‘‘THE WAY TO LOVE ANYTHING IS TO REALIZE

THAT IT MAY BE LOST’’

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STILL JONGHYUNS FLASHBACK…

 

“Jonghyun, come back to us please!”

“Jonghyun, if you listen to your hyungs now, please…”

I hear some people voice around me. Every seconds their voices are getting louder. I finally recognize those voice. They are Kyuhyun hyung and Changmin hyung. What had happened? Why are their voice sound panick?

“Hyung…” Finally I can let out a word from my mouth.

“Jonghyun!!! We’re glad you’re back saeng.” The next thing I know is they already hug me tightly.

“What happened hyung? Yoona?” Changmin hyung and Kyuhyun yung didn’t answer my question.

I look around and found out that my this place is messy. Blood was scattered everywhere, include my hands and my body. But that’s not my blood, I can feel it that I don’t have any wound. Who?

Something caught my attention. Someone is lying in the ground and I stepped on it. This is Oguri?

His condition was terrible. Blood covered his body and his legs and hands twisted wrongly. The worst was his neck…

“I lost myself again? Did I kill him?” for the second time my Kyuline brothers hesitate to give me some answer. I take that as a yes. Everytime I was overwhelmed by anger, my dark side burst out. I will be a cold-blooded monster who destroy everything in front of me. Unfortunately this time I lost control again.

“Sorry Jonghyun, we were late. It’s already two hours since you killed him. But don’t worry, Yoona is safe.” Kyuhyun hyung hug me again. Yoona is safe now, it’s enough for me. Her safety is the most important now.

“Kaja, Akira-san called all of us. We have to go now. I’ll ask someone to take care this mess.” Changmin hyung drag me out from this place.

Fortunately, this place has secured by our guard so that no one can step a foot in my fight. And they will clean everything for me. Leaving no evidence, no witness and no track. It’s always like that.

*********

Kyuhyun hyung, Changmin hyung and I finally arrived at Akira-san house. I don’t know why Akira-san called us. If it’s to celebrate our victory, I’m not in the mood to do that. Especially after what had happened before, after with my own hands I brutally killed Shun Oguri!

“Jonghyun…let’s go! Akira-san waiting for us inside…”

I follow my hyungs to Akira-san house, we usually gather here for some occasion.

“The hero has come! Great job Aoi-kun” I was welcomed by triple hug from Kenta nii-san, Ryo-kun and Hiro nii-san.

“Good job with Oguri guy!” Masahiro-san and Takeru onii-san give me a high five.

“Let him take some rest first you stupids!” Although there are so many men in this room, but no one stand against the almighty Keiko onee-san. She smacked their head one by one.

“Jonghyun, Akira is waiting for you in his room.”

Out from nowhere, Shirota nii-san appeared in front of me. He is really something. I’m looking around and found that Emi-chan and Maki-san are making some drinks for us in the kitchen, while the boys are laying in the couch, floor or anywhere they want. I’m sure they are tired too after the fight before.

Beside Kyuline, they are people who get along very well with me and immune to my cold act. As I said we are not that close, but we share the same experienced. We ever lost people who are important to us. That’s why we want more strength so that we can protect everything precious to us.

“Okay Shirota nii-san.”

I walk to the door in the left. Akira-san is sitting in his chair while reading… maybe some report papers.

“Finally you’re here. Take a sit.”

“Thank you Akira-san.”

“Listen, I got some report before. There are other clans who accept the quest to find this girl. There will be many more who will chase her in the future. And we don’t have time to fight them one by one. You’re lucky all of us is here this time..” He handed over me some papers of report.

“Go on onii-san. What’s the main point?” Akira-san look straight to my eyes.

“You have two choice to solve this problem. First, send her abroad. To a place where they can’t reach her. We can’t let the whole Japan in chaos because of a girl!”

“I can’t, onii-san. The instruction from my parent was clear, I have to protect her by myself. What’s the second option?”

“You’re really hard to convince. The first choice is the easiest. This girl seriously very important to you. ”

I staring at Akira-san with undisputable determination in my eyes. For now, I want to be selfish and keeping Yoona by my side.

“Okay, whatever do you want. But remember this, they know she is in Kyoto but they don’t know that she is under your protection. We have to tell the world, why they shouldn’t dare to touch her. Do you remember what did we do with Takeru problem two years ago?”

