OH SEHUN

Oh God... I can't believe we almost kissed.

As I thought back to that moment, I found the blood rushing to my cheeks and I covered my face with my pillow, squealing. I couldn't tell if I was happy, excited, surprised, confused or freaked out. Maybe a little bit of all. Did that mean I was the one Jongin liked? It would explain the way he looked at me and cared about me. But then again there was the possibility that he was just teasing me, right?

Above all, he was about to kiss me. Had Taemin not interrupted, we probably would have. I secretly loathed the guy for having to show up at that exact moment, but at the same time I was kinda relieved he did.

Jongin knew how I felt about him. He knew I was gay. But he didn't seem bothered by it at all. Quite the contrary, actually. Did that mean he swung that way too? Well, obviously, he wouldn't try to kiss you if he didn't, idiot.

I groaned loudly. All the thinking was just giving me a headache.

What was going to happen to us after this? Would we just pretend it all never happened? I knew I probably couldn't. The moment I'd see him again, I'd probably blush deep red and my heart would be thumping against my chest like a pre-pubescent teenage girl. In fact. just the thought of him was enough to do that.

Deciding I needed to clear my head, I put on my swimming trunks and a simple t-shirt to go out for a swim. I rather enjoyed doing it ever since Jongin taught me how to. It was almost a good substitute for dancing. I made my way down to the pool and pulled my shirt off before jumping in. There was no one around and it was quiet, which made it feel peaceful. I found myself swimming in the deep end, but I didn't freak out again since I'd been used to it already. I couldn't remember how long I was in the pool, swimming around in tranquility. My head was blank, and I just enjoyed the feeling of the water around me. I hadn't even realized I was getting tired since I didn't eat any dinner and I hadn't taken a break since I got in the pool.

But the sudden pain in my thigh snapped me back to reality.

"!"

That was when I realized I had cramped my leg and it was getting seriously hard to stay afloat.

Before I knew it, I found myself drowning.

KIM JONGIN

"Come on, Sehun, please wake up," I groaned as I pumped both my hands on his chest. He was passed out and he wasn't breathing. I was becoming increasingly worried by the second that I had been too late to save him.

He can't be... He can't...

I leaned down and placed on my lips on his, blowing air into his mouth, before going back to pumping his chest.

"Breathe, come on, please!" I groaned, blowing air into his mouth again. Why isn't he waking up, dammit?! 

Before I knew it, he started coughing and relief washed over me like a huge wave. He coughed out the water in his lungs as he sat up, panting.

"Sehun... Oh my God, Sehun," I pulled him into a hug, holding him tight as he shivered in arms, "Oh, thank God you're okay."

"J-Jongin?"

"You idiot... You idiot, why?!"

"Jongin..." he nuzzled his face into my neck, wrapping his own arms around me, "I-I thought I was gonna..."

"It's okay. I've got you. You're okay..." I closed my eyes, trying to calm my breathing, "Don't you ever go swimming alone ever again, you hear?!"

I could feel him nodding against my shoulder and I sighed, running my hand through his hair to calm him down. I could feel his short, panicked breaths slowly become more steady as I held him in my arms.

"I-I'm sorry..." he mumbled after he had calmed down some, "for worrying you."

I pulled away and cupped his cheeks with both my hands, scanning his face, "I should have gotten here earlier. Had I been a minute late..."

"No," he rested his forehead against mine, hands resting on my shoulders, "You weren't. You saved my life, Jongin..."

I brushed his damp hair off his forehead, sighing. "I'm so glad I got here in time. Are you hurt anywhere?"

He shook his head, "No. I'm fine. Jongin, I... I have something to tell you. You were right. Earlier today... you were right."

My eyes softened as I took in the sincerity in his own. "Of course I am. You told me yourself last night."

"Then... let me say it again. This time I want to remember it. I... I really like you. And not just as a friend. Not in the way a guy should like another guy-"

"Shhh," I caressed his cheek softly, shaking my head, "I like you too."

He blushed, looking down at his hands before looking back up at me, "Really?"

I chuckled, "Really."

"Uhh..." A sudden third voice had us both turning to the entrance of the pool. Taemin was standing there, staring at us blankly. Sehun widened his eyes and backed away from me quickly as I stood up. "I'm sorry um... it's just... you suddenly ran off like that so I followed you and uh... I'll just... Go now...?"

"Oh, sorry about that," I scratched the back of my head awkwardly. I completely forgot about the guy.

"Th-That's okay! You guys, uh, please continue. I'm not gonna judge or anything so... Yeah! G-Good night, guys!"

