From: Taehyung

To: Jungkook

Jimin won second place but hes def the first in my heart xoxo

Jungkook grinned at the message as he fished his pocket for the keys in the house. He glanced at where Taehyung’s house is and noticed that the lights in his room are still closed. He’s probably not home yet.

He felt the keys in his pocket and took them out to unlock the door, he was greeted by dead silence inside as he turned the lights on. He murmured a soft ‘I’m home’ out of habit even though he clearly knew no one would hear him.

He took off his shoes, placed them on the shoe rack, and stepped inside.  

The amount of times he arrived home in dead silence is way too many to remember. Especially when his brother started college. His parents are both too occupied with their work and his brother is staying in a dorm, so there’s really no one to greet him home. Sometimes he would go straight to Taehyung’s place, and he could feel a pang of jealousy whenever the latter’s mother would greet them with warm smile and warm bread waiting for them.

(This may happen a lot but he’s definitely not used to this. Sometimes he missed his mother, sometimes he missed his father, and sometimes he missed his brother.)

The boy went straight to his room and turned his computer on. He opened the browser, typed in Facebook’s address, and his homepage loaded. He scrolled down for a few seconds, ignoring some updates from his classmates. He saw Taehyung uploaded a selfie with Jimin. With Jimin holding up a medal. The photo has the caption, ‘Congrats, Jiminie!!!”. He clicked like and scrolled down.

He immediately stopped scrolling when he saw an update from Seokjin.

And Jungkook stared at the screen for good ten minutes without any movements. He remembered there were times in school when he tried so hard not to make any unnecessary movements just so his math teacher wouldn’t call him for a recitation and he’s thankful he’s good at it.

What?

-x-

There is a list of things that are okay, things that are not okay, and things that are just plain nope. Things that are okay includes Seokjin posting a new selca, one of things that are not okay includes Seokjin posting a sad status update, and one of the things that are just plain nope was that conversation in that certain status update that Jeon Jungkook saw last night. He kind of agreed with that Kim Namjoon guy, he didn’t need to see that.

He doesn’t want to jump to any conclusions but he’d caught his brother watching and cracking dirty jokes to know what rough meant in Yoongi’s comment, Jungkook wished so bad he didn’t know what that meant.

And don’t get him started with the babe. Who calls their friends babe? Definitely not Jungkook, or Taehyung, or Jimin, or Eunseo, or Taewon (and he realized that his friends can be counted with his ten fingers).

And holy  he felt like he just took a bath with freezing water because he can’t feel his fingers. He couldn’t feel his brain making any intelligible thoughts either so maybe it’s a good enough reason to skip school for today.

Just as he was about to go back to sleep, the door to his room opened, revealing his angry mother with a toothbrush in .

“Jeon Jungkook why are you still lying there? Get up, young man.”

“No, mom. I’m not feeling well.” He whined as he rolled in his bed. He covered himself in his blanket and rolled again so he can be a human version of a burrito in an attempt to hide from his responsibilities.

He could hear his mother’s footsteps getting closer and felt her hand as she pulled the blanket off him, “Are you sure? You’re not making any excuses just because you’re lazy?”

“No. I’m serious, mom. I can’t even feel my fingers and my chest feels tight.”

“Oh. Alright then. You know where the medicines are, right? I need to go to work.”

“Yeah. I know.”

“Okay.” His mother leaned in to press a kiss on his forehead before she left the room, closing the door gently.

 Just as he heard the door shut, he turned his head to the closet in the corner of his room and  he doesn’t want to think about it but maybe he really doesn’t stand a chance with Seokjin. What was he thinking? He couldn’t believe he needed to know that Seokjin is dating someone before he knocked himself with the universal truth.

And as if it was a slap from the hard reality, he remembered how Seokjin never really took his things in this house. His extra pair of clothes are still in Jungkook’s closet, his toothbrush is still in the cabinet in the bathroom, his special chopsticks are still in the kitchen, and his Super Mario mug is still in the kitchen too. All of his things were left untouched, they’re still in the same place to where Seokjin last touched almost two years ago. The young boy just never had the heart to even move them, let alone touch them because he was scared that if he did those, the things will just vanish in front of him. That maybe Seokjin isn’t even real, just a part of his imagination.