“Onii-san, what do you mean? Don’t tell me…”

I can guess what will he said but that’s totally crazy. It’s like we tell the world about a prey whereabouts and invite the predators to come.

“Bring her to your family party tomorrow! Announce to the world that she is officially belongs to you or we should say you owned her. To secure her, we need to make them feel feared or scared to approach her.”

I realize that Akira-san is right. The whole Japan will chase her because we’re not officially settled her status. I hide Yoona for this past several days but now I have no other choice. Everyone should know that she is under the protection of Lee and Murakami family. …the words owned or belongs…are too much. Why people tend to misunderstand about my relation with Yoona? We are just bestfriend! DEG!!!

“Fine, I’ll take the second option. I’ll ask Otou-san to announce her status in our family.”

“Aoi-kun…you’re really clueless about this kind of things. It’s not only about people who chase her for killing or kidnapping her for her uncle. Don’t you know how many people out there that want to take advantage of her status as the heir of Im? You have to eliminate people who just want to use her. I’m concern about her because I know she is special to you and don’t try to deny that!” I’ve ever thought about that too but…

“She just lost her fiancé. It’s not appropriate if she involve in that several days after the death of her fiancé.”

“Whatever. We just prevent you from something you might regret in the future.” Akira-san deeply sighed, followed by Changmin hyung and Kyuhyun hyung. What’s wrong with them?

*********

“Yoona  and our dongsaengs will come home soon.” I tell my hyungs as soon as we arrived at my house.

“It’s better to clean ourselves before Yoona see our condition now.” Changmin hyung is right, we have to do it faster before they come and Yoona will be suspicious with us.

“Shiitt!!! My left temple injured, Changmin-ah your hand too! Don’t let Yoona see that.”

“If they come, tell them I already sleep.” Then I’m going to my room, leaving hyungs.

I need to clear my mind now. So much had happened today and tomorrow will be more hard than this day.

I hear cars sounds from outside when I take a bath. They have come home. I miss Yoona because we rarely meet for this past two days, but I can’t see her now. If  meet her…and she see my eyes now…she will know for sure that I just killed someone to protect her. Sometimes, I hope that she can’t read my mind. If I think about that again, Yoona is my bestfriend like my Kyuline brothers. But why we can read each others mind so clearly like that? It’s not like Kyuline can’t do that too, but…not as intense as the way Yoona and I do. Maybe because Yoona is the only girl friend that I have so that she has the ability. But do the girl friend of other men outside there can do the same thing like Yoona?

I almost fall asleep when suddenly the light is off and I hear thunderous sounds outside. Oh, it’s raining outside? Good weather to sleep. Wait…wait…Raining…Thunder….YOONA!!!

How could I forgot that? Pabbo Jonghyun!

I run to her room as fast as I can. When I passed the living room, Jiyeon called me.

“Onii-chan, wait!”

I immediately stop and turn around to her.

“Okaa-san called me before. She said you will come along to the party with Yoona.”

“Yes?” Jiyeon a bit hesitate to say the next words.

“Uhmm, since onee-chan come along with you, Okaa-san ask me to bring someone along with me too… Uhmm that’s why…” I know what will she say, but now I’m in a rush. So I cut her before she say furthermore.

“Listen Ai, I need to see Yoona in her room now! We’ll talk about this tomorrow, I promise.”

“Okay onii-chan! By the way why do you have to see Yoona onee-chan now? I guess she already sleep now.”

“No, I know that She can’t sleep now. I need to go now.”

I’m just take one step when Kyuhyun hyung called me.

“Jonghyun, Why can’t she sleep?”

“Because it’s raining and thundering outside.”

“Why if it is raining and thundering outside? Noona is in her room, not outside there.” Once again, someone make me stop. This time it’s Minho.

“Because since she was four she always afraid of rain and thunder. More over when the light is off like now.”

“How did you know? Noona never told me…her friend about that!”

“Since she was four? Jonghyun, what do you mean?”

“Jonghyun hyung!!! Wear your shirt first!!!”

I ignore them and then I run again, although I still hear that they shouting at me from the living room.