I rolled my eyes, "I'll see you tomorrow okay?"

"Yeah, okay," he smiled awkwardly once before leaving. I knew the guy was probably just surprised with the scene he had walked in on but it wasn't like he was judging. Taemin wasn't the type. After he left, I looked back at Sehun and found a confused look on his face.

"He said you... ran off?"

"Huh?" I frowned, before it hit me. I was just talking to Taemin outside the dorm building when I suddenly got the feeling Sehun was in danger and took off running. It was... weird. Like something was guiding me to Sehun so I could save his life. I wasn't sure how it happened but I was thankful for it anyway, "Oh. I-I don't really know either."

He frowned, "Huh?"

"I guess I just... had a bad feeling," I sat down next to Sehun and sighed, "Life and it's mysteries, right? I'm just so glad I got here in time. I don't know what I'd do if I lost you."

He hugged his knees to his chest and stayed quiet. It seemed like there was something on his mind that he wanted to say but was contemplating whether or not to talk about it.

"What's on your mind?" I asked softly, nudging him by the elbow, "You can tell me anything, you know."

He nodded slowly, "I... I was thirteen when I first found out I was gay," he spoke, staring out at the water, "My friends would always check out girls but I just... never found them attractive. Instead, I found myself staring at the guys in the locker room after gym class a little more than I had to. I freaked out at first... thought I was weird and disgusting. I tried dating girls after that, but it never worked out. I was just not attracted to them, nor did I have any feelings for them. I couldn't help it. What's worse was... I was in love with my best friend."

"Sehun..." I frowned, realizing he was opening up to me. I could also tell it was a difficult topic for him to talk about.

"His name was Minho. But obviously he was straight, and I couldn't tell him. But then one day... when we were sixteen, we went to this party. We tried alcohol for the first time and we both ended up completely wasted after just a few drinks. He'd just gotten out of a bad breakup so he was going on and on about how much he loved her and how much of a his ex-girlfriend was, and I just listened. And then... I don't know how it happened. He just suddenly kissed me and... and we fooled around. I was so drunk that night I couldn't control myself and I don't even remember most of it. The next morning when we woke up, he freaked out... Started calling me a and claimed I forced him into it. After that day he just cut me off completely. Avoided me like the plague at school. But what hurt the most was... that disgusted face he gave me that morning, like he was looking at the lowest of the low. Even though he was just as much part of the act as I was, I... really was convinced it was all my fault. It was since that day I decided I'd keep this part of me to myself, forever. Even if I fell in love, no matter how much it hurt, I'd hold it in me. Even if I was going to be alone forever, I would..."

My fists clenched in anger at that boy who hurt Sehun that much. I knew what Sehun was thinking was wrong, but I couldn't blame him for thinking it. He was young and vulnerable, and in love. And when the person you love treats you like that, I could only imagine how it would affect someone.

"I'm so sorry, Sehun," I said, "But... you can't just be alone forever. Life without love would be... meaningless and empty. You eventually have to heal yourself and move on." 

Funny I should say that, huh? I thought to myself, since I literally couldn't love anyone else even if I wanted too.

"I have dance. I have the will to make my dreams come true, and that's what I plan to do. That's enough for me."

"You know that's not true, Sehun. Pursuing your dreams is one thing but having someone to love and cherish you is another. And... I would never treat you like that," I said honestly, taking his hand in mine as he looked at me, "You... don't have to hold back your feelings with me."

He looked down at his lap, "It's just... I'm not used to having my feelings reciprocated. It's just so new and amazing to me. I've gotten so used to holding in my feelings that I don't know what it feels like to show someone love. Apart from that... I haven't come out to my parents or my friends, and I don't think I ever could."

"Don't think too much about it. Everything will sort itself out eventually. You just have to start taking a step forward. For once... act upon your feelings. Don't lock them up inside you."

He bit his lip, contemplating for second before he moved over closer to me so our sides were almost touching. He was looking at me, eyes warm and affectionate.

"How does someone as perfect as you just show up in my life all at once?" he whispered.

"I'm far from perfect," I shook my head, leaning closer, "I'm just crazy about you."

He blushed adorably as he looked down at my lips. "I'm just scared this is all too good to be true," he whispered, eyes closing as he leaned closer, "It's almost like you're not even real..."