He bit his lower lip in frustration and felt his cheeks getting wet. , he’s crying and he felt pathetic. He fell so hard for Seokjin and now he couldn’t even escape, he fell right into Seokjin’s sweet and smooth voice. He fell right into Seokjin’s lullabies, encouraging words, smiles, caring touches, and everything that is Seokjin. He fell right in the middle and Seokjin is nothing but a trap. Someone that was made to made him miserable and pathetic, someone to make him miss out on a lot of things that people his age should be experiencing. He wanted to grow up so fast to catch up to someone he could never catch up to. Not with the intimidating five years . It’s too big that no matter how hard he run, no matter how many times he fell or stumble and wound himself in the process, nothing will happen. He’ll just run in circles, chasing after a boy who will never run after him too or even stop to wait for him. No, Seokjin would just continue to walk, away from Jungkook to chase his dreams. To chase adulthood that Jungkook tried so hard to get himself into just so he could run after Seokjin.

 He felt miserable and he couldn’t stop crying. He didn’t stop when he heard his mom yell that she’s going to work. He didn’t stop when he heard his mother’s car leaving. He didn’t stop. He cried out all his frustrations, anger, and jealousy. God, how much he hated himself right now. He even skipped school because he’s an emotional wreck.

He didn’t know how long he stayed in the bed and cried when he heard the doorbell. He got up, wiped his tears in confusion because who’s that? That couldn’t be a delivery man because he doesn’t remember ordering anything online. So he got up, wore his bunny slippers, and walked towards the living room to open the front door. He probably looked like a mess but it’s not like he needed to look good as of the moment. When he opened the door, he saw Taehyung with an unamused expression. Behind him was Jimin with worry written all over his face.

Taehyung rolled his eyes and turned to Jimin.

“I told you to go to school.”

“I can’t,” Jimin replied, crossing his arms. “I’m thirty minutes late already, what’s the point?”

“Doesn’t matter just go to school, I’ll take care of the brat.”

Jungkook frowned, they’re talking as if he wasn’t in front of them.

Jimin turned his attention back to Jungkook, “Your mom said you’re not feeling well so you skipped school. I can’t trust Taehyung to watch you.”

“I’m fine. You two can go to school.”

“Well, I’m not going.” Taehyung said, leaving no room for objection with the tone of his voice. He pushed his way inside Jungkook’s house.

Jimin let out a sigh of defeat, “Fine. Kookie, make sure you text me if he does anything weird.”

“I’m not a child.” Jungkook argued but all he got was a shrug and a ruffle in the hair by Jimin before the older male walked away.

Taehyung was already in the kitchen. “Ooh, your mom made waffles! Can I have some?”

The younger boy clicked his tongue as he made his way closer to Taehyung, “In one condition.”

Taehyung already stuffed his mouth with the waffle when he turned his head to Jungkook, he raised an eyebrow.

The urge to bang his head on the table is a tempting thought to Jungkook at the moment when he watched Taehyung swallow the waffle, “Scratch that. You have to tell me the truth no matter what or I’m telling Jimin-hyung that one time you—“

Taehyung’s eyes widened, “Fine! Fine! Don’t say it.”

“Good.” He said, he swallowed his pride as he said his next words. He really needed a confirmation or else he would just be assuming the worst possible scenarios and he doesn’t really want to torture himself like that. “Is Jin-hyung dating someone?”

Taehyung visibly froze, “I’m gonna need another waffle for that.”

“Fine.”

He watched as the older male took another waffle to his mouth. “Yeah.”

The younger boy ignored the sharp pain in his chest, “With that Yoongi guy?”

“Sorry, that information is locked. In order to unlock it you need to accompany me later to the dentist to have my braces removed.”

Jungkook hated going to the dentist, he’d always thought the office smelled weird. “Fine. You’re not playing fair. You just need to say yes or no.”

“Okay.” Taehyung grinned, “Yeah, the Yoongi guy.”

“How long?”

He could hear Taehyung groan as he looked away, he looked guilty. At least he had the decency to look guilty. Everyone is hiding information from Jungkook and it pissed him off so good, he looked guilty.

“For uh,” Taehyung thought about it for a moment. “About a year now, I guess.”

Jungkook’s stomach dropped as he stared at Taehyung with a look that screamed  you.

