Dance into the Fire

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Mean words spoken rashly

Usually try to cover up guilt

Try not to take them to heart

Because softness is their greatest victim

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Chapter Seventeen

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Trigger warning: forceful non-con which does not get taken fully through but it’s a bit of a sensitive area so I’m putting up a warning (though if you’ve read the first one, this is mild in comparison)

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Feeling like a complete idiot, Himchan lowered himself down onto the private looking bench and brought his fingers to his face in the hopes that he could somehow contain his tears even though he knew fine well that they had already flown freely down his face. He knew fine well that there was nothing that he could do in order to stop them flowing but he felt bad for possibly ruining his makeup and dispelling further any myths that people may have formed about him. For the first time in a long while he had actually noticed just how much attention was being sent his way, had heard the softly spoken whispers of various nobles and others who were attending the Bridal Picnic in honour of their crowned Prince and his brother and had been pleasantly surprised to find that the words were filled with warmth and kindness.

There were a few who were a little more blunt and to the point, but Himchan could disregard those as essentially he was surrounded by eager young men who were having to be on their best behaviour. Plus, despite Key attempting to give him something of an education in the physiology of adult life and what different words meant, Himchan was still as innocent as they came. So, half of the very rude words the boy did not understand and he just simply smiled as he continued to wander about in the hopes of finding Yongguk or maybe Tiffany whom he could talk to.

He had learnt through conversation with a Captain, a young man who smiled brightly at him with kitten lips, that Yongguk had been called away to deal with a military matter concerning the nearby X planet where there had been a slight uprising by a group calling themselves ‘Monster’. Yongguk had told the Captain to inform him that he would be back shortly to call him up for a private tea which would surely have everyone talking. Himchan had thanked the Captain, but had forgotten his name and instead tried to find Tiffany. When he did find her, she was as per usual, surrounded by at least ten men and was engaged in a highly animated discussion with them so he thought best to leave her well enough alone for now.

Plus, it gave him ample opportunity to wander around the lush gardens which were in full bloom with glistening flowers he barely knew the name of and tall growing tree’s that rustled with just the slightest of breeze, whilst wind chimes tinkled gently as they were suspended from branches. He eventually came across a koi carp fish pond and had smiled brightly as he carefully leant over the edge to watch the fish as they swam about, a few of the more curious ones coming to the surface to enquire if he had any food for them which he unfortunately did not.

It was then that a cold, horrible voice spoke and brought back every last negative thought that he had ever had about being selected as a bride.

“Oh look, it’s the woodlouse that escaped a beating.”

Raising and turning ever so slowly, Himchan found himself face to face with Jay Park, the son of the Mayor of his former home town who had always persisted in constantly harassing and picking on the youngster for as long as he could remember. Himchan’s first real memories were of Jay, towering over his small form at some kind of event and repeatedly jabbing him in the shoulder chanting, “Lousy woodlouse” repeatedly.

What was worse was that at the time, not a single one of the townsfolk had stepped in to try and stop the torment to the young boy. Even the Mayor had only called his son off when he required him and that was a good hour after the teasing began. So, to meet the same boy now as a young man who still sneered at him like he was a piece of dirt, made Himchan feel extra nervous and shy.

Jay snorted towards the figure, his eyes raking up and down the kimono clad body, “Even covered in fine silks you’re still nothing more than a useless woodlouse. No wonder you’re walking around by yourself like a lost little sheep. But there again that’s all you are isn’t it, woodlouse? A lost little sheep who should have left our village to wander off and die as a lonely little woodlouse.”

Himchan tried desperately to think of Yongguk to banish the terrible thoughts that were raising back to his mind because he knew that it was nothing more than a very nasty tormenting tease being directed towards him but it only served to reiterate everything negative that he thought about himself. Jay’s words reminded him that he was ugly, that he was unlovable, that no one would give him the time of day and if he was lucky they he may just end up as nothing more than a simple workhouse boy and he suddenly felt very stupid and worthless.

Though suddenly Jay was right up close in his face, hands rudely pulling his body towards his in a way that sent sick shivers down Himchan’s back and his natural fear of the other tripled into terror as he saw the expression on Jay’s face. Pure lust that was bordering on animalistic and predatory.

