Sweet and velvet black, broke by bright daylight, white against its darkness, slides into Jongin’s sleep, mixed with the warm sensation of a familiar body pressed against his right side and soft hair under his nose that smelled like coffee, orange and cinnamon, something soft, sweet, but not too much. It smelled like winter, like a cuddly session in the couch under soft blankets, in a try to keep the cold away, it smelled like his favourite movie watched with his favourite person, like the warm of the chimney when the cold was too much. It smelled like calm, like home, and maybe he wasn’t too wrong with his last affirmation.

Still with his eyes closed, he lets himself bury his nose in the sweet locks of hair inhaling deeply, bright smile curving his lips. Jongin opens his eyes, dark room, illuminated just by the daylight sliding between the curtains. Kyungsoo’s head resting on his shoulder, his on top, everybody still sleeping and cans of beer and soda all over the place. He smiles wider and wishes he could just stop time, keep like this forever.

He really wouldn’t mind.

His eyes fall in a sleeping Chanyeol, lips parted, eyes half open, and then they meet a sleeping Sehun, balled in the end of the couch and softly snoring, next to Yixing. Everybody sleeping, head resting on someone else’s shoulder, quiet breaths and soft snores filling the dark silence, coy smiles and slight frowns drawn in everybody’s faces, surely because of some secret dream.

And, finally, his glance meets dark eyelashes almost touching smooth cheeks gracefully, warm breath against his neck, sending shivers down his spine, feeding the increasing warm in his chest, making his skin burn with invisible fire. And that’s when he realizes how hopeless he was, how deep he had fallen and how much he was risking breaking free those feelings he couldn’t keep just to himself.

Two pair of eyes looking at each other, one pair of eyes shut close, the other hiding secret feelings.

It was dangerous, maybe too much, but he couldn’t mind less, because love is hopelessly dangerous.

Yeah, he wishes he could stop time and stay like that forever.

A lazy yawn opens his mouth, and decides to sleep a little more, consciousness fading, hands lost in Kyungsoo’s hair, heart racing and head spinning around how much he was willing to risk, how much did it worth it.

And, just before he falls asleep, he figures out that Kyungsoo worth everything, even a heartbroken, that heartbroken he was so afraid of, but maybe was just his dreams who were talking and not his consciousness.

They were laying on the grass under the dark sky, just illuminated by the pure glow of the stars and the moon, next to each other in perfect silence, the sight was so beautiful it hurt, almost like a dream, a really good dream, but his attention wasn’t in the starry skies, eyes travelling to Baekhyun’s face, just a few inched away from his.

“Look, that’s Cassiopeia, and I can see Andromeda too!” his voice, so cheerful was music for Chanyeol’s ears, a dumb smile spreading in his face like a sweet virus he couldn’t run away from.

“Hmh” he muttered absent, not really paying attention to the stars, more focused in Baekhyun’s illuminated features, his heart aching because damn, he was so beautiful.

A cute frown deformed Baekhyun’s features and the youngest wanted to laugh, because he was so cute without even trying, but then his white breath got lost between the dark sky and the fresh grass, lost in some point between them when their eyes met without any warning.

“You are not even looking to the sky, you idiot” he said with fake exasperation before look back to the highness “and if you’re thinking about any cheesy line I swear to God I will beat you to death.” Chanyeol laughed, mostly because he was right, he couldn’t help but think that watching Baekhyun was way more entertaining than watching the sky, but he swallowed his words with laughter, words that became a secret before he could even say them.

“Bro, stars are beautiful, but do you know what else is?” he joked before burst into laughter for the second time in the night, but maybe there were more than just two times, the thing was he couldn’t remember.

Nonetheless, not even himself knew how much he meant those words.

“Oh, for ’s sake, shut the up, make you a favour” sham annoyance in Baekhyun’s voice, and, even though he wasn’t looking at him in that moment, Chanyeol knew he was rolling his eyes as he sighed, but he also could hear his smile spreading across his lips.

And like that, the sound of his own laughter faded away, and the jokes became heavier in the now, not exactly awkward but neither comfortable, silence shared between them. He stared at Baekhyun and their eyes soon met, the both of them still in silence, reminding like that for long seconds, or were them hours? He couldn’t really tell.

