When I opened my eyes all I saw was pitch black darkness. A sensible thing would be to move, but I definitely didn’t feel like it. I liked lying down, when no one disturbed. And something fluffy under my back (which I hoped was my silky bed) was too comfortable to leave. Where the hell was I?

After a few minutes of lying in silence, I realized that my eyes had been closed all along. How stupid of me. I should have opened them. In fact I didn’t even know if the sun had risen. Or if it had set down at all. This feeling flowing around in my body was another level of not caring and it felt good. It felt too good to ever care again.

Suddenly I felt something grab my arms with force and yank me away from the ground. A strange sensation of dizziness overwhelmed me as even the darkness around me started to spin.

“Are you kidding me?!” a familiar voice yelled. “Open your eyes, damn it!”

I tried to do as told. But it was still hard to leave all that comfort behind.

“Did you get drunk again?!” a voice continued to shout in my ears. “It’s been more than a week and you’re like this again! What if I hadn’t found you?!” at that I finally opened my eyes.

A few colors suddenly came into vision as I looked around. The fluffy bed sheets turned out to be green grass. I could tell it was green, because the sun had already started to paint the sky with several shades of blue. I shivered. Was it always this cold at dawn?

I looked around again, this time also seeing a lot of trees. Tall and short and bushy. The only color different in the scenery was a bright red set of swings. I was in a park. ‘Not my park’ I thought.

I looked up, this time realizing that the sky above me was not the sky of my home. I was still away. And right there, I was sure I didn’t know if I had a home at all.

I shivered.

My body was starting to come out of numbness. With a sigh, I realized that the hand that had grabbed my arm, was still holding it. Slowly, I followed my gaze, until the face of its owner came into view.

His face held many emotions. Anger, disappointment, maybe a little bit of disgust, some more pity and definitely a lot of relief. I looked at my husband’s face never once leaving it.

He had found me.

Sehun was here.     

I remember exactly when it started

.After leaving Korea, my life seemed like a dream. Not that it was filled with fairytales or rainbows. It was just too unreal. Every time I looked back, I got the feeling as if I was watching someone else’s life through a movie.

It started with a really long ride from the airport. Some other people would grab this chance to look around. London is definitely called one of the greatest cities in the world for a reason. But I did something I would never have done before. I laid down comfortably on the back seat and closed my eyes trying or pretending to sleep. I could feel Sehun’s slow breaths next to me and I was sure he looked down at me from time to time. To check on me? I don’t know, but his hand that touched my hair just for a few seconds felt warm and nice.

I realized that we had reached our destination when our car stopped for a longer time. Sehun hadn’t moved from next to me. I slowly sat up straight to look at him only to see that he had fallen asleep against the window.

I loved it when he slept.

He always looked peaceful and serene.

A light knock on my window woke me from my thoughts as I opened the door for the driver to get my bags. I got out of the car, wanting to see the place I would live in for who knows how long.

I looked forward and saw a big apartment building. Nothing too special.

“You can now see your penthouse, Miss. Everything is ready.” The driver informed me in his perfect, accented English.

“Thank you.” I smiled softly. “I’m a Mrs. by the way.” I added before entering the building.

The first few days were like a real English adventure. I saw everything I had seen on the pictures, textbooks and the internet. Sehun came sightseeing with me, though very few words were exchanged.

It was all very pleasurable. Tasty breakfasts, lunches and even more delicious dinners, while we watched over this busy city. At night Sehun would bring me home, but he never entered the building with me. I never questioned his whereabouts. I would always go to my room that was filled with a good amount of quality books just across the full length windows that overlooked the city lights. I would open a window and slide in my comfortable bed, with an interesting book to read the night away. Somehow I couldn’t even feel the cold from the winter outside. Tiredness would always overtake my body and I fell asleep before Sehun’s return.

That was until the fourth day of our holiday.

That night I found the book I couldn’t tear away from. A classic. The one that makes you question if you’ll ever need any sleep or food to survive. Halfway through the book I heard the unfamiliar sound of the front door opening and closing with a click.

That’s when I realized that I had never seen Sehun before sleep. When I looked over at the watch on my bedside table it read 4:26 am. It was weird of him. He had never come home so late back home, so the curiosity took over me, as I tapped barefoot into the living room which was illuminated only by the busy city under us.

Sehun was sprawled on the sofa looking up at the ceiling his eyes clearly unfocused.

The room strangely stank of alcohol.

“Where were you, Sehun?” I whispered as if afraid to wake him from his trance.

“Is that you?” he asked suddenly, his voice thick and velvety. “I was enjoying the city, what do you think?”

“Were you at a club?” I asked again.

“Yeah…” he answered shortly.

“I think you need to sleep. Come on.” I slowly approached him, pulling him into a sitting position. “How much did you drink?”

“I’m obviously too drunk to remember.” He slurred. My attempt to pull him up failed as he fell back down pulling me with him. He was dangerously close enough for me to feel his not so pleasant breath down my neck.

“I’ve been out drinking every night since we came here and you didn’t even notice.” He whispered in my ear. “Is this how you care about your husband? What if something had happened to me? The streets are so dangerous here.” His words were slowly sending electric shivers down my body. Since when did he have this effect on me?

“What would you do if something happened to me?” he whispered. His hands were at my waist keeping me in place. His fingertips slowly moving and leaving traces of fire. The feeling of pleasant burning.

“Why aren’t you answering?” he whispered again. He’s drunk, I repeated to myself for the hundredth time.

“I don’t know.” I said finally. The closeness making my mind weaker than it had ever been. “I don’t know.”

“Will you tell me when you know?” he asked again. My own heartbeat was ringing in my ears, making it hard to move or think.

“You’ll be the first to know.” I finally said and he nodded with a small smile, before laying back down on the couch and drifting off to dreamland. What was he seeing there was impossible for me to reach, but it must have been s