“Though you scrub up amazingly well, how about I drag you behind one of those bushes and turn you into the w*ore that you should have been from the day you bled,” Jay’s words were dark and laced with something that Himchan could not recognise or know how to respond to in the slightest. The next second he knew, a very forceful kiss full of teeth was unexpectedly upon him and Himchan desperately tried to pull away only to have Jay merely grab him all the more rougher and push him harshly up against a nearby tree.

“No!” Himchan yelled when Jay finally relinquished his mouth to start trying to tear off his clothes, “Please! Stop it, I don’t want...no!”

If Jay had meant to growl something towards him, the words were lost when a fist collided with the side of his face and sent him tumbling to the ground. Himchan barely had a chance to even register what had happened as a hand gripped onto his arm to pull him away from the scene whilst a man stood seething over the fallen Jay.

Himchan felt completely lost and as soon as he felt the pressure leaving his arms as he was released, the young carrier had rushed off, trying desperately to get away from what had just happened, barely aware of where he had run, what he was going to do once he got there or even becoming aware of the fact that he was crying. It was impossible to say where he had stumbled, only that it was relatively quiet and the harrowing years of abuse and torment which had come from the place where he was supposed to have grown up and had happy memories came back to haunt him with fresh vulgarity.

Was that really what the townsfolk had wanted him to be? Something that could just be used, abused and left at the end of the event with no one to help him out of it?

Fresh tears sprung from his eyes as he tried to push the thoughts away, a breeze just nipping at the skin on his chest as he hadn’t even thought to try and fix his clothes though mentally he already knew that he would never be able to wear this kimono again. He felt dirty, impure and unclean and wanted nothing more than to leave right at this second and hide his sickening form away from the entire world so that he would no longer be an embarrassment or a temptation to anyone.

Vaguely he wondered if Yongguk had only danced with him for that reason alone, if Jin had only been kind because they wanted to do such horrible and cruel things to him as well. Would all the men he met in his life want to drag him behind a bush and treat him like a w*ore? He was crying openly now, not caring in the slightest if anyone were to hear him or not because what did it matter? He was a worthless woodlouse whom would be dressed up and presented for a bunch of men who wanted nothing more than to hurt him.

He was a fool to believe in anything else because that’s what he was when the glamour and glory was taken out of the equation and he had stupidly allowed himself to believe in a lie.

“Oh thank all the gods,” a new voice cut through the mental degradation that was swilling around Himchan’s mind, “There you are. I feared that you had run off into the woods or something like that.”

Blinking slowly, Himchan raised his head and blearily tried to find the owner of the soft voice that was edged with experience and a genuine concern. It reminded him of summer days when there would be an accidental over delivery of bread and honey and he would be able to steal away to eat it in the middle of a quiet little meadow out of the back of the orphanage where no one would disturb him in the slightest. But before he could even manage to see the owner of the voice’s face, a silken handkerchief with blue lacing was ever so gently pressed against his face in order to remove the tears that were still running freely.

“There, you’re safe now,” the honey voice continued to speak, “No need to cry anymore. He’s gone and I can guarantee you that he’ll never be coming back to torment you ever again.”

Himchan blinked as the handkerchief was pulled away and he found himself looking down at a young man who was presently kneeling in front of him, with a soft round face that spoke of youth but it was possible that he was a few years older than what he appeared. He had sharply defined eyes, a very prominent chin that only added to his adorable look and hair which was cleverly styled up so that it appeared much shorter than it actually was. It rose upwards, almost as if in a peak formation and there were golden tips just visible throughout.

Unable to get his thoughts into gear, Himchan lowered his gaze naturally and tried to get his lips to work to form some kind of coherent sentence to speak his thanks but there were still tremors running through his system and it was so tempting to just break away from everything but he knew that he couldn’t.

The young-looking boy however, nodded and stood up, signalling to a couple of men that were with him but Himchan only really took notice of the very fine, stylised hanbok that the other was wearing. It was an onyx black with silver decoration and embroidery the likes of which he had never seen before. If he hadn’t been in such a terrified state, then there was every possibility that he would have tried to reach out and touch that fine work but he didn’t.