When I open the door in her room, I hear crying sounds. I approach her and when touch her back, I realize that she is trembling and tears running down from her eyes now. She tried to close her ears so that she can’t hear the thunder sounds, although its useless. What should I do now? Then I remember what always I do to calm her when we were child.

I hug her and her back to sending my warmth to her so that she will not feared aymore. I want her to fell safe, comfort and protected when she was with me.

“Are you alright Yoona-yah? It’s okay, I’m here with you.” I wishper softly in her ears. I can feel that he body is a bit relaxing now.

And to cover her ears from hearing the thunder outside, I sing her a lullabye, her favourite lullabye, the first song I made for her. Long time ago, I used to sing that lullabye to her everynight or everytime she was afraid. I don’t care if I revealed myself as her Jongie, I need to calm her now.

When she was four, Yoona witnessed with her own eyes when someone jump from a building and died. It was raining and thunderous at the time. Since that time, she always afraid of rain and thunder.

Suddenly I feel that she hug me back and lie her head in my chest. I can feel that her breathing become normal. She has stop crying now and didn’t tremble anymore. At the time I know that she slowly fell a sleep.

 “I miss you Jong. Don’t leave me again.”

Maybe she just whispered it unconsciously but I hear it clearly. I smiled widely because I’m very happy. I’ve been waiting for nine years to hear that. Just some words from her and my mood brightening up.

“I miss you too, Yoong. Good night.”  I hope she heard that.

Then I kissed her forehead and we sleep together. I missed our moment like this, the moment when we sleep together, she is in my embrace and we share our warmth to each other like back when we were child.

*********

I was conscious when a loud-high-pitch-noisy voice irritated my ears coming from Jiyeon. It still early in the morning and she annoyed me. Not too long after that I feel something or someone squirming beside me and hug me tighly until I can’t breath properly. I open my eyes immediately and look around me when I found an angel sleep peacefully with her head in lie down my chest.

Yoona? What is she doing here? Oh yeah, this is her room and I sleep here last night.

 I was staring at her face when suddenly she lift her head and look at me. I froze because our face is very close even I can feel her breath. For the first time after nine years I can clearly see her face from close distance like this. Now I realize that my little bestfriend Yoongie has grown into a beautiful woman named Yoona. I’m very thankful that she release her hands from me and turn around. If not, I will loose control and I could kiss her before.

I almost fall asleep again when I heard her screaming several seconds later.

“AAAAHHhhhmmmmmfffftt”

I covered before she screaming louder. Why all girls like to screaming this morning?

“Calm down, it’s still early morning.”

Yoona obediently nod at me, good girl. Now, time to sleep again.

“Jonghyun, wake up and sleep in your room now!” She is screaming…again.

“Aish, this is my house. I can sleep wherever I want.”

“No, go back to your room. I don’t want them to think bad about me because you sleep here with me.” Now she shake my body and I failed to sleep again.

“Let them be, I don’t care. You were enjoy sleeping with me before.” We’ve sleep together so many times before when we wre child, what’s the different now?

 “But I do care Jonghyun and I was unconscious when we slept before. WAKE UP NOW!!!”

I want to protest furthermore when I look at her and found that she is wearing… I speechless now.

SHIITT!!! Yoona look so tempted right now, I cursed that bastard Oguri for giving me the wrong fantasy about my bestfriend.My heart beat faster and I know soon I will loose my mind too. I better get out from this room as fast as I can before something unwanted happen or before I can’t control myself.

Why did she wear that kind of clothes? It’s revealing her skin so much. That clothes is too short, you could see her if she bowed. Not only that, with low necklines, it showed too much her cleavage and almost exposed her…. Aaarrrgghh!!!

All the way to my room I’m looking around to find Jiyeon. It must belong to Jiyeon. I will scold her later for giving Yoona that kind of clothes. IT’S A CLOTES. Fortunately it’s me who saw Yoona wore that, what if another man see that? They will eat her for sure and I hate the idea of her wearing that clothes in front of another man but me.

By the way how could Jiyeon have that clothes in the first place? Did she want to seduce Minho with that? Don’t tell me they’ve done ‘IT’!? They’re surely will dead if they do that. Even Minho has not been formally asks me for dating my sister. I have to talk to them about this soon after I finished Yoona problems. And speaking of Yoona, I haven’t told her that she will going with me to our party tonight…sigh…I’ll ask Jiyeon to tell her later.

