A/N: Here’s the next chapter! 

Heads up: it’s another super long one! This is also another 20 pages on MS Word. But hey, it’s not really my fault! There are so many Super Junior and DBSK uncles to write about for this chapter! >_<

Enjoy! :D

Book 4: Blast From the Past

Chapter 16: Uncles

Life hadn’t been easy for Kyuhyun, Changmin, and Minhyun, along with the rest of SJ and DBSK, for the first few months after the revelation at the press conference. However, slowly, things started to improve for them. After all, as it always was in the entertainment industry, an issue was an issue only until the next issue came along. Sure, there were still a lot of people against Changkyu’s relationship, but the hype and interest eventually died down. As several months passed, bringing along new dating announcements, wedding announcements, pregnancy announcements, enlistment announcements, and even announcements regarding extramarital affairs, the attention of the media and the public slowly but surely moved away from Changmin, Kyuhyun, their relationship, and their biological child.

Now, as the public became less outwardly antagonistic toward Super Junior and DBSK, the members were able to slowly relax a bit and little by little go back to their regular lives. Well, their regular lives as idols, that is. And the hyungs decided that when they’re not busy with schedules, they should spend the time with their little nephew. After all, Minhyun had spent the first few years of his life away from them. Hankyung was the only uncle who had really been with Minhyun from the start, and the other uncles thought that now that the public was slowly moving on from the issue, they should focus on bonding with and getting to know their nephew.

So, late one night, some of the Super Junior hyungs went to talk to the parents about the matter. They found Changmin and Kyuhyun in the living room. An old war movie was playing on the television, and the two evil maknaes were … scribbling on notepads?

“What are you two doing?” Leeteuk couldn’t help but ask suspiciously.

“What does it look like we’re doing, hyung?” Kyuhyun retorted, though not taking his eyes off the movie, his hand still scribbling away on the notepad on his lap. “We’re watching a movie! Duh!”

“Okay, but why take notes?” It was Sungmin who pointed out the odd aspect.

“The movie has lots of guerilla strategies,” Changmin answered, looking up from his notepad. “We decided to them note down. They’d be useful for when we take over the world.”

Sungmin was already shaking his head before Changmin had even finished talking. “Forget that I asked!” the bunny lover just said hastily. He blamed himself. How could he forget that sometimes often, when dealing with the two evil maknaes, it really was much better to just not know what they’re up to?

“Now, what do you hyungs want?” Kyuhyun asked in a tone as though his hyungs were interrupting him and Changmin from something very important. And hey, to the evil maknaes, taking down notes for strategizing their world domination really was a very important matter.

“We were wondering if we could borrow Minhyun every now and then,” Ryeowook replied.

And the mention of their son had the two evil maknaes completely distracted from their notetaking. The two of them looked questioningly at Leeteuk, Sungmin, Eunhyuk, and Ryeowook.

“Borrow Minhyun?” Changmin repeated, looking puzzled.

“My son’s not a thing that you can just ‘borrow’!” Kyuhyun immediately snapped. 

“Overprotective mother at 1’oclock,” Eunhyuk muttered, rolling his eyes. As the hyungs were starting to realize, it was quite easy to trigger Kyuhyun’s protective, mothering instincts.

“Actually, hyung, I’m more of at your 3’oclock. But I guess I shouldn’t have expected you to be able to count numbers higher than 1,” Kyuhyun sniffed haughtily.

“Maybe not counting numbers, but he should at least be able to tell the positions of the numbers on a clock, especially when he’s using them for analogy, right?” Changmin pointed out to his beloved.

“Nah, that’s still expecting too much from my pabo hyung.”

“You evil maknaes!” Eunhyuk glared at the two demons. As if it wasn’t bad enough when it was just one demon living in their dorm! Now, with Changmin also staying there to be with his family (Kyuhyun and Minhyun), Super Junior was harboring two demons! Not to mention their little evil minion son! The Super Junior dorm had really become hell on earth!

