Afraid

Mark looks into the computer screen, watching how slowly the date he needs is decoded into his USB. It loads so slowly that he could practically take a nap.

He is so focused on it that he didn’t even notice his phone going in and out with missed calls from Youngjae and Jinyoung.

The American doesn’t even know how, but he feels that someone is watching him. It must be a mistake but he is afraid to look up and confirm his suspicions. There could be anyone, but why isn’t they making any sound and is just watching him?

Taking his chance, he raises his eyes from the computer meeting the owner of the pair brown eyes.

Jackson…

He doesn’t even blink, as Mark meets his eyes. He is standing there motionless. The red head doesn’t even know what to think of it. Is his mission going to fall because of this? What is going Jackson to do now? His fate is standing in Jackson’s hand.

“Mark, what are you doing in here?” Jackson’s voice breaks through the silent office. It feels so deep that Mark’s words are stuck in his throat. “Aren’t you supposed to be in the hospital?”

Mark looks at the screen; it’s fifty present loaded and then back at Jackson. “I just-“ he starts unsure of what to say. If Jackson takes one step toward him, he would see everything. “I just needed some information.”

Jackson’s eyebrows frown into a cute line, his eyes telling Mark that he is kind of confused. “What kind of information could you possibly want from the headmaster office?”

He didn’t think this too far, but slowly he steps over the desk, moving his hands so Jackson can’t see taking out the USB. 

Another fail attempt to steal the data.

“I just needed some information on-“ He takes a deep breath as he approaches Jackson. “-you.”

Mark doesn’t even know where he will take this but he can’t let Jackson know what he is doing. Even if this mission is in people interests, he isn’t sure how much he can trust the blonde.

“M-me?” Jackson’s voice breaks a bit as Mark stops just inches in front of him, lowering his head a bit to stare into the slight younger eyes.

“I admit it; I wanted some information on you because I like you.” He knows that he will regret those words later but now he needs to save his . Of course, Jackson makes his heart beat faster and he easily can make Mark smile but at the same time, he is afraid of him, afraid that Jackson won’t meet his expectation. He wants a secure life, not to go back in the past and live it all over again.

“You, you like me?”

Mark bites his bottom lip and steps away, his heart beating faster as never, from adrenaline or because of Jackson’s presence it’s still unknown for him. “Yes, and I am not going to repeat that again.”

“Then why are you always pushing me away every time I want to get closer to you?” Jackson asks, taking a step toward the older that is backing away, but Jackson is determinate and Mark doesn’t know if he can play the game until the end. “Tell me Mark, make me understand.”

There is something in the blonde voice that Mark wants to break away, that voice that he heard hundreds of times, the desperation, and Jackson’s voice that reminds him of his own voice while he tried to understand his friend.

“I am afraid, ok?” The older breaks, letting his thoughts slip out of his lips. He closes his eyes and pushes Jackson a bit back, wanting some space to think. With Jackson there, breathing down his face he can’t think straight, the younger getting the worst and best of him.

“Afraid of what?”

“You won’t understand, you will never understand me fully because you never went through what I went, so let’s drop it,” Mark says rubbing his sweaty hands on the fabric of his jeans, feeling the USB. He feels guilty telling the younger that he likes him; he isn’t that kind of person to play with people hearts.

“How do you know?”

I am sorry Jackson…

“I need to go, please don’t tell anyone that you’ve seen me here snooping information on you.”

With that, he flies out of the room, with a guilty and confused heart.

*Who are you?*

After getting his files from his locker, Jackson makes his way back home with Mark’s words in his mind.

I am afraid…

He guessed that something happened with Mark to beco