somewhere in that store.
Kyungsoo tries to ignore the wild beat of his heart at the gentle touch they share, pushing those disgraceful thoughts of intertwine his fingers with the taller one back and shutting them up.
“I’m sure this story will be happy ending, hyung, so stop worrying, okay? Anyways, we can always help them out, can’t we?” Jongin turned his face without stopping and gave the black haired another heart-stopping smile which made Kyungsoo go crazy and almost forget about his cousin and best friend’s love lives.
“Anyways, we really should get Chanyeol some handcuffs. That would be hilarious, Soo-hyung.” Jongin says cheerfully as the shorter left out a small “yeah”, not really listening to the other’s words anymore as he stared at the floor trying to hide his pink cheeks.
All he could think now was Jongin touching him, Jongin smiling at him, Jongin messing his hair, Jongin laughing at Kyungsoo’s cute and shy reactions when he proposed to buy some more -toys for Chanyeol, and, somewhere in a hide place at the back of his head, Baekhyun glaring at Chanyeol but Chanyeol not glaring back, and Chanyeol needing Baekhyun’s eyes on him but Baekhyun ignoring him over and over.
Love is such a complicated thing.
Kyungsoo thought to himself closing the front door behind him and Jongin, finding Yixing sleeping on the couch with his headphones on and hearing a muffled conversation dying down in the kitchen.
If Yixing is here… Kyungsoo mumbled, voice shaking with realisation. And if nobody else has come back yet…
…Then that means…
“HYUNG!” Jongin’s horrified shout gets him out if his thoughts “Oh my lord! Are you okay? What happened?”
He rushed into the kitchen, finding something he wouldn’t ever imagine in his entire life.
Finding something that scared the living off him.
His best friend and his cousin standing in front of each other in silent, surrounded by smashed glasses, too far away for childhood friends, but still, with an aura of intimacy between them that Kyungsoo couldn’t explain with words.
The two of them glared at Jongin and him with confused eyes and Kyungsoo couldn’t help but smile a little, because maybe their story could be really happy ending after all, because maybe Jongin was right, before realising Baekhyun’s bandages.
Just what the heck has happened here?
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