KIM JONGIN

I could hardly catch a blink of sleep that night. All I could think about was my little moment with Sehun. Every time I pictured his intense gaze, they way his breath mixed with mine, they way he brought my palm to his chest and the way his heart beat just that little bit faster, I found myself giddily smiling to myself like a teenage girl. I knew he did it all to practice his role but  did it feel real... At this rate I wouldn't be able to hold myself back much longer. It was already so difficult to pretend to be indifferent with all the contact we had in our Latin dance lessons, and that night was when my facade finally cracked.

Not to mention every time his y, possessive gaze came to my mind, I felt the heat gather in my groin and my pants tightening. How was I even gonna look him in the eye again without jumping him? , these hormones were seriously driving me crazy.

I need to stay calm and stick to my plan. If I do anything rash, I could wind up losing all my progress with him.

"Kim Jongin!"

I abruptly lifted my head off the table, bleary-eyed, only to be met with the sight of my ticked off professor.

"I'd really appreciate it if you didn't nod off in my class, or your own grades will suffer."

"Y-Yes, Sir," I stammered, hearing a few girls behind me giggle. I'd hardly gotten any sleep the previous night and Dance History really was boring the hell out of me. With a sigh, I tried to keep my attention on the professor but I found myself zoning out every time. Focusing on the lecture really was becoming a chore. 

The truth was, I was majoring in dance but hardly found myself interested in it at all. After all, I only applied for it so I could be closer to Sehun.

I was suddenly reminded of what he had told me the previous day and frowned to myself.

"Is dancing really your dream?"

"It's weird but I kinda feel like you don't particularly enjoy dancing."

"You're not really putting your heart into it."

It was true, I didn't really enjoy dancing all that much, nor was it my dream. In fact, I'd never even taken a damn dance class in my entire life before. Upgrading my dance skill on my coder made me good at it, but it didn't change the fact that I wasn't passionate about it. So maybe I had to lie to Sehun a few times, but it wasn't like I had a choice, really.

"Ow!" I hissed, rubbing my throbbing forehead after Soojung had flicked it with her pen, "What was that for?!"

"Pay attention, you dweeb," she whispered, smirking at me. I rolled my eyes and turned my attention back to the Professor who was babbling away about famous ballet dancers and their biographies.

Ugh, kill me now...

I watched Sehun practice a few Latin poses in front of the mirror as I drank a sip of water, a little sweaty from dancing. The two of us had acted like nothing was out of the usual but there was still a certain awkwardness in the air around us. That didn't change the fact that he was always diligent and hard-working when it came to dancing. I wish I could be more like that, I thought to myself. Everytime I watched him dance, I could see the fiery passion in his eyes, that he really was doing what he loved. And that was what I lacked.

I cleared my throat as I thought of something to talk about.

"Hey... Random question," Sehun glanced at me through the mirror and I took that as a hint he was listening, "What's your ideal type?"

He stopped dancing suddenly and turned to me, "My ideal type?"

"Yeah. You know, the things you look for in someone."

He seemed thoughtful for a minute before speaking, "My ideal type... Someone who's honest and who's always there when I need them. Someone I can share some common interests with and feel comfortable in their company. If it's relevant, I find people who sing well attractive. But I'm not really all that picky."

I bit my lip. Honest. I couldn't help but feel a little guilty when he said that. But it wasn't like those little lies would ruin our relationship , right? As for the singing part... I could do something about that. 

"I see..."

"What about you?" He asked with a quirked brow, "What's your ideal type?"

You, was what I wanted to say as I looked at him.

"I'm not all that picky either, but I find myself rather attracted to good dancers," I said the first thing at the top of my mind, standing up, "Especially those who dance Latin well."

"Oh..." Sehun said nervously on noticing my pointed gaze on him, "Why Latin in particular?"

"It's y, don't you think?"

"Well, that goes without saying," he said with a soft laugh, "Ah, by the way. We're throwing a little barbeque party at the beach this weekend. We're celebrating since we scored a 94% on our music video project. I... was wondering if you'd like to come."