“We’re getting off topic,” Ryeowook butted in gently. He decided to intervene … you know, before the two demons and their sharp tongues made poor Eunhyukie cry.

“It’s related to the topic,” Kyuhyun countered with a raised eyebrow. “Hyung’s proving himself to be a total pabo, not that we need more proof of that. You can’t expect Min and I to let our son spend time with such pabos, can you?”

“Oh, come on, Kyu! We just want to bond with our nephew and get to know him better!” Sungmin implored their maknae.

Kyuhyun still looked unconvinced, but Changmin suddenly turned around to look at his beloved. “You know, Kyu… That might not be such a bad idea…” At Kyuhyun’s half questioning and half disbelieving look, the DBSK maknae elaborated, “If the hyungs take Minhyun with them now and then, we’d have more time to ourselves … you know, some actual ‘alone time’.” Changmin waggled his eyebrows suggestively. And, of course, the smirk on his face was also very suggestive.

And Changmin had a good point. It’s been months since the maknaes had gotten back together, but they still hadn’t been able to “do it”! They had been busy with their separate Super Junior and DBSK schedules as well as dealing with the consequences of the revelation. More importantly, the maknaes were still staying in Kyuhyun’s old room with their son, and they couldn’t get some “action” at night due to their son sleeping squashed between them. So, the hyungs taking Minhyun out with them during the daytime would finally give the two evil maknaes the opportunity to address their severe cases of blue balls.

Kyuhyun flushed when his mind processed the implications of Changmin’s words. He was … very . Leeteuk, on the other hand, could only splutter incomprehensively at the thought of his baby Kyu “getting some action.” (His maknae was only a baby and too innocent for that kind of thing!)

But the Super Junior maknae was still somewhat torn. Kyuhyun couldn’t say that finally having some “alone time” with Changmin wasn’t tempting, but was it really worth exposing their son to their hyungs’ idiocy? Who knows what such exposure might do to Minhyun’s intelligence level?!

But then, Changmin leaned close to Kyuhyun and whispered conspirationally into his beloved’s ear. An evil smirk slowly spread across Kyuhyun’s face. After Changmin finished whispering, Kyuhyun practically beamed up at his hyungs.

“Okay!” the Super Junior maknae suddenly chirped brightly. “You guys can take Minhyun with you every now and then.”

The hyungs felt a bit uneasy about Kyuhyun’s evil smirk, but they tried not think about it so much (maybe it was some kind of self-defense by their minds; their minds would rather not think about the two demons’ evilness, for thinking too much about it might really make them insane). After all, the maknaes at least finally agreed to let them take their nephew out. That can only be a good thing…

… Right?

Wrong.

Leeteuk, Sungmin, Eunhyuk, and Ryeowook left to tell the others about taking Minhyun out, and once they were gone, Changmin and Kyuhyun looked at each other … and chuckled evilly.

Because what Changmin had whispered to Kyuhyun a while ago was, “Besides, Kyu, think of this as another prank against our pabo hyungs. They’re willingly spending time with our little evil minion. Minhyun will torture them and drive them crazy.”

The hyungs had no idea what they had just gotten themselves into.

Super Junior | Uncle Teukie

Leeteuk used his “leader privileges” to get first dibs on bonding and spending time with Minhyun. However, he soon realized that bonding with Minhyun was somewhat synonymous to willingly and voluntarily offering himself to torture from the little evil minion.

The leader had good intentions and wanted to share his career and passion with his nephew, so one day, Leeteuk took Minhyun to the set of a variety show where Leeteuk would be one of the MCs.

Big mistake.

The shooting began mid-morning, but it didn’t finish until late into the night. All because of the … challenges that the little evil minion presented. Props went missing throughout the day. Decorations would suddenly somehow become loose and fall to the ground. Whoopee cushions went off whenever guests took their seats. The cameras kept showing odd effects and colors (because Kyuhyun did well in teaching Minhyun how to manipulate technology to their advantage).