Instead a panicked squeak escaped him as all he could focus on was the fact that this lovely looking boy was mere inches from his body and his mind filled with what had just nearly happened. He didn’t mean to be so weak or even that startling but thankfully the male in front of him did not seem to take offence towards it. In fact, he finished shouting something at someone and resumed his previous kneeling position in front of Himchan.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to frighten you,” the male said, “I swear I’m not going to do anything to you or hurt you either. I just want to help.”

Himchan hiccupped and hugged his arms around himself, trying to get his head together but he couldn’t. The boy remained in front of him however, speaking soothing words and occasionally dabbing the silken handkerchief onto his face with care and devotion the likes of which Himchan was sure he hadn’t felt in a long while. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, which in reality had only barely been half-an-hour, the tears had turned into nothing more than just silently running trickles and Himchan had finally stopped jumping at every last sound or bursting into a new set of tears.

The man had moved from kneeling in front of Himchan to sitting next to him and slowly the carrier had leaned into him in order to take some extra comfort. He was still shaken by the experience but he was at least a whole lot calmer now which was a good thing.

Gently the man reached up to pet his hair, “There. I know you’re not feeling much better now but you’re safe and that’s the best thing, right?”

Silently Himchan nodded, trying to swallow the lump in his throat so that he could at least speak to the other and express his thanks but it was still far too early for that. He felt a fool for not being able to say or really do anything but the whole scene was just far too much for him to even comprehend. “I sent one of my follows to find someone who knows you, just to make sure that you get back to the Bridal dorms fine. Once you’re there you should take a really long bath and I’ll get my maids to bring you across a really special hot chocolate drink because it’ll help you to sleep. I’ll deal with that pretentious upstart and his father as well, how dare they think that they can come to the Capital and act that way.”

A slight hum escaped from Himchan’s throat though he honestly couldn’t say what he was responding too in the slightest. The boy kept on talking, clearly trying to distract him from the horrors of what had just nearly happened and it warmed Himchan’s heart a little to know that there were actual real men who were kind, loving and caring on so many levels.

“Himchan!” a female voice called suddenly, breaking through the turmoil of the terrified man’s mind and he turned to see Tiffany rushing towards him. “Oh my god! I only just heard! Are you all right, did he hurt you or anything?”

A fresh set of tears escaped from Himchan as he launched himself at the girl, fully glad to be in her embrace and Tiffany held onto him as tightly as she could. “By all things heaven and earth! Himchan! I’m sorry to have left you alone. The Dragon is on her way, she’ll be in a right stew about this,” Tiffany continued on before shaking her head, “If I had known.... ohhh I’ll punch that sorry son of a...”

“I’ve already done so, Miss,” the boy who had kept him company the whole time spoke, “In fact I did a fair bit more and I plan to make sure that they pay the full price for what they have done.”

Looking up, Tiffany smiled brightly for the man and then suddenly went stiff as a board as she recognised him all too easily. A soft chuckle came from the other and he smiled softly towards her, “No need for formalities. I wouldn’t dream of such a thing in a moment like this. Just take care of this precious little one for me, make sure he is well treated when he gets back to his dormitory.”

Tiffany nodded hurriedly, “I’ll ensure that your Majesty.”

Prince Zico shook his head, “Like I said before, no need for formalities. I best go before the Dragon sees me, she’ll chase me out of here with a broom or something like that.”

Looking down at his hands, Zico smiled and suddenly knelt next to the still crying boy, “Here, Himchan, take this with you and once your tears are dried you keep it.”

Blinking softly, Himchan looked up into the face of the Crown Prince of Matoki and finally managed to swallow the lump of bile in his throat to croak out, “Thank you.”

“It was my pleasure,” Zico responded gently, reaching out to softly brush some of the loose strands of hair out of Himchan’s face, “I look forward to meeting you again in far more charming and pleasant circumstances, my little shining star.”

With those words said, Zico was hurried away by one of his personal bodyguards just before the Dragon rounded the corner filled with a fire the likes of which Himchan had never seen. Though he only managed to focus on her for maybe five seconds before an uttermost exhaustion hit him and he passed out in Tiffany’s arms. The only thing he could process at the moment that sleep took him was the fact that he had just been saved by the Prince and then promptly called a shining star.

He couldn’t even begin to comprehend what that all meant but now he was firmly in the realm of sleep and there was no way that he was going to step out of it any time soon.