Not a word, not even a gesture, a blame joke, a funny grin, just stares, eyes meeting eyes, air heavy in Chanyeol’s chest, heart beating faster for no reason as he let himself dive into Baekhyun’s deep dark eyes.

Warm. The place his eyes leaded him was warm, bubbly, sheeting and painfully quiet, unique. Warm, warm was his heart, his chest, his everything. Warm was Baekhyun’s stare, everything was warm even though the weather was ing chill. Chanyeol didn’t mind though, he couldn’t mind in fact, because his heart was fluttery with warm and I was no longer cold.

Warm, everything was so warm when Baekhyun was close that Chanyeol couldn’t help but wonder if the nearest he leaned against Baekhyun the warmer he would feel.

Chanyeol closed his eyes for a second, wanting to remember every second of that moment forever, but when he opened his eyes he wasn’t laying in the grass anymore.

A dream.

A beautiful, confusing and perfect dream, but still a dream, nothing more, nothing less.

He lost himself in the couch, neck hurting like a , ears filled with the surrounding chit chats his friends were having, the taste of an odd but bittersweet disappointing feeling in his mouth, and the picture of Baekhyun illuminated by the moonlight was drawn so clearly in his mind it was almost creepy.

The picture was too real, yet, too illusory, too perfect to be real. He could see again his thin lips curved in a half smile, his smooth cheeks so touchable, so near, yet too far away, out of reach, his sparkly dark eyes, looking at him…

He didn’t know why, but his cheeks started to burn for no reason, that warm feeling in his chest was so intensive it hurt, and above all, he thought his heart would break because it was beating way too fast, pounding hard against his rib cage.

What the was that?

He didn’t know, how would he? That was weird, strange, not exactly bad, but it wasn’t exactly good neither. Just, strange.

What was that feeling?

He did feel something similar before, but the last time he felt that it was like four years ago, and not even this intense to the point to leave him breathless.

He wasn’t ill, wasn’t he?

“Look who has waked up from his sleep” said Jongdae rising his voice over the other’s conversations, taking Chanyeol out of his thoughts.

He stared at them, everybody already awake, bright smiles on their faces, having coffee and tea with chocolate cookies as they would be filming some gross TV drama, so dreamy it almost freaked him out.

Eight pairs of eyes stared at him and he just prayed for his own shake his cheeks weren’t as red as he felt they were.

“Good morning” Jongin waved him with a bright smile but his eyes went to Baekhyun’s quite figure, sitting on the countertop, a huge cup of tea between his little, delicate hands, also looking at him but in total silence “Want some coffee?”

“Umh, okay”. That was all he managed to say after a little nod, and, oh God, he wanted to punch himself on the face so bad. How could a dream leave him so spaced out?

The brown haired tapped the chair next to him and he sat there in stupid silence. He handed Chanyeol a Cappuccino, and he excused his mood saying he was just tired when Jongin asked.

“You can’t be tired, Chanyeol-ah, tonight I have the night planned and we need your presence, hyung.” A mischievous smile curved his lips, making him shiver from head to toe. Whatever idea that was, it wasn’t a good one, he could tell by the way Sehun called him hyung.

“What is he even talking about?” he asked, almost praying Jongin would have something to do with Sehun’s plans, so it wouldn’t be that terrible, but, instead, all he gave him was just a bright smile and a careless shrug.

That was when he realized how ed up he was.

“Oh my God” he muttered and everyone started to laugh except him.

Their laughter hadn’t faded away when he felt Baekhyun’s stare glued in his temple and he couldn’t even thing about ignore it because their eyes had already met, and he, miserably, had to look away first, too fluttered and ashamed to look at Baekhyun in the eye when the picture of them of his dream was still so clear in his mind.

And it wasn’t even a bad dream.

The simple idea of have a bad dream of Baekhyun made him flush violently.

Oh, God, what am I even thinking about?

He determined on stop thinking because his head was a mess and it was starting to hurt.

To just stop thinking was always the best way to avoid complicate stuff that made his head hurt.

It has been almost four hours since Kyungsoo woke up, but the sweet feeling of hands rolling gracefully though his hair still reminded there as he took another sip of coffee. His eyes resting in Jongin, and the vague memory of himself falling asleep on his shoulder comes up to his head, making his heart flutter and his cheeks turn red.

