Chapter 8:    Ruin

Pie Mindara Manaying

Monday was fast approaching and before I knew it, here I was; stuck in my car for the past ten minutes without having the courage to step out and faced the familiar environment of the school. If once I used to be a confident teacher, now I doubted that I could ever be one. Shame had dragged me down to my lowest self-esteem; all of sudden, I didn’t even know how to carry myself as Pie Mindara anymore. I was just too afraid to face everyone after the unexpected white veil occasion. What would they say when all they have learned was, I was married to a woman without them knowing that I wasn’t fond of that kind of relationship at all. It was a mistake but obviously, they wouldn’t understand that. Thinking about this made my mind wandered back to Kimhan. I hadn’t seen her much since the day of the funeral. It was not that Kimhan wasn’t home. She was at home for the rest of the week but she never came out a bit ever since we came back from the graveyard. Right after I ran out from the car, Kimhan had managed to get me back into the car. As far as I’d remembered, she promised my Grandpa that she would look after me for him and there she returned the favour by running after me. Kimhan had an advantage of her being stronger without any difficulties; she heaved me up onto her shoulder and carried me back to our vehicle. Being defenceless I was, I couldn’t protest neither stop her. We went home in awkward yet complete silence.

It was crystal clear that I was mad at her. How could she simply say that filing the divorce right away would solve my problem? Again, no one ever understood the deal that I have to endure because of my own clumsiness. Filing the divorce just after a few days of getting married wouldn’t make any sense at all. Who have done that for God’s sake? It was absurd; totally unacceptable to me for the reason that I was a woman with pride. What was Kimhan even thinking? Did she assume we were playing the house like children used to enjoy when they were young? Did she think our marriage was kind of fun where children used to argue about who would be the husband or wife in the family? Kimhan never really thought when she was about to make a decision. Again, how could I not put the blame on her too? She didn’t use her brain before she made that wise judgement. Lack of common senses I could tell; Kimhan was utterly an immature person.

This; the marriage we have been set up was meant to ‘save’ me from being sent to the rural area which I had highly refused to go. It was not only that, this set up must have gone genuine like it was being built up with pure bases of trust, understanding and sickly said, love. Things have begun wrong but that didn’t mean we couldn’t go on with the exact planning. Kimhan was just too selfish in the case; she forgot that her role was not yet completely done in this role play and most importantly, she didn’t know what awaited me once I entered the school building. I sensed something unpleasant waiting for me and it was terribly awful as per my instinct.

The knock on my window startled me. Once I have got to calm myself, I saw Fern laughing her lungs out. Her hand clutched to her stomach while her other hand was covering the mouth for the outburst amusement. She did enjoy seeing me getting shocked. What a good best friend she was!

Fern made some hand gestures and pointed a finger to her wristwatch, informing me about the time. I glanced to my wristwatch just to figure out that the bell was about to ring. Wait no, I couldn’t be late for my first day of coming back to school.

            “You okay?” Fern asked me once I got out of the car and locked it. I only managed to answer her with a nod. God, why was I so nervous? Noticing my uncomfortable state, Fern’s hand found its way to mine. I felt she squeezed gently and that was the moment I brought my gaze up to her. “It’s going to be fine,” She said, smiling at me with a slight look of encouragement.

            “What if they couldn’t accept me?” I frowned. As if Fern has been expecting me to say such thing to her, she shook her head quickly. It was meant to toss away my bad thought, I know. Only if she knew that it wasn’t convincing at all; I was just too scared of something unexplainable.

            “The students need you and that’s the only thing that matters. You are here to give your best to educate them,” She soothed me. Somehow her words of encouragement managed to lift up my mood. Yes, teaching was my passion and would always be my best interest. I just couldn’t imagine what I would do if it was not teaching.

 “C’mon Pie, you’re going to beat their asses with your killer quiz questions!” The laugh escaped from my lips almost instantaneously. Thank God for sending me this crazy best friend. At least, I have gotten the calm I needed the most before the hurricane of bad lucks swept me off.

*******

All eyes were on me when I first stepped my feet into the staff room. Most of the gazes were blank considering that it was Monday; come on who liked Monday anyway? But the rest gazed at me as if they have never seen me in person. I tried to flash my best smile at them but it only turned out to be an ugly frown mixed with a forceful smile. The environment inside this room was unusual. It was a bit tense I could tell.

            “There she comes! The lesbian teacher is here,” Someone spoke with a loud voice just enough to make everybody listened to her. I recognized the voice; she was Jane, my one and only rival at this school. I might have never mentioned about her but she has been my competitor ever since I came to this school. Jane wasn’t that bad though. Considering that the both of us were quite young and competitive, we worked hard for our passion.