I frowned at his last words but before I could process them properly, his lips were pressing against mine in a chaste kiss, making my eyes flutter closed and my thoughts vanish into thin air. His lips were so soft and fitted so perfectly against mine, the feeling of it was just amazing. Tingles were running down my spine at the simple contact and I could feel Sehun's heart thumping against his chest from how close we were. He was nervous, but he took the first step nonetheless. Everything about that moment was just perfect. There were no sparks flying around but the rawness of it had a beauty of its own, made it feel all the more real. And I wouldn't change that for the world. 

He pulled away all too soon, however, and I immediately missed the feeling of his lips against mine, but I held myself back from pulling him in again. I wanted to give him time to get used to it, to us. He opened his eyes and gazed at me, a light blush colouring his cheeks.

And I couldn't help but feel like Sehun looked so beautiful like this. His hair was still damp and the moonlight was shining down on his fair skin, making him look just that much more attractive. Though he was a little shy, I could see the happiness in his eyes, and nothing had ever looked better on someone than a smile did on his lips. He also looked sort of relieved, and I could understand why. After so many years of keeping his feelings locked up inside his heart, he could finally let go and act upon them. He just needed that little push, the reassurance.

But the moment ended all too soon when a sudden ache in my chest had me doubling over in pain.

... No, not again.

"Jongin... are you okay?" He asked worriedly, lifting my face up before gasping, "Jongin! Y-Your eyes!'

"H-Huh...?" I croaked out, feeling numb all over except for the harsh, piercing pain in my chest that was growing by the second.

"Your eyes... They're a-all red... I need to take you to the nurse!"

"N-No... I'm fi-ugh," I groaned, clutching his shoulders. There was this constant buzzing in my ears that was getting louder and louder by the second, drowning out Sehun's yells. Everything was getting darker, and the last thing I saw before passing out was Sehun's panicked face.

When I woke up, I found myself in a white room and I was lying on a bed. It took me a moment to realize I was in the infirmary. To the right, I could see Sehun fast asleep on a chair next to the bed, neck bent awkwardly and sure to be sore once he woke up. There was warm sunlight coming in through the window, which meant I'd been knocked out for a good few hours now. My attention turned to the door when the nurse walked in, smiling at me.

"I see you're awake. How are you feeling?"

"Um, I feel fine. How did I get here?"

"Well this young man here brought you in at the middle of the night. Looked mad worried too. He insisted on staying here until you woke up and I couldn't bring myself to say no," she chuckled, "You kids really shouldn't be overworking yourselves to the point of passing out."

I stayed silent for a moment, "Sorry... I'll be more careful next time."

She smiled kindly, "Good. Now I'll have to run a few quick checkups on you before I let you leave."

I sighed and nodded, knowing those checkups weren't going to help. I knew what I had to do.

"So the nurse found nothing wrong with you?"

"I told you already, there's nothing wrong with me. It was probably just from exhaustion or something."

"You were just fine! We were talking and then you just suddenly passed out."

"But I'm perfectly fine now, aren't I?"

"I don't have a good feeling about this, Jongin. I mean, there was that one time with the bruises too."

I sighed, placing my hands on his shoulders, "Stop worrying about me so much."

"Of course I'm worried! I don't want anything bad happening to you. Please just let me take you to the doctor's."

"Trust me, going to the doctor's is not gonna help."

He frowned, "How do you know that?"

I looked away, "B-Because... I just know."

"Is there... Is there something you're not telling me?"

I paused, staring at him blankly. He seemed really serious.

"Like what?"

"I-I don't know. I'm sorry," he sighed, "Never mind."

"Sehun. Nothing's gonna happen to me, okay? Now didn't you say you had acting class today? I don't want you to be late."

"Yeah..." he looked at me hesitantly before hugging me suddenly, "Just, don't scare me like that again."

I smiled, wrapping my arms around him, "Same goes for you. And I'll be fine as long as I have you."

"Shut up..." He grumbled, lightly punching my chest, making me laugh softly.

"Alright," he pulled away, nodding at me as he made his way to the door. "Take care of yourself."

"I will. And don't freak out if you don't find me here when you return. I have to run a few errands."

"Okay," he bit his lip, "Bye then."

"Bye."

He stood at the door, still staring at me. He didn't make a single move to leave the room. I smiled and stepped forward, taking his hand and pulling him to me. He looked up at me expectantly as I leaned in, pressing my lips firmly against his own. I slowly pulled away a few seconds later, albeit reluctantly, taking in his shocked expression and the bright red blush on his cheeks. I wished I could just keep him with me and kiss him forever, but I knew he had a class to get to.

"Go on now."

He blinked and cleared his throat, "U-Uh... yeah. Bye."

