30th December 2015

Yuna let out a soft moan as her alarm clock rang. She reached for the alarm clock, her hands searching. Her fingers found the alarm clock a little too violently, and it fell off her bunk, shattering itself on the floor.

... again? Ah whatever i've still got five left in my cupboard.

Groggily, she turned around, her arms circling around, but she found nothing.

Where's Mina? She must've gone back to her room earlier...

Without Mina, Yuna found no other reason to stay in bed. With one heave, she pushed the covers off herself and sat up, stretching. Apart from Choa, Yuna was usually the next earliest to wake up. She clambered down the bunk, and found her lower bed empty.

Seolhyun that damned girl.... I bet she's cuddling with Hyejeong.... where on earth is my Mina? 

She got to the bathroom, and started brushing her teeth, when something hit her. 

30th of December... isn't that my birthday?

Yuna frowned as that thought hit her. She had probably forgotten it, since the whole team was so bust preparing for the Gayo Daechukje end of year show. But what surprised her, or what astonished her, was that why hadn't she recieved any form of happy birthday message? 

The other members are asleep Yuna, how would they tell you Happy Birthday? When they wake up, i'm sure they'll give you the celebration of your life!

As she exited the bathroom, she found none of her member were awake. The dorm was as silent as a liibrary, nothing moved except her. 

Might as well check the mail...

Yuna out on a hoodie, and walked to the mailbox, and flicked open the box.

NO MAIL AT ALL? THIS DAMN BOX WAS FLOODED WHEN IT WAS JIMIN'S BIRTHDAY! Calm down Seo Yuna... it's... it's the end of the year right? The post office is on leave now... relax... you haven't been forgotten yet......

Grumpily, Yuna made her way back into the dorm. As she reached the bathroom once again, she found Mina knocking on the door. Choa was probably in there. Seeing her unoffical girlfriend, Yuna flooped happily over.

'Mina!' She said in a cute way, wrapping her arms around the smaller girl.

'Morning Unnie...'

'Where were you this morning...' Yuna pouted.

'Last night... I was really tired... I just fell on my bed and went to sleep...'

'You have to pay for your crimes you know...' Yuna complained, reaching in to give the girl kiss. But to her dismay, Mina leaned back, and shunted away from her kiss.

'Sorry Unnie... i'm not feeling well... maybe tommorrow?'

'Alright... will you be able to perform tonight?'

'Yea!'

The toliet door opened, and a sleepy Choa popped out.

'Hey.'

'Morning Choa'

With that Choa walked disappeared into her room. A second later, Mina also went in the toilet to brush her teeth, and closed the door behind her. Yuna was left all alone in the corridor.

It's my birthday and you say tommorrow? I was really looking forward to this you know...

As she walked back to her room, she encountered a fine example of Seoljeong along her way. The two girls were tickling each other, laughing all the way. As they passed Yuna, they gave a double wave together, then simply moved on, focusing on each other.

Why does no one seem to remember my birthday today... or even my existance?

After the morning passed, the girls went to their final rehearsal for the Gayo Daechukje. On the car, Yuna sat at the back all by herself, earphones in her ears. After such a dreadful morning, Yuna didn't have the mood to talk to anyone. 

But things would change in the afternoon wouldn't they? 

They didn't.

At rehearsals, Yuna didn't really talk at all. The largest piece of continous conversation was with the dance instructor, telling her how to move and where to stand. That was it. Ocasionally her manager would shout something, but she didn't get to talk to members. No one of them spoke to her. When Yuna tried talking to them herself, they gave short answers, like 'ok' or 'cool'. It was clear that they didn't want to talk to her. And after many many tries, Yuna had grown tired. It was practiacally made clear that her members had no intention of talking with her, and seeing the current circumstances, she had no mood in talking with them too. 

As the day passed, Yuna's mood hadn't changed at all. At the performance, nothing changed. Since it was the second last performance of the year, the manager had demanded to birng out all the aeygo and cuteness they had. Yuna, however, found her heart empty. When it was time in stage, she simply did the dance, and mouthed the lyric accordingly. When the moving camera zoomed in on her, she paid no attention. That camera was usually a star's time to shine, as it meant that all eyes would be on the person. But Yuna simply looked into the crowds, as if nothing was happening. After the performance, Yuna sat at the back of the car again, with her earbuds playing the saddest songs she had on her player. Upon arrival of the dorm, she took a quick shower, then headed straight to her room. Seolhyun wasn't there once again, and she simply sat in her bed all by herself, contemplating on what was happening. 

Why is this happening to me... WHY IS THIS HAPPENING? AM I SO WORTHLESS THAT NO ONE GIVES A ABOUT ME?  Seolhyun and Hyejeong are so popular these days... they're all the fans look at nowadays. Jimin and Choa are both making huge advances in their music making too... Mina has a steady growing fanbase, and Chanmi is getting recognition for being nice to her fans... what about me? I'm not as pretty as Seolhyun, as y as Hyejeong, I can't sing as well as Choa, I can't rap like Jimin, I can't dance like Chanmi can, and I don't have as many jobs as Mina... so what am I? Am I even a part of the Ace of Angels? Does the public even see me as an angel anymore? The other members are getting so much attention, and all this while i'm being forgotten ... Even my members don't give a about me anymore... Seo Yuna what is the purpose of your life?  Should I just leave? Yeah... AOA can be a six person group. They don't need me. No one needs me. The voice of AOA? Choa. The iness of AOA? Shin Hyejeong. The leader of AOA? Jimin. The dance of AOA? Chanmi. The cuteness of AOA? Mina. The face of AOA? Seolhyun. So what the hell am I? The rubbish of AOA? The loser of AOA?  Why am I even here...