"Really? That's great, congratulations!" I said genuinely, "And I'd love to come."

"Great. You could uh, invite your friends as well."

"Sure," I smiled at him as the next song came on from the speaker. I made my way towards him and held out my hand, "Ready to go again?"

"Yeah. Would you... mind being the lead for this dance?" He asked, almost shyly. Every now and again, he'd ask me to lead. He said it helped him learn better and he found himself rather enjoying it, too. It wasn't like I was complaining either, as long as I got to dance with him, it didn't matter whether I was leading or following.

I smiled, "Of course not. As long as you'll be my follow."

I clicked away on my coder as I walked through the dorm room, knowing Sehun wouldn't be back until after an hour since he still had a class then.

The coding device looked a lot like a tablet really, and apart from updating my skills, I could use it to teleport, upload information into my code and communicate with other travelers telepathically. It really came in handy when we needed to go back to our spaceship, which was located in the deep abyss of the Pacific Ocean. A few of our scientists had resided there for research, studying the Earth and building new machines. Telepathy was a way for them to communicate with travelers all around the Earth whenever it was needed.

'Confirm Upgrade?'

I pressed "okay" on the device and heard the confirmation tone go off.

'Vocal skill upgraded to Intermediate lv. 3'

Suddenly, I heard the sound of the door being unlocked.

"," I quickly opened my closet, the nearest thing to me and shoved the device under a heap of clothes, forgetting to log out in my rush. I closed the closet just in time as Sehun walked into the room.

"H-Hey..." I stammered, standing almost defensively in front of the closet, "What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be back until 2 p.m.?"

Sehun frowned, "Huh? Uh, no... Our professor was absent so we could leave early..."

"O-Oh..." I mentally smacked myself because I just made it obvious I knew Sehun's class schedule.

"Are you usually this observant?" He asked with a chuckle.

"I guess," I laughed nervously, stepping away from the closet.

Sehun frowned at me, "You okay? You're oddly jumpy..."

"N-Nah, I'm just fine," I smiled to try to emphasize my point, "H-How was your acting exam, by the way?"

"Oh, it was great. Thanks for helping me out," he blushed slightly as if remembering the events of the previous night, "You sure you're okay though?"

"Yeah, I'm alright. Don't worry about me," I waved my hand in the air dismissively.

"Uh.... If you say so," He said, still frowning, "I'm gonna go take a shower."

I nodded, watching him get his clothes and enter the toilet, sighing to myself in relief.

That was close... Best not use that thing out in the open like that again.

That weekend, I arrived at the barbeque party with Taemin and Soojung at 8 and by then, there were already over thirty people and the party was going strong. There was music playing from the speaker system in one of the cars. The air was chilly and filled with the sounds of chatter and the waves crashing against the shore. There were some students sitting around the bonfire, making s'mores and talking, while others were either drinking or dancing. Chanyeol and Kyungsoo were standing by a large grill, chatting and tending to the food.

Once we made it to the party, some of Taemin's friends called him over and he excused himself to go drink with them so I was left alone with Soojung.

"This is pretty neat, huh?" She asked, smiling as she breathed in the fresh air.

"Yeah, it's nice." 

I soon spotted Sehun sitting around the bonfire with Luna, Baekhyun and Yixing. Once he saw me, he smiled and made his way over to me.

"Hey. You made it."

"Yeah," I smiled. "Uh, this is Soojung," I gestured to Soojung next to me and she smiled at Sehun politely.

"Hey, I'm Sehun, Jongin's roommate. Nice to meet you."

"Likewise," she smiled.

"Why don't you guys come join us? The food should be ready in a bit."

"Sure."

Soojung and I sat next to Luna, who greeted the two of us with a big smile and a wave, as Sehun sat next to Yixing on the other side. Soon enough we were all caught in casual conversation, enjoying the heat of the bonfire around us and the music. It wasn't long before the beef was grilled and placed on the lunch table, and we were quick to grab our servings before the food ran out. Kyungsoo and Chanyeol had meanwhile started working on a second batch.

