“I’m sorry hyung” I whispered as we got in the car after my latest performance. My manager towered over me and I crouched back into the edge of the seat.
 
“Sorry isn’t good enough this time, Yongie” I choked at the sickening sweetness “Just wait until we get back to the hotel.” Youngbae had just got into his car and we started driving. I sat on edge at the back of the car whilst my manager sat opposite me with an evil grin on his face. I played with my fingers nervously and tried not to think about what was awaiting me back at the hotel.
 
I met with my members in the hall of the hotel “We’re going for food, JiYong. Do you want to come?” Seungri asked, touching my shoulder lightly. As I was about to answer, my manager cut in.
 
“Actually no, JiYong can’t tonight; we have various things to sort out.” I gulped and looked at my members for help.
 
“Oh well hyung, we can go another time then” Seungri smiled sadly before squeezing my shoulder and wandering off with the others. My manager smirked at me before gripping forearm and dragging me to the lift. I gnawed at my nails until we arrived at my hotel suite.
 
As soon as the door closed behind him, I received a kick to the back of the legs that made me fall to the ground. “You little ” he snarled before kicking me in the ribs. My side split with pain and I cried not so silently. “Shut up you good for nothing” tears slid down my cheeks. He grabbed me by the hair and pulled me up to a sitting position before ramming his knee into my stomach. All the air was knocked out of me and I wheezed uncontrollably. A few more rams to the stomach and he smashed my head into the floor. I whimpered uselessly and cried. He gave me one last look before heavily dropping his foot onto my hand. “AHHH” I screamed in pain and clutched my hand to my chest. The door slammed shut behind him and I was left in the dark recesses of my room.
 
I lay there for hours, crying and whimpering and eventually I dragged my aching body to the bathroom to clean myself. A fresh spread of bruises across my stomach and side and a bleeding nose. My manager was clever, he never hurt my face too badly, and he never punched me where it would be obvious. I turned the shower on and huddled under the warm water, crying and wishing that all this pain would go away. I just wanted to be left alone.
 
Sometimes I thought about just leaving, killing myself to escape the misery but I couldn’t do that to my family or my members. It would be a selfish thing to do. I had once held the pills in my hand and sobbed whilst trying to convince myself to take them but it was too no avail, I just couldn’t bring myself to do it.
 
People knew nothing about my life behind closed doors. The smiles and laughs were all for show. I had joined YG entertainment at the naïve age of twelve. It had all started off as fun and games until I was assigned a manager. We all had different managers but mine was the best. He used to take me out for meals and treat me all the time but that all changed. A year into my training, he had started getting frustrated and angry about silly things. It started off with shouting and mood swings. The first time he hit me I was 13 years old.
 
It had been a stressful day and he had apologised to me the next day. But he did it again and again and soon it was a frequent occurrence. It was normal for me to go home from the studio with bruises and cuts from the day and Youngbae was the one who first noticed. I had told him that it was merely me being clumsy. He had given me a questioning gaze and turned away.
 
I turned the shower off and crawled onto the mat. A knock on the door sounded and my head sprang up. “Hyung it’s me” Seungri called. I sighed before painfully pulling myself to my feet. I covered myself in the bathrobe and made sure that no bruises were showing before opening the door.
 
“Hyung” Seungri cried when he saw me “We missed you at dinner; I thought you had something to do with manager nim.” He pouted cutely before folding his arms.
 
“I – we finished.” My voice was weak and croaky from crying and a look of concern crossed Seungri’s features.
 
“Are you alright?” he asked caringly.
 
“Neh, I’m fine Seungri-ah” he gave a look of nervousness.
 
“I’m staying with you tonight.” He smiled before falling onto my bed. I rolled my eyes at him. Great, now I had to get changed inconspicuously. He picked up a pair of short and a t-shirt from the floor and handed them to me. I grimaced. Shorts were never a good idea when one had bruises. But I took them from him anyway and hobbled to the bathroom. My whole body was aching and I closed my eyes and let the pain wash over me.
 
I pulled on a pair of boxers and the clothes Seungri had given to me before leaving the bathroom slowly and limping over to the bed where Seungri sat on his phone. I quickly covered myself in the blankets before Seungri looked at me and I turned away from him.
 
I heard his phone being put away and soon an arm circled around my waist. I winced as it scraped one of the fresh bruises and tried not to make a sound. “Good night hyung, I hope that you are okay.” He whispered and I felt like crying. 
 
…
 
I woke up the next morning when I heard the door to the hotel room open. “Where are you, you fat ?” I heard my manager call and I sprung up from the bed, ignoring the aching pain I was in. Seungri wasn’t awake yet and I cradled my now slightly blue hand to my chest. I bowed to my manager when I came out of the bedroom. “Seungri is here!” I whispered and my manager perked up.
 
“Ah, we wouldn’t want unnecessary ears to here anything would we?” he laughed befo