I want you to be mine

Selfishly,

thoughtlessly,

mine.

Because

how can you be

just friends with someone

who you want to kiss all the time?

(Niocra Kladsflem)

Jinyoung throws his pen against his wall in anger making the ink break out of the plastic casing and splatter against the wall. He grabs his head in between his hands,letting out a slight sob of hurt.

“Youngjae…why do you always like s? I’m right here.” Jinyoung mumbles, sobs wrecking his body. He grabs his chest where his heart is like that would calm down his breaking heart.

“I don’t need him

I don’t need him

I don’t need him.” Jinyoung sobs like a mantra. He looks up from his desk and sees the picture of him and Youngjae together. 

“I need him.”

—-

5:31 AM

Jinyoung tosses and turns in his bed thinking about Youngjae. Around last year, he realized he had feelings for his cute friend but he never acted on it. He always hid it and tried to support Youngjae finding someone.

“What do you even like about him?” Jinyoung’s mother asks when she sees her very depressed son walk through the living room. Jinyoung stopped for a second,spinning on his heels to meet his mothers kind,warm eyes.

“What do I not like about him. I love his beautiful brown hair and when he bleached it blonde that one time, I almost passed out in joy. His legs are my favorite part of his body, wait, no. I take that back.” Jinyoung laughs quietly. “I love his eyes. The little mole under his one eye makes me want to protect him. His eyes remind me of coffee, like good coffee. His hands are super soft. I just want to hold them all the time. Mom, I think I am in love.” Jinyoung looks over to his mom who is sipping on tea quietly.

“It indeed seems that way. Jinyoung, you have to ask if he likes you. Otherwise, you will never know.” 

“Oh mom, If only it was that easy.” Jinyoung laughs bitterly turning over on his side.

—-

ayyy jinyoung like youngjae hA