"This is delicious," Soojung commented in awe.

"I thought you were on a diet," I said with a chuckle.

"What diet?" She asked nonchalantly as she gobbled on the delicious beef. With a smile, I rolled my eyes. That was when I noticed Sehun eyeing the two of us oddly, but he quickly turned away to Yixing when he saw me looking.

After we were done eating, most of the students had gathered around the bonfire as Chanyeol and Yixing pulled out their guitars to play a few songs. Some students were tipsy from the alcohol and the couples were cuddled together, warming each other by the fire. I knew it'd be cold so I brought a blanket of my own and wrapped myself in it as I listened to the two boys play their guitars and sing songs. Others in the group would also join in to sing when they knew the lyrics, Luna and Soojung included. It was a warm and pleasant atmosphere. Sehun stayed quiet however, and I knew that because I was staring at him most of the time. He had a small smile on his face as he watched Yixing, and I couldn't help but see the fondness and admiration in his eyes.

Actually, I had noticed Sehun looking at Yixing like that a couple of times. He never looked at anyone else like that either. I didn't want to assume anything before but that night, it really was clear to me. Others were singing too, but his eyes were only glued to Yixing. The latter would often look at him and they'd smile at each other softly. I found my hands clutching the blanket a little tighter. 

Why wouldn't he look at me like that?

It was a stupid thought really, but I really found myself envying Yixing that night. It was easy to put two and two together. Sehun probably had feelings for Yixing that were slightly more than platonic. Whether he knew it or not, it was true.

"It's... pretty chilly tonight..." Soojung muttered next to me, shivering and wrapping her arms around herself to give herself some warmth. 

"Here," I said, wrapping half of my blanket around her shoulders. I couldn't really let the poor girl freeze next to me while I was all cuddled up in my blanket.

"Th-Thanks..." she said, blushing softly as she wrapped the blanket around herself and scooching over closer to me so it'd be big enough for the two of us, "That's a lot better..."

I smiled at her and turned my attention back to Sehun as Yixing started playing another tune. I recognized the song as he began to sing the first verse.

"You came to me at the end of a hard day
The desperate prayers of a small boy have reached you
Without color, scent or sound,
you came into my heart
Like the color of the clear street after the rain
You resemble that freshness, my goddess."

Well Jongin, time to put those new singing skills to good use.

It might have been childish, but I just wanted Sehun's attention for a while. Once the chorus kicked in, I began to sing in alternating lines with Yixing. A few eyes turned my way when I started singing, and I was delighted to know that Sehun's did as well. He had a slightly shocked expression on his face as he watched me sing.

"All of your words become wind and spin around me
Your tickling whispers tear everything up
like a whirlwind
My heart can’t settle down
When my name touched your lips
I used to be meaningless but now I’m special," I sang, keeping my gaze fixed on Sehun. This time, he couldn't look away from me. Maybe I wanted him to know that I was interested in him, that I was singing these lyrics for him. My eyes stayed on his own, a soft smile playing on my lips. Whether he caught the hint or not, I didn't want to look away from him.

I felt Soojung cuddle slightly closer to me and Sehun's eyes shifted to her in what seemed like a slightly displeased glance. It was hard to catch, but I was sure it was there.

I smiled and wrapped my arm around her, just to see how he would react. For Soojung it was just a normal, platonic gesture, but I knew we probably looked like a couple to everyone else. I could almost jump up in happiness when Sehun's eye twitched at the sight, before he quickly averted his gaze.

"Don't think I haven't noticed you staring at that Sehun guy for the past half an hour," Soojung said into my ear after the song ended. I turned to her to see that she was smirking at me. Soojung and I weren't even friends that long but it seemed she could see right through me.

"Was I that obvious?" I asked with a chuckle.

"Pretty obvious," she confirmed, "Do you like him?"

"Well, yeah..."

"So you're gay?"

"I guess?"

"Well that for me," she laughed, feigning a disappointed tone, "What about him?"