The best part (for Minhyun) was that the PD, staff members, and celebrity guests couldn’t even get angry at Minhyun. Not when the little boy beamed up such a cute, bright smile at them. It was his poor Uncle Teukie who had to meet all the glares and keep bowing, profusely apologizing for all the trouble.

The end result was that Leeteuk nearly lost the MCing aspect of his career in just one day. All in a day’s work for the little evil minion!

That night, Changmin and Kyuhyun were cuddled on the couch in Super Junior’s living room, wearing satisfied smiles on their faces. With Leeteuk taking Minhyun out for the day, the two maknaes had the whole day to themselves and were finally able to sate their *ahem* “ual needs.” However, they were startled from their post-coital bliss when the front door suddenly burst open and Leeteuk came running in, carrying their son under one arm. The Super Junior leader practically tossed the little evil minion to the two evil maknaes who created him, Minhyun landing across both his parents’ laps.

“Keep your evil son with you! I’m totally done with ‘bonding’!” Leeteuk shrieked before he stomped to his room.

Changmin snickered at Leeteuk’s fleeing back, and Kyuhyun planted a kiss on Minhyun’s cheek with a loud smack. “That’s my little dumpling!” Kyuhyun said proudly.

Minhyun’s appa nodded in agreement. “Yeah, good job, Minhyunnie! One uncle down, only thirteen more to go and drive crazy!”

Minhyun grinned at his parents. “Thanks, umma! Thanks, appa! I won’t let you down! I’ll drive the uncles crazy!”

Super Junior | Uncle Yesungie

It was Yesung’s turn to spend time with Minhyun next. With the ample warning from his leader, Yesung decided against bringing Minhyun to any work-related schedule. Instead, one day, he brought Minhyun to visit at Yesung’s parents’ house (while Minhyun’s own parents kept themselves “busy” in Kyuhyun’s bedroom). 

When the uncle and nephew duo entered Yesung’s room in his parents’ house, Minhyun went straight toward the tank that held Yesung’s pet turtles. Yesung used to keep the turtles at the Super Junior dorm, but with Super Junior being so busy lately, Yesung moved the tank to his parents’ house so that there will be people to regularly care for the turtles.

Minhyun squatted in front of the glass tank on the floor, watching the turtles with a look of fascination on his face. 

The lead singer of Super Junior crouched beside his nephew. Yesung was very glad that Minhyun seemed to be very interested in his turtles. s thought that his love for turtles was weird, but maybe Yesung could finally have someone to share his love for turtles with! Maybe he and his nephew can bond over their love for turtles!

“You like turtles, Minhyunnie?”

Minhyun nodded vigorously. “Yes! They are great!”

“Yes, they make great pets—”

“They make great soup!”

Yesung’s jaw fell open. “Soup?”

“Yes! Uncle Yesungie, did you know that turtle soup is a great delicacy back in China?”

Okay, maybe Yesung and Minhyun viewed turtles quite differently. Yesung picked up the little boy and hurried out of his room.

“Huh? Where are we going, Uncle Yesungie?”

“You want some snacks, Minhyun? I told my umma that you were coming over, and she has cookies and milk ready for you.” Yesung thought that the best way to distract Minhyun from thinking about his pet turtles as a delicacy was to offer the little food monster other food instead.

“Yay! Cookies and milk!”

Yesung took his nephew to their kitchen and sat the boy down at the dining table. Then, he put a glass of milk and a plate with chocolate chip cookies in front of Minhyun. As Minhyun started on his snack, Yesung’s younger brother called out for him, and Yesung left his nephew for a while to see what Jongjin wanted.

When Yesung returned to the kitchen, a horror scene was waiting for him.

Minhyun had taken some food and ingredients from the pantry and had placed them on the kitchen counter. Now, the little boy was struggling to lift a heavy, metal cooking above his head, trying to put it on top of the stove that he was still too small to reach properly.

“Minhyun, what are you doing?!” Yesung gasped. He quickly ran to the little boy and took the pot from him, placing the pot on one of the stove’s burners.