*********

“You easily let Jiyeon and Minho dating now? Wow!” Kyuhyun hyung exclaimed.

“We were worried to death all night and it turned out far from our expectation?! Yoona is really amazing!” Changmin hyung shake his head in wonder.

What I’ve done before? If only I know what happened to me. At first I want to scold Minho and Jiyeon hardly, but when I saw how badly Yoona want me to bless their relationship, I don’t have the heart to break her hope.

“Stop talking nonsense hyungs, we have many things to do before the party tonight.”

 “We are serious Jonghyun, Yoona change you a lot. Don’t you feel that? If you can then you surely know why all of us amazed by her.” Kyuhyun hyung patted my head like I’m

Now, I’m a little used to hear them wondering around about me and Yoona. It’s useless to convince them that we are only bestfriend. And I don’t want to tell them yet, about Jongie and Yoongie.

But I know hyungs are right, little by little I realized that Yoona made me back to my oldself and  I like this feeling.

After the session with Minho and Jiyeon, Kyuline have some stressful hours of preparation of the party, include the arrange of security team not only in the hotel, but all around Kyoto, while Jiyeon will handle Yoona for only girls know what are they doing now. Tonight our family party will be the center of attention from all eyes in Japan. Every important people from different field will come include the all the big boss from underground world.

I myself have to prepared myself because not only Yoona who we will settled her status tonight, but Jiyeon and I too. For the first time we will be introduced officially as the her of Lee and Murakami. Nervous, of course. This is not the world I want to choose, especially with Yoona that is by my side now. But I don’t have any choice, for the first time after Yoona come back to my life I didn’t regret being in this world. I gained all the strength I need from this  cruel world to protect her.

But all the tense and rough day become lighter because of Yoona. It’s fun to watch how she fight hardly with Jiyeons private stylish. Never like to wear the the girly things, that side of Yoona didn’t change at all. But Jiyeon and her private stylish effort was worth enough. Yoona is stunningly beautifull in Kimono. Unconsciously, I amazed by her anjelic look. I feel proud for being her bestfriend. Especially when I hold her hands and we walk along the way to the hotel hall, meanwhile the flashes of camera followed every step of us. I’m sure most of men are envy with me now.

I introduced her to all my colleagues, but of course as the friend of our family and she is under our family protection, although Akira-san and the hyungs looked not satisfied with my statement and shaking heads too much.

After awhile, I glanced at Yoona and she look tired now, so I decide to find a seat for her and take some drinks or food for her, you know, considering her big appetite, I guess she is hungry now.

“Wow Aoi-kun, awesome party and we’re happy because finally we saw soon-our-sister-in-law. Right girls?” Keiko onee-san voice make me immediately stop in my spot. She come together with Emi-chan and Maki-san.

“Onee-san, how many time I’ve told you, she is just my family friend and we are considering each other as a friend and that’s all.”

“Really, hmmm… but it’s the opposite from what’ve we seen before. She was so clingy on you, even she gave your fangirls a deathly stare. She definitely has crush on you…” Maki-san successfully make me stunned, why did she conclude that far about Yoona? They even never meet face to face yet!

“Maki-san stop it! That’s very impossible.”

“Do you want a proof? Just see what will we do and if she get jealous, then you owe us Aoi-kun…..” Before I could react, Keiko nee-san called someone behind me.

“Onii-chan, there you are. I’m looking for you…”

But Emi-chan cut her words before she could she could say furthermore.

“Ai-chan, we need you help.” Then Emi-chan whisper something to Jiyeon and all of them smirk mischievously at me.

The next minute, Keiko onee-san, Emi-chan and Maki-san gesture is different from before. They laugh, they wink even try to hug me or touch me and the other kind of… you know….flirting.

“Girls, what are you doing? I don’t want to die now, your boyfriends will kill me after this party.”

“Don’t worry… they know about this. In count of five, Yoona will come.” What do you mean onee-san? I look them in disbelief? How come their boyfriends let them to flirt with another man. Are they insane?

But my attention shifted immediately when I feel that someone grab my hands. But I know who owns this hand. I turn around and found Yoona with undescribeable face. Even she didn’t bother to greet Keiko onee-san, Emi-chan and Maki-san.