“Hey!” The older male defended himself, “Don’t give me that look! He told me not to tell you.”

“Again?”

“What do you mean again?”

“I don’t have the right to know what’s happening in his life, apparently? First was him moving to Seoul and now… this?”

“Why does it matter to you? It’s not like you’re going to die if you don’t know that Jin-hyung is dating someone, right?”

That was a valid point and it caused more pain to Jungkook that he had to bite his lower lip to stop himself from crying right there. He never felt what heartbreak feels like, all he knew is that it would hurt a lot that you wished you just got punched on the face. And if this is what heartbreak feels like then he would rather get kicked in the balls.

“You’re right. It doesn’t matter.” He said and he felt betrayed when his voice cracked. “I don’t mean a after all, I’m just a kid. I don’t matter.” His voice is already shaking at this point and he would rather get swallowed by the ground than to cry in front of Taehyung, the brother of the cause of his frustrations.

He should have begged Jimin to stay with him. He’d talk to anyone but not Taehyung. Anyone but him.

He heard Taehyung curse as he felt himself getting dragged out of the kitchen and to the living room. The older male pushed him down on the couch and took a sit next to him. “We should talk.”

“No.” Jungkook shook his head, “I’m stupid.”

“No.” Taehyung said, “You’re not.”

“Just leave me be. I’ll still accompany you to the dentist later.”

“I’m not leaving, mom thought I’m in school.”

“Seriously?”

“When I found out you’re going to skip school today because you’re not feeling well, I got really worried that going to school will be pointless. It’s like my little brother got run over by a truck or something. I’m not sure how to explain it.”

“You’re dumb.”

“Yeah, I think I am.”

Jungkook stared at his lap, still trying his best not to cry.

“Stop acting like this and tell me what’s wrong. You know what? Jin-hyung will be more worried than me, you have no idea how much you mean to him.”

“You’re lying.”

“No. You’re really important to him it’s crazy.”

The younger boy let out a heavy breath before he became a crying mess. His clutched his chest and he tried so hard to breathe between the hiccups. He felt an arm wrap around his shoulder, pulling him closer to the older male.

“I like him.”

“Jin-hyung?” Taehyung asked as he rubbed comforting circles on Jungkook’s shoulder with his finger, “How much?”

“A lot. I like him a lot.”

“Is it like, how I like Jimin?”

“Yeah.” He wiped his eyes in frustration with his hand, “Why does it have to be him? I hate this. I feel so confused about everything. I don’t know why I feel like this. I hate this.”

He heard Taehyung exhale as he pulled the younger closer to him, “Damn it. You have no idea.”

-x-

The visit to the dentist was slightly awkward in Jungkook’s part because of his puffy eyes so he was getting weird stares from the other patients. He cried his eyes out for at least an hour before Taehyung offered him a glass of water because he’s sure the younger’s throat is dry as a dessert already from all the sobbing that he made.

It felt weird that he feels a lot better after letting his feelings out. He was honestly reluctant to tell Taehyung about it because he’s Seokjin’s brother, so his feelings might rub him off the wrong way. He was thankful that Taehyung just listened to him, sometimes he made side comments that would make the younger smile while still looking like a crying mess.

So he’s currently sitting in the dentist’s office while the assistant is seating behind the desk, playing a weird chick flick film. His face looked bloated and his eyes are red, but Taehyung can’t go to the dentist alone for some unholy reason and Jungkook was sure he doesn’t need to find out.

The assistant behind the desk turned his head to Jungkook and the younger accidentally stared back. The male raised his eyebrow, “Are you okay?”

“Uh,” Jungkook turned his head away, he should have worn a mask. “Yeah. Thanks.”

“Okay.” He said, “Sorry, I just really hate this film but the dentist likes it a lot.”

“Yeah.”

“Want me to play another movie? Just so I have a reason to change it. I could tell him you wanted to watch a different movie.”

“Oh. Do you have the latest Iron Man?”

The assistant held back his laughter as looked at his laptop. “Yeah, I think I have it here. Oh wait, found it.”

And the young boy felt a bit better while watching Iron Man.

After half an hour or so, a cheerful Taehyung came out. He grinned like a mad dog but his teeth are straight and he’s wearing a retainer.

The dentist soon followed out and frowned when he saw what was playing on the television. The assistant shrugged and said that Jungkook wanted to watch Iron Man so he changed it.

