I was finally allowed to go home. After three days of probation, or what I called, suicide watch, they had decided that I was stable enough to stay at home instead of hospital. I hated being watched and examined by these nurses constantly, it made me so uncomfortable. They still didn't trust me to be on my own, though and Seungri was staying with me for a few more weeks.

The police had been in the day before yesterday. They had received a statement from me that was going to be put forward in the court case.

My Seungri and his manager came round in the morning and and delivered me some clothes to wear. I pulled the pair of tracksuit and sweater on. The ends of the arms fell way past my wrists and dangled by my sides. I was glad I could cover my arms up, the fans wouldn't like to see the scars.

“There's gonna be lots of people, hyung” Seungri said as I was signing the release papers.

“I am aware” I smiled grimly. I was dreading the crowds outside of the hospital. Everyone seemed to want to catch a glimpse of the ‘Suicidal idol’ at his lowest point. I hiked my back pack up my shoulders and held my hand out for Seungri to take. When his warm fingers wrapped themselves in mine, I finally felt safe. The hospital staff let me go and Seungri’s manager called for the car to be taken round.

I clung onto Seungri and we were in the main lobby waiting for the car. I saw the fans and press through the window and burrowed my face into Seungri’s neck. He wrapped an arms around my shoulders and kissed my temple softly. “I'm here baby, don't be scared. You're going home and you're going to rest for a bit, okay?” I nodded into his back neck and kept my hands securely in his.

The far was finally a relatively short distance away and we left the hospital. The cameras flashed madly and I cringed. Seungri pushed through the crowd, basically half carrying me in his arms. My sunglasses slipped down my nose and everybody could see my red rimmed, horrible looking eyes. I had not put any makeup on and I looked like death.

Seungri used his other hand to pull me close to him and we slowly made our way through the crowds. People were sh