He looked at me for a quick moment before leaving the room, leaving me smiling like an idiot. He's so damn adorable.

Now, I had to focus on finding my coder so I could go back to the base and see what was going on with me. After a good half hour of looking through the room, I groaned. Where did I put that damn thing?

Conveniently enough, I heard a beep in my head right at that moment, meaning someone was trying to contact me telepathically. I could see a light coming out of my closet.

"Hello? Is this code Kai?"

"Yes, that's me," I answered in my head, "Who is this?"

"I'm D.O., a scientist at PQ-176. We've been alerted about your case a couple of months ago and have been looking into it. Is there any chance you could stop by the base sometime soon? There's something very important I have to tell you."

"Oh... Yes, of course. I'll be there today. I was planning to anyway."

"Alright. See you then."

The link was cut off and I made my way to my closet, finding the coding device under a pile of clothes with a sigh. So that's where it was. 

I wondered what D.O. wanted to talk to me about. It had to be something important if a scientist contacted me personally. I had a feeling it had something to do with the weird symptoms I'd been experiencing.

I sat down in front of the the man, who was looking through some files in front of me. He was short and looked quite young for a scientist. He had large doe eyes and plump lips, and the permanent blank face he had made it hard to get a read on him.

I cleared my throat, "So what did you mean when you said you've been looking into my case?"

"Oh, yeah. We heard about you a few months ago from a machine operator. You're the first traveler to have a perfect match of the same gender. We were a little confused and I took it upon myself to study your case."

"Oh... Why does gender matter so much anyway? I mean, it's still love."

"It does actually, based on the results I've gotten. Kai, your life is in danger."

I frowned, "What?"

"Have you been experiencing any symptoms like random headaches, stomachaches, nosebleeds, or anything of the sort? Also, did you get any abnormal skin conditions or discoloration?"

"Y-Yeah actually... And it's been happening a lot more often recently. There was this one time I had these bruises all over my back but they disappeared the very same day."

"So my readings were correct..." he mumbled, "Listen, you need to stay away from that boy, Oh Sehun."

"What?"

"He's the reason all this has been happening. You see, it's in our natural instinct to mate and multiply. This instinct is built deep in our code. But by pursuing someone of the same , you are going against this natural instinct. That is why every time you perform an act out of love for him, or have a lot of physical contact, your code reacts adversely by giving you these symptoms. The greater the amount of physical contact, the more severe the symptoms."

So that was what was happening. That was why I was really sick after the day I healed Sehun. It somewhat explains the dream as well. And that time I had the bruises, it was right after the day Sehun had spilled the soup all over my chest. It made sense, but at the same time it just... didn't.

"You mean... my code is rejecting Sehun?"

"Yes. There's no telling how much worse these symptoms could get, but for your own safety you certainly shouldn't stick around to find out."

"You don't understand," I shook my head, "I can't stay away from him. I've already fallen in love with him."

"I was afraid you would have..." He sighed, "It is your decision what you want to do but it is my job to warn you. And since you two are only getting closer, there is also the risk of him noticing what is happening with you, that's if he didn't already. You're risking our identity being exposed to the humans."

That might have been true, but I didn't really care much. I didn't care if I had to be in pain, as long as I could be with Sehun. Leaving him was simply unthinkable.

"Subsequently, you'd also be putting the person you love in pain by letting him watch you suffer."

"Then there must be another solution. You're a scientist, you can figure it out... right? And how was I able to fall in love with him in the first place if my code rejected him?"

"Love works in ways we don't understand. It knows no limits and no boundaries. Your code doesn't affect the person you fall in love with. In the end, that is all up to your heart."

"So if I'm with him, I'm in pain and if I don't I'll be in pain as well," I groaned. This really was a ed up situation to be in.

"We'll try to come up with some solution but until then, I suggest you try to keep your distance."

I remained quiet. Great. This is just what I needed right now.

"You can't let my parents know about this."

He seemed hesitant but simply nodded, "Alright. Just make sure you're doing the right thing, Kai."

And here's the surprisingly early expositional chapter lol. Hope you guys liked it! Some of you were mad I didn't have a kiss in the previous chapter so here it is. I wanted to keep it short, sweet and natural, not like the overly dramatic first kisses in books, so I hope you guys liked that.

The next chap might be a little late since this here didn't bother making a complete outline before starting the story and now I have to sit and calculate what's gonna happen next lol. #beingprofessional

As usual, keep leaving your awesome comments and I'll see you guys in the next chapter! (whenever that may be) 

Ciao~