Seo Yuna don't be like that... i'm sure they wouldn't have forgotten you... you have had your earbuds in your ears the whole day right? Just go out of your room and talk to them... maybe... maybe something's changed...

Yuna put on a coat, and walked out to the living room. Her members were all huddled around the television, sharing blankets. And hell did Yuna want to be there. But before she had a chance to even open , Jimin spoke up.

'Yo Yuna, you going out?'

'Wha.... no-'

'You are?'

'I'm not-'

'Good! Would you mind grabbing a bottle of coke for us? Like a big one'

'I'm not going ou-'

'Thank you!'

With that, Jimin turned back to the television, the others not saying a single word.

Yuna stared in the living space dumbstruck. She stood all alone in silence, her mind unable to comprehend of what was happening. She opened to speak up, to express her sadness, but none came. She stormed out the door, heading in silence for the nearest park.  She sat down on the swing at hid her face in her hands. It was night time, and no one was out at this time. As it was the end of the year, winter was in full force. Snow hadn't arrived yet, but the tempertaure sure was low. The cruel winter wind sliced through the air like a storm of sharp knifes, sending chills up Yuna's spine. Originally not planning to leave the dorm, Yuna had no scarf and gloves, just her coat. She wrapped the coat tight around herself, trying to make herself as small as possible. The coat itself wasn't that thick at all, and Yuna was left all alone in the park, cold and lonely. And as the  cold winter wind sliced throught the air, so did tears roll down her cold frozen cheeks.

What on earth... did i do... TO DESERVE THIS?  WHY AM I DIFFERENT FROM THEM?  Just like them... enrolled into FNC, trained just as hard as them, became an idol...... I know i'm not perfect...... but is this really what I deserve after all these years? I worked just as each and every one of them... SO WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME? Is it because i'm not popular enough? Or is it because I somehow wronged them? I ... did nothing in particular these couple of days. I"ve spent most of my time talking with you guys, helping you with your troubles, encouraging you, giving you my support. And then? When you've all your figured out, and it's my birthday, you forget me and ignore me and throw me out? After you're done using me, you just leave me on my own? Is that what this is? Survival of the fittest? I know i'm not exactly the best idol... I know i'm not perfect. I know my vocals aren't as good as Choa, I know I can't dance like the rest of you. I know no one watches my fancams, if there are any, I understand that when people think of AOA, they instantly think of you guys and not me. I realise that you've all got projects and shoots and different jobs and offers, and all i've done is a drama. I know i'm nothing in your eyes, a waste of space in the group. I know the realise the fact that the only reason FNC hasn't fired me is because it would be bad to the public... and I don't mind. I don't mind not being a global sensation and having my cutouts all over the city. All I want... all I ever wanted, was a bunch of dear friends. For you guys to be there for me when i'm down, to comfort me and to hold me. All i've ever wanted was to spend time with you guys, to share the joy and laughter between all of you. Is that... really that hard? Is it that much of a challenge to just accomodate another small girl from Busan? I just want... to be remembered ... all I want is a little warmth and love... someone to cuddle on to when I fall asleep in their arms... is that... all too difficult? Why am I.... all alone?

Yuna checked her phone. It had already been had half an hour since she had left the dorm. Her hands were numb now, and she could no longer feel her feet. Coldness slashed at her cheeks, and her tears were plastered against her cheeks. Soreness erupted from her eyes from all the crying she had done, and her heart felt like it had been torn apart. What she wanted to do, was to go back to the dorm and be loved by all her members and Mina, but that seemed to grow more and more distant everytime she thought about it. Her mind changed. What she wanted now... was to ... wander the cold streets alone... to feel the cold on her face...  to walk pointlessy, wherever her legs would take her. But most of all, she wanted to leave the cold dark city of Seoul. She wanted to go back to Busan, to her family, where she would be welcomed with open arms.

Obviously, that wasn't possible.

Then a thought hit her.

Was she really going to quit now? Even if she was unloved, she still had a family to take care of. Whatever happened in the future, there was still the Gayo Daejun's tommorrow, and the bottle of coke Jimin had asked her to buy.

Was she still going to do that for Jimin? After the way she had been treated... her rage had been boiling, but the cold winter wind had turned that into sorrow. But... whatever. The bottle of coke was probably for everyone anyways. And if they were happy......Yuna was happy too. 

Yuna smiled to herself. At least she could be of some use. 

She quickly jogged to the nearest GS25 (popular korean convienience store), right across the street. She entered, and quickly sweeped the largest bottle off the shelf. The cashier was a young teenage boy. As he swiped the coke under the reader, he suddenly stared at Yuna. Yuna frowned, and stared back.

'Is there...... something wrong?'