“Jonghyun-yah, Ai-chan looking for you. She said your parent already here.” Somehow, She sounds...mad? Jealous?

After that Yoona drag me away from the girls, but they just give me meaningfull smile and mouthed see-we-were-right. But somehow, I like the idea of Yoona feel jealous over me…Stop thinking nonsense Jonghyun!!!

“Onii-chan!!! Come on, they are waiting for us. And you come with us too, onee-chan. You’ll be Jonghyun girlfriend for tonight.”

“WHAAATTT???” Yoona and I exclaimed together.

“Okaa-san will be mad if you don’t introduce any girlfriend to her tonight, onii-chan. Believe me Yoona onee-chan, you don’t want to see the wrath of our parent. It’s hundreds times more wost than Jonghyun. So, be a life safer for my onii-chan tonight.” She treathened Yoona. I want to scold Jiyeon bt not in front of many people like this.

Everyone have gathered arrounf my parent, but when my mother saw Yoona, she can’t hide her excitement. My mother immediately hug Yoona.

But When I look at Yoona, her face is pale and she stunned for something. I follow her gaze and found that she stare at my mothers pendant. Maybe she just shocked because she found another person who have the same pendant like her. But why did her face look like she hold a big pain in her heart? When she said that she is not used to this kind of party, I didn’t buy her lame reason. There is definitely something wrong that bothering her.

Finally she follow my mother to take a seat and and they are talking together. I’m talking with father about everything that happened during his absence several past days before. But my eyes never leave from Yoona. Her face become more paler than before. I look at her eyes, Yoona is holding her tears now and she can’t breath properly. She looks awfully suffering right now. It’s heartbreaking to see her like that. What’s going on? What is my mother talking to her?

I can’t stand anymore and approach her right after my mother went to greet some of our colleagues.

“Yoona?”

“Huh?” She looks startled when I patted her shoulder. Her mind is somewhere else now.

“You look pale. Let’s go home.” And now she is more paler than one second before.

“Are you sick Yoona?” Out from nowhere, Changmin hyung appear beside me and Yoona.

“I just tired. Woud you drive me home Changmin Oppa?” Hyung? Why? I’m the one who asked first, is she ignoring me now? I don’t care if ayone ignoring me , because I will do the same to them. But Yoona…my heart will ache everytime she do that and that what’s exactly I’m feeling now.

Changmin hyung look at me with a big question mark in his face. He don’t know what he has to do now.

 “This party is for Jonghyun and Ai-chan. So, I can’t let Jonghyun sent me home.” Oh, so that’s the problem why she ask Changmin hyung than me?

“I can cancel this whole party. Appa and Eomma will agree with me.”

Both of them seem surprised. But for me, this party means nothing compared to Yoona.

 “NO JONGHYUN-SSI. This time let Changmin oppa drive me home.”

Jonghyun-ssi? Did she just said jonghyun-ssi? JONGHYUN-SSI?!

“Okay, I’ll drive Yoona now. She is right Jonghyun, this is your party. You can’t leave.”

Changmin hyung whisper to me and promised that he will guard Yoona. We have placed our guard all around Kyoto, so he thinks it will be alright. I know beside Minho he is the strongest in our group. I nodded in agreement.

After Yoona left, I told my parent that she is sick and need to rest now.

I can’t concentrate, I didn’t pay attention during the party, even I don’t care about this party anymore.

What’s made Yoona angry at me? She look at me with disappointed face.

Jonghyun-ssi…the word continually humming in my head.

 I HATE when she called me like that! I HATE this feeling!

It’s hurt so much when your bestfriend called you like that. And I’m sure everyone ever felt like this, so someone please tell me now how to ease this pain!!!

No, they can’t help me. This kind of pain is different…something strange… but strong enough to destroy me. Why my heart ache so much?

“Hyung…Jonghyun hyung!”

Suddenly Joonmyun stood infront of me and shaking my shoulders.

“Are you alright hyung? Changmin hyung want to talk with you now.”

I take his phone when suddenly a loud screaming come from it.

“LEE JONGHYUN!!! WE ARE IN THE PARK NEAR KAMOGAWA RIVER. COME HERE NOW!!!” Changmin hyung voice sounds panicking now.