The brown haired was talking to the youngest of the group with a bright smile, white teeth showing, bubbles doing weird things to Kyungsoo’s stomach when their eyes met and his smile changed into another, different form that goofy one that deformed every single one of his features and that Kyungsoo loved so much but Jongin himself hated so badly.

The smile he gave him this time didn’t showed his pearly teeth, and it became smaller, but it kept being sweet, clumsy and precious, but that was maybe just because Kyungsoo thought that every part of Jongin was precious, even awkward, and he couldn’t help but fall all over again for the younger.

He was so helpless, so hopeless, but he loved it, he loved it and he loved every single thing Jongin made him feel. He loved it even though it hurt, and sometimes he hated it as much as he hated himself for being such a fool, but he had fallen in so deep, so, he couldn’t help but want more and more and more.

He was so focussed in Jongin’s smile that he didn’t noticed the knowing look Sehun gave them, accompanied by a big smile from ear to ear, before pushing Jongin no-so-subtlety right next to him before disappear at the speed of light from their sight.

That seemed to prick the bubble that had immersed the two of them, making them aware of the rest of the world again. Kyungsoo looked away, trying to hide the pink flush of his checks behind his mug of coffee, but failing miserably, because Jongin had noticed it already, he knew he did. However, he said nothing as his left hand went up to his head, trying to make things less uncomfortable.

Kyungsoo didn’t know exactly why, but the brief silence they shared before Jongin’s deep voice break it felt so awkward he could die. He watched Jongin’s lips moving and his eyes looking at him, but he couldn’t hear anything, his own nervous heartbeat echoing in his ears so loud he worried the brown-haired would heart it.

“Uhm?” was all Kyungsoo managed to say, numb tongue refusing to collaborate, because, what was that smile of Sehun? Did he find out his feelings towards his friend? What if Jongin finds out too? What if he hates him once he does?

The warm feeling of a familiar hand resting on his shoulder got him out of his overwhelming thoughts.

“Are you worrying too much for your cousin again, hyung?” Kyungsoo felt he could breathe again not knowing exactly he was holding his breath till now.

Jongin gave him a warm smile, and Kyungsoo had to smile him back clumsily and little and he waited for him to talk again.

“You don’t have to worry, they’ll be okay, I’m sure of it” He kept smiling, but Kyungsoo’s smile fade away, becoming a dead, emotionless expression of worry. The tallest noticed the change in the glow of his eyes and slightly bended his knees to make himself the same height as Kyungsoo and then make the oldest look at him in the eye grabbing his chin.

“Is something wrong, isn’t it?” He asked but Kyungsoo said nothing as he tried to look away, but Jongin’s hand keeping his head immovable and making almost impossible to avoid the eye contact.

“I’m okay, Jongin, no need to worry” Kyungsoo said eyes glued in the floor, suddenly too entreating to look away from it.

“Liar” the words left Jongin’s fraught lips in a hush sigh, and Kyungsoo suddenly couldn’t feel his fingers grabbing his chin anymore.

He wanted them back.

“I-I’m fine” he stuttered, and the youngest shook his head, a little smile deforming Jongin’s serious features.

He stepped closer and it was difficult to breathe.

“Hyung, please, don’t lie to me. You don’t have to tell me, but just don’t lie to me” full soft lips touching his ear, Kyungsoo felt like he was going to collapse and melt right there, heart pounding in his throat and eyes shut close.

His legs became jelly and all the air was not enough for his lungs, suddenly smaller than normal.

“I’m sorry” Kyungsoo mumbled opening his eyes, but Jongin wasn’t there anymore.

He heart felt cold and the air surrounding him empty. He didn’t know why, but he wanted to cry, anyways, he couldn’t, because he also felt Baekhyun’s eyes burning on his temple, and he had to smile him before lead to the bathroom.

“I’m stabling” Sehun’s complain came out as a whine as he stretched in the couch like a five years old kid.

“Me too, what do we have on the menu today, Kyungsoo?” Agreed Jongdae patting his stomach with puppy eyes.

“I don’t really feel like cooking for nine people today to be honest” he muttered in a tired sigh, slouching. The youngest, who had already sited down properly, gave him a sad gripe and started pouting.