"I... don't know," I said with a sigh.

"Oh... If it makes you feel any better, I ship it."

I scoffed, "Thanks."

OH SEHUN

I spun Jongin around before pulling him back against me, our eyes not leaving each other's for a second.

"You're getting better at this," he complimented, smiling at me.

"Th-thanks," I stuttered, blushing softly at the compliment. He inched his face closer to mine, eyes scanning my features, almost as if admiring them. There was that spark in his eyes again. I felt my breathing speed up at the close proximity. 

"You okay? You seem... nervous..." Jongin whispered, leaning closer ever so slightly, eyes clouded over and staring at my lips. I let out a shaky breath.

"I-I'm fine..."

"Do I make you nervous, Sehun?"

I bit my lip unconsciously, diverting my eyes down to the ground. He held my chin and pulled it up again so I had no choice but to look at him straight in the eyes, "Uh-uh-uh... eye contact, remember?"

I nodded slowly, feeling weak at his intense gaze. Dammit... why can't I push him away?

He lifted a hand to slowly trace his fingers against my cheek, "Your skin is so soft, you know?"

I gulped. What is he saying? How am I even supposed to respond to that?

He leaned in until his lips were right next to my ear, before whispering, "I want you, Sehun."

I felt his hand go down my chest, ing the first few buttons of my shirt.

"W-What are you doing?" I stammered as he pushed my shirt to the sides, revealing my collarbones.

"Shhh..." He whispered, kissing my cheek softly before burrowing his face into my neck and placing soft kisses there. He slowly made his way down to my left clavicle, softly on it.

"Ah..." A soft moan unknowingly escaped my mouth and I bit my lip in embarrassment, cheeks going bright red. Did I just... moan? What the ?!

"Mmm," Jongin hummed as he kissed his way up to my jawline, lightly sticking his tongue out to along it.

"J-Jongin... W-What are y-you..." I found myself groaning softly again when he the sensitive spot right below my ear.

"You're so perfect, Sehun... I can't get enough of you..." Jongin said deeply, and I felt my pants tighten at how hot his voice sounded. ... what am I doing? Why can't I resist?

Before I knew it, Jongin was ever so slyly sliding his hand down, until his cupped me through my sweatpants. A loud moan escaped my lips as he slowly massaged me through my pants. I dug my face into his shoulder, hands clutching his biceps to hold myself up since my legs were starting to give out on me. His hand just felt so ing good... It was almost sinful...

"Let me hear your voice, baby. Don't hold it in."

I bit my lip, digging my fingers into his biceps as his hand moved faster, "Nnnphh..." My voice was muffled by his shirt as he slowly began to slip his hand into my pants and boxers. No... No this is wrong... This is Jongin! What am I doing? Why am I letting this happen?!

"Jo- Jongin..." I moaned, leaning back to find him gazing at me, eyes shining with admiration and a soft smile on his lips.

"You're so beautiful, Sehun."

I suddenly opened my eyes, my breathing heavy and beads of sweat on my forehead. I was met with the familiar scenery of my dark room. I turned to see that Jongin was sound asleep on his bed and the room was silent, save for the soft whirring of the air conditioner.

"..." I muttered to myself when I realized I was hard too. 

What kind of dream was that?! This is bad... Really bad.

I had a wet dream about Jongin. A ing wet dream. And now I'm hard, too. I never even had a wet dream about Yixing before! And the problem was... 

I liked it. I was enjoying the things he was doing to me.

I sat up on my bed, digging my face into my palms in shame. Damn it, I was already so worked up that night. Jongin's voice when he sang, it was just absolutely stunning. It was smooth and soft, yet deep and melodious. But then there he was cuddled up next to Soojung, looking like the most perfect couple that existed. The way they talked and smiled at each other, their chemistry, it just... felt so unpleasant to look at. I didn't even know why.

I can't keep doing this... I need to get my feelings back in check.

I need to stay away from Jongin.

Song: "Beautiful" by EXO

​Hope you guys enjoyed that chapter! Until next time ;)