“You could have been hurt!” Yesung reprimanded his nephew. God, if that pot had fallen on Minhyun’s head, he could have been seriously hurt! And then, Changmin and Kyuhyun would for certain have killed Yesung, because their precious son had been under Yesung’s watch when he had gotten hurt!

“Sorry, Uncle Yesungie,” Minhyun said innocently with a pout that immediately caused the sternness on his uncle’s face to fade. “I was just trying to get the soup started while you were gone.”

“Soup?” Yesung asked blankly. Then, his eyes fell on the kitchen counter. Among the food and ingredients that Minhyun had placed there were his three pet turtles!

Yesung quickly scooped up his pets and dashed out of the kitchen, barely hearing Minhyun say, “Uncle Yesungie, where are you taking the main ingredients? We can’t make turtle soup without turtles!”

Yesung went into his room and put the turtles safely back into their tank. Then, he ran back to the kitchen and picked up his nephew. Ignoring Minhyun’s questions about making turtle soup, Yesung called out to his family that he was leaving and ran out of the house with his nephew in his arms. Knowing how evil and mischievous his nephew could be, Yesung thought that Minhyun was probably just joking around and pranking him about trying to cook his turtles. (Please let his nephew only be kidding!) But Yesung wasn’t going to risk his turtles, and he took Minhyun straight back to the Super Junior dorm.

Changmin and Kyuhyun were sprawled on Kyuhyun’s bed, having just “finished yet another round,” when they heard frantic knocking on Kyuhyun’s bedroom door. The evil maknaes were startled, and they rushed to put on some clothes, quite annoyed. However, their annoyance turned into surprise when Kyuhyun opened the door, and they saw a terrified Yesung carrying Minhyun.

Yesung hastily passed the little boy into his father’s arms.

“Teach your son that turtles aren’t food, will you?!” And the lead vocalist rushed off, eager to get away from the evil maknaes and their equally evil son.

“… What?” Changmin and Kyuhyun said together, confused.

Minhyun just giggled happily in Changmin’s arms.

Super Junior | Uncle Kanginnie

Kangin decided to take Minhyun to an amusement park. After all, kids enjoyed the rides and game stalls there. What could go wrong, right?

So, Kangin disguised himself and bought tickets at the park’s entrance with Minhyun bouncing up and down in excitement. It was a weekday, so there weren’t too many people. And while some people still ended up recognizing them, Kangin and Minhyun were mostly left alone, since most of the people there were families also wanting to enjoy the day, too preoccupied with their own children to pay much attention to famous celebrities.

And at the start, their time at the amusement park was perfectly fine. Kangin and Minhyun had fun riding the rides, and Kangin won some prizes for his nephew from game stalls. The day was going so well that Kangin began thinking that it was Leeteuk and Yesung who had messed up when their days with Minhyun turned into disasters. So far, Minhyun had been great as he and his Uncle Kanginnie wandered around the amusement park.

But then, their next stop at the amusement park was bumper cars.

And things started going to hell for Kangin.

Minhyun was quite excitable as they lined up for the ride, but Kangin didn’t think much of it. After all, Minhyun had been so excited about all the rides that they had tried. They chose their own bumper cars and got in them, and the amusement park employee made sure that everyone was safely buckled. The ride started.

And Minhyun went absolutely insane.

The point of bumper cars was, of course, to bump the other cars, and Minhyun went insane with bumping others. True to his title as “the little evil minion,” Minhyun showed no mercy. Not to the other kids. Not to the adults. Not even to his Uncle Kanginnie. Everyone became a target for the little demon and his bumper car. And apparently, for a little boy, Minhyun had a heavy foot on the pedals, because whenever he hit another car, it was with such great force, and the poor victim was quite jostled by the impact.

Soon enough, everyone wasn’t trying to bump into other cars anymore, and they were all just trying to frantically drive away from the little devil. And, of course, Minhyun chased after them.

