[CONTENTID1]Thirteen[/CONTENTID1]

[CONTENTID2]“Where are you?” Seunghyun whispered through the phone keeping his voice as low as possible. He doubted Youngbae would find him soon enough. The bathroom wasn’t exactly a good hideout.

“I am not coming back tonight.” Seungri’s answer hit him like a thunderstone.

“What do you mean you’re not coming back?” Seunghyun hissed at his brother. “You promised you won’t be long!”

“Change of plans.” Seungri gave a girly-like giggle. “I met Jiyong and things took another turn. I will tell you all about it later.”

“Seungri ah, you can’t do that.” Seunghyun resulted to begging. “You can’t possibly leave me with Youngbae all alone!”

“Hey!” His brother’s voice came in an amused scold. “Youngbae hyung is not a monster you know. He’s actually a very warm person...” Someone spoke in the background before Seungri took the reign of the conversation again. “I’ve got to go Seunghyun ah. I will talk to you tomorrow.”

“Wait…”

Click.

Seunghyun cursed aloud unable to contain the tangled chaos that rummaged his head.

“Come out.” Youngbae’s gruff voice came through the closed bathroom door before he slightly kicked it. “You can’t hide from me forever.”

“I am not hiding.” Seunghyun replied through the door still unable to unlock it.

After taking a deep breath, Seunghyun emerged from the bathroom landing face to face with Youngbae. The shorter looked at him with malicious eyes that held scary promises.

Seunghyun lied.

He was definitely hiding. He didn’t know how to face Youngbae yet. He wasn’t even sure if he wanted to. Seungri was wrong. Youngbae wasn’t warm. This Youngbae was different. The disappointed, angry, bitter and vengeful Youngbae was extremely scary.

“How long were you planning to stay in there?” Youngbae demanded not bothering to leave Seunghyun with any personal space. It was as if he decided to suffocate him alive.

“I am hungry.” Seunghyun opted for a change of subject when he spotted the tray of food in the middle of the room. Youngbae must’ve ordered it when he was pathetically hiding in the bathroom and asking his brother for help.

Youngbae narrowed his eyes on him, obviously noticing Seunghyun’s try to change the subject, and thankfully letting him get away with it. He nodded toward the food inviting Seunghyun to go with him.

He abided, willing to do anything that will keep Youngbae’s malicious intent stare off him.

Seunghyun was wrong.

Throughout the whole meal, Youngbae wouldn’t keep his eyes off him. He kept staring him down as if he intended to eat him instead of the supper in front of them. Seunghyun swallowed more than once trying to evade his intent looks.

Youngbae removed the carrots from Seunghyun’s plate knowing all too well that he doesn’t eat them. He even divided some fish portions and added them to Seunghyun’s meal.

Some of Seunghyun tension dissipated at the way Youngbae cared for him. The warm precious person he knew wasn’t completely gone after all. There was a little something in Youngbae that haven’t changed.

“Seungri is staying the night out.” Seunghyun tried after a long while of silence.

“I know.” Youngbae managed in a calm tone between bites.

Seunghyun couldn’t gauge his feelings. Was he upset that Seungri probably got together with Jiyong? How did Youngbae know anyway? Did he call Seungri?

“Jiyong called me.” Youngbae offered as if reading Seunghyun’s mind.

He wasn’t reassured by any means but he wasn’t going to press on it. He would rather forget all about it instead.

Once they finished eating, Seunghyun sat on the sofa not sure about what the hell did Youngbae have in store for him next. It wasn’t long before Youngbae emerged with some boxes.

“Youngbae-ssi?” Seunghyun asked confused. “What are those?”

Youngbae narrowed his eyes on him. “Stop calling me so formally.”

“What do you want me to call you then? Hyung?”

“I am not your hyung!” Youngbae scolded. “And you’re certainly not my dongseang. The only dongseangs I have are Daesung and Seungri. You’re definitely neither of them.”

“Youngbae.” Seunghyun said the single word feeling light as they crossed his lips. “Is that fine?”

Youngbae nodded with satisfaction getting back to his task. He needn’t to answer Seunghyun’s question. Apparently, films’ DVDs occupied the boxes, which Youngbae brought with him. He inserted one of them in the DVD player.

Seunghyun can watch a film with Youngbae.

Or so he thought.

As soon as Youngbae laid his head on Seunghyun’s thighs using him as a pillow, he tensed feeling all sorts of warmth invading his being.

He intended to protest but soon realised that he didn’t want to. Seunghyun can get used to this. He can pretend as if this was normal. Like nothing was between him and Youngbae. No vengeance. No hard feelings. Just mutual understanding and admiration.

Throughout the whole film, Seunghyun kept peeking at Youngbae’s face on his lap. He fought the urge to run his fingers through his soft hair and fix the messy strands on his front.

He tried to focus on the film but the sight of Youngbae was much more interesting in Seunghyun’s book.

He really missed him. In more ways than he could admit.

“Coward.” Youngbae muttered once the film’s credits started rolling.

“Huh?”

“The hero,” Youngbae explained not bothering to turn toward him. “He took the easy way out by ending his life.”

“It depends on the way you look at it,” Seunghyun started pensively. “He ended his life once his lover died, he lost his job and every possible reason that would make him want to stay alive. He simply didn’t have a purpose to live anymore.”

Youngbae faced him without getting up from his lap. “That’s why he’s a coward. He could’ve fought but he didn’t.”

“I just told you he didn’t have anything left to fight for.”

“You don’t believe suicide is cowardice?”

“In the right conditions and for the right reasons, it could be considered courage.”

“There’s no possible reason to make someone take his own life.”

Seunghyun sighed partially enjoying their arguments after every cinematic experience. “There are far too many Youngbae. Don’t try to fool yourself.”

“I am not fooling myself,” Youngbae insisted. “There are far too many reasons for other people but none for me.”

Seunghyun left it at that realising that they might not come to an agreement about this point. They do have different opinions about certain things despite their close taste.

They watched another film in silence. This one was a bit brighter. Yet, just like the first, the sight of Youngbae laying on his lap distracted Seunghyun. He couldn’t pos