I couldn’t sleep at all that night. And it wasn’t because of the guys next door playing video games, but because of what happened earlier.

What if they saw my eyes? I tried to not look at anybody’s face. But they could have looked at them while I wasn’t paying attention… Why was it so much fun? Argh, I’m so tired of this. I shouldn’t have moved here. I shouldn’t have gone to school. I was better at being homeschooled. But that lady had to go and mess things up…

I thought about back then when that lady came back to my and my mother’s life. It was right after my dad passed away, before my eyes could make boys fall in love with me. I knew that if he was still alive, he would have helped me with that incident in middle school.

Anyway, the times I most vividly remember of my father was how much he spoiled me with his love. And the way he took care of me and mom. He was very caring and helped anyone who needed help. My father also came from a wealthy family, but he soon gave everything up to be with my mom. His mother never really liked my mom, but my father didn’t care. He loved her and wanted to be with her. So they moved to the other side of the world to Texas, and started their new life there.

But everything all changed when I was eleven. We were walking to the car after having dinner in an expensive restaurant. My father had planned everything, and even gave my mother a beautiful gold locket with a picture of all us inside.

We finished eating, and we were on our way to our car when a drunk man started walking towards. Nobody thought anything of it, but when I stayed behind to pick up a quarter someone left behind, the drunk man had made his way towards me.

He took a pocket knife out of his jean’s pocket, and aimed at my throat. I remember the looks of fright my parents had, and my dad had to negotiate with the man, and tried taking closer steps to me.

That seemed to make the man even more frustrated, and he pressed the knife closer to my throat. Causing my dad to stop moving. It came to the man asking my dad to give up his wallet for my life. The drunk man asked my dad to drop his wallet on the floor, and kick it to over where he was, which my dad eagerly did.

I started to cry while all of this was happening, and I saw my mother crying too. She was shaken really badly, and I saw the look of desperation on my father’s face.

Once the wallet was close to the man, he let me go and pushed me away. My parents instantly came to my side. We weren’t paying attention to the drunk, and it was too late. The drunk man had stabbed my father in the back.

He yelled about not having enough money, then left while we watched our father bleed to death. My mom hysterically yelled for help, then called 911. I just stood there, while my father grabbed my mother’s hand and cupped my face with the other.

He gave me a small smile, before breathing his last breath.

I could never shake off the image of watching my mother wail for him to stay awake. To come back to him, and open his eyes.

I closed my eyes, and felt tears rolling down my cheeks. It’s been so long thinking of the death of my dad. If only I didn’t stay back, but would it have made a difference?

After a year, I turned twelve and the whole fiasco happened. My mother decided it would have been better to homeschool me. I agreed, and that’s how I was homeschooled for two years. But after those two years, my grandma from my father’s side decided to call us one day.

My father’s mother was the owner and principal of the school that I attend now. The high school that she owned was one of the most prestigious schools and she grew connections with many powerful people.

  She had to blackmail my mother and me saying that she would ruin my mother’s chances of ever getting a job, if my mother didn’t let me attend her school for my sophomore year. She heard of what happened in my second to last year of middle school, and didn’t want her granddaughter to ruin her reputation.

My mother had no choice but to comply and sent me to this school. We did put some conditions, for example, only having female teachers to which my grandmother agreed.

My grandmother paid for my ticket and she pays for this apartment. She told me she would pay for this apartment until I graduated, then she would give me some time to look for a job then cut me off.

She also gave me a credit card to pay for my groceries. It was the card I used to pay for Taehyung’s stud also. I tend to try not to use it unless I have to because it feels like my grandmother would use it against me one day.

My mother right now is trying her best to work and make enough money to come and live with me. My grandmother (but my mother and I refer her to as “that lady”) only paid everything for me, and didn’t want my mother to come with me.

It was very hard for me to leave her all alone. But she had to fight me with all nails and bone