“What happened hyung?”

“I beat half of them but some of them through out from me. They are going to Yoona now.”

I leave the party as soon as Changmin hyung finished talking. I leave Joonmyun to take care everything behind. I don’t have time to explain to them, but the know something wrong is happening now. I can’t think anything else than Yoona now.

I speed up my car, hopefully I can come to her in time. I don’t know how many cars from our guards that following me now, but I hope it’s enough to overwhelmed the people who chasing Yoona now.

The memory when we were child is still clear in my mind. How badly Yoona injured, how I almost lost her. I lost my soul at the time when her eyes closed and she didn’t wake up anymore although I called her so many times.

After nine years of waiting, I can’t loose you again Yoona. I don’t want to experience that painfull feeling twice.

Please…please.. stay safe…Yoongie…Yoongie…Yoona…YOONA

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_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

BACK TO PRESENT…

 

“JONGHYUN WAKE UP!!!”

A ;oud voice and strong hands that’s shaking my body is enough to make my eyes open immediately.

“You told me that you will arouse me before sunset, now look who is the one who had to arouse you!” Yoona pouted her lip as soon as my eyes open but I found that it is so cute.

“Never mind, come on! It’s almost sunset.”

And I obediently follow her. Her cheerful face made me surrender in her wish.

“Jonghyun…kaja…Come and sit here.”

She command me like a big boss, but I don’t protest because I like this moment.mMoment when we are together and enjoying every seconds of it.

“Luckily we are not late. It’s so beautiful…” She mumbled in awe .

“Hmmm” I response her.

We are sitting side by side now while our eyes staring at the amazing sight in front of us.

“Hei Jonghyun, did you get bad dream before?” Out of blue she suddenly ask that question. As usual, Yoona never failed to surprise me. But her eyes didn’t leave the sunset sight.

“How…”

“Your looked suffering and you groaned when you slept before. That’s why I wake up earlier than you. Was the dream so horrible?”

“Just some bad dream from the past.”

“Would you mind to share with me?”

“It’s a flashback memories exactly, when I almost lost my bestfriend nine years ago and I almost lost her again yesterday. I made the same mistake twice…I don’t want to loose her again, I can’t bear the pain for loosing her.” My voice getting husky.

“Ssshhh…It’s alright Jonghyun…you will never loose her again..Never!”

Suddenly Yoona cupped my face with her hands and she leaned her face to my face. Her forehead and her nose touched my forehead and my nose, I can feel her breath. Then she close her eyes. At this moment I know what will she do, what will she said. She used to do that when we were child to ease my nightmare and give me courage.

“Let all nightmares restrain from Jonghyun, let all my good dreams transferred to Jonghyun. This way Jonghyun will experience very warm dreams.” Her voice like a music to me.

After  whispering her magical words, she open her eyes and smilled to me. The next second, she kissed me.

I missed this fluttering feeling, when her sweet lip touch mine. Only Yoongie…only Yoona who can make me feel like this.

Her warmth…her scent…her touch…I missed her so much…

Something strong inside my heart want to burst out and make me reply her kiss.

I know that I have to stop, she is just my bestfriend and we shouldn’t do this. But my heart, my mind and my body told me the opposite.

My heart beat faster and my mind couldn’t think properly again meanwhile my lip craving for her lip.

I hug Yoona and deepen our kiss...

I don’t know what kind of feeling this is, but I can’t deny it anymore.

Not as bestfriend…because this feeling is different from what I feel towards Kyuline.

Nine years of parting made me ralize this feeling…

For all of this time… since we were child until now…with all my heart I treasure her as my life…my soul…

This day…

At sunrise I kissed her…

Now…

At sunset we kissed each other…

Can someone tell me what am I feeling right now?

 

 

 

 

(24 - 25 MAY --------> BACK TO PRESENT TIME, 26 MAY)

 

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Finally, after stuck in the middle, I manage to finish this chapter. I hope you like it. This chapter special for Jonghyun, for him to settled his feeling.

And always, Thank you for all the readers, viewers, subscribers and upvoters. Especially for Jongyoon shippers who are very loyal to leave some comments for me. It means the whole world for me.

Happy reading all ^o^