Seo Jin's POV

I took out my diary. It has been a while since I wrote in it. I flipped open the first page. I couldn't help but smile. All these diary entries aren't ordinary entries. They are written as if I was writing letters to Jimin. All the memories, from Day 1, was all in this very book.

Entry 1

Maybe it's just me, but why am I jealous of you sitting next to Min Ji? Why am I feeling this way? Do you not notice me? Or am I just stupid? How can you be so calm when I'm not? Do you not feel bad? I'm pissed at you... I don't know why too. Maybe I shouldn't have said yes. Maybe I should have told you that it's best we remain as friends.

I smiled. That was the second day we got together. We got into a really tiny argument because I felt jealous of him talking to anoyher girl more than he talks to me. Min Ji is another of my best friend. I hated myself for feeling that way. But things turned out good after that.

Entry 2

Day 3! I already miss you. AND YOU JUST LEFT LIKE, 10 MINUTES AGO OMG. I feel like I'm dying already... I don't know how to express myself well enough in front of you but I promise you, I'm working on it.

I couldn't help but laughed. I remember missing him like crazy. I rummaged through my bag and took out my phone. I dialled a bunch of numbers which I memorized by heart, and waited for the other person on the other line to pick up.

"Yeobosaeyo?"

He picked up. Jimin picked up.

"It's me," I took a deep breath and said.

"Seo Jin ah... Mmm... What do you want?" He asked.

"Can we meet?" I asked.

"Where?" I heard him yawn.

"Same place. The park. That bench. In twenty minutes time," I said.

"Ne," He agreed and hung up the phone.

There was so many questions in my head. I need to get answers. And... I want closure too. I changed and left home. I put my earpiece on and played the music. Just then, someone placed his or her hand on my waist. I pushed that person away, took out my earpiece and turned to face him or her. And it was a him.

"Taehyung?" I gasped.

"Yah... I was just trying to prank you..." He coughed, slowly getting up from the floor.

"Mianhae..." I apologized.

"Where are you going?" He asked.

"To meet Jimin..." I answered, looking away.

His facial expressions hardened.

"Then hurry, don't make him wait," He said.

Then, he turned and walked away.

"What..." I rolled my eyes.

I walked a little faster and finally reached the park. Jimin was already seated on that bench. I walked over and sat next to him. He moved a little closer.

"You have something to say?" He asked.

I nodded my head.

"Me too..." He said.

"You first or?" I asked.

"I go first," He said.

He seemed nervous. His hands were balled up. He couldn't look me in the eye.

"Take your time," I offered.

"Seo Jin ah, have your feelings faded?" He asked after a while.

I shook my head and looked right into his eyes.

"You can say no... To what I'm going to say... But hear me out first..." He kept pausing in between his sentence.

I nodded my head.

"Do you want to get back together?" He asked.

I knew it.

"It hasn't even been a month since we broke up, Jimin..." I said.

"You can reject me... Since I hurt you this badly..." He told me.

"I came here today because I need to get my answers. And I want closure too..." I said.

"Go ahead and ask. I will answer whatever I can," He said.

"Did your feelings fade? Even if it's just a tiny bit," I asked.

"No," He answered.

"Do you still love me as much as the time when you were chasing me?" I asked.

"Yes," He answered.

"Were you dying when we weren't together anymore?" I asked.

"Yes," He answered.

"Do you need me in your life?" I asked.

"Yes," He answered.

"Why me? There are so many other better looking girls..." I said.

"You aren't like them, Seo Jin..." He answered.

"Jimin, knowing you is like, the best thing ever. Getting angry with you is like, the most hateful thing ever. Hating you, rejecting you, and leaving you, is the most regretful thing ever. Moving on is the saddest thing ever. But why? Why does it seem so easy for you? Why does it seem like you don't give a about me anymore? I'm scared, Jimin, I'm so scared... I don't even feel like I'm myself anymore... Why does it seem like you've moved on? You talk to other girls like my feelings don't matter. I would catch you staring at me, but then why? Why are you doing this? Are you really going to wait? Or are you just going to break the promise? Why promise to never leave if you know you would break it one day? What am I to you? Tell me. Talk to me. Stop leaving me alone. Come back to me. Every smile I smile is fake. Every laugh I laugh is forced. But every tear I shed, the pain is real. Everytime I cry, the pain is hurting me so badly. Every heartache kills. I don't even have the motivation to study anymore... I'm pushing people away now, you know... Because I'm afraid they will leave. I don't know what's wrong with me... I act like I'm strong and tough and fine in front of everyone, but I'm dying inside. And I die a thousand times everyday... Jimin, it's hard okay, and I need you. But I'm not going to want you back. I'm going to love myself from now on. I'm not going to hurt myself again. I'm sorry... Let's just stay as close friends, okay?" I let everything out.

Jimin stayed silent.

"Did my feelings fade, even if it's just a bit? No. Do I still love you as much as I did during the time when I was chasing you? Yes. Was I dying when we weren't together? Yes. Do I need you in my life? Yes. Do I miss you? Yes. Do I regret breaking up with you? Yes. Knowing you isn't just the best thing ever. It's the greatest gift I could ever receive from God. I'm not a good person, but I received such a gift. What have I ever done, that was so great, to be rewarded this way? Getting angry, hating you, rejecting you, leaving you, moving on, all these. It hurts me. It isn't easy for me. I still care for you, I really do. I haven't moved on. I just promised myself that I will act like I am over you. That's only so you won't worry about me. I talk to other girls. But we always talk about you and only you. I stare at you because I still wonder how you are so pretty. I'm really going to wait. I was planning to wait. And I was planning to keep to it. I'm not going to break another promise, especially our last promise. I promise before to never leave, and I'm sorry I broke it. But I really mean it when I promised you. You mean the world to me. Stop faking smiles and forcing laughters. Stop shedding tears and crying. Study hard. Promise me. You are strong and tough. I respect your decision... So yeah, let's just stay as best friends. I'm sure if we're meant to be, we will eventually come back together again..." Jimin said and turned to smile at me.

I smiled back.