It's been 2 years now since i've lost him.At first i couldn't believe it i thought we would be together forever! ,maybe the heavens got jealous of us....

My family,my freinds none could comfort me.i ran away because i had it with all the sympathy.They dont understand my loss.Only my parents call me sometimes to check up on me,rest gave up i guess.

Sometimes, sometimes i just want to end it all.the pain is unbearable.But he made me promise that i would hold on and wont do anything stupid.But it hurts so much that it burns.

And then came the anger.Angry at him for leaving me here,making me promise something so stupid because of which i had to live in this lonely world,angry at the people who can laugh,who have never lost anyone.

I drink to forget,his laugh,talks,our promises i wanted to forget everything.That got so bad that one night the bar owner refused to give me anymore drinks,i broke his jaw.How dare he?! i needed it .The incident got me in jail,my parents got me out and made me get psychological help.That also ended after three months.My doctor thinks he cured me,but no i just learned to pretend.

Now..... i just feel numb.I go to work,comeback,eat,sleep..living my life like a robot.Although sometimes the dam brokes down and i cry to sleep sometimes.But you tell me is it still worth to live even when you already forgot how to smile?