“Pleeeeeease? Your cooking is heaven, pleeeeeeease, Kyungsoo-hyung!” He begged, but Kyungsoo wasn’t going to change his mind.

“Then help him out instead of complain” said Junmyeon crossing his arms across his chest, a mischievous smile curving his lips as the youngest moaned in discontent.

“I at cooking” Sehun said, still pouting.

“We all do except Kyungsoo and Chanyeol”. Sehun sighed, giving up.

“What are we ordering then?”

“Chinese take out?” proposed Junmyeon and everybody silently agreed as he took the phone.

Almost three hours after, Baekhyun was once more alone in the kitchen.

“I can’t believe this” grumbled with annoyance, taking between his hands the scourer for the third time in three days, but, this time, he wasn’t in the mood of washing the dishes, wondering why the Kyungsoo hadn’t a bloody dishwasher in this house.

He sighed, cursing in his mind the second he decided that scissors were a best option than rock.

 “I think life hates me”.

“I thought you enjoyed washing the dishes, what a surprise”

His voice made Baekhyun jump in the site, turning his head to face the familiar deep voice with bated breath, finding a crooked smile curving Chanyeol’s lips and a funny look in his eyes. Baekhyun’s legs became jelly, but he managed to roll his eyes, and come back to his chores with another exasperated sigh.

It’s easier if you show you don’t care.

But that was impossible since Chanyeol’s body was now so close to his he could feel his skin sizzle.

“Now I see I was wrong” Added the tallest, still with that funny tone in his voice.

Baekhyun wanted to spit some ironic comment, he felt like he had to, but he had to swallow his words when he found the black-haired taking another scourer and starting washing the dishes next to him.

“What are you-?” he stuttered, half impressed by the strange behaviour of the tallest, half dumbfounded because, damn it, he was so close.

“I’m helping you out with the dishes, obviously. I don’t want you to get hurt like the last time” Chanyeol said with unbelievable ease and with the most beautiful smile Baekhyun has ever seen in his lips dawned in his lips, making his heart flutter with such simple words.

Does he care about me?

Dumb thoughts in his dumb mid ran wild, but he fell off his could once he remembered the promise he made Kyungsoo.

How do I tell him?

How do I break his heart?

Baekhyun sock his head in a try of keep those stupid thoughts out of his mind.

“There’s no need to. I lost the game, not you” Baekhyun wanted to say coldly, but his voce came out as a shy mumble that made him look like a street puppy. Chanyeol gave him another smile, making him look away.

“Well, I think you also own me an answer to a certain question I made you yesterday, and it seems like I just can talk to you in the kitchen”.

And that was when Baekhyun remembered.

. .

“W-What question?” said Baekhyun, pretending he didn’t know what Chanyeol was talking about, but a big had stopped him to keep washing the dishes. He looked up to meet Chanyeol’s stare glued in his.

I’m so ed up. Baekhyun though as his heart skipped a beat because Chanyeol was looking at him so intensely, and he was grabbing his hand, and it felt so warm against his, making him to stare back with wide open eyes. Their bodies were too close to be comfortable, touching in a very awkward way, one of Baekhyun’s hand between Chanyeol’s one, the other closed in a fit near to his racing heart, so loud he swore he wasn’t the only one who could heart it. Their legs were tangled, as tangled as Baekhyun’s messy thoughts because he had Chanyeol slightly leaning over him, so Baekhyun could look at him in the eye without have to lift his head.

Baekhyun forgot how to breathe, cold sweat covering his forehead. Chanyeol’s burning eyes in his, that fell to his parted lips.

Baekhyun gulped with difficulty and Chanyeol’s voice came out as a husky whisper.

“Do you forgive me?”

I’M SORRY

SORRYSORRYSORRYSORRY I DIDN'T PLAN IT TO TAKE ME THIS LONG.

I'M REALLY SORRY but I've been through a really hard time, so I've been unable to update. Y'know, exams, stress, family problems, more personal problems, etc. It’s been a ty time and this chapter is a bit lame, so forgive me.

Sorry if there are typos or mistakes. I really wanted to update today so I had to rush a little.

Thanks so much for reading.

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