“How long are you going to wear that?” Jungkook asked as they got out of the clinic.

“Uh, I think a year? Or two?”

“Oh. Okay.”

“How do I look?”

“Weird.”

“Figured.” A pause, “Let’s pick up Jimin at school, I want to eat something too.”

“Hyung, I look like .”

“Your point?”

“I want to go home?”

“You look fine.” Taehyung rolled his eyes and dragged the younger to the direction of the high school. It was only a short walk from the clinic but it felt like he walked for thirty minutes because Jungkook’s legs felt like some kind of a jelly.

They waited outside the main gate. Jungkook stared at the students walking out and talking about how annoying their history teacher is for giving them too much work. A group of girls even waved at Taehyung and cooed at Jungkook. It was weird, these noonas are weird.

Jungkook felt like a lost child in the middle of an adult street as he clung to Taehyung’s shirt like his life depended on it. Taehyung is even wearing his uniform, refusing to get changed or else his mom will know.

Soon, Jimin came into the view and Taehyung’s face lit up. He waved his hand to get Jimin’s attention but Jimin was looking down. He passed by the two of them without even looking up and Taehyung had to grab his arm to let their presence known.

“Jimin.” Taehyung said.

Jimin looked up and his eyes widened when he saw who was waiting for them, “Hey, I thought Jungkook is sick? What are you two doing here?”

“He’s not sick. He was just making excuses because he doesn’t want to go to school.” Taehyung answered.

Jungkook pinched Taehyung’s side but it’s better than telling Jimin that he skipped school because he realized how much he liked Seokjin.

“Oh. I see…” Jimin murmured. It looked like he was about to say something else but he bit his lip to prevent it. Taehyung noticed it and raised his eyebrow in confusion.

“What’s wrong?”

“You didn’t tell me.” Jimin murmured.

“Didn’t tell what?”

Jungkook panicked. This doesn’t sound good at all. He thought that maybe he should casually walk away because this is definitely none of his business but as he was about to leave, he felt Taehyung’s strong grip on his wrist and he figured he couldn’t leave.

“About the rumors. That… you know what I mean. How can you keep something like that from me? Don’t I have the right to know that people think I’m a horrible gay son who turned his back to his parents?”

“Who the said that?” Taehyung hissed and he gripped Jungkook’s wrist tighter.

Jungkook flinched and tried to get his wrist away from Taehyung grip but he’s not getting any luck.

“Do you really need to know who? What the , Taehyung? We’re in this together, right? Why didn’t you tell me anything?”

Holy , people are already looking at them right now and Jungkook really needs to leave. He doesn’t want his face to be on the newspaper or something in case Taehyung stabs a stranger.

“Because you’re already stressed as it is! I don’t want you to be affected by those!” Taehyung yelled and Jungkook flinched for the second time.

Jimin turned to Jungkook and frowned, “Taehyung, you’re hurting Jungkook. Let him go.”

“It’s Minho isn’t it.” Taehyung said but he let go of Jungkook nonetheless. Jungkook rubbed his wrist and red marks were forming already. Jimin looked at him in apology.

“Whoever told me is none of your business, Taehyung.”

“It has to be him. This is why I don’t trust that .”

“Watch your mouth.”

“No! no, you’re defending him now? He was hitting on you!”

“We’re friends!”

“That bastard.” Taehyung clenched his fist, “I’m going to break his nose.”

Jungkook stepped back and Jimin grabbed Taehyung’s arm, “Let’s not talk here.”

“We’re going home after I see Minho, is he still here?”

“Tae—No!” Jimin yelled as Taehyung made an attempt to enter the campus to search for the guy. Jungkook held Taehyung’s arm in instinct to help Jimin stop him. They both knew how violent Taehyung could be if he’s angry and it’s going to take the two of them to stop him.

The crowd grew bigger and a guy was pushed to their direction, looking conflicted and insulted at the same time.

The angry male gritted his teeth as soon as the other male made an appearance, and Taehyung was surprisingly quiet for someone who was just yelling few seconds ago. Jungkook could feel the anger from Taehyung as he gripped his arm a bit tighter. Taehyung struggled and made an attempt to move closer to the guy—probably Minho but failed. Another attempt was made and this time Jimin was pushed away a bit roughly but thankfully he didn’t fell on the ground. Jungkook was still holding him.