The ride was over too soon for Minhyun’s liking (the amusement park employee may or may not have ended the rider sooner than usual, taking pity on the poor souls screaming for their lives, the bumper car ride seemingly becoming a literal fight for survival instead), but all the other people in the ride were quite glad. As soon as the cars stopped, they quickly unbuckled themselves and ran away, trying to get away from the little demon.

Kangin would have dearly loved to run away, too, seeing as he felt black and blue from all the times that Minhyun’s car had hit his car. (Kangin himself had been involved in real-life driving incidents, but even those felt like nothing compared to what Minhyun did at bumper cars today!) However, seeing as he was Minhyun’s adult companion in the amusement park, he wasn’t able to run away and leave the little boy.

Nonetheless, when he brought the kid back home and Minhyun back to his parents, Kangin made it a point to tell the evil maknaes not to let their son drive for real in the future, fearing that the little evil minion might go into road rage for real and end up even worse than him.

Super Junior | Uncle Shindongie

Like Kangin, Shindong thought that taking Minhyun out to a place that Minhyun would enjoy was a good decision. Well, a decision that would spare him from his nephew’s evilness, that is.

However, no situation could ever be truly free from Minhyun’s evilness. He was able to cause suffering to everyone, especially his uncles, at any kind of situation! It was a talent!

Shindong decided to take Minhyun to a nice restaurant. Shindong liked food, and Minhyun, being Changmin’s son, loved food. And that right there was actually the issue that Shindong overlooked. Taking a food monster to a restaurant was plain out asking for trouble.

Technically, Minhyun didn’t do anything wrong. He didn’t cause any pranks or trouble or mischief at the restaurant. Why would he do such things when there were lots and lots of food waiting for him to eat?

And that’s what brought suffering to Shindong. Brought suffering to Shindong’s wallet, specifically.

Minhyun ate so much! The restaurant wasn’t outrageously overpriced, but the little food monster just kept ordering and ordering and ordering and ordering some more. The restaurant staff were becoming overwhelmed, and the chefs in the restaurant kitchen had been cooking nonstop since the little food monster entered their restaurant.

But Minhyun just kept ordering. Endless dishes of appetizers, main courses, and desserts. And he showed no sign of stopping.

Finally, late into the day, the manager came up to Shindong and Minhyun, apologizing and saying that the restaurant was already closing for the day. Usually, the restaurant wasn’t set to close for another few more hours, but the manager decided to call it a day much sooner, afraid that the bottomless pit the child would eat them out of business.

And then, Shindong was handed a bill that was about a mile long!

Thank God for Shindong’s premium credit card. Otherwise, he and Minhyun would have been washing dishes at the restaurant for months due to the exorbitant price that Minhyun’s hundreds of food orders had reached.

As soon as they got home, Shindong pushed Minhyun back into Kyuhyun’s arms … and he pushed the mile-long bill into Changmin’s hands. At the bewildered look from the DBSK maknae, Shindong stated that Changmin was expected to pay him back all the money that he spent at the restaurant.

“But you were the one who offered to take him for the day and brought him to the restaurant!” Changmin protested at the injustice of being charged for the food bill.

“Yes, but I wasn’t counting on Minhyun eating that much!” Shindong argued. “It your bottomless stomach that he inherited—you pay for it!”

And Shindong left, leaving Changmin to grumble to himself.

However, instead of being sympathetic to the love of his life, Kyuhyun just snickered at him. Then, upon receiving Changmin’s glare, Kyuhyun just shrugged his shoulders. “Hey, for the first four years of Minhyun’s life, I’ve had to shoulder all the payments for the endless amount of food that he consumes. All because of the food monster genes that he got from you. It’s high time you do your share of paying for all his food since it’s all your fault for passing your stomach onto our son.”

Changmin could only scowl, unable to refute the truth in Kyuhyun’s statement. Thank God that Changmin made a lot of money from being a K-pop idol. Hopefully, those earnings could sustain his and Minhyun’s food consumption.