My gaze shifted from Jane back to my best friend. Fern’s eyes widened in shocked mixed with anger. I saw she gazed at Jane’s direction whereas unexpectedly, I noticed Jane was walking towards us as well. Being swollen-headed as she has always been, she stopped right in front of me, crossing her arms across her chest while looking at my entirely form from the head to the toe. “How could you be this shameless and show up here like nothing, Mrs… what should I call you?” I saw she took out the invitation card I had given to her last week from nowhere I care and read through the content briefly. “Mrs. Burnaphan? She completed her sentence. “If I were you, I would willingly change school,” She smirked, obviously trying to test my patience.

Fern stood before me right before I could take any action. “Mind your own business, Jane,” Fern hissed, curling her hands into fists. I have never seen Fern that furious. See, like I have mentioned earlier, the day wasn’t going to be all right.

            “Trying to stand up for your best friend, I see,” Jane laughed her sarcastic remark, not a bit affected by what Fern has warned her. “How could you deviate from the right path when your best friend is as straight as pole, Pie?” Jane searched for my eyes as she shoved Fern aside. Fern mumbled a few of cursed words but then, Jane ignored them all. Later, the devil’s daughter stood close to me waiting for my response. She was anticipating me to stand for my dignity but in this state of embarrassment, I have lost every word that I have practised to defend myself yesterday. I couldn’t utter any single coherent sentence to counter her. Instead, I felt tears began to pool at the corner of my eyes. I have never thought I could be this defenceless. I couldn’t find a way out from my own problem.

Realizing my sudden change, Fern hastily dragged me away from Jane and led me to my desk. Laughing out loud at the background, I heard Jane began to talk about me to the other teachers who unfortunately couldn’t come on that day. Yes that was right, she would tell everyone in the school about me being married to woman and officially being crowned as lesbian without intention.

            “I can’t do this, Fern. I think I need to stop teaching immediately,” My hands was shaking and gradually turned cold as Fern made me seated in my comfortable chair. I used to like every of my belongings in this staff room but it wasn’t anymore. This room was a torture room for me. Soon, the rest of my colleagues would throw a dirty look at me whenever they saw me. They would isolate, humiliate me and for the worst part; my existence might not be significant to them at all.

Sighing, Fern glared at me, “Yes you can go through this like you are enjoying a piece of cake and no don’t you dare to stop teaching, idiot!” She seemed infuriated by my statement. “Let’s head to your class. You’re already late for five minutes and guess what teacher? You don’t have the tardy pass,” Fern jested but it turned out that everything was getting serious by now. She helped me grabbing my teaching materials and also my planning book. Right after she had gathered all the things I needed, she hooked her hand around my arm and again, rushed me to get out of the room.

            “Fern, you’ll be late to your class,” I stopped my best friend on the half way to my class. Fern didn’t bother to look at me. She shook her head, telling me that her teaching session started at the second period. Five minutes later, we rounded the corner and the door of my classroom was already looking scary to me. Why on Earth I have to feel terrified of everything? Was it because I believed that my instinct would come true? Something unhappy was waiting for me right behind the door.

Fern didn’t hesitated to pushed the door and dragged me into my classroom in rush. At the very moment we realized what was happening in there both of us froze on our feet, trying hard to digest the scenes that took place inside the classroom. The students were doing their work assisting by a young teacher. I could tell that Fern might have never known the replacement teacher judging from the way she studied the figure of that new person.

            “Well students, continue your work and excuse us for awhile,” Said the replacement teacher as she walked to us. Taking the hint from her, all of us walked out from the class for a talk maybe.

            “I have never seen you before,” Fern was straightforward. The young teacher smiled at us, amazingly calm and polite at the same time.

            “My name is Apinya and I’m a new teacher here,” She introduced herself. I managed to study her figure briefly. She was beautiful and judging from her appearance she might be two years younger than me or so. It might be her first year of teaching as well.

            “Well, nice to meet you Apinya. I’m Fern and this is my friend, Pie. As you can see, Pie is back now. I think it won’t be a problem if Pie will be taking care of her babies and classroom again?” Fern said in one breath. Apinya’s brows raised slightly at the moment Fern mentioned that the students were my babies. She just didn’t expect that.

Apinya fidgeted on her feet as she gazed at us with a confused look. “I don’t get it,” She shook her head.

            “Is there any problem?” I spoke for the first time.

            “The Principal said I’ll be taking over the class from now on…” Apinya didn’t manage to finish her words when Fern interrupted her.

“Yea, until Pie returns. We all know that you have been assigned to replace Pie for awhile,” Fern stated almost confidently with her statement. Apinya didn’t take it good. I saw she frowned even more as she heard what Fern has told her.

“No, it’s not that,” She rubbed her temple. “I’ll be taking over