“Hyung, calm down. Punching him won’t do good.” He murmured, hoping that Taehyung will hear him.

“No, I’m ing frustrated and angry I need to punch his goddamn face.”

The guy- Minho raised both of his hands up to his chest, “What’s with the look, Taetae?” He asked in a mocking tone and Jungkook felt like he wanted to punch him too.

“You—You don’t know when to mind your own business, do you?!” Taehyung barked, “You ing —“ He struggled again and pushed Jungkook to the side. He ran to the guy, swung his fist, and everything was in sudden slow motion. Jimin ran after him and grabbed Minho as the male tried to swing his fist too and at the same time, Jungkook ran after Taehyung to stop him.

The younger boy was a second late because Taehyung was already close to punching Minho and his elbow hit him on the nose—hard, enough to push him back for the second time and fall to his . He felt a sharp pang of pain on his nose and felt something dripping from it. He hissed in pain when he covered his noise with his palm and saw that it’s bleeding.

Jungkook looked up and saw that Taehyung was only able to land his fist on Minho’s cheek, thanks to Jimin but as soon as the short male glanced to Jungkook, his face turned into something that is mixed between panic and guilt.

“Taehyung! Stop! ! Stop!” He yelled and rushed over to where Jungkook landed.

And everything was blurry. People are panicking, teachers are rushing towards them, and Minho was yelling nonsense. Taehyung rushed to him as apologies flowed through his mouth, he looked like he was about to cry.

“Oh god, oh my god, oh my god,” Taehyung said. Jimin glared at Taehyung and lifted Jungkook on his back.

“We’re going home.” He said as he walked away from the crowd as fast as he could with Jungkook on his back.   

Taehyung soon followed them, avoiding to get caught by the teachers who is now yelling at them to get back.

God. Jungkook is sad, heartbroken, angry, jealous, and now his nose is broken.

-x-

The couple was quiet when they arrived at Jungkook’s place. Jimin volunteered to do the first aid to Jungkook because Taehyung never paid attention to their first aid class before.

“Stop touching it like that!” Jimin sighed as he lightly slapped Jungkook’s hand away from his nose.

Jungkook hissed in pain, “I was just making sure I still have a nose.”

“Sorry.” Taehyung murmured from his side, his eyes are already red.

“You need to control your temper, Taehyung.” Jimin said not even glancing at Taehyung.

“I can’t help it!”

“Why?”

“I’m jealous!”

Jimin rolled his eyes so hard Jungkook thought it would be stuck. “I’m going home today.”

Taehyung blinked, “What?”

“I’m going home. To my parents.”

“They kicked you out.”

“I know but I need to fix this issue. Let them know I’m healthy and all. I just can’t run away from them. I need to fix this.”

Taehyung crawled next to Jimin and grabbed his arm, “Look at me. Your father was hitting you back there. I can’t stand seeing your arms and legs with bruises, I ing hate it. And I hate him too. You sure you want to go back there?”

Jimin stopped aiding Jungkook’s bleeding nose and turned to look at Taehyung with a desperate look, “I hate it too but they’re still my parents.”

The young boy listened to them bicker as his nose continued to bleed. It hurts, ing damn it. What if his nose got dislocated or some ? ing Taehyung he swore to .

He doesn’t know if his day could get any worse. With the three of them sitting on the floor in the middle of the living room. His nose is bleeding and the lovebirds are quarrelling. His nose hurts and he could feel that his head is starting to hurt too from all the yelling. He closed his eyes in frustrations.

He doesn’t know if this day could really get any worse as he heard someone ring the doorbell. The couple stopped and stared at the door. That couldn’t be Jungkook’s parents, right?

“I didn’t lock the door.” Taehyung murmured.

As if on cue, the person behind the door said “oh? The door isn’t locked?” And holy that voice. That ing voice sounded way too familiar thatcan’t be him. But Jungkook can recognize that voice anywhere and holy no.

“I’m coming in.” The person said and the door swung open, revealing Seokjin in his full glory (with an unfamiliar short guy behind him with an oversized hoodie, that must be Yoongi).

Seokjin froze as his gaze went to Jungkook to Taeyung to Jimin and back to Jungkook.

“What happened?”