Super Junior | Uncle Sungminnie

Soon, it was Sungmin’s turn to take Minhyun out for the day. And the bunny lover member of Super Junior insanely thought that doing martial arts was a good way for him to bond with his nephew. But more than just bonding with his nephew, Sungmin also thought that learning martials would be beneficial to Minhyun. After all, practicing martial arts helped with keeping one fit and healthy. More importantly, it’s for protection. As the son of famous K-pop idols, Minhyun should at least know some basic steps on how to defend himself. The life of idols sometimes got chaotic and even dangerous, after all.

So, Sungmin brought Minhyun to the martial arts training center where he regularly practiced. And he began showing Minhyun basic moves. Being a genius like his parents, Minhyun quickly picked up what he was being taught. He was able to copy and do the stances, forms, punches, and kicks perfectly.

Sungmin was quite pleased with how well his nephew was doing … until Minhyun became quite “enthusiastic” with practicing and literally destroyed one of the punching bags in the martial arts training center.

How a little boy who’s not yet even five years old managed to take down a heavy punching bag, Sungmin didn’t really know. All he knew was that he jumped out of skin in shock when the punching bag that Minhyun had been punching and kicking suddenly fell down the floor with a resounding crash. The little evil minion had attacked it so much and so forcefully that the hook and cable that hung it from the ceiling suddenly broke.

And even when “the enemy” (a.k.a. the inanimate punching bag) was already down (literally!), Minhyun still kept attacking it. Sungmin tried to pull him away from the punching bag, but the little boy broke free from his Uncle Sungminnie’s grasp and kept attacking the punching bag. He punched and kicked, and punched and kicked, and punched and kicked some more. Soon, the leather covering of the punching bag wasn’t able to take the force, and it split. The sand poured out of the punching bag.

Minhyunnie destroyed “the enemy”! The little boy raised his arms in victory, cheering about being undefeatable and conquering the world in the future with his new martial arts skills!

Sungmin let out a horrified groan. Holy , what the hell had he done?! On hindsight, he realized that teaching strategies and fighting skills to the little evil minion, who was bent on world domination like his parents, wasn’t such a good idea.

The bunny lover Super Junior member was still drowning in guilt when he shoved Minhyun back to his parents.

“Umma! Appa! Guess what?” Minhyun said excitedly. “Uncle Sungminnie taught me martial arts! I can use them when we start conquering the world!”

Sungmin bolted away from the evil family, his conscience plagued with the burden of knowing that if their world domination plan succeeded, Sungmin had some fault in it. Why on earth did he even think that teaching the little evil minion martial arts was a good idea?!

Super Junior | Uncle Hyukie

Most of Minhyun’s uncles were glad for the chance to spend time with their little nephew. Eunhyuk, on the other hand, wasn’t so enthusiastic about the idea. He had already experienced more than enough of Minhyun’s evilness that he was wary of spending more time with the little boy. Especially if it was going to be only him and Minhyun together.

In fact, Eunhyuk was so wary (actually, he was quite terrified) that he initially said “pass” when it was his turn to take Minhyun out for the day. But then, Minhyun pretended started to sniffle and make puppy-dog eyes, asking in a heartbroken voice why his Uncle Hyukie didn’t want to spend time with him.

Eunhyuk couldn’t say no to those puppy-dog eyes. And he especially didn’t want to get his kicked by Kyuhyun, Changmin, and Leeteuk, who were all ferociously glaring at him when Minhyun pretended to be became upset. So, in the end, he also took his turn in spending time with his nephew.

However, Eunhyuk made it a point to not choose video games anymore as their bonding activity. Or any other kinds of games, for that matter. You know, since Minhyun always destroyed him whenever they played games. While Minhyun always enjoyed winning against his Uncle Hyukie, Eunhyuk’s ego couldn’t anymore take consistently losing to a very young kid.

So, this, Eunhyuk decided to go with his own strength: dancing!

Eunhyuk was, after all, the lead dancer in Super Junior, and in Eunhyuk’s (biased) opinion, he was a much better dancer than Minhyun’s mother, Kyuhyun. So, Eunhyuk thought that his ego would be safe this time.

However